Bardiel pushed himself in the lead, as if knowing where he was going as he and Kaji walked towards the staircase to head upstairs to the room Rei was cooking food in. Bardiel passed by the stairs, keeping a firm stare in front of him while Kaji just stopped.

"Um..." Kaji broke the silence, wondering what Bardiel was going.

"What now?" Bardiel growled, facing the poorly shaven Lilin.

"Food is this way."

"I knew that! I was just...uh...seeing if there was a better way up!"

Kaji couldn't help but chuckle at the Angel's arrogance, reclaiming the lead as he climbed the stairs.

Their stomachs ached in unison, Kaji hoped that food was still being made. Warm food seemed like a blessing when the power's out. Bardiel, still not exposed to the wonders of a good meal, didn't care. He could eat anything right now, as long as it would shut his stomach up. The darkness? He didn't care. Bardiel was much familiar with the dark. The morning haze carried enough light from the sun so that they could both see sufficiently.

Reborn... Bardiel still had to make up for his past sins. He wondered if he was off to a good start. Can't die until I do. Can't be with Mother any other way. Then a thought came to mind that made him sick. I should apologize to Ikari. What!? No! Apologize for what?! It was that fucker that killed me. He would NOT let himself go down so far to apologize to the squirt. Still...I have to repay. Later, he'd do it later.

And up the stairs they went, until they made it to the apartment. Rudely kicking the door open, Bardiel burst into the room, intent on making a scene, to have everybody notice him. Too bad the only people in there were Sachiel, Armisael and Lilith. The bitch. Kaji entered quietly, taking no mind to Bardiel. "Hey Miss Ayanami? How are you this morning? Sachiel, good to see you've recovered. Armisael."

Ayanami Rei of the Mist

...

the door slams open...and Kaji and Bardiel walk through the-

and Lilith. The bitch...

...

"Hey Miss Ayanami? How are you this morning? Sachiel, good to see you've recovered. Armisael."

"Kaji-san. I..I-I am fine. Breakfast is almost over, but Sachiel and Armisael came late, so I cooked for them. Are you two hungry?"

I speak without emotion, to hide emotion. Arrogance...arrogance and pride...and pride..of others has always hurt me...angered me...frustrated me...

Part III: What A Wonderful World coming soon...

"Um...what's your name, mister? You didn't tell me it yet."

Brian smiled and looked at Shinji

"I'm Brian Leonard and I'm American if you couldn't guess by the way i look or my accent."

Brian kept walking with Shinji, feeling happy but slightly anxious about seeing who else was alive

"So i was wondering, i know you were alone for a month but how long have you been here? Also how many people are here?"

(OOC: Somewhat tongue-in-cheek to the fact our numbers are dropping.)

"So I was wondering, I know you were alone for a month but how long have you been here? Also how many people are here?"

Shinji thought a moment, then quickly scribbled down: "About 20 or so, though it feels like there's a lot less at times. A few of them seem more quiet than me or Ayanami can be... Oh, Ayanami Rei was the Pilot of Eva-00. Soryu Asuka Langley was the Pilot of Eva-02. There were two more Pilots--Touji Suzuhara and Nagisa Kaworu--but they weren't as um active for a few reasons."

It's not like he had to go into specifics about things, anyway. If Brian was so curious, he could ask Touji or Kaworu himself.

Noticing he felt somewhat cranky--maybe he was just tired, Shinji wondered if he should take a nap when he got back. But he thought he overheard Misato saying something about a noon meeting? If that was the case, then he'd go to it.

Carrying the bags of supplies in either hand, Shinji quietly looked around his surroundings. The stores for the town were about a 5-10 minute walk from the apartment complex, while the LCL Sea and the beach were more off in the distance--about a 30 minute walk if he was estimating right. The area itself was actually quite pleasant. Some flora in the distance: mostly trees and plants as well as some fauna--birds, squirrels and the like could be seen and heard.

With a smile, Shinji realized he could get used to living here, provided he wasn't totally alone.

Brian and Shinji finally came to the door of the apartment complex.

"Well Shinji it would be quiet interesting to meet up with these people. I'm still really confused about what happened...plus i really want to help you get your voice back."

Brian opened the door and stepped to the side

"You lead the way Shinji."

"Plus I really want to help you get your voice back."

Nodding in reply at Brian's kindness, Shinji found himself lost in thought for a moment. Speaking of which, just how DID I lose my voice anyway? I remember talking to Rei about Kaworu-kun and then...

