As for Shinji, if a drunk driver ran you over and you lost an eye, would you blame the guy in the driver's seat, or the socioeconomic factors that put him there?
In any event, I don't want to see any more cringing matyrdom on Asuka's part. Her inexplicable goodwill towards humanity in 2.0 was bad enough.
The drunk driver analogy can't really be applied in this case, what with mysterious beings and paramilitary organizations and shadwoy conspiracies at work. You seem to be singling out Shinji as the one and only one responsible for what happened to Asuka, when that is really not the case. Plus, not putting Shinji at the top of her "things to murder" list doesn't automatically include being totally complacent and cool with what happened. Yeah, yeah, i know (all too well) that Shinji is the real focus of this crummy affair so ultimately, everything has to tie into him somehow, but what if,... things won't, just this once?
It's not really possible for Shinji to be both a creep who saves or kills his co-workers based on hotness points and a hero who attacks Zeruel "So no one else will have to die! Rocket punch!"
His motivations for trying his best to spare Rei from the fate Asuka suffered earlier aren't as pure and noble as some want to make it out to be, though. His biggest reason to do so is to avoid feeling pain, again. This is literally handed to the audience on a silver plate, this time in the form of dialog: he whines quite a bit about how "this world causes him pain and WAAAH!", and later, he proclaims that he "doesn't care about this world". Rei is just a convenient outlet for his frustrations and desires in this case.
What i'm trying to say is, trying to protect another life to avoid pain doesn't really make him a hero. He is more like a sensitive, emotional, sappy douchebag.
She confronts exactly the same issues as Shinji, only in an even more boring and forced form - right down to having the portable game player, she's aping Shinji on the surface to disguise the fact that all the important parts of Soryu's character have been choked out of her.
Eh, internal similarity between Shinji and Asuka is nothing new, though i agree that having them set up as externally similar takes a lot of the fun out of Asuka's character. I actually hope that from here on, Re!Shinji and Re!Asuka will diverge, instead of converging. I wouldn't mind if Shikinami were to diverge further from Soryu too, if the direction she goes won't be a total bore.
Aslo, one more point about why i don't want Asuka to be only be able to think about offing Shinji: come on, as i said earlier, almost everything already revolves around the git. I fear that Rei will bawl her eyes out when (if) Shinji turns his back on her, and i don't think there's anything that will save us from another "i failed to be a mother, boo hoo hoo" soliloquy from Misato.
Lets think about Asuka springing back to life in Q: her enviroments and circumstances will be radically different from how she remebers them. I think it's one of the safer bets to make that Seele will directly overtake Nerv (if Nerv as such still exists at all) very early on in the movie.
So she wakes up, and thinks "Hey, what happened, why am i feeling [insert something caused by Bardiel here], why is this place busted, why is the city abandoned, who are these new people at the base, who's that weird albino kid babbling nonsense, who's that weird chick with the glasses, why does my Eva look like it was shat out by Godzilla and ASFDSFGSDSASDAS Shinji, YOUR BLOOD SHALL BE MINE!". Seriously, how one track minded can a girl get?
"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it is too dark to read."