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^
sounds like an intereting sort of religious allegory there, with a twist. Sort of rminds me of a short by Neil Gaiman that had a guy in hell go through all sorts of tortures, eventually becoming filled with bitterness and hatred for his former self, only to somehow loop around in time and become his own torturer.
sounds like an intereting sort of religious allegory there, with a twist. Sort of rminds me of a short by Neil Gaiman that had a guy in hell go through all sorts of tortures, eventually becoming filled with bitterness and hatred for his former self, only to somehow loop around in time and become his own torturer.
Rest In Peace ~ 1978 - 2017
"I'd consider myself a realist, alright? but in philosophical terms I'm what's called a pessimist. It means I'm bad at parties." - Rust Cohle
"Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize that half of 'em are stupider than that." - George Carlin
"The internet: It's like a training camp for never amounting to anything." - Oglaf
"I think internet message boards and the like are dangerous." - Anno
"I'd consider myself a realist, alright? but in philosophical terms I'm what's called a pessimist. It means I'm bad at parties." - Rust Cohle
"Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize that half of 'em are stupider than that." - George Carlin
"The internet: It's like a training camp for never amounting to anything." - Oglaf
"I think internet message boards and the like are dangerous." - Anno
- Eva Yojimbo
- Redbeard
- Age: 38
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- Joined: Feb 17, 2007
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- Gender: Male
Hehe, thanks for the compliments man. I definitely try to make my poems fairly rich and open to interpretation (even when I'm being highly symbolic and allusive). The first was pretty much written stream-of-conscious with no intended meaning, the second has a more definite meaning but I wrote it pretty stream-of-conscious too. The third is more carefully planned and isn't as dense as some of my other sonnets...MugwumpHasNoLiver wrote:Those are some nice poems, Jimbo. Really literary with some sophisticated imagery; really grandiose, heaven and hell-type stuff. The words sound pretty, but I really don't know what any of them are about. The first one seems to be nostalgic, the second contemplative and the last one guilty. Or maybe not? This might all just be my sleep deprivation talking. I'll need to take a more in-depth and attentive look at them later.
Lyrical poems are a perfectly valid form of poetry that could also be put to music.MugwumpHasNoLiver wrote:I don't even know if this can really be a called a 'poem', I'd intended it to be a song,
I will do so ASAP.MugwumpHasNoLiver wrote:Read at your own risk.
Cinelogue & Forced Perspective Cinema
^ Writing as Jonathan Henderson ^
We're all adrift on the stormy seas of Evangelion, desperately trying to gather what flotsam can be snatched from the gale into a somewhat seaworthy interpretation so that we can at last reach the shores of reason and respite. - ObsessiveMathsFreak
Jimbo has posted enough to be considered greater than or equal to everyone, and or synonymous with the concept of 'everyone'. - Muggy
I've seen so many changeful years, / to Earth I am a stranger grown: / I wander in the ways of men, / alike unknowing and unknown: / Unheard, unpitied, unrelieved, / I bear alone my load of care; / For silent, low, on beds of dust, / Lie all that would my sorrows share. - Robert Burns' Lament for James
^ Writing as Jonathan Henderson ^
We're all adrift on the stormy seas of Evangelion, desperately trying to gather what flotsam can be snatched from the gale into a somewhat seaworthy interpretation so that we can at last reach the shores of reason and respite. - ObsessiveMathsFreak
Jimbo has posted enough to be considered greater than or equal to everyone, and or synonymous with the concept of 'everyone'. - Muggy
I've seen so many changeful years, / to Earth I am a stranger grown: / I wander in the ways of men, / alike unknowing and unknown: / Unheard, unpitied, unrelieved, / I bear alone my load of care; / For silent, low, on beds of dust, / Lie all that would my sorrows share. - Robert Burns' Lament for James
- CorporalChaos
- Test Subject
- Posts: 2945
- Joined: Sep 04, 2006
- Location: I'm actually in a demon
Hmmmm...if we're actually going to show off some of our stuff...I guess I' show off what I wanted to do in comic/book form.
DO IT. Seriously, that is an awesome idea you have there. I really like these kind of dystopian future-settings, where there is some sort of Kafkaesque bureaucracy lording over all life. There is something really cool about them and the way you can juxtapose the individual against these superhuman forces.
Of course, it is always easier said than done; I am also working a plot similar in ambition, but after over a year of planning and conceptual work, I've haven't gotten anything truly set in stone yet.
