[CYOA] Shinji's Silly Misadventures!

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Postby notalive » Mon Apr 08, 2013 8:23 am

View Original PostSquigsquasher wrote:I'm sorry...

Don't be! It's not your fault that some people just don't get Pokemon.
Personally, I love this arc :wink:

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Postby TomasJC » Mon Apr 08, 2013 1:46 pm

3 is the best option for the battle.
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Postby EVAfacepalm » Mon Apr 08, 2013 4:34 pm

Don't be sorry. I don't mean it's not good or funny, it's just that not having knowledge of the game's mechanics is making me wonder if I'm not getting something.

Keep doing the arc until you're done, this CYOA is technically a Republic.
According to Seele, Tang is the ultimate form of life. I guess that means the astronauts are committing genocide all the time then.

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Postby Squigsquasher » Tue Apr 09, 2013 6:14 am

Sorry for not updating for so long, my internet cuts out at midnight and I forgot to post the update. Fortunately I saved it, so here it is!

Thanks, EVAFacepalm. However, I will keep it relatively brief to avoid stagnation.


"TENTACRUEL! I choose...YOU!" you bellow to the heavens, shaking the foundations of the Earth with manliness.

Tentacruel floats forwards, waving her flippy floppy tentacles.

You declare her first move. "TENTACRUEL! Use-"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! GET IT OFF ME! GETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFF!!!!" screams Asuka.

You turn round and notice that Tentacruel is no longer in front of you. Instead, she is now grasping Rei, Mari and Asuka in her tentacles, and tickling them in highly inappropriate areas. It doesn't help that this starts playing for no reason.

"What is this perverted animal doing!?! It's stroking my glorious mammaries!" cries Mari, answering her own question.

"Shinji! STOP THIS THING! I DON'T WANT A REPEAT OF EPISODE 22! ONLY YOU AND Kaji MAY TOUCH ME THERE!" Asuka wails, as Tentacruel bops her on the nose playfully.

Rei, on the other hand, seems extremely pleased with the situation.

"Yes! Yes! Please continue with this course of action, airbound cephalopod, for it is highly arousing! Ooh, yes! More!" she squeaks happily.

Even the tentacled monstrosity is a little unnerved by this. Regardless, she keeps stroking anyway.

You look towards Zeruel (the Angel, not Kaworu's Shedninja).

"Zeruel! What do we do?"

The Angel just looks on with his jaw dropped even wider open than usual.

"...I...I am honestly lost for words..." shivers the monster, his toilet paper arms quivering.

Only Kaworu seems to maintain some kind of composure.

"Well...Tentacruel certainly doesn't seem to be trying to hurt them...I don't think she's angry, just...curious" he ponders. "There's no need to resort to drastic measures"

"Oh, please do not feel obligated to alter the present situation!" giggles Rei "This is almost as much fun as Shinji when he uses an umbrella to-"

"Yes, that's quite enough of that" mutters Kaworu "besides, I do not think your companions are enjoying themselves"

"MAKE IT STOP!!!!" screams Asuka.

"Ow! Don't be so rough!" moans Mari "My earlobes are not toys!"

"So, Shinji, what the hell are we going to do?" queries a rather stressed looking Kaworu.

1: Throw a Pokeball at Tentacruel,
2: Try and wake up the rest of your harem to deal with the monster using their various talents (BRS's cannon skills, Sailor Moon's magic, Miku's...Umm...Lovely voice?)
3: Try and persuade Kaworu to use his Angel powers,
Or 4: Wake up Ritsuko and get her to bring over Unit 01 to stop the creature, and finally properly feature the Evangelions in an Evangelion CYOA?
Here lies Squigsquasher.
2013-2017.

