BL magazine JUNE has published a variety of articles related to NGE - from interviews to Director Anno to scrapped scripts.

In particular, according to several different sources, the JUNE Supplement 09/1996 issue (『別冊JUNE』1996年9月号) published the scrapped First and Second Drafts of the script for episode 24, "The Last Messenger". These scripts are credited, according to the source below, to Satsukawa Akio (薩川昭夫), a scriptwriter involved with Nadia, NGE and Love & Pop. So far IIRC I've taken a look at the First draft and bits of the Second draft, and the differences with the final scenario seem glaring enough to make them worth a fan's time, IMHO (especially - but NOT exclusively - if you're a fan of Kaworu and/or Shinji and/or KawoShin). In other words, I thought these resources were worth sharing as an insight into the creative process that brought us Evangelion and continues on to this day with Rebuild. You might also notice similarities with Sadamoto's manga version.

This website (Japanese text only) has a variety of resources, including the mysterious scrapped Ep. 25' and 26' screenplays and the aforementioned Ep. 24 scripts.





[Don't forget to add an h to the ttp]

They should be 8 pages each, IIRC.

As far as I can tell, these resources appear genuine. I'm trying to acquire the original magazine, but I guess this will have to do for the time being... The scripts seem hard to find online, so I'm afraid I can't provide any other independent source with the complete text.

I will try to update later with something more, if you guys are interested.

There is inevitably going to be discussion of KawoShin and its evolution/involution over the various drafts in this thread, so please consider yourselves advised...

:EDIT:
DRAFT 1 PARTIAL SUMMARY [WIP] :
http://the-liliquarium.livejournal.com/1237.html

DRAFT 2 PARTIAL SUMMARY [WIP] :
http://the-liliquarium.livejournal.com/1482.html

別冊JUNE』1996年9月号 Cover:
http://forum.evageeks.org/viewtopic.php?p=284638#284638

For Further Reference:

Ep. 24 Prototype from the Proposal (ep.22):
http://the-liliquarium.livejournal.com/807.html

:EDIT: I made a new thread for DraftsxRebuild Continuity-related discussion.

Psst, I think you meant "http" in your links.

Very cool find!

Is there a link to the Anno interview from that magazine anywhere? I'd be interested in seeing it.

Legendary wrote:Psst, I think you meant "http" in your links.

LiLi wrote:[Don't forget to add an h to the ttp]

Thank you for the thought though, I appreciate it... ;)
(I think I accidentally cut it when I edited the entry to reply to you but it should be back in place now, bolded for greater visibility.)

Sailor Star Dust wrote:Very cool find!

Is there a link to the Anno interview from that magazine anywhere? I'd be interested in seeing it.

It seemed a pity not to share... ;)

The interview/s are, I think, from different issues - unfortunately I haven't been able to find a link to the contents yet, all I have are some related rumors and a source briefly stating the Eva-related contents in each relevant JUNE issue (and other magazines):



According to said sauce, the issues feat. Hideaki Anno interviews are:

『小説JUNE』 1996年8月号

『別冊JUNE』 1996年11月号

There's also something about Evangelion in 『小説JUNE』 1996年6月号.

『JUNE読本　残酷な天使のように』 also has re-published some of these materials (『小説JUNE』1996年6月号、『別冊JUNE』1996年9月号).


I'm trying to get a hold on some of those magazines...

LiLi wrote:It seemed a pity not to share... ;)

I'm glad you did, I’m really glad that you’ve gone through the trouble to find all of this and share it with us, it really does give out a much better look at the thought behind Kaworu’s design, these scripts and the magazine sources you gave us really are going to fill in some of the gaps, thanks
I wonder if this has any tie to the transfer student theme that is constantly thrown into all sorts of EVA stuff, and I guess it looks like Asuka getting back by spreading rumors through gossip really wasn’t something thought of only for the games...I guess her way of being manipulative is kind of funny, at least when things aren't a total mess
Uh, and should the fanvideos based of the scripts also go here?

I skimmed through the first draft using google translate, hopefully I'll have time to look at the second one tomorrow. Clearly this was early in the planning stages considering....

~Shinji meets Kaworu playing the piano like in the manga, but it's at school.

~Asuka(!!) is okay and well, she and Shinji have a fight at one point in his room.

