[CYOA] Shinji's Silly Misadventures!

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Postby TomasJC » Tue Mar 12, 2013 12:48 pm

1.
"That's no way to treat an expensive musical instrument!" -Jim Steinman
"When I was growing up, there were two things that were unpopular in my house. One was me, and the other was my guitar." -Bruce Springsteen
"Alcohol is humanity's friend... Can I abandon a friend?" -Yang Wen-li
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Postby Squigsquasher » Tue Mar 12, 2013 1:37 pm

You leap backwards in Dai-Kaizoku-Sen-Gan, onto the very tip of the prow of the Girlfriend of Steel.

You take adeep breath, and begin to roar, as a flaming aura surrounds you.

"CERTAIN KIIIIIILLL!!!" you bellow, leaping into the air.

Wings unfold from the back of Dai-Kaizoku-Sen-Gan, made of sails, and displaying your flag.

"REI-IS-THE-SEXIEST-THING-ALIVE-AND-GUESS-WHO-SHE'S-SLEEPING-WITH...IIIIIIMPAAAAAACT!!!!" you all scream in unison.

The Dai-Kaizoku-Sen-Gan curls into a ball, and rockets into the control tower, colliding with it with an almighty explosion.

The amount of sheer awesome is so overwhelming that the explosion explodes.

When the smoke clears, Dai-Kaizoku-Sen-Gan is in ship mode again, only now it is replacing the top of the control tower of the Girlfriend of Steel.

Asuka, Misato, Kaji, Pen-Pen, Gendo, Ritsuko, Maya, and the bridge bunnies all stare in complete slack-jawed shock at your combination routine.

"DAI-SUSAMAJI-KAIZOKU-SENKAN-GAN...COMPLETE!!!" you shout at the top of your voice.

The entire ship has changed to Unit 01's colour scheme. It is largely purple, with bits of green and a few orange parts. Your pirate ship, the former This Is (Not) a Pirate Ship forms the "head" of the monster. The nameplate now reads both "DAI-SUSAMAJI-KAIZOKU-SENKAN-GAN" and "THIS IS (NOT) A BATTLESHIP".

The ship has also sprouted arms, a gigantic flag depicting an SDAT player and crossbones, and the This Is (Not) a Pirate Ship has a face on the prow.

Gendo stares at you coldly.

"Son...You are so, so dead when I get my hands on you" he growls.

Then Ritsuko kicks him.

"Don't threaten Shinji again..." she quietly threatens, stroking her spanner she is wielding.

"AllllllRIGHT!" Nice going Shinji! Yuu Ah Numbah Wun!" cheers Misato, in broken Engrish.

"Shinji, you have successfully wupped the Commander's sorry ass" Rei whispers happily "Now, we shall proceed to find the treasure"

"Absolutely!" you reply, overflowing with victorious feelings. "Onward, fellow pirates!"

"YAAAARRRRRR!!!" cheers everyone except Gendo.

"Yo-ho-motherfucking-ho" grumbles Gendo, sad at having his battleship trashed.

"Waark!" squawks Pen-Pen, throwing an empty beer can at the miserable commander.

Several minutes later, with the help of Mari and Kaworu, who were unable to find the treasure on their own, your searching brings you to the spot on the map you were looking for. This Is (Not) a Pirate Ship detaches from This Is (Not) a Battleship temporarily to get to the exact location.

"Oh yeah, we're here!" squees Kensuke "We're going to dig up the treasure!"

"I wonder what's gonna be in there? Gold? Ancient swords? Gemstones? A complete Soul of Chogokin SPEC Evangelion collection?" Touji says excitedly, bouncing up and down.

"Hopefully a slipper so I can spank my disobedient son" mumbles Gendo, before getting a smack round the back of the head from Ritsuko with her spanner.

"Excellent smack, Ristuko-sama!" squeaks Maya.

"Oh, I'm good at smacking..." says Ritsuko, suggestively, winking at Maya.

"Ahem. Please, less yuri, more treasure" mutters Asuka.

"OK. Rei, pass me the trowel!" you call to Rei, as she passes you her favourite digging implement.

