2!

2, for the love of god! 2!

2222dois

2. But I doubt you'll have to go far. Gendo probably has a variety of surveillance devices in the apartment and has probably just called in half the JSSDF along with all of the MP Evas that he's convinced Seele to lend because the child will most likely be a new angel.

Also, wow, that was not a joke like I thought it would be.
I thought this was the silly misadventures of Shinji. I din't know you would be injecting such dark drama into something so simple and funny.

Wait... Squig, are you related to Anno himself in any way?

2. There is no way he can't tell Gendo without hilarity.

EVAfacepalm wrote:2. But I doubt you'll have to go far. Gendo probably has a variety of surveillance devices in the apartment and has probably just called in half the JSSDF along with all of the MP Evas that he's convinced Seele to lend because the child will most likely be a new angel.

Also, wow, that was not a joke like I thought it would be.
I thought this was the silly misadventures of Shinji. I din't know you would be injecting such dark drama into something so simple and funny.

Wait... Squig, are you related to Anno himself in any way?

Alas, no. I'm gonna be honest, that came out a LOT darker than I intended. It was supposed to be exceptionally silly, but...yeah.

Don't worry, I will make sure that it gets funny. Gendo's reaction will add some humour into this.

You know, I'm wondering what we'll do from here. This CYOA's strength up to this point had been an ability to jump from arc to arc when the idea could no longer have jokes. Now... we either have a 9 month time-skip, the whole thing becomes about the pregnancy for the rest of its run, or we just ignore it once this initial shock is out of the way.

I was thinking of concluding the CYOA pretty soon. it's had a great run, but I'm running out of ideas, so this will probably be the last arc. Don't worry, I will make sure it goes out with a bang.

Screw it, here's an update, we have enough votes anyway so why not?

"Do you...do you think we should tell my dad?" you ask Misato.

Misato snorts the beer that she had spontaneously started drinking out of her nose with laughter.

"Well...*snort* you can try...Hehehehehee...But I don't think it will go well...Oh screw it, I want to see how the old scroat reacts! HAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!" she guffaws.

You smile. It seems that alcohol has come to the rescue and stopped the CYOA from taking a rather depressing nose-dive.

Asuka starts chuckling. "Heh, I would love to see the look on the beardy wanker's face when he finds out his personal doll is having a child with his son, Wanko-kun!"

"Indeed, the reaction from the commander would be highly humourous" giggles Rei "It shall be so. If this is going to be the last arc, let's make it a good one"

You, Rei, Misato and Asuka head over to NERV headquarters in Misato's car, and after a few hours of driving, narrowly avoiding a sunbathing Sachiel, you arrive at the enormous silver pyramid.

You go through the check in, and eventually arrive at Gendo's office. Fuyutsuki is standing next to Gendo's desk, looking as bored and tired as ever (when he isn't Kozoman, that is).

"Oh, hello Shinji, my shameful mistake of a son. Write off any expensive battleships today?" grumbles Gendo, still in his signature pose as always.

"Umm...Rei has some news for you..." you say, quietly.

Rei steps forward, grinning from ear to ear.

"Ah, Rei. It's nice to see a child who isn't a complete failure at life. Oh I wish you were my daughter...Anyway, what have you come to tell me?" sighs your father.

Rei puts her arm around you and looks straight at him.

"Commander Ikari...me and Shinji-kun...are having a baby" she says, brimming with happiness.

Gendo judders in his seat. His glasses fall off of his face and hit the floor with a resounding clatter, revealing his now fully widened eyes. His jaw hits the desk with a thunk. His hands, usually steepled, fall to his sides. Slowly his jaw closes, and he clenches his teeth, looking a bit like this (sans glasses of course).

"...Y...Y..You...Having...W..W..W...With..." Gendo stutters, completely lost for words.

Rei smirks evilly. "You heard me. Me. Shinji. Baby. Having. Together. Problem?"

Gendo's face goes bright red, his face twists into a scowl, and steam starts gushing out of his ears. His face now resembles this:

Then he leaps off his chair and lands right in front of you.

YOU PATHETIC SLIMEBALL! YOU TOUCHED MY LITTLE Rei! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE MY SON, YOU PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A BOY! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GOT HER... he screams, going quite mad.