- schismatics
- Potential Pilot
- Age: 34
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- Location: Killinois
- Gender: Male
LeoXiao wrote:Hmmmm...if we're actually going to show off some of our stuff...I guess I' show off what I wanted to do in comic/book form.
DO IT. Seriously, that is an awesome idea you have there. I really like these kind of dystopian future-settings, where there is some sort of Kafkaesque bureaucracy lording over all life. There is something really cool about them and the way you can juxtapose the individual against these superhuman forces.
Aww thanks. I've actually been working out the bugs in the story for about 1-2 years now...I have 3-4 chapters actually written and I've been meaning actually get going on this for some time now.
- Eva Yojimbo
- Redbeard
- Age: 38
- Posts: 8005
- Joined: Feb 17, 2007
- Location: Somewhere Over the Rainbo
- Gender: Male
Here's another sonnet:
SPOILER: Show
A Day in Life
The silent rising sun adorns the dew
As eaglets drink the milky mist in nests
Caressed in ease by Mother Nature’s breasts
On mountainous summits meeting days anew.
The noontide touches on the walking shores
And leaves this solid shell for open skies
To win or lose itself in truth and lies
For peace and life in pregnant inner wars.
My mistress moon communes with sleepy seas
And speaks through mouths of clouds and wordless winds
That creep through minds that never comprehend
Cabals relating through conspiring trees.
For blind and deaf, the old and young, the dumb and wise:
Eternal life and death just pass before their eyes.
The silent rising sun adorns the dew
As eaglets drink the milky mist in nests
Caressed in ease by Mother Nature’s breasts
On mountainous summits meeting days anew.
The noontide touches on the walking shores
And leaves this solid shell for open skies
To win or lose itself in truth and lies
For peace and life in pregnant inner wars.
My mistress moon communes with sleepy seas
And speaks through mouths of clouds and wordless winds
That creep through minds that never comprehend
Cabals relating through conspiring trees.
For blind and deaf, the old and young, the dumb and wise:
Eternal life and death just pass before their eyes.
Cinelogue & Forced Perspective Cinema
^ Writing as Jonathan Henderson ^
We're all adrift on the stormy seas of Evangelion, desperately trying to gather what flotsam can be snatched from the gale into a somewhat seaworthy interpretation so that we can at last reach the shores of reason and respite. - ObsessiveMathsFreak
Jimbo has posted enough to be considered greater than or equal to everyone, and or synonymous with the concept of 'everyone'. - Muggy
I've seen so many changeful years, / to Earth I am a stranger grown: / I wander in the ways of men, / alike unknowing and unknown: / Unheard, unpitied, unrelieved, / I bear alone my load of care; / For silent, low, on beds of dust, / Lie all that would my sorrows share. - Robert Burns' Lament for James
^ Writing as Jonathan Henderson ^
We're all adrift on the stormy seas of Evangelion, desperately trying to gather what flotsam can be snatched from the gale into a somewhat seaworthy interpretation so that we can at last reach the shores of reason and respite. - ObsessiveMathsFreak
Jimbo has posted enough to be considered greater than or equal to everyone, and or synonymous with the concept of 'everyone'. - Muggy
I've seen so many changeful years, / to Earth I am a stranger grown: / I wander in the ways of men, / alike unknowing and unknown: / Unheard, unpitied, unrelieved, / I bear alone my load of care; / For silent, low, on beds of dust, / Lie all that would my sorrows share. - Robert Burns' Lament for James
- Eva Yojimbo
- Redbeard
- Age: 38
- Posts: 8005
- Joined: Feb 17, 2007
- Location: Somewhere Over the Rainbo
- Gender: Male
More, more, more (I'm becoming a pimp...)
SPOILER: Show
Variations on a Theme: Poetics
i.
As I sit I’ll tackle and counter contradictions in the diction of this auto-dictation:
“Silent Screams!”
“Blinding Darkness!”
I’ll dive and bellyflop into the abyss of the abstract unconscious
Wrestle with phantasms and forms of sense impressions
To cage a lurking fugitive in the prison of language;
Behind bars of representative strings of text
Oh, how slippery!
One can only gaze
And battle monsters
For so long
The silver cord and lifeline snaps
And the imprisoner becomes the imprisoned
ii.
I’ll utter thousands of platitudes in print and claim them myself
If only truth wasn’t so often uttered.