Half an hour of digging later, and the treasure chest is out of the ground.

You insert the crowbar in the crack between the lid and the chest, to reveal...

...A veritable hoard of all sorts of goodies, including gold and silver coins, precious metal ingots, gemstones, jewelry, swords, flintlock pistols, chocolate, lolipops, cream soda, and a huge amount of Evangelion merchandise.

"Wow" says Kaji "That's a lot of treasure"

Suddenly, you hear a pistol cock.

"Step aside from the treasure, and only Shinji gets hurt" growls Gendo, holding his revolver at Kaji.

Then Maya hits Gendo round the back of the head with Ritsuko's spanner.

"Ouch..." moans Gendo as he falls to the floor, clutching his head.

"Not bad" say Ritsuko "But you have much to learn, Maya-chan"

"Anyway, we need to give 25% of this treasure to Yoko to pay off the debt for the engine" you tell your colleagues, much to their disappointment.

Fortunately, when you get back to Yoko's store, she tells you she was so impressed by your performance that she is reducing the fee to 10%. She kisses Kensuke on the cheek, causing him to faint again, says thanks you for the treasure, and you all say goodbye.

"So" whispers Rei, who is still in her bondage outfit "what do you want to do tonight?"

1: Invite Rei round to your apartment for the night and have a relaxed, romantic evening,
2: Go for dinner with Misato, Rei and Asuka,
Or 3: Invite Rei, Kaworu, Mari, Touji, Kensuke, Hikari, Kaji, Ritsuko, Maya, the bridge bunnies, Yoko and Fuyutsuki (who is currently having his back fixed, hence his absence from the story, which totally has nothing to do with me forgetting to write him in) round for a party at your apartment?
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Postby Lavinius » Tue Mar 12, 2013 1:43 pm

Yuh ah numbah two!
For harem ending.
Last edited by Lavinius on Tue Mar 12, 2013 1:58 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Postby Agentomega » Tue Mar 12, 2013 1:57 pm

View Original PostSquigsquasher wrote:"THIS IS (NOT) A BATTLESHIP"


:lol:

Hm hm, such good choices... One is very tempting, especially given how you tactfully pointed out Rei's garb just before the choices... But 3 has much potential.

I'm gonna have to go with 3. I presume Misato and Asuka are going to be there because it's their apartment as well hyes?
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Postby Squigsquasher » Tue Mar 12, 2013 2:00 pm

View Original PostAgentomega wrote::lol:

Hm hm, such good choices... One is very tempting, especially given how you tactfully pointed out Rei's garb just before the choices... But 3 has much potential.

I'm gonna have to go with 3. I presume Misato and Asuka are going to be there because it's their apartment as well hyes?


Of course. :asuka_happy:

Safe to say expect :misato_service:
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Postby MAGI_01 » Tue Mar 12, 2013 2:11 pm

3.
"If it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid." - Me
"Has anyone ever told you how pretty your eyes are?" - Akio's most famous line.
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Postby Nuclear Lunchbox » Tue Mar 12, 2013 2:13 pm

3. More girls just means bigger harem.

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Postby BPES » Tue Mar 12, 2013 2:27 pm

3... if only because it'd be one heckuva party
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Postby notalive » Tue Mar 12, 2013 3:27 pm

3

It's party time!

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Postby Nuclear Lunchbox » Tue Mar 12, 2013 3:29 pm

He's got a point. Number four is supposed to be the best option. Where is four? :crybaby:

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Postby Squigsquasher » Tue Mar 12, 2013 3:41 pm

View Original PostNuclear Lunchbox wrote:He's got a point. Number four is supposed to be the best option. Where is four? :crybaby:


In all honesty?

I couldn't think of a 4.

Besides, it does break the curse of 4 always being the selected option. -o-;
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Postby BPES » Tue Mar 12, 2013 3:49 pm

Here's an option 4.

4. Attempt to make up with your father through the power of manliness and friendship you have discovered during this adventure against the backdrop of a setting sun!


