I demand an Asuka CYOA from you, Squigs.

All in good time, friends, all in good time...

(In all seriousness, I want to finish Shinji's CYOA before starting a new one. There will be another one once this one has finally ended though!)

You decide to leave Kaworu be. He'll survive a bit of alcohol. His love bites don't seem to be bleeding too profusely, so he should be OK.

You leave the room and look for Rei. You carefully maneuver past the various drunk women on the floor, looking for your bride-to-be.

You find Misato, Ritsuko, Maya, Mari, Hikari and the fortunately conscious Asuka, but no sign of Rei.

You go over to Asuka. "Excuse me, where's Rei?"

Asuka looks up at you. "Oh, Wondergirl...She's in your room I think..."

You bow to her. "Thanks!"

"No problem. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to wake all these people up..."

You once again avoid treading on any of the guests, and make your way to your room.

You open the door, and find Rei lying on your bed in her underwear, dozing peacefully. She looks incredibly sweet when she's asleep.

You kneel down next to her. You plant a tender kiss on her forehead, and she mumbles in her sleep.

"..Mmm...Shinji-kun...is that you?..."

She giggles a little.

Determined to keep the WAFFy filler down as much as possible, you crawl into the bed with her, holding her tight. You feel her nuzzle you, and soon you are asleep, bringing the painfully soppy segment to an end.

The next morning you wake up, feeling refreshed, with Rei clinging to you like an adorable, blue-haired barnacle. Her blood-red eyes gently flick open, and she smiles at you as the prose slowly turns a hideous shade of bruised mauve.

"Well, our wedding is in a few hours. How do you think we should pass the time, Shinji kun?" she says, happily.

1: Play a game on the Sega Saturn,
2: Have a little bit of "close communication time" (for the millionth time in this CYOA)
3: Get up and make breakfast together,
Or 4: Something better that I can't think of, but you awesome guys and gals probably can?

44

Discuss with her the meaning of life.

4

Play cricket. In ocean. While seating on a bulls that are standing on top of four dolphins each.

3. I want fluff.

3.) Might as well give this story some book ends, right?

Also, I had a brilliant idea. The priest who officiates the wedding ceremony shall be Garterbelt!

"If anyone has any reason that these two should not be married, then shut the **** up! Or else I'll sic my two angels on your ***** ***! *Gestures to Panty and Stocking sitting bored on Lilith's shoulders*

Stillborn wrote:4

Play cricket. In ocean. While seating on a bulls that are standing on top of four dolphins each.

This may be ridiculous, but I just finished Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon and that game was a little ridiculous, and so is this CYOA.
-First: not cricket, Laser-Cricket, with neon bats of course.
-Second: solid gold, mecha-dolphins.
-Third: somehow, the game becomes so intense, they wind up in an ocean of lava, or space, either one is fine, extra points if you somehow make both happen.
-Fourth(optional): epic speech with an american flag in the background

EDIT: A thought occurs. He's not just playing against anyone, he's playing against Anno to get revenge for all the crap he wrote into his life.

3!

Well, 4 wins. And the cricket idea won of the other 4 options. Since you've read THe Hitchhiker's Guide to The Galaxy Series, I suggest we invite the residents of Planet Krikkit to play with us.

EVAfacepalm wrote:Well, 4 wins. And the cricket idea won of the other 4 options. Since you've read THe Hitchhiker's Guide to The Galaxy Series, I suggest we invite the residents of Planet Krikkit to play with us.

I should point out I've only listened to the primary and secondary phase of the radio show, so I'm not THAT familiar with HHGTTG. Still, I'll do my best!

"Tell you what" you say to your partially albino bride-to-be "How about we play some cricket?"

Rei's ears prick up at the suggestion. "I like the sound of that. However, if we do, it must be done on the ocean, on the back of bulls, which are in turn standing on dolphins. And the bats must be made of rhubarb, and neon, and the dolphins must be made of solid gold, and-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" you cut in, interrupting the pastel-haired beauty "The author barely understands the rules of regular cricket, let alone waterborne cricket on the backs of silly animals made of gold with rhubarb! The writing will be even more of a mess than normal!"

Rei looks sullen. "Oh. Can we at least do something abnormal with the game?"

You sigh. You really don't want to upset Rei, but at the same time you don't want a poorly written, messy arc.

"Well" you say "We could always play in a volcano..."

Rei's smile returns immediately. "Excellent. We shall go to the local volcano from that episode with Sandalphon immediately. I suggest we put on protective clothing, as lava can cause annoying symptoms such as an agonizing death if treated carelessly"

You nod and get out of bed. "Now, how are we going to get there..."

Suddenly, a radiant portal of light opens above your bed, and Kaworu descends, whilst this plays.

"Oh dear" mutters Kaworu, recovering from the calamity "I'm never having Beaker as my backing singer again"

Then he turns to you and smiles. "So, what can I do for you, Shinji-kun?"

"Well, I-" you begin.

"We wish to play a game of cricket inside the molten heart of a volcano" interjects Rei "So we will need the means to get there and some form of protection"

Kaworu folds his arms. "Well, that's quite a tall order, but I'll see what I can do"

Then he closes his eyes, begins levitating, and with a flash of light, you, Rei, Asuka, Misato and himself have been transported to the inside of a volcano.