Your face now looks like this.

"I'm sorry, is there a problem? You should have known anyway, seeing as you were watching the whole thing through that hidden camera you keep in Rei's apartment..." you croon, mockingly.

"I know that, but I didn't think your meager sperm could even make it out of your miserable little body! You horrid little boy! Gah! I hate you I hate you I hate you!" Gendo yells, comically jumping up and down on the spot, a miniature thundercloud forming over his head.

Then he kneels in front of Rei. "Why, Rei, why? Why would you have a child with this little runt? There are whole Facebook groups dedicated to his destruction! He sucks! How could you betray me, Teh Uber-Pimp, Gendo Ikari, your creator, for...HIM?!?" he sobs.

Rei simply laughs. "Because 1, Shinji-sama is a million times sexier than you, 2, having a child with him is a good plot device to allow the author to give the CYOA a happy ending, and 3, having a child with you would be creepy on so many levels" she states, coldly. "You weren't thinking I was going to have a baby with you, did you?"

"No of course not!" shouts Gendo "But I need you to initiate Third Impact so I can reunite with my dead wife by fusing you with Adam! But it's going to be a lot more difficult to do that if you're having a baby! Imagine what the reader's parents would think!"

Then he takes a revolver from out of his pocket and aims it at you.

"Boy, first you write off the Mass Production Evangelions...Then you ruin my battleship...Then you steal my treasure...Then you have a party and don't invite me...And now, you get the closest thing I have to a worthy child pregnant. You die now, son!"

Then with an audible skwunch he is knocked unconscious as Kozoman hits him over the head with something.

"Aha! Thought you could try shooting your own son, did you? Good thing I have my SOAP IN A SOCK!" he cries, triumphantly.

"Kozoman! You saved my life!" you cheer. "How can I thank you?"

"No problem, kid! When justice is threatened, I will always be there to come to its rescue and cave in some skulls!" Kozoman replies, cheerfully.

He sighs and looks at Gendo, who is sprawled on the floor, unconscious. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to seat this mug back at his desk" he grumbles.

You leave Gendo's office, extremely amused and highly satisfied.

Eventually you are back at the apartment.

"So!" says Asuka "What do we do now?"

1: Watch the Ikki Tousen box set,
2: Take a bath,
3: Go swimming,
Or 4: Play a game of Super Smash Bros?

Well, I guess we haven't had a proper bath since before the party. No wonder Gendo got mad at Shinji, he probably stinks!

I choose 2.

The second.

2.

Watch the Ikki Tousen while you're in the bath. Logically, there's a TV in the bathroom. And bring some of the harem girls with you. And bring Tentacruel.

Watch the Ikki Tousen while you're in the bath. Logically, there's a TV in the bathroom. And bring some of the harem girls with you.

Exactly..

And bring Tentacruel.

[s]Go die in a fir-[/s] No, please, no.

2.) but with Nuke's addition.

I should note however, that Rei's genetics contain an unknown percentage of material from Yui. It is unfortunately highly likely that this child will be born incredibly deformed.

EVAfacepalm wrote:I should note however, that Rei's genetics contain an unknown percentage of material from Yui. It is unfortunately highly likely that this child will be born incredibly deformed.

She is all Yui. But since she's Lilith she could probably do some Bene Gesserit Genetic Mysticism and ensure that the child inherits no diseases.

Justacrazyguy wrote:No, please, no.

Come on! That pokemon needs to get in the water and have some fun!

Lavinius wrote:She is all Yui. But since she's Lilith she could probably do some Bene Gesserit Genetic Mysticism and ensure that the child inherits no diseases.

QFT. Also 2.

Psh, Tentacruel would have more fun in a full swimming pool rather than a tiny bath, I say 3.

BPES wrote:Psh, Tentacruel would have more fun in a full swimming pool rather than a tiny bath, I say 3.

This suggestion needs more Ikki Tousen.

EVAfacepalm wrote:2.) but with Nuke's addition.

I should note however, that Rei's genetics contain an unknown percentage of material from Yui. It is unfortunately highly likely that this child will be born incredibly deformed.

Fear not. This CYOA is far too silly to take things like logic and genetics into account. Also I am determined to give this a happy ending. Plus, a deformed baby, simply put, would not be funny.