~Toji is discharged from the hospital, Kensuke invites Shinji to Toji getting released but Shinji wants to see Kaworu instead.

A scene that's really cute is how Kaworu would have helped Shinji learn how to swim. If nothing else, I think this should have been kept:

Suddenly shedding tears, Shinji buries his face in Kaworu's shoulder, crying for no reason

EDIT:

Draft 2 seems to be more of what we get in the series: Asuka doesn't seem to be around (the episode starts with the flashback to telling Kyoko she's a pilot), lots of Shinji and Kaworu talking, and a Hyuga and Misato scene too.

Via SSD, Kaworu is in "A God Am I" mode.

Rei: "You are an Angel."
Kaworu: "An Angel? *laugh* I am God."

From #egf-rpg's discussion of why some awesome lines and scenes were scrapped in the final:

<Legendary> in Japan, a large amount of the budget is spent on an awesomeness quotient
<Legendary> when they scripted 24, they weren't expecting to be bankrupted by 19
<Legendary> so they still had lots of money for awesome
<Legendary> and then that money ran out
<NAveryW> The eariest script for episode 24 had dancing elephants and a pyrotechnics sequence
<NAveryW> That was the first thing to go

Sailor Star Dust wrote:~Toji is discharged from the hospital, Kensuke invites Shinji to Toji getting released but Shinji wants to see Kaworu instead.

A scene that's really cute is how Kaworu would have helped Shinji learn how to swim. If nothing else, I think this should have been kept:

Suddenly shedding tears, Shinji buries his face in Kaworu's shoulder, crying for no reason

I think it really emphasizes how attached Shinji's gotten: he's skipping out on the rest of his friends (Touji especially) to follow around Kaworu, and he's feels comfortable enough around Tabby-kun that he's able to unload... I guess Kaworu just has that much of an effect on him. Even if the clinging and potential openness to manipulation might not be a totally healthy thing...he really is coming off as total Uke in these.
It certanly would have fit (metaphorically) for Kaworu to help him swim, but I guess given one episode they couldn't do it...Mabey Khara will reuse the idea?...or at least the cry on shoulder one
EDIT:

Draft 2 seems to be more of what we get in the series: Asuka doesn't seem to be around (the episode starts with the flashback to telling Kyoko she's a pilot), lots of Shinji and Kaworu talking, and a Hyuga and Misato scene too.

It does a bit, but Kaworu and Shinji's interaction is a bit more direct than what the TV gave I'm sure you've found the part I mean

Okay so I didn't have time to check but I think the Take 2 episode 24 bathtub scene implies Shinji gets hard.

What really made me go is THIS, on page 4 of the take 2 episode:

Google translate wrote:Close to the face of Kaworu Shinji's face to a smooth stop.
カヲル、シンジと口づけを交わす。 Kaworu, Shinji, and share a kiss.
シンジ、拒むことなく、自然に受け入れる自分に気づく。 Shinji, without refuse, to accept his notice nature.
妙に冷静な気持ちになって、天井の明りを見ている。 It felt strangely calm,

I admit, seeing an anime Kaworu/Shinji kiss would have been cute in a way (This scene would have beaten the hell out of what Sadamoto gives us in the manga! ). Though while Shinji obviously has sexual confusion around Kaworu, I don't think he felt the same way around Kaworu that he clearly feels for, say, Asuka.

Sailor Star Dust wrote:Okay so I didn't have time to check but I think the Take 2 episode 24 bathtub scene implies Shinji gets hard.

Like I said in the chan, if they'd only kept this, I might have been able to tolerate Episode 10, as it would have had a PURPOSE.

Same with an A/S kiss and a K/S kiss... Nice parallels of real (Asuka as well as reality) vs ideal (Kaworu as well as Instrumentality) there.

FFFFUUU-- I'm now dying to see where Anno takes the character dynamics with the rest of Webuild. Be out sooner, Q (and 4.0)!!

I really do wonder how the audience would have taken this rather open version I'm sure that turning what was wrapped as a mecha/shonen show into yaoi would have been a rather funny way of trolling...he'd probably get a few angry notes that way.

Sailor Star Dust wrote: I admit, seeing an anime Kaworu/Shinji kiss would have been cute in a way (This scene would have beaten the hell out of what Sadamoto gives us in the manga! ). Though while Shinji obviously has sexual confusion around Kaworu, I don't think he felt the same way around Kaworu that he clearly feels for, say, Asuka.