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Postby Justacrazyguy » Tue Apr 09, 2013 6:17 am

22
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Postby Lavinius » Tue Apr 09, 2013 8:51 am

2 because Asuka is the Second Child and so this will be the best way to save her!
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Postby notalive » Tue Apr 09, 2013 9:02 am

View Original PostSquigsquasher wrote:4: Wake up Ritsuko and get her to bring over Unit 01 to stop the creature, and finally properly feature the Evangelions in an Evangelion CYOA?

You say we're supposed to use a 40 to 200 meters tall monster to battle a Tentacruel? That sounds reasonable :lol:

I choose 4!

A visual comparison of the sizes:
SPOILER: Show
Image
[/spoiler]

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Postby MAGI_01 » Tue Apr 09, 2013 11:20 am

2!
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Postby Agentomega » Tue Apr 09, 2013 12:41 pm

4! You had me at size comparison XD
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Postby sephiros » Tue Apr 09, 2013 1:37 pm

4 if the Eva can have sunglasses.
Godzilla never had an AT Field!!
You dumbass, what the hell else do you think I'm talking about? We're gonna combine!!
If the demon is truly big, then we are no match for it. It's irrational. It's impossible. It's against my religion.
Your victory was a Deus Ex Machina, ergo that cake is a lie!

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Postby TomasJC » Tue Apr 09, 2013 1:49 pm

4.
"That's no way to treat an expensive musical instrument!" -Jim Steinman
"When I was growing up, there were two things that were unpopular in my house. One was me, and the other was my guitar." -Bruce Springsteen
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Postby EVAfacepalm » Tue Apr 09, 2013 2:05 pm

4.) It's about time for the Pallet Rifle, and thus Eva Unit 01 on its own without a berserk, to be useful.
According to Seele, Tang is the ultimate form of life. I guess that means the astronauts are committing genocide all the time then.

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Postby Squigsquasher » Tue Apr 09, 2013 3:16 pm

You turn to Kaworu. "I'll get Ritsuko to call in Unit 01 so I can stop Tentacruel and save the girls!" you tell him.

Kaworu's face becomes what one could only describe as lightly baffled, somewhat bemused, and a little bit worried.

"Shinji-kun...Don't you think that taking a psychic, skyscraper-sized, cyborg death machine against a floating, car-sized, inquisitive jellyfish is a little...excessive?" inquires a rather concerned sounding Kaworu.

You think for a few seconds.

"No, not really" you respond, before dashing off back into the apartment in a cloud of dust used to disguise the primitive and incredibly cheap animation.

Kaworu and Zeruel perform a synchronized facepalm.

You enter the apartment again, and make your way through the mess of party debris over to Ritsuko, who is currently spooning with Maya, their modesty only protected by Ritsuko's lab coat.

"Ritsuko! Wake up! I need your help!" you whisper in her ear, shaking her by the shoulder.

"Ahem...Ritsu-chan! Are you still alive?" you ask, as quietly as possible.

"Ritsuko! ARE YOU PAYING ATTENTION!?!?!" you shout, shaking her some more.

Unfortunately, in your attempt to wake her up, you accidentally dislodge her lab coat, revealing the naked bodies of Ritsuko and Maya.

You stand there for a few seconds, and are about to try waking them up again when you suddenly realize how similar the situation is to a certain scene from End of Evangelion.

You quickly draw the coat back over the pair in horror at the Deja Vu. You still remember how uncomfortable filming that scene was. The film crew had insisted that the film was to increase NERV's public profile and profitability, but you are convinced that it was made with the express purpose of humiliating the entire cast.

Asuka had been strangely understanding about the whole thing, even...that scene, but then her own sanity at the time had been...questionable. She kept insisting her surname was Shikinami and that someone called Mana Kirishima was trying to steal you away from her.

It was all rather odd.

Enough sidetracking, anyway. You go to Asuka's room and "borrow" her favourite megaphone. You line it up with Ritsuko's ear, and take a deep breath.

"PLEASE WAKE UP, YOU DEAF OLD CARPET MUNCHER!" you thunder through the megaphone, your voice amplified a thousand-fold by the power of the device.