The words that once made a made a meal are half-baked banal bread
Smelt
Tasted
Swallowed
Digested
Now just expelled fertilizer
Given to grow the grass
Of the new and bold
It will be walked on and trampled down too
In time
iii.
This linguistic game -
For one can only call it a game
To take it seriously is to go insane -
Is the ultimate conqueror
It gives us our illusion
That we can play the master
Kings and queens
Those who believe it are fortune’s fools
They amuse the muse
We’ll work and till this land to plant our seeds
Only to benefit a larger kingdom
We’ll never rule
i.
As I sit I’ll tackle and counter contradictions in the diction of this auto-dictation:
“Silent Screams!”
“Blinding Darkness!”
I’ll dive and bellyflop into the abyss of the abstract unconscious
Wrestle with phantasms and forms of sense impressions
To cage a lurking fugitive in the prison of language;
Behind bars of representative strings of text
Oh, how slippery!
One can only gaze
And battle monsters
For so long
The silver cord and lifeline snaps
And the imprisoner becomes the imprisoned
ii.
I’ll utter thousands of platitudes in print and claim them myself
If only truth wasn’t so often uttered.
The words that once made a made a meal are half-baked banal bread
Smelt
Tasted
Swallowed
Digested
Now just expelled fertilizer
Given to grow the grass
Of the new and bold
It will be walked on and trampled down too
In time
iii.
This linguistic game -
For one can only call it a game
To take it seriously is to go insane -
Is the ultimate conqueror
It gives us our illusion
That we can play the master
Kings and queens
Those who believe it are fortune’s fools
They amuse the muse
We’ll work and till this land to plant our seeds
Only to benefit a larger kingdom
We’ll never rule
Cinelogue & Forced Perspective Cinema
^ Writing as Jonathan Henderson ^
We're all adrift on the stormy seas of Evangelion, desperately trying to gather what flotsam can be snatched from the gale into a somewhat seaworthy interpretation so that we can at last reach the shores of reason and respite. - ObsessiveMathsFreak
Jimbo has posted enough to be considered greater than or equal to everyone, and or synonymous with the concept of 'everyone'. - Muggy
I've seen so many changeful years, / to Earth I am a stranger grown: / I wander in the ways of men, / alike unknowing and unknown: / Unheard, unpitied, unrelieved, / I bear alone my load of care; / For silent, low, on beds of dust, / Lie all that would my sorrows share. - Robert Burns' Lament for James
^ Writing as Jonathan Henderson ^
We're all adrift on the stormy seas of Evangelion, desperately trying to gather what flotsam can be snatched from the gale into a somewhat seaworthy interpretation so that we can at last reach the shores of reason and respite. - ObsessiveMathsFreak
Jimbo has posted enough to be considered greater than or equal to everyone, and or synonymous with the concept of 'everyone'. - Muggy
I've seen so many changeful years, / to Earth I am a stranger grown: / I wander in the ways of men, / alike unknowing and unknown: / Unheard, unpitied, unrelieved, / I bear alone my load of care; / For silent, low, on beds of dust, / Lie all that would my sorrows share. - Robert Burns' Lament for James
- FreakyFilmFan4ever
- (In)Sufficient Director
- Age: 36
- Posts: 9897
- Joined: Jun 09, 2009
- Location: Playing amongst the stars
- Gender: Male
I'm starting to work more and more on my web comic ideas, whereas I should be working on my script for the short sci-fi film. But see, I delayed the web comic work so I had time to work on the script. But then a more immediate project came up, so I didn't have time for script due to that project, but suddenly had time to work on the web comic due to postponing of the script, even though I had the more immediate project taking up a lot of my time.
I think this is what they mean by "breaking the space/time continuum".
Either way, I've inked a ton of pages this week, whereas I should have none. I don't expect to post them on the internets anytime soon, since I really need to work on that sci-fi script after the immediate project wraps up in a couple of days, and therefore can't guarantee a steady web comic update at this point.
I think this is what they mean by "breaking the space/time continuum".
Either way, I've inked a ton of pages this week, whereas I should have none. I don't expect to post them on the internets anytime soon, since I really need to work on that sci-fi script after the immediate project wraps up in a couple of days, and therefore can't guarantee a steady web comic update at this point.
I'm gonna try and do an orchestral remix of Raining Blood by Slayer, I'll probably start today.