But I like the Manga's version of Tabby/Puppy Manga Kaworu was trying to help TsunShin out of his nightmare, he just wasn't quite as good at being what Shin-chan wanted.
Err, I guess you’re right about that: all of Shinji’s relations were rather unique, and his interaction with Asuka had a definite sexual component at the forefront (it does show as early as Shinji’s peeping in ep8, and it’s emphasized throughout the show), but Shin-chan very much had a intimate bond with Kaworu that did have an element of sexual attraction...I’m pretty sure Shin-chan’s got to have identity issues, but that doesn’t stop him from clinging to Kaworu.
I do agree about the Real/Ideal difference presented although it looks like Shin-chan has a thing for evading reality; it's probably easier to have Kaworu hold him than have to go and face what happened with Touji or deal with Asuka.

MWAHAHAHAHA!

I'm glad you guys got to the juicy parts - had I brought them up, they might have been taken for the ravings of a KawoShin fangirl... ;)

Ahem.

:PARTIAL SUMMARY EDITED WITH SOME MORE DETAILS:

Synapsid wrote:I'm glad you did, I’m really glad that you’ve gone through the trouble to find all of this and share it with us, it really does give out a much better look at the thought behind Kaworu’s design, these scripts and the magazine sources you gave us really are going to fill in some of the gaps, thanks

You're welcome. I'm glad to be able to share it, I'm really grateful someone took the time to type it all for other fans (I just found it after all, the real benefactor is that webmster!) I really do think there's a wealth of info that might shed some light on the anime, manga and possibly even Rebuild version...
I thought it was about time to bring some 'fresh' (old) materials into the K/S discussion, too... I guess these materials might be relevant to better understanding Anno's interviews - if we ever manage to find them!

I wonder if this has any tie to the transfer student theme that is constantly thrown into all sorts of EVA stuff, and I guess it looks like Asuka getting back by spreading rumors through gossip really wasn’t something thought of only for the games...

I wonder too.

As for Asuka... IIRC, in the First Draft, she sees Kaworu and Shinji talking and laughing at NERV HQ (Shinji had been avoiding Kaworu early on, even though at that point he's chosen to deny it - but we'll get back to this later). Shinji and Kaworu start hanging around together a lot, so when their classmates notice that Shinji has been daring to cling to their Kaworu-sama, Asuka tells them that those two are an item.

The girls start spreading the rumor right away. Asuka looks repentant for a second, then she goes and pretends not to know/see.

Given what happens later, I'm not quite sure whether she was being mischievious or serious in her assessment of the situation though...

IIRC, after Shinji ditches Kensuke's party (to celebrate Touji's discharge from the hospital) to hang out with Kaworu (saying he had a previous engagement) they go to the mole to look at the ruins of the sumberged old city from 15 years ago.

Kaworu starts an enigmatic little speech about a man who lost his wife (more on that later maybe?)

Then he proposes they swim. Shinji objects he has no swimsuit but Kaworu says they are both boys and no one's around - they can just swim naked. And he dives in. Shinji starts taking off his clothes.

Shinji is lagging a bit behind Kaworu. He stares in fascination as Kaworu's limbs float in the water.

Kaworu is advancing to the open sea, but Shinji doesn't move any further. Kaworu turns toward him and tells him to come. Shinji confesses he can't swim, so that's as far as he can go. Kaworu tells him he can just cling to him - when Shinji finally moves, he retracts his hand. Shinji starts going down and Kaworu grabs him and holds him, amused at the discovery that Shinji really cannot swim! Shinji goes, "And I believed you..." then he buries his face into Kaworu's shoulder and starts crying for no apparent reason.

Later, as they put their clothes back on, they're admiring the sun setting as it colors the sky in green.

Shinji notices scars on Kaworu's wrist.

Kaworu asks Shinji why he was crying, was he afraid of the sea? Shinji replies he doesn't know - he doesn't understand himself. He thought he wanted to sink in the sea and die. Kaworu asks why. Shinji finally admits he HAD been avoiding Kaworu: compared to Kaworu, he is a miserable and insignificant person.

When they are together, he feels like he's going crazy, and yet, whenever he can't see him, he becomes unbearably anxious... Kaworu shouldn't associate with such a paltry person as himself.
He feels he wants to die.

