The "lol Twilight/Insane Twilight Fans" Thread

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Postby CorporalChaos » Thu Dec 03, 2009 12:16 am

Defectron wrote:Hey everybody! Guess what!

http://chud.com/articles/articles/21684/1/THE-DEVIN039S-ADVOCATE-WHY-BREAKING-DAWN-MUST-BE-MADE-INTO-A-MOVIE/Page1.html

Oh my god, I laughed myself nearly unconscious reading that.
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Postby konfunoodle » Thu Dec 03, 2009 12:59 am

i finally saw, Where the Wild Things Are, the night New moon came out. It was awesome cause my gf and I were practically the only ones in the theater.
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Postby Uriel Septim VII » Thu Dec 03, 2009 1:44 am

Too add more rage to the lynching crowd, the success of New Moon and its expansion into more theaters may be the reason why The Road was downgraded to a limited release.
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Postby Sharaz Destler » Thu Dec 03, 2009 11:47 am



There's an ad for an upcoming "Twilight" convention within that article.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
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Postby schismatics » Thu Dec 03, 2009 12:47 pm

Uriel Septim VII wrote:Too add more rage to the lynching crowd, the success of New Moon and its expansion into more theaters may be the reason why The Road was downgraded to a limited release.


NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! :rage:

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Postby FreakyFilmFan4ever » Thu Dec 03, 2009 2:41 pm

Uriel Septim VII wrote:Too add more rage to the lynching crowd, the success of New Moon and its expansion into more theaters may be the reason why The Road was downgraded to a limited release.

:wife: LEMME AT 'EM!!!!!!! I CAN TAKE 'EM!!!! I'LL SHOW 'EM!!!!! THEY CAN'T JUST DO THAT TO US!!!!!!

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Postby Joseph the PRPD » Thu Dec 03, 2009 2:57 pm

They just did. Oh snap!
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Postby Holy Diver » Thu Dec 03, 2009 4:57 pm

cyharding wrote:I have heard often that the children are our future...we're fucked, aren't we?


No. We're fucked in the ass with children like this.

Seriously, we shoud just let the Chinese have their way with us at this point.
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Postby Omegagouki » Thu Dec 03, 2009 8:04 pm

Holy Diver wrote:Seriously, we should just let the Jihadists have their way with us at this point.


Fixed.
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Postby Uriel Septim VII » Fri Dec 04, 2009 12:33 am

Holy Diver wrote:Seriously, we should just let the Jovians have their way with us at this point.


FIX'D.
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Postby MugwumpHasNoLiver » Sun Dec 13, 2009 6:22 am

I think this is a good place, because I don't think a new thread is necessary, so . . .

I decided it was my duty as a pretentious literary fuck to mock Twilight in a way more eloquent than and other random internet guy can be bothered do, so I decided that the next installment of whatever BS I'm writing is going to focus squarely on mocking Twilight. Having decided that watching the movie is insufficient, because I'm going to need examples of Meyer's prose in order to mock it, I've decided to subject myself to the book. I borrowed a copy from a high school friend and decided to create a record of my torture by tape-recording myself reading the damn thing.

To my complete amazement, so far is the book isn't terrible. Definitely whiny and melodramatic, but Meyer's got the voice of an annoying high school girl down perfectly. I'm sure once the actual part gets started, it'll be shittier than a septic tank fucking an outhouse, but it's surprising bearable. Perhaps it's only because I was mocking the whole thing all the way through, and that was fun for me, but who knows? I'll leave these here, if anyone's interested. I don't think the first one is that funny, but the second two are riddled with my little brothers interrupting me and some really melodramatic acting on my part. The first was recorded while I was on the toilet, just saying. (You can hear my Grandmother kicking me out, if you listen closely).

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Postby Starasp » Sun Dec 13, 2009 1:35 pm

Twilight fails. Utterly fails. I told a Twilight fan to go read Dracula, and she said it was BAD. I almost had a brain aneurysm.

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Postby BrikHaus » Wed Dec 16, 2009 4:07 pm

MugwumpHasNoLiver wrote:To my complete amazement, so far is the book isn't terrible.

You are now dead to me.
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Postby MatrixRefugee » Wed Dec 16, 2009 4:41 pm

BrikHaus wrote:
MugwumpHasNoLiver wrote:To my complete amazement, so far is the book isn't terrible.

You are now dead to me.


Aw, come on, it's not like Mug's going "OMG!!~! SQUEE!!111 BEZT BUK EVAH!!11111"
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Postby LiLi » Wed Dec 16, 2009 5:34 pm

@Mug: In my mind, Bella will forever have your voice...

The prose sounds honestly terrible, but I'm enjoying the voice acting. :smirk:
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Postby Gendo'sPapa » Thu Dec 17, 2009 6:01 pm

Just some quick points I want to throw into the discussion-

Twilight Fandom may be stupid.

BUT take the tunnel glasses off. It's no more stupid than most other franchise fanbases out there. Twilight may be a horrid story (I will never argue that) but it reaches out to the audience it's geared for, young girls who are in love with THE IDEA of being in love. Are they goofy, embarrassing, and a bit misguided in their affections and waste of attention? Yes. But how is this any different from guys building their own Star Wars furniture, or learning Vulcan, OR learning every minute detail down to speculation of what makes an Evangelion work or dressing up in costumes like your favorite character and making yourself a jackass by constantly posting pictures of yourself EVERYWHERE?
Franchises exist to please a certain audience and while those audience go about their affections in different ways (STAR WARS fans stay virgins and mock TWILIGHT fans so they feel superior; TWILIGHT fans go out, fuck a guy like Sparkly Vamp and learn dating a talentless vacuum of an individual is not the right thing to do) the whole point is for their audience to get enthralled in the characters. Let the Twilight fans have that.