Clocks and Maids
Don't believe in yourself, believe in the maid who believes in you! <3
The Ewan McGregor and Jaime Lannister Fangirl of EGF
My cakes will pierce the heavens!
Maidly Quote: "I'll punish you in high heels!"
[url]http://i603.photobucket.com/albums/tt111/Xero103/1297051910683.jpg[/url]
~=Gothic Lolita=~
EGF's Herald of Slaanesh
Don't believe in yourself, believe in the maid who believes in you! <3
The Ewan McGregor and Jaime Lannister Fangirl of EGF
My cakes will pierce the heavens!
Maidly Quote: "I'll punish you in high heels!"
[url]http://i603.photobucket.com/albums/tt111/Xero103/1297051910683.jpg[/url]
~=Gothic Lolita=~
EGF's Herald of Slaanesh
And here's the pic with the second character completed, for the "they fight crime" project
[URL=http://img198.imageshack.us/i/theyfightcrimev.jpg/][/URL]
The thing skewered on her spear is a belly, she likes to dance around with it.
[URL=http://img198.imageshack.us/i/theyfightcrimev.jpg/][/URL]
The thing skewered on her spear is a belly, she likes to dance around with it.
Parasite Galaxy: An experimental webcomic
http://www.parasitegalaxy.com/ Updates Monday and Thursday. Vote for me on top webcomics
If you want to support this comic buy something from me on amazon
http://www.parasitegalaxy.com/ Updates Monday and Thursday. Vote for me on top webcomics
If you want to support this comic buy something from me on amazon
- schismatics
- Potential Pilot
- Age: 34
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- Joined: May 11, 2009
- Location: Killinois
- Gender: Male
- Evangelion__x
- Clockiel
- Posts: 441
- Joined: Jun 26, 2008
- Location: A'straya
- Joseph the PRPD
- Elder God
- Age: 30
- Posts: 6339
- Joined: Dec 19, 2008
- Location: League City, TX
- Gender: Male
- Fazmotron
- Admin Emeritus :-{|
- Age: 34
- Posts: 1991
- Joined: Nov 27, 2007
- Location: Right here, always.
- Gender: Male
- Contact:
You better cut those scary fingernails.
[Became a moderator on August 14th, 2011. Became an administrator on September 7th, 2013.]
--Fazmotron--
A.K.A. - Ryan Farrell
Avatar: How Chaz sees me.
BobBQ - I find your lack of :-{| disturbing.
FAZMOTRON.com
--Fazmotron--
A.K.A. - Ryan Farrell
Avatar: How Chaz sees me.
BobBQ - I find your lack of :-{| disturbing.
FAZMOTRON.com
- Evangelion__x
- Clockiel
- Posts: 441
- Joined: Jun 26, 2008
- Location: A'straya
I'm working on making an RP, almost done with it actually.
Clocks and Maids
Don't believe in yourself, believe in the maid who believes in you! <3
The Ewan McGregor and Jaime Lannister Fangirl of EGF
My cakes will pierce the heavens!
Maidly Quote: "I'll punish you in high heels!"
[url]http://i603.photobucket.com/albums/tt111/Xero103/1297051910683.jpg[/url]
~=Gothic Lolita=~
EGF's Herald of Slaanesh
Don't believe in yourself, believe in the maid who believes in you! <3
The Ewan McGregor and Jaime Lannister Fangirl of EGF
My cakes will pierce the heavens!
Maidly Quote: "I'll punish you in high heels!"
[url]http://i603.photobucket.com/albums/tt111/Xero103/1297051910683.jpg[/url]
~=Gothic Lolita=~
EGF's Herald of Slaanesh
- Great Genius Shinji-Sama
- Test Subject
- Age: 39
- Posts: 2777
- Joined: Aug 11, 2009
- Location: Owensboro,KY
- Gender: Male
- Contact:
Anyone here know how to read or understand moonspeak? Im trying to at least translate and figure out the Jobs for the Job Related endings in Shinji Ikari Raising Project. The only one I know for sure is Basketball player.
Avatar: Utena and Anthy hawtness <3
-----------------------------------------------------------
XBOX LIVE GAMERTAG: ShinjiSama01
-----------------------------------------------------------
http://shinjisama.wordpress.com/ - Blog
-----------------------------------------------------------
http://otakuno1.deviantart.com/ - Deviant account
-----------------------------------------------------------
XBOX LIVE GAMERTAG: ShinjiSama01
-----------------------------------------------------------
http://shinjisama.wordpress.com/ - Blog
-----------------------------------------------------------
http://otakuno1.deviantart.com/ - Deviant account
@GGSS: Sorry, can't help ya with the moonspeak. I barely understand English.