"What the hell are we doing here!?!?" wails Asuka.

"Oh, we're playing a game of cricket" explains Kaworu.

Asuka shrugs. "OK then...whatever..."

Then something occurs to you. This doesn't feel quite right. "Kaworu, it doesn't feel very hot in here. What's going on?"

The messiah-figure laughs. "Oh, I'm sorry, you didn't think this was a real volcano did you? The Japanese government decommissioned all the actual volcanoes and replaced them with ones filled with harmless Safety Lava"

This seems rather pointless to you, and completely ruins the episode Magma Diver, but oh well.

"Say, Kaworu, this is gonna be boring if the lava's only fake. What's gonna make this interesting?" you query.

"Funny you should mention that" replies Kaworu "Because I thought it would be fun if we played cricket using our Evangelion units"

With a snap of his fingers, Evangelion Units 01, 02, 00, 06, and a modified Jet Alone with a cockpit are airdropped into the crater, each landing with almighty thuds.

Alongside each Evangelion is an enormous metal frame-like contraption, each with the words "BEAM CRICKET BAT MARK 1-DO NOT TOUCH" printed on in enormous block red capitals.

Then, an enormously oversized set of cricket stumps and bales is dropped in, each landing perfectly straight. Finally, a colossal cricket ball crashes into the very centre of the crater.

You all look at the rather ridiculous setup for a few seconds, before deciding it is relatively sane compared to the rest of this far-fetched misadventure.

"Well, this is all very well and good" says Misato "But who are we playing against?"

Suddenly, out of the darkness steps none other than Hideaki Anno, surrounded by 4 Reitrons-robotic clones of Rei. Unlike the Shinjinators, these replicas are more or less human, although they have very different colouring from the real Rei-one has purple hair, another has green hair, one is blonde and the last has bright red hair.

"You called?" he says, unusually cheerfully.

How do you react to this unexpected (read: totally obvious, because someone suggested it) turn of events?

1: "You bastard! What are you doing here?"
2: "Oh. Hello there. How are you doing?"
3: "..Daddy?" *Runs up to him and hugs him*
Or 4: *Breaks down in floods of tears*

THREE.

3333

2. Good. Because I am a potato.

3!

1.) He is obviously here to ruin the fun of our silly fanfic because he considers it to be an insult to his "deep artistic narrative"

Also, may I suggest that Anno have a robot shaped like Jesus that runs on disturbing imagery?

Go with 4.

You look Anno in the eyes, and suddenly you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

This man, this beardy artist, your creator...could he be your real father?

"D...Daddy?" you gasp, your eyes watering.

Anno looks at you funny. "Umm, Shinji, are you OK-"

"DADDY!" you cry, running at Anno and glomping him.

Anno stands completely stock still, utterly bamboozled by your behaviour.

"Erm...What are you doing?"

You continue hugging him, making adorable but incredibly strange puppy noises.

"Oh, daddy, I've found you at last! I knew Gendo wasn't my real daddy!" you coo.

Anno sighs.

"Shinji, I hate to break it to you, but...I'm not your father. Gendo is...I'm sorry..."

You sigh, and slump dejectedly away from your creator. "Oh...Well, the relief was good while it lasted..."

Anno pats you on the head.

"There there, my wayward creation...It could be worse-this could be 3.0"

"Don't remind me" you growl.

"Anyway" says Anno "I heard you wanted someone to play a game of cricket with? Well, here I am!"

"That is extremely kind of you" says Rei, with a smile.

"However, I thought we'd up the stakes a bit" Says Anno, with a smirk "If I win, you have to stop butchering my life's work and bring this silly fanfic to an end!"

"And if we win?" asks Misato.

"If you win, then I promise I'll write a happy ending for the last Rebuild movie! A fair deal, no?"

You shake his hand. "You're on!"

You turn to your comrades.

"Right. We're going to need a plan of attack. First, who's going to take which position?"

Which positions do your team take?

For the record, here is the team:

Shinji, Asuka, Rei, Misato, Kaworu.

There are 4 positions open: Bowler, Batsman, Fielders (there will be 2 of these) and Wicket-Keeper.

1 person must be the Bowler, 1 must be the Batsman, 1 must be the Wicket-Keeper, and the remaining 2 must be Fielders (on a turn in which the other team is batting, the unoccupied Batsman will be a Fielder).

What positions will you assign our intrepid heroes?

Asuka and Misato as Fielders. The two of them are fearsome when they join forces.

Rei shall be the wicket-keeper. She has steely composure.

Shinji shall be the batsman. He will never run away from the ball.

Kaworu shall be the bowler. He will inspire Shinji!

Also, all of them need to play in maid outfits.

Nuclear Lunchbox wrote:Asuka and Misato as Fielders. The two of them are fearsome when they join forces.

Rei shall be the wicket-keeper. She has steely composure.

Shinji shall be the batsman. He will never run away from the ball.

Kaworu shall be the bowler. He will inspire Shinji!

Also, all of them need to play in maid outfits.

Because I know nothing about cricket, this sounds most reasonable. Therefore, I vote for this. (including the maid outfits)