For a few seconds, your deafening roar causes Tokyo-3 to rock on its foundations.

Even you are taken aback by the power of Asuka's megaphone. You hate to think what it sounds like when she uses it.

Ritsuko and Maya jolt awake, and the entire apartment block sways a little.

"...What? Oh, hello Shinji. What can I do for you?" the blonde asks, a little dazed.

"Hello. Sorry about that. Anyway, I need you to bring Unit 01 here. You see, Mari, Asuka and Rei are under attack by a Tentacruel, and I need Unit 01 to save them"

Ritsuko grins. "Perfect! Now I can test the Evangelion Deployment Hatch we had installed outside your apartment for just such an occasion! How convenient!" she giggles.

"Great" you respond "Now how long will it take to bring it here?"

"Around..." Ritsuko thinks "5 minutes?"

"Well, that's helpful. How are you going to bring it here?"

"Easy!" says Ritsuko "Like this!"

She pulls a device from out of her lab coat pocket and presses a big red button.

"Now, just wait for 5 minutes" she tells you, cuddling Maya.

5 minutes later, having informed the 3 girls that their salvation will soon be at hand, and you hear a colossal clunk.

"Ah! That will be Unit 01!" says Ritsuko. "Now hurry, and save those girls!"

You dash back outside to the waiting Evangelion.

"About time too!" shouts Asuka.

"...No need to rush...Ooooohhhh...." moans Rei, happily.

You quickly climb onto the entrance ladder and are soon inside the entry plug of Evangelion Unit 01, partially due to the author being too lazy to write the whole affair.

Unit 01 starts up, and you look down at the tentacled monster harrassing your companions.

"Right" you say to yourself "How to deal with this?"

1: The Pallet Rifle,
2: The Progressive Knife,
3: Your Evangelion's bare hands,
Or 4: The great big Gatling gun from Rebuild?
Here lies Squigsquasher.
2013-2017.

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Postby BPES » Tue Apr 09, 2013 3:21 pm

If you have the option to use a Gatling gun, I say use the Gatling gun, wasteful or not.

I say 4
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Postby sephiros » Tue Apr 09, 2013 3:39 pm

No kill like Overkill! 4
Godzilla never had an AT Field!!
You dumbass, what the hell else do you think I'm talking about? We're gonna combine!!
If the demon is truly big, then we are no match for it. It's irrational. It's impossible. It's against my religion.
Your victory was a Deus Ex Machina, ergo that cake is a lie!

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Postby Lavinius » Tue Apr 09, 2013 3:44 pm

2 because a progressive knife is very precise. It cuts on the molecular level, so we can make sure we don't accidently hurt Asuka.
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Postby EVAfacepalm » Tue Apr 09, 2013 4:15 pm

Oh my... I want to give the poor Pallet Rifle some love, I mean, that thing never turns out to be useful aside from Matarael.

However, I also agree with No kill like overkill up there :D

However again, I don't want to ruin Rei's fun, so maybe we could just use the knife to cut off the tentacles handling the other girls while leaving Rei to her... friend.

I vote for the option you forgot: 5.) The Operation Yashima Positron Rifle.

Now THAT is overkill!
Last edited by EVAfacepalm on Tue Apr 09, 2013 5:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.
According to Seele, Tang is the ultimate form of life. I guess that means the astronauts are committing genocide all the time then.

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Postby Paranoid » Tue Apr 09, 2013 4:58 pm

View Original Postsephiros wrote:No kill like Overkill! 4


Well said. 4!
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Postby MAGI_01 » Tue Apr 09, 2013 5:17 pm

4!
"If it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid." - Me
"Has anyone ever told you how pretty your eyes are?" - Akio's most famous line.
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Postby notalive » Tue Apr 09, 2013 5:24 pm

EVAfacepalm has the right idea, we should probably commence Operation Yashima 2.22. Anything less and that hideous monster would still survive :lol:

But seeing as there's no such option, I choose 4.


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