I splorted this down while waiting in the doctor's office Friday. Parts of it I like, but on the whole it rubs me the wrong way. The rhyme scheme is dull and uninteresting (and contrived), and there are parts (esp. stanza 2) that stray too close to "cheesy angsty goth poetry" that I really can't stand. If I spend more time on this, I'll probably edit that part out or just restructure it or something.
It's rhythm & rhyme are extremely Ian Curtis, for better or worse (probably worse, seeing as how I'm NOT Ian Curtis), but it does OK at some parts I guess. Any critique would be great.
I splorted this down while waiting in the doctor's office Friday. Parts of it I like, but on the whole it rubs me the wrong way. The rhyme scheme is dull and uninteresting (and contrived), and there are parts (esp. stanza 2) that stray too close to "cheesy angsty goth poetry" that I really can't stand. If I spend more time on this, I'll probably edit that part out or just restructure it or something.
It's rhythm & rhyme are extremely Ian Curtis, for better or worse (probably worse, seeing as how I'm NOT Ian Curtis), but it does OK at some parts I guess. Any critique would be great.
length & bad poetry SPOILER: Show
I was born the year nothing was made
All the memories fade, decisions forbade
Realized that all potency’s flayed
Though our lives dedicate to the hole in our graves.
Grew up slowly in a suburb near Haight
And was told not to stray near the slums of the brave.
Though even cowards wore the masks of the few
And screamed candle complaints, they changed nothing unsaved.
I was told that everything had been said,
That all the lies had been bled, that our truths were all dead.
Told not worry ‘bout the life that’s ahead
Because it’s all in my head.
I don’t dream anymore, there’s nothingness now,
I exist in the void but am aware of the sound.
I had a question, but it’s meaningless now,
I was given an answer and it fits just as well.
I hear the silence, I don’t feel the pain,
I’m uncertain of the doubt that’s been slowly ingrained.
I was given everything and more,
Couldn’t walk through that door, the dawn called for more.
Asked of me the key to unbar the gate,
And I told him “fate”, but he couldn’t relate.
He denied what’s at stake as through it were nothing but lore
Said he felt really sore, and I took the bait.
I remember the white spot, embalmed by the sun
I remember the showers we felt on the lawn.
You danced under rainclouds, and screamed at the sky
As though it were empty in your eyes.
Last night I felt the days calling back from the door,
You told me to go, nothing was here anymore.
This was the year that nothing was made.
We were all saved. Our minds were concave.
Light off the water was the image he gave,
And perception was stayed, and nothing was made.
All the memories fade, decisions forbade
Realized that all potency’s flayed
Though our lives dedicate to the hole in our graves.
Grew up slowly in a suburb near Haight
And was told not to stray near the slums of the brave.
Though even cowards wore the masks of the few
And screamed candle complaints, they changed nothing unsaved.
I was told that everything had been said,
That all the lies had been bled, that our truths were all dead.
Told not worry ‘bout the life that’s ahead
Because it’s all in my head.
I don’t dream anymore, there’s nothingness now,
I exist in the void but am aware of the sound.
I had a question, but it’s meaningless now,
I was given an answer and it fits just as well.
I hear the silence, I don’t feel the pain,
I’m uncertain of the doubt that’s been slowly ingrained.
I was given everything and more,
Couldn’t walk through that door, the dawn called for more.
Asked of me the key to unbar the gate,
And I told him “fate”, but he couldn’t relate.
He denied what’s at stake as through it were nothing but lore
Said he felt really sore, and I took the bait.
I remember the white spot, embalmed by the sun
I remember the showers we felt on the lawn.
You danced under rainclouds, and screamed at the sky
As though it were empty in your eyes.
Last night I felt the days calling back from the door,
You told me to go, nothing was here anymore.
This was the year that nothing was made.
We were all saved. Our minds were concave.
Light off the water was the image he gave,
And perception was stayed, and nothing was made.
- Joseph the PRPD
- Elder God
- Age: 30
- Posts: 6339
- Joined: Dec 19, 2008
- Location: League City, TX
- Gender: Male
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