:lol:
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Postby notalive » Tue Mar 12, 2013 3:53 pm

View Original PostNuclear Lunchbox wrote:He's got a point. Number four is supposed to be the best option. Where is four? :crybaby:

It seems you've caught my post just before I edited it :P
But yeah, I guess we'd all love to have a fourth option just to contemplate about it's alleged superiority :hahaha:

EDIT: That option 4... :lol: :lol: :lol:

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Postby Squigsquasher » Tue Mar 12, 2013 4:08 pm

View Original PostBPES wrote:Here's an option 4.

4. Attempt to make up with your father through the power of manliness and friendship you have discovered during this adventure against the backdrop of a setting sun!


:lol:


NO.
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Postby Nuclear Lunchbox » Tue Mar 12, 2013 4:53 pm

View Original PostSquigsquasher wrote:NO.

Pleeeeeeease? :asuka_sad: I'm lying, I really just wanted an excuse to use that face in a post. Bring on the harem.

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Postby Justacrazyguy » Tue Mar 12, 2013 6:24 pm

...

1
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Postby TomasJC » Wed Mar 13, 2013 12:49 pm

As tempting as 1 and 2 are, this story needs more Kozoman. 3 it is.
"That's no way to treat an expensive musical instrument!" -Jim Steinman
"When I was growing up, there were two things that were unpopular in my house. One was me, and the other was my guitar." -Bruce Springsteen
"Alcohol is humanity's friend... Can I abandon a friend?" -Yang Wen-li
"...See you on the Dark Side Of The Moon~"

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Postby notalive » Wed Mar 13, 2013 1:07 pm

View Original PostTomasJC wrote:As tempting as 1 and 2 are, this story needs more Kozoman. 3 it is.

Kozoman! I completly forgot about him being at the party...

Which means I'm changing my vote from 3 to 3 with additional Kozoman :D

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Postby Nuclear Lunchbox » Wed Mar 13, 2013 1:17 pm

Three appears to be the overwhelming majority here.

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Postby Squigsquasher » Wed Mar 13, 2013 3:33 pm

View Original PostTomasJC wrote:As tempting as 1 and 2 are, this story needs more Kozoman. 3 it is.


Image

I think we have a winner...


"I was wondering..." you say, hesitantly "Do you think we could have a celebratory party round our apartment?"

"That sounds like a brilliant idea!" says Misato cheerily "Who were you thinking of inviting?"

"Well..." you say, thinking about it "I was thinking Rei, Kaworu, Mari, Touji, Kensuke, Hikari, Kaji, Ritsuko, Maya, the bridge bunnies, Yoko and Fuyutsuki..."

"GEH!?!??!" shrieks Asuka. "We'll never fit that many people in the apartment! And you just copied the list from the end of the last post! Stupid, copypasting pervert!"

"...Pervert? What?" you reply, puzzled.

Misato is smiling from ear to ear. "Excellent! I'll get the booze ready, you get cooking!" she says happily.

"Now just hold on a minute!" shouts Asuka "If we're letting Shinji do the cooking, we need to make sure that he doesn't repeat the incident from the start of the CYOA! I'm going to be watching over him whilst he cooks!"

"Umm...OK..." you say, rather worried by Asuka's sudden grumpiness.

Soon, you arrive back at the apartment with Misato, Asuka and Rei.

You open the fridge and discover there is fuck all inside it. Probably just as well, as the last meal you made using the ingredients got you a broken jaw.

"There's nothing left in the fridge, we're going to have to get some more food for the party" you call out.

"Really? Oh, OK! Let's head over to SEELEsbury's and get some more stuff!" replies Misato.

A few minutes later, with this playing in the background for some reason, and you arrive at SEELEsbury's, the definitive post-2I supermarket.

You enter the supermarket with Misato, Asuka and Rei close behind. "After that ludicrous musical refrain, this had better be good" you mutter to yourself.

Where to look first? (Key word here is first; we'll probably visit them all)

1: The frozen food aisle,
2: The fresh fruit and vegetables aisle,
3: The meat section,
4: The drinks section,
5: The desserts section,
Or 6: The films section? (For some reason Laserdiscs and Betamax are back in vogue. Don't ask why, probably for the same reason Asuka is still playing a Sega Saturn in 2015)
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