I mean the Evangelion fanbase is looked upon as over educated fucktards who like to shout out their own opinions in long winded rants without self editing themselves and (as I myself am proving in this post) are pretty accurate. You go to some discussions on this site and whether it's "Shinji would be better as a chick taking it up the vag" OR "Let me give you a longwinded essay concerning my view on this one film I saw because this is the only place people will actually listen to me act like a bland film history textbook" the fan affection and stereotypes can be seen. Hell, I give the Twilight fans some credit for having a vocal fanbase at least because the most vocal Evangelion fan are message board nazi's and some scrawny douchebag at anime conventions (which are the epitome of fans acting like idiots) who dresses up as a Frank Miller character and keeps yelling for a "Revolution" (....uh, mixing up your stories there man...)

Anywho, this doesn't stop me from laughing at the series. Stephanie Meyer is a crazy Mormon with horrid vocabulary and a backwards view on the world in general, and I do find the whole plot of Breaking Dawn hilarious. Still, shrug it off. Twilight is enjoyed by it's audience and that's all that matters. Shouldn't take it to heart or go so far out to mock it. It's weird to laugh at the Twilight fanbase and then hop into writing an Evangelion meets Gundam Wing/Gurren Lagann crossover fan fiction story, or scouring for more Shinjiko pics, or getting to work on your next Shinji plugsuit so you can look even more self-centered, or buying yet another useless wall scroll of a half naked 14 year old animated chick to plaster on your wall.

Now excuse me, I have to go see if the 5 inch Mari Illustrious Makinami figure is available for a decent price on eBay.

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Postby Uriel Septim VII » Thu Dec 17, 2009 6:47 pm

Gendo'sPapa wrote:I mean the Evangelion fanbase is looked upon as over educated fucktards who like to shout out their own opinions in long winded rants without self editing themselves


Well, some of us are laconic and vague and struggle to come up with more than a paragraph's worth of text, and are pretty anal-retentive about previewing our messages for flaws before we post them.
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Postby MugwumpHasNoLiver » Thu Dec 17, 2009 7:14 pm

MatrixRefugee wrote:
BrikHaus wrote:
MugwumpHasNoLiver wrote:To my complete amazement, so far is the book isn't terrible.

You are now dead to me.


Aw, come on, it's not like Mug's going "OMG!!~! SQUEE!!111 BEZT BUK EVAH!!11111"


I suppose I should have said it's 'not completely terrible'. It's by no stretch of the imagination good; so far it's nothing but Bella whining and making goo-goo eyes at Edward, but I sort of admire that. It doesn't make for an engaging or memorable experience, but as far as authenticity goes, I'm a little bit impressed. This is how High School girls act! It's doing something right! But that can only sustain a book for so long, and, like I said, once the 'relationship' actually starts and the vampires come out, I'm betting it will loose any redeeming value.

I also haven't touched it since I posted the above. I felt drained, exhausted. Maybe it's time the torture continues.

LiLi wrote:@Mug: In my mind, Bella will forever have your voice...


Thanks. May I ask which one you've listened to?
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Postby Eva Yojimbo » Thu Dec 17, 2009 10:43 pm

Gendo'sPapa wrote:Twilight Fandom may be stupid. BUT take the tunnel glasses off. It's no more stupid than most other franchise fanbases out there... I mean the Evangelion fanbase is looked upon as over educated fucktards who like to shout out their own opinions in long winded rants without self editing themselves and (as I myself am proving in this post) are pretty accurate... Hell, I give the Twilight fans some credit for having a vocal fanbase at least because the most vocal Evangelion fan are message board nazi's and some scrawny douchebag at anime conventions.
I think there's a vast difference in horrid works of fiction that draw in a ton of idiots that make up the fanbase based solely on some archetypal and fetishistic fantasizing and generally great works of fiction/art that draw in a ton of intellects/aesthetes that make up the fanbase based on a combination of a personal attachment with the work combined with an intellectual appreciation of it. If we're just going to lump all fanbases together we might as well throw the scholars who spend their life studying Shakespeare in the mix.

Perhaps NGE's fandom isn't simply full of egghead scholars, but it's hardly scraping the bottom of the barrel like the Twilight series is and just by looking at the depth of discussion on these boards - both on topic and off - it's painfully clear that there are people that appreciate the series on a deeper level than "OMG! THE CHARACTERS ARE HOT AND I WANT TO BONE THEM/THEM TO BONE ME!". I can respect works like Star Wars and LotR that are full of highly intelligent people, many of whom go on to turn their fantasy obsessions into careers (look at all the scientists who were Star Wars fans groiwng up), but I just don't see any artistic value in a work like Twilight nor any substance or depth of appreciation amongst their fans.
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Postby Xard » Fri Dec 18, 2009 4:58 am

I approve Gendo'sPapa's post

Jimbo wrote:I think there's a vast difference in horrid works of fiction that draw in a ton of idiots that make up the fanbase based solely on some archetypal and fetishistic fantasizing and generally great works of fiction/art that draw in a ton of intellects/aesthetes that make up the fanbase based on a combination of a personal attachment with the work combined with an intellectual appreciation of it. If we're just going to lump all fanbases together we might as well throw the scholars who spend their life studying Shakespeare in the mix.


:rei_meh:

Men of intellect read Kant's Critique of Pure Reason, men of aesthetes are actually out there creating aesthetic experiences. They don't fap forever about books, films, music or - worst of all - animus

Really, to me all kinds of fans are in final analysis irrational because being fan of something means reaction/relationship to work is irrational


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