"Rei, um...I haven't seen Kaworu-kun around lately. I know I was knocked out for a while but...where is he?"

That's right....

"...Adam....is.....dead. s-s...She died as her...AT Field collapsed upon itself. She escaped Earth, and the resulting explosion turned night into day for a few seconds. She sacrificed herself so that our second chance would not be wasted."

That's why it happened.

"According to your calender...it is only February 26th, 2016. But I'm...so sorry. I don't mind if you are angry at me. I understand your frustration."

That's why I...

"I'm sorry...I...I placed my needs over yours....I didn't want to come back...I didn't want to come back, Shinji...but I feared that you did...and you did when I checked, so I had to. I...still...l-l....love you."

But....even if...Kaworu-kun really is gone...that doesn't mean I should just give up.

"I love you, Shinji."

That doesn't mean I can just give myself over to despair. I have to get better, whether it's because I'm stressed or because of being mute because I want to get better! And....I want to be there for everybody. I...

"I love you too, Rei. I honestly do...I want us to have a good relationship together!"

I....I do want to be here. And I do want to be happy, with everybody else. Life may have pain, but it can also have pleasure too. For...for Kaworu-kun's sake...for Mother's sake...I'm not going to give up. I'm tired of crying so much. And I'm tired of feeling so miserable when everybody's finally back.

Putting his bags of supplies on the ground momentarily, Shinji quickly jotted down: "I remembered....what shocked me into being mute. I'm in disbelief that my best friend apparently..." Shinji gulped at that, eyes already watering. "...that my best friend...died. If you see any of the adults, please let them know that that's what happened. I...I um don't know how long I'll be mute for, but till then I'm just going to try to act normal despite the stress."

Thinking for a moment, Shinji added, "Do...do you think that by acting normal, just doing everyday things, it'll help me become my old self again? ...Hopefully somewhat happier instead of out of my mind like I have been lately, but..."

It's going to take some time, but I am working on myself, starting now.

Brian opened the door and stepped to the side.

"You lead the way, Shinji."

The boy shook his head, implying that he wanted Brian to go first. His heart was heavy at the realization of his problem. Shinji held onto the door with one hand, holding onto both bags of supplies with the other. He leaned with his back against the door so Brian could first pass by with the goods he carried. Shinji just hoped the SDAT he acquired wouldn't get crushed in his back pants pocket.

Looking inside the lobby, Shinji's back was still pressed against the door.
He blinked at what he saw: Asuka, Ritsuko, Maya and several of the others staring at him in surprise, as if they didn't expect to see him there.

Smiling meekly at the others, Shinji entered the lobby and placed the supplies onto the floor to give his now tried arms a rest. The door slammed behind him with a slight echo as he patiently waited for somebody to say something.

"Shinji-kun!", Maya let out a breath in relief, a hand on her chest, visibly worried. "It's a good thing you're alright! We were about to go looking for you!"

Shinji's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Looking for me? Why did they want to--oh. That's right. Because of my panic attack.

Slowly opening his mouth in reply, Shinji tried to see if maybe he could finally--A slight squeak from the back of his throat came out instead. Frowning, Shinji shook his head. Still nothing, huh?

Sighing a little from his throat, resting his hands on his lap, Shinji tiredly closed his eyes as he sat on the lobby steps. He vaguely remembered overhearing Misato say to Ritsuko that there was going to be a group meeting at Noon. Judging by the sun's current position, that was only about 20 minutes from now.

The boy tried not to think about how this was the same place that Kyoko tried to attack him only hours before. A shudder involuntarily went down his spine, but he tried to fight off the sudden wave of panic by simply breathing slowly through his nose while listening to the others.

(OOC: Happy (7th) Birthday Shin-chan! ;) And now, the first of some scattered about mind-fuck flashbacks/daydreams. Enjoy.)

Birds nosily chirped as the morning sunlight filtered through his window.
"Shin-chan. Time to wake up." Moaning in his sleep, Shinji tiredly opened his eyes to see the person nudging him awake. In perfect English, the purple-haired woman lovingly said, "Happy birthday Shinji!"

"Mi...Misato-san?", he blinked, sitting up to stretch. "Yep. So you're 15 today right? Just sit back and relax today. Asuka, Rei and I cooked for you."

Wandering sleepily into the kitchen, he gave a warm smile at the two other girls. Rei was quietly setting some the pancakes on the table, occasionally making eye contact, expression gentle and....motherly...while Asuka walked up to him, sweetly kissing his cheek. Heart light, Shinji---

Grave markers. Mouth dry, Shinji realized he was back here again. The cheerful yet rudely interrupted moment a small but comfortable home had suddenly morphed into an all too familiar beach, it's blood-red waves harshly breaking against the sand.

He had just finished constructing them... "One for Misato-san..." He hung her Cross Pendant on a nail to hers. "And one for all the others." He stared at the other objects for confirmation.

Despite getting enough sleep the past 14 days, he felt tired. So very tired... Nobody had bothered returning yet.

"They won't return...I won't ever see them again.", he miserably whispered, eyes and hand twitching, breathing irregular. A slight chill went into the air as Shinji curled upright in the sand, the full moon cruelly casting its light on the abandoned boy.

It was just Shinji, the petrified MP Eva Series, and... And those eyes. Those cold, emotionless, soulless eye's of Lilith's. Staring at him, mocking him, as her cracked head gradually made it's way to shore---

"Shinji?"

Eyes wide, Shinji looked up at the voice, startled. His breathing momentarily went heavy before he gained control of it again.

I'm back in the apartment?! What...how...? Confused, Shinji wasn't exactly certain what was fact and what was fiction anymore. Wasn't he at the beach again after that weird daydream--if that pleasant scene of Asuka, Rei and Misato being so kind to him was only a daydream? It felt so real....All of it. Being alone but them being with him and being sweet even though he still had a few months to go before turning 15 if he lived that long and...

Averting his gaze to the floor, shivering from fear and the sudden chill in his heart, he hiccuped in his throat. What was happening to him? If only he could speak!

Ju...just calm down, Shinji. Pay attention to what the others are saying to you. That'll take your mind off things for now.

Shifting his focus, Shinji gave his full attention to the others despite being well aware of his suddenly irregular heartbeat and sweaty palms.

She really didn't know how she got here, nor how long she had been there... but right now all that mattered for Shamshel was that she was alone.

She had watched as Armisael and the others had arrived at the same room where She had taken Ramiel and Leliel, and felt the warmth coming from

Mother

The lulling sound of the waves crashing against the nearby shore were lulling, and the combination of the wind and sun were making her feel slightly drowsy, though that might also have to do with her belly feeling full.

Smiling and closing her magenta colored eyes, Shamshel indulged herself remembering the flavor of the food she had eaten; while by many it would be considered nothing of substance, and its taste as delicious and ground breaking as a bag of chips, for Shamshel it had been the first contact with Lilin food.

She had been slightly confused as to why the need to prepare and serve it, but at the same time something about the necessity to embellish that which was about to be consumed, to spice it, cook it, make it appalling to the eyes just before it became turned into mulch...

it was perplexing, and confusing, and illogical.

And yet, a lot of what Lilin did was precisely that.

But, she had felt like a stranger, she had felt like she wasn't wanted, nor needed there, she had felt...

She had felt...

A sense of longing, of wanting to belong, of trying to become a small, frail infant, to be pressed against the loving mother's bosom and be taken care for.

A feeling of accomplishment, of being in the moment and place and time where she was meant to be, where she was needed to be, and as she kept watching everyone...

Shamshel opened her eyes and smelled the salty, bitter air, heavy and dense with the smell of what one could say was sea weed but for her simply smelled different and damp, and her thoughts went back to what always seemed to entertain her thoughts.

Her siblings; she had felt Bardiel's death and rebirth; had been there with Sachiel and Armisael, and Leliel and Ramiel. She felt some sort of sisterly connection with Israfael... but somehow what she felt was never able to be expressed as she would like.

Then, there was the feeling of being threatened by the boy with the camera, always trying to capture what was happening in front of him; she felt some sort of... hostility towards the taller, brash boy with the strong voice, and yet she was unable to act on it as she would like.

A small itch on her hand made Shamshel pick up her hand and look at it, noticing a slight rash on the front of he wrists, almost as if some sort of irritation was focused there.

Deciding it wasn't worthy of any more thoughts, Shamshel sighed and decided to go back, to see how where the others.

Maybe overtime, this feeling would go away.

OOC: The Asuka post will be along shortly, but I need to speak with mai waifu (tomorrow) to see WTF is going on with him and see how this affects der Redheads post, also...
uh...
I forget

Misato smiled at him, and, then, she placed her hand upon his. Akira couldn't help but jerk slightly in response. This was their first tactile interaction since... “But that doesn't mean I can't try to forgive you, right?” she asked.

He opened his mouth to speak when Misato quickly withdrew from what had just transpired, standing up to stretch. Then, a rather nonchalant change of subject. “Now then, since we're going to try to have that meeting at noon, just what should we discuss? Do we really have enough resources out here for long term survival?”

The breakaway was disconcerting. “Ah...” He drew his hands into his lap and awkwardly tried switching gears. “Well... No, this doesn't seem to be an environment capable of—”

Misato suddenly sat back down. “Oh, um... Sorry, father. If you want to say anything else about our conversation, feel free to.”

Akira stared at her for a moment; she seemed embarrassed. For some reason, he suddenly found himself wanting to escape the situation. Misato's display of emotionality had faded so quickly, and their moment of intimacy so abruptly abandoned... He didn't know what his daughter was thinking.

He glanced away. “I...... don't suppose I have anything to add, right this moment.” He retrieved his used dishes and eased himself up onto his feet. The little penguin was still sleeping. The morning had visibly progressed since he'd first sat down, although Akira wasn't sure exactly what time it was. “A group assembly... Smith had been trying to do that last night, too.” He finally turned back to Misato. “I suppose it really is about time, isn't it?”

_____________________________________

Toji stomped up the stairs. He couldn't care less if anyone was following him. Kensuke could just keep following those Angel-chicks around with his camcorder until he ran out of batteries again.

That Kaji guy. He'd never known him too well. Was he Misato-san's boyfriend or somethin'? The guy tried too hard to be some “voice of reason”. Bet he didn't give a crap about anything Toji had gone through. Too busy shielding that Angel. That... “Bardiel”. Kaji... Toji didn't trust him.

“Bring Ritsuko, too; she'll need to see to take a look at our friend here.” Yeah, right. Toji hoped he didn't have to see that lady again anytime soon. Something about her creeped him out.

What the hell was he doing here?

He wanted to see Sis. Why couldn't she be here?

Without warning, somebody stormed down the stairs past him. Toji quickly spun around. “...Shinji?” But he was already out of sight. Toji tried following, but Shinji was in a hell of a hurry. There wasn't much point in trying to follow. Strange... He'd seemed kinda panicked.

Toji finally stepped into the fifth floor hallway. Did somethin' happen up here?

(OOC: Meant to be a catch up/slight back in time post similar to Reichu's above. Hope that's okay.)

Beginning to feel more than uncomfortable with being around her father, Misato felt like she had to get away from him. From the situation. She honestly wanted things to be alright, but she couldn't help but feel awkward around the doctor, and wouldn't be surprised in the least if he had felt the same.

Standing up yet again, Misato gently--almost motherly--scooped Pen Pen into her arms, the bird still peacefully sleeping.

“A group assembly... Smith had been trying to do that last night, too.” Akira, who was facing away from the girl, finally turned back to Misato. “I suppose it really is about time, isn't it?”

"Yeah.", Misato quietly replied so as not to wake Pen Pen. "We should."

With those words, Misato began slowly heading back towards the apartment.

***

Sighing as she stood at the entrance, scratching a cheek, Maya turned to her senior. "Senpai...maybe it would be best to wait for Shinji-kun here? He'll probably return soon enough. It'd be bad if end up lost when we could be needed here."

She noticed Asuka was leaning against the by the lobby entrance, apparently lost in thought about something. Maya continued to the doctor, "I mean, if you and Major Katsuragi were discussing there being a noon meeting, perhaps it's best for us or at least somebody else to wait for Shinji and the others here? Although if you want to leave, the choice is up to you, really. I don't mind."

The young woman quietly added to herself, cheeks slightly red: As long as I can be near you.

Armisael, Inquisitive

"Hello brother! Are you feeling better?"

...

Bardiel seems to be back in his old self. His third death didn't seem to change him very much.

"Hey Miss Ayanami? How are you this morning? Sachiel, good to see you've recovered. Armisael."

"Good Morning!"

"Kaji-san. I..I-I am fine. Breakfast is almost over, but Sachiel and Armisael came late, so I cooked for them. Are you two hungry?"

She stammered, but continued to address the late visitors. I wonder what's bugging her.

-

Two more bowls of ramen are cooked into existence by Lilith...something about this Lilin meal makes me excited....the...radiance- no, something on the water vapor emanating from the bowl, the smell...perhaps it is just the vessel and not me..

This "Kajisan"...he reminds me of somebody...

"Where's Smith?"

There is a deep rush from my chest into my face...my face feels hot. That probably frightened them, I had no idea I said it so loudly until the air was pushed through the windpipes...where has he gone? I didn't hear him or see him after the meeting when...

...Mother...died....

My face loses its heat, and I stare blankly down at the table...

Mother's....not coming back again....

A drop from my eyes falls down onto the table, and I sit back up abruptly...I mustn't be like this. Smith has disappeared; Adam is resting again.

"Did anyone see Smith? Has..erm..anyone heard back from him?"

Lilith, Anew

And yet...I still make breakfast for both of them. No I have to. To not scare Bardiel into attacking my vessel.

"Where's Smith?"

? Smith...the man that called us to assembly. Armisael likes him, but she doesn't know it yet. Now shes...

why is she crying? Hm..

...I mustn't be like this. Smith has disappeared; Adam is resting again.

"Did anyone see Smith? Has..erm..anyone heard back from him?"

...

Adam...

It felt like Deja-vu.

She was sure she had seen it before, countless times, seeing Shinji appearing near the lobby, bags in each hand and carrying supplies, made Asuka smile softly as she remembered other times. Times when all she had to worry about was...

It was a bad case of Deja-vu.

Well, actually, it wasn't all that fond memories of times long past, especially when she remembered it as difficult times... like coming out of a shipwreck, and trying to stay afloat, holding onto some driftwood amidst a stormy sea and feeling like she was being pulled down while fighting and kicking and screaming all the way but all of this had ultimately been futile and she had felt like drowning.

Asuka shook her head, pushing those thoughts away and focusing on what was happening in front of her, Shinji at the entrance, followed by some stranger [insert Brian's description], before she stood there, noticing how Shinji's eyes seemed glazed over, mouth agape and looking almost as if he was in some sort of--

"Shinji?"

Hearing her voice seemed to make Shinji snap back to reality but something felt wrong, his skin seemed paler than usual, and he seemed to be shivering, looking wildly from Ritsuko to Maya to her, making Asuka walk down the stairs and go to him, taking one of the bags and in the process garb a hold of his hand, noticing they were sweaty, cold and clammy.

"Shinji?" Asuka repeated again, slowly, a touch of anxiety in her voice, not realizing, nor caring what was going around her; all she could hear was the incessant prattle of Maya and Ritsuko, but even that was just a mind numbing buzz.

"Shinji are you ok?" The question seemed to hold a lot more in it than Asuka would have liked, it held hope, but also regret and fear, fear of not knowing what had happened, and regret at somehow...

“Oh well it seems he has gone mute, had a few panic attacks, I wouldn't worry too much though. There is nothing physically wrong with him.”

"Mu-mute?" Asuka repeated dumbly, not noticing how the bag slid from her grasp, spilling the contents; water bottles, canned food, basic medicines and all on the floor.

"I-is he going to be alright?"

“Oh yes he will be okay given time, could take a while though.”

Asuka simply nodded, fighting the impeding feeling of running away, for the first time feeling the urge to escape from the eyes and presence of Shinji, feeling helpless by not being able to help him, relieving how it felt when she had been in the presence of Arael, defeated, and separated from everyone by that yellow ticker line; she recalled the anger and frustration and how she had reacted to Shinji's offered help.

But right now, the only thing going on in her mind, the only thing she could think off was one thought that came to her...

Have I done all I can?

Because all she could think of was how much it pained her, how much It hurt. It hurt her to simply be here, it hurt her to realize that when she opened my eyes, she will have to fight to survive... because...

"It hurts to know that Shinji might not be as I remember him..."

The words echoed softly and Asuka wanted nothing more than to just run as far as she could from those words replaying themselves in her mind; those clear and precise and modulated words that haunted her.

"What pain doesn't scar? Pain can not be overcome... but I can be put in its place, where you can work through the pain."

As breakfast finished, as the bowls, plates and cups were put away to be washed, as the room's population soon gathered to talk (save for Bardiel sitting in the back of the room by himself), I chose not to.

It was no problem falling into the background and slipping away, like salt dissolving in water. I faded away. I had to get away. It was starting to become too much. I needed time to think.

Out of the apartment I went, and up the stairs. I soon lost myself in the long flight, not caring where I was going, but just going. Going faster, and faster, the memories came back. I hoped the faster I went up that I could get away from them. But they only kept coming, stronger.

Monster.

Long before the thoughts would end, the stairs did, and I found myself on the roof. A light breeze chilled my skin, for I was without my jacket, but I did not care. It was refreshing, to experience this feeling. Any feeling at all.

It makes me feel human.

But you're not.

Perception of the world around me disappeared, the sky faded to black. Soon I was alone, in total darkness. It consumed me, bathed me in it's cold loneliness. But I wish I were alone.

You're merely a monster, trapped in a Lilin body. A wolf in sheep's clothing. Hiding beneath the innocent mask. Hiding your true self from the world around you.

No, that's not who I am. I was never that!

You were always that.

I ripped of my mask, throwing it to the ground. But it wouldn't go. It floated up in front of my face, as if staring me in the eye. A dark form of mass began growing out of it. Until I was finally looking at myself, but not myself. My old self. The monster me.

It's not me!

It's the only you.

Tears filled my eyes, as I fell to be knees in virtual nothingness. Each drop kept falling into the depths. The word "Monster" kept echoing in his ears. Over, and over again. Each felt like a stab in the heart, a broken heart that couldn't take much more.

Why can't I be human!? If I feel, and hurt like a human, then what makes me not a human!? I'm just like everybody else! No different!

Although I was now flat on the ground, it felt as if I was standing again. And the Angel, the monster that is me, my ringing reminder, was in front of me once again. The cold, dark holes that represented eyes stared straight at me. As if staring right into my soul.

That's not me! It's not me anymore!

It is what you're hiding. The you that is you. The Alpha and Omega of your existance. You were born as a monster, and you'll die as one too. And not matter how many times you are reborn, you'll always be this monster.

I felt myself breaking down. I felt myself giving into it. I felt myself losing. But I kept searching, searching for a way out, any way out. Something to escape.

Why do you fight it?

Because it's not true! It's not true! I'm human! Just like everybody else!!

Everybody else isn't a monster.

I couldn't take it anymore, I couldn't fight it. I screamed. I screamed so loud, and so long that it was sure to make it all go away. But it didn't

Monster

It ringed in my head, pulsing, pounding. But I just screamed, because I didn't want to listen to it anymore.

Monster

It only got louder, and louder. So I screamed louder as well. Not so much to drown it out anymore, but because it seemed like the only thing to do.

MONSTER.

And everything faded to black.

(OOC: Apparently Reichu wants us to write out Akira and Kyoko as if they never arrived (personally, I think I'm just going to write Akira out starting next Session)....unless somebody takes up the part of Kyoko, I guess. I think this'll be my last post in this thread, dunno yet. And the "cliff-hanger" of who's in front of Misato can be anybody, really. Though personally I'd think the shadow would be Shammy.) EDITED to fulfill a request of Reichu's.

Having some time to herself to just think about things, Misato let out a breath. I wonder....what would it have been like, if father was here? Would I have been able to forgive him for things? Could we have had a relationship the way fathers and daughters should?

The woman's body shook slightly as she scratched her cheek, frowning. At any rate, I wouldn't want to stay bitter at him...Father...so for his sake, I need to be strong. I can't let any anger get in the way; life is far too short for holding grudges. Whenever he is right now, I... She blinked back the sudden tears in her eyes. I want to make him proud of me.

Misato blinked at the sudden scream she heard. Where was it coming from?! Hoping whoever it was would be alright, Misato quickly let Pen Pen onto the floor of the lobby and ran up the stairs to the source. Noticing the door to the roof was open, Misato ran up.

Misato winced, adjusting her eyes to the bright afternoon sunlight. She noticed that former Angel, Sachiel, crumpled on the roof's floor. His mask lay nearby, his face covered by his somewhat long, messy black hair. What in the world happened?!

"Hey! Are you alright?! Wake up!" She lightly hit the boy's cheek, trying to wake him up. Biting her lip, Misato took in a breath, trying not to panic. Ritsuko was downstairs, wasn't she? Maybe she could help....

Misato's thoughts were suddenly interrupted however, when a shadow cast over her. Looking up at the source, somebody standing above her, she blinked. "Do you know Sachiel? We need to help him!"

***

As Maya discussed with Ritsuko and Brian--quite a nice man, really, about the current situation, she noticed Misato running, apparently to the source of that screaming. The woman was curious about what was going on, but knew Misato would be able to take care of things if need be.

Letting out a breath, Maya's gaze focused on her senpai for a moment. Although she still wasn't able to let the woman know her feelings, and knew it wouldn't make a difference, she still felt...

It..it didn't make the pain of wanting to being there for Ritsuko, of knowing she was in an unrequited love with the woman, go away.

Shaking her head, Maya turned her attention to a suddenly crying Shinji. Troubled, the former operator of Nerv gently put a hand on the boy's shoulder to comfort him, but he instantly pulled away from her. Trying not to show her hurt, Maya attempted to talk some sense into him.

"Shinji-kun, even if things are hard for you right now, you can't act like this. You know that, don't you?" He didn't give any reply.

Frowning, Maya leaned against the wall of the lobby, losing herself in her thoughts as she waited for the meeting to begin. In the back of her mind, the brown haired woman wondered whatever happened to Smith.

***

Shinji noticed Misato running up the stairs, but it didn't register with why she was in such a hurry, nor the screams from somewhere close by. He vaguely noticed Ritsuko giving him a stern look while she, Maya and Brian were talking to Asuka.

Why...do I have to feel this way? I hate it! First I feel myself panicking about things constantly, then suddenly can't talk when hearing about Kaworu-kun, then I have a panic attack and---WHY CAN'T I JUST BE MY OLD SELF AGAIN?!

Shaking, not knowing what to do, he desperately fought back the tears threatening to spill.

The boy felt like screaming, but he could only produce clearly distressed squeaks from the back of his throat instead. He suddenly noticed somebody taking a hold of his sweaty, cold hand.

Blue eyes met blue. "Shinji?" Anxiety was apparent in her voice. "Shinji are you ok?"

He tried to reply to the redhead, but no words came out. Only noises from his throat. Looking frustrated, he slowly shook his head no. He wasn't ok and he knew it.

"Mu-mute? I-is he going to be alright?"

Asuka simply nodded at the words of the former Nerv employees, and before Shinji realized what was happening, her warm hand slipped away from his.

He could sense Asuka's fear, anger, and sadness. He could sense her need of wanting to get away from him. Running away from him.

Running away from him.

As if...as if it was before they started dating. As if it was when they were just room mates and fellow Eva Pilots, living together in Misato-san's apartment. Constantly pushing each other away or not letting the other in. Because of pride, or fear, or the hatred they had for themselves. Self-hatred that continued to prevent them from loving themselves, let alone each other. Or other people.

Absolutely miserable, feeling like a failure, Shinji whimpered from his throat, burying his head into his hands to silently cry. Things couldn't possibly get any worse. Luke warm tears running down his cheeks, the sudden words people were saying to him didn't register. How...how would things ever get better for themselves or each other if they were still stuck in their stubborn old patterns of thinking?

Lilith - Ayanami Rei
Finale

Armisael curiosity remains unanswered. I do remember this...Smith...person...but I don't want to be reminded of that night. And yet...I have yet to sense him....anywhere....he was the first to befriend Adam's Children...Armisael...his jacket...I remember there was something different about him....something worth remembering....

Armisael turns to me, wearing a face wrought with fear and desperation...

"I don't know where he is. Somehow, in hours, he's managed to disappear completely."

That's all I can say right now. I'm sorry Armisael.

...

So.

Shinji is back. Asuka still doesn't know. I hope she will forgive me, but she probably won't.

Everything- everyone is falling. I feel the walls of the hearts returning, giving people strength and courage and character and personality and closing up around their head and isolating their masters from everyone else.

It has returned. Terrible normalcy. Today...I fear it. That the dream is over. That I've woken up, naked, sweating, in the night, fearing that the dream was over when it already was. And now I see myself clearly in the mirror. My image stares and I stare back. In the moonlight.

I am whole again, but in losing my innocence I also realize that no matter what, I will never return to simplicity, ever, by my hand.

Shinji. I haven't lied, and I can't take back what I said to him. I always wanted him, and now I can. And now I never can.

Adam...

I get that mad hope before I sleep. That you're with me. Sometimes I think that it is me who is driving others to insanity.

The cancer that should be cut out.
The different one that still harbors its energy to live without order.

I see Sachiel in anguish over simple words. He is truely "human" now, beyond all reason and law.

I look at the world that I helped to shape.

Adam...I'm still a child. I love you...and I want you to love me too. Come back to me....please...I need you.

Brian walked into the building with Shinji and was surprised when he saw many people in the lobby. As they noticed that Shinji could not talk, a red haired girl that looked to be about the same age as Shinji asked if he was okay.

“Oh well it seems he has gone mute, had a few panic attacks, I wouldn't worry too much though. There is nothing physically wrong with him though”

The red haired girl asked if he would be alright.

“Oh yes he will be okay given time, could take a while though.”

Brian saw the red haired girl run off, though at the moment he did not understand why, there were many things he needed to learn about this situation. He looked down at Shinji as he was softly crying into his arms, Brian softly put one of his arms around Shinji's shoulder and looked at him.

“Just relax Shinji, its all going to be okay.”

Brian looked up at all the others and decided this was the best time to introduce him self.

“Oh right, Hello everyone let me introduce my self. My name is Brian Leonard, I was a psychologist working for NERV ,though I guess since NERV doesn't exist anymore I'm a freelance psych so to speak. Nice to meet you all.”

Armisael of Adam
Finale

"I don't know where he is. Somehow, in hours, he's managed to disappear completely."

...Anyone.....nobody...nobody knows where Smith has gone...

Sachiel?

Where is he going...he seems more forlorn and dreary than I have ever seen him. Perhaps something one of the silly Lilin uttered?

...Fie! Nothing so diminutive...and yet I have yet to come up with another answer...Bardiel's behavior and abrasive attitude never seemed to truly get under his skin. Under his skin? What is under one's skin...suddenly I seem to use words simply flow out of my thoughts....an...an idiom! That's it.

He's going to the roof? !...No, he's just sitting there. Huh.

Ayanami...er, Lilith. I am still unsure which name to call her...whether she prefers the named she associates herself with during her Lillin life or her true name. Names. Funny things...still, I would like to ask her, if she didn't look like she was going to die. As of late, she looks more depressed than the last time I saw her...which was when Adam....when Adam...

Lilith had cared for Adam?! That's...how is that logical?! No...calm yourself...that was just a careless thought...there are a multitude of other possible explanations...I was just fooling myself-

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

SACHIEL! I push past people in the room and follow Sachiel's path, and fly up the cavity in the center of stairs with a speed that I've only experimented with within Lilim places of residence.. The particles of dust and other stuff suddenly take life as I pass through flights of stairs.

I...I feel something different...there's someone other than Sachiel on the roof...

The ceiling! That will be taken care of.

I use my aura to burn through the metal ceiling and into the intense rays of the afternoon sun. Molten metal slides down the facets of the aura, causing the field to emit neon orange concentric regular hexagonal shapes wherever they contact it.

Sachiel...his mask is left on the floor. I land next to it, and pick it up. He is a good five meters away, strewn on the rooftop, like he fainted. His Lilin face contrasts beautifully with his jet black hair...now spread over the ground. Ah, there is a Lilin female next to him, checking if he is alright. I will have to talk with him when he recovers...

I look up to the sky, and I see it. I feel myself explode. I see her. I see the impossible, the dream. But now I believe. Now I believe.

It's not a dream...it's not a dream!

Adam - Nagisa Kaworu
Finale, or What a Wonderful World

Ah! I never thought that I would enjoy simply traveling in space. I feel like I am free, with the elegant beauty of entropy surrounding me. It reminds me that tranquility is often not as it really seems. No matter, I am no longer traveling to stars. I am returning home.

Yui...was that...was that really Yui Ikari? She didn't seem like herself...like...not exactly herself.

Do you know why she resuscitated your children?

Yui...or the being that addressed itself as Yui...has a point. Why would she brings us all together on this planet, when it was decreed eons ago that that was not to be?

I must be wary of this snake...this "Yui";I...I am suspicious of her intentions. But somehow I find "Yui"'s prophecies - if I should even call it that - a little exaggerated. Somehow I resolutely believe that Lilith understood what I asked of her. Somehow I think it is all fine back at Earth. Somehow.

I look down on my Lilin breasts, and I feel that I have no use for their rather largish size...I am not interested in courting attention of males, nor do I use them as other Lilim females would to nurture offspring. I shall shrink them...

...ah, better. They are not in the way, but are not obliterated. Notably larger than my breasts when I had a male anatomy. Mmm...Now, I don't think I need to do anything with my long hair. I do not foresee any troubles that I will have with it. If something happens I can simply use my aura to take care of the problem...

I see a bright light flood my eyes, and I realize that a supernova had exploded...somewhere, hundreds of millions of years ago...

I feel a sinister chill down my back. What if...what if she wasn't? NO! Trust...I MUST trust my fellow friend...but I must stay on guard. So be it. I will take her words with a grain of salt and stay alert until I find the need to relax my suspicions. There. I have not betrayed my goals, nor anyone else's. This will be my oath, with Silence and Eternity as my witnesses.

The red planet is far behind me, and now I stop by the planet known to Lilim as Venus...with its thick vanilla colored clouds, and its pure-white streaks. I use my aura to open up a small hole in the clouds to see the ground below....blood red in some places, light brown in others...a large side of a mountain..or volcano...a handful of craters...some wrinkles here and there-

"Adam..."

LILITH?! What is this? