Even tho Mudkip is the most amazing Pokemon ever, I think we should leave him to deliver the final blow. Let's go with Metapod and go into full defense mode with Hardo... Harden

BTW, you totally should have put a Zubat in the team, just for the trolls.

3!

4 because its name amuses me.

3, because I find metapods amusingly useless.

33

now If I was playing to win, I'd start with cyndaquil because there's a 50% chance you'd get an advantage... But if we're talking for Fun then yeah, go for 3. let's use Metapod

Are we going by the game's logic or actual logic? Because if it's the latter then no animal is going to recover from being set on fire.

I don't care if in the games it doesn't hurt them. 2.) Have Cindy suppress 'em all with fire then move in for the ki... I mean attack that makes them faint!

Lets use Metapod.

You spin around on your heel, and then point at Kaworu, with a dramatic fiery background springing up.

"Metapod! I choose...YOU!" you roar, whilst a volcano explodes in the background.

Unfortunately, as dramatic and manly as your declaration is, it does not help poor Metapod much, who slowly shuffles forward, attempting to move by wriggling in its heavy, rigid shell.

"Gurgh...I'm too old for this crap-uhh, I mean, Metapod, Metapod!" grumbles the amusingly phallic Pokemon.

Kaworu shrugs. "In that case...Gyarados, I choose YOU!" he declares.

The great big fishy dragon thing slithers forward.

You begin your first turn, choosing a move to use.

"Metapod! Use...HARDON-I MEAN, UH, HARDEN!!"

Rei develops a noticable nosebleed, and flushes bright pink.

Metapod, groans, and stiffens, his carapace thickening and solidifying.

Everybody sniggers, including Gyarados.

"...Really? That has got to be the most pathetic move I've ever seen. And I evolved from a Magikarp, so that's saying something!" chortles the Gyarados.

"I didn't know you could talk..." says Mari.

"Umm, I mean, rawrrawrrawrrarwarr! Yep, definitely rawr!" the dragon thingy splutters.

Kaworu chuckles. "Gyarados, use Hyperbeam!"

Gyarados roars, and begins to coalesce a ball of energy in its mouth. Finally it sends out a blast of bluish-white fire at your hapless Metapod.

Fortunately, just as it's about to fire, the dragon starts giggling and it completely misses.

Kaworu frowns. "What? How on earth did you manage to miss?" he groans.

"Sorry..." Gyarados sighs, through fits of laughter "I just couldn't stop laughing...Harden...Snigger...Hee hee...I mean, rawr rawr rawr!"

Kaworu rolls his eyes. "Your turn, Shinji!"

You look at your Metapod's moveset.

"Metapod...use...TACKLE!" you declare.

Rei's face goes an even brighter shade of red, and she begins to smile ecstatically.

Metapod wiggles a bit, but doesn't actually do anything.

Mari begins laughing. "Silly Shinji, you have to help him attack! He can't do it by himself!"

You think for a few seconds as to how you can do this. Then a thought occurs.

You go forwards, pick up Metapod, and smack Gyarados in the face with the long-suffering Pokemon.

"Rawr! Ouch!" squeals Gyarados.

Everybody begins laughing again.

"PAAAAAAHHHAAHAHAHHAHAH! Oh, stupid Shinji, that has got to be the funniest thing you've ever done!" guffaws Asuka.

"I agree, that was highly amusing" giggles Rei.

Kaworu eventually stops laughing, and composes himself. "Gyarados, use HYPER BEAM! And don't screw it up this time!" he cries.

Once again, Gyarados begins to form a glowing ball of energy, and is about to fire...

...When he sneezes and completely misses again.

Kaworu simply facepalms whilst everybody else collapses in fits of laughter.

You get ready for your next turn, and use the only other move Metapod knows.

"Metapod! Use...STRING SHOT!" you bellow.

Metapod tenses up, and then expels a spurt of white goo from his nose, which harmlessly patters against Gyarados.

Rei squeaks with delight and promptly faints.

"Oh...Well that was disappointing..." you mutter.

Kaworu puts on a determined face, and declares his next move. "Gyarados...use HYPER BEAM! And for crying out loud, actually hit this time!"

Gyarados hunches up, and finally expels a breath of pure energy.

Sadly, this time it goes without incident and Metapod is hit by the full blast.

When the smoke has cleared, Metapod is now a small black heap of ash with eyes and a highly disapproving expression.

"Oh dear...Metapod! Are you alright?" you cry, rather distressed at Metapod's fate.

"Well, what do you think, genius?" snaps Metapod, miraculously still alive.

Gyarados looks a bit guilty. "Oh dear. I didn't mean to incinerate him. I'll pay take him to Nurse Joy if you want" he whimpers, sadly.

Kaworu smiles. "It's alright, he's suffered worse. Also, look at it this way Shinji, at least now he can't be shoved up your arse!"

You look solemnly at the pile of dust that was once Metapod. Well, is still Metapod, only in a more powdery, and considerably more annoyed, state.

Which Pokemon do you send out next?

1: Cyndaquil,
2: Mudkip,
3: Tentacruel,
Or 4: Surrender?

11

1!

the above two people have never played Pokemon it seems

go for 3. and do the monster mash XD

I have played Pokemon before!

I would go for 3... but seeing how we want comedy I have to make the choice of the one that's least likely to work


Just talked to Nuke... he chooses 2!

It's time to awaken the inner Pokemon nerd!

We cannot use Cyndaquil, that would be a joke. Gyarados takes half the damage from water-type moves. My best bet would be to choose Tentacruel and use a poison or normal-type move.

Let's go with 3 then.

3 but use it on Asuka, Mari, and Rei.

Sure, I'll go with Lavinius on this and choose 3.

Honestly, I never really was into Pokemon. This entire Pokemon battle arc is just confusing me.

Screw it! I'm changing my vote to 3!

Lavinius used Awesome Suggestion! It's super effective!
Inner Pokemon Nerd fainted!

Yeah, screw it. I'm changing my vote to his version of 3.

Lavinius wrote:3 but use it on Asuka, Mari, and Rei.

Oh yes, indeed.

EVAfacepalm wrote:Sure, I'll go with Lavinius on this and choose 3.

Honestly, I never really was into Pokemon. This entire Pokemon battle arc is just confusing me.

I'm sorry...

I just thought it would be funny...