It gets dark, Shinji says he can't see Kaworu's face anymore.

He starts confessing to him (カヲル君、僕は君のことが・・・)

But Kaworu interrupts him, saying, sorry, he doesn't want that.

He says they'll go back separately cause he doesn't want to hurt Shinji any further. As he leaves, Shinji is left alone in an abyss of despair.

Misato's Mansion.

Asuka is playing Famicon with PenPen.
Misato comes out of Shinji's room with a tray of cooled down food. Shinji has shut himself in his room and hasn't even eaten anything. He's not running a fever but Misato is wondering if they should bring him to the hospital. Asuka is the one to realize the reason of Shinji's slump is due to lovesickness, from his having been rejected. Misato finally starts to realize and Asuka confirms she's talking about the Fifth. (Misato and her big mouth later spread the info to Ritsuko in no uncertain terms... -.-; )
Misato is wondering if they should bring him to the doctor. Asuka is the one to realize the reason of Shinji's slump is due to lovesickness, from his having been rejected. Misato finally starts to realize and Asuka confirms she's talking about the Fifth. (Misato and her big mouth later spread the info to Ritsuko in no uncertain terms... -.-; )

Asuka even goes to Shinji's room to cheer him up in her own way, but the miserable puppy doesn't want any of that and even tells her not to touch him.

I hope this little summary was useful...?
More later maybe?

Unlike Shinji, I need breakfast now...

Uh, and should the fanvideos based of the scripts also go here?

Sure, if you think they are relevant to the topic. You know I love seeing them! ;) Or maybe you could make a separate topic to collect them all?

Synapsid wrote:I really do wonder how the audience would have taken this rather open version I'm sure that turning what was wrapped as a mecha/shonen show into yaoi would have been a rather funny way of trolling...

Trolling Value: OFF THE SCALE! It would have been a rather revolutionary scene for a "mecha" anime, I think - we're still waiting for a mecha anime hero to go quite so openly there, aren't we?

It's also interesting to note, IMO, that the Second Draft, while still tragic, is the one with the kiss and a seemingly less one-sided relationship... (Although Kaworu's true feelings aren't that clear-cut to me in the First Draft either, considering his last scene especially...)

Uncharacteristically for me, I admit I love the poignant, angsty first draft scene and how it reads as a little novel... but the kiss scene in the second draft is also very interesting, not to mention intriguing in its odd placidity...

Asuka even goes to Shinji's room to cheer him up in her own way, but the miserable puppy doesn't want any of that and even tells her not to touch him.

MWAHAHAHAH! Where is your A/S now?

Mr. Tines wrote:

Asuka even goes to Shinji's room to cheer him up in her own way, but the miserable puppy doesn't want any of that and even tells her not to touch him.

MWAHAHAHAH! Where is your A/S now?

In the show that was actually released rather than in an episode draft they decided not to use ;)

Just a short notice to say, I edited the post above with a bit more details... ;)

@tines: It's also interesting to note that Asuka doesn't seem jealous in the First Draft, as far as I can tell. The one who gets accused of being jealous by Ritsuko is... Misato (darn, I forgot to mention it!?)

Ritsuko tells Misato, IIRC, that she's jealous of Kaworu cause she's afraid he might take Shinji away.

esselfortium wrote:

Mr. Tines wrote:

Asuka even goes to Shinji's room to cheer him up in her own way, but the miserable puppy doesn't want any of that and even tells her not to touch him.

MWAHAHAHAH! Where is your A/S now?

In the show that was actually released rather than in an episode draft they decided not to use ;)

Quoted for being so much truth it hurts.

esselfortium wrote:In the show that was actually released

That would be the on air version, which lacked it as well.

Guys...

I looked again at the scene, so I can give you a little summary.

So Asuka goes to Shinji's room, basically telling him she doesn't know what happened (liar...) but he needs to snap out of it cause his behavior is shameful.

Shinji doesn't reply, so she pokes his face with a finger, going, Will you at least answer me. Shinji. Shin-chan.

Shinji, unkindly brushing off Asuka's hand, goes, don't touch me with your filthy hands.

Asuka is silent.

Shinji goes, how dare you, after you spread that filthy rumor. I don't want to see your face, Get out.

Asuka flees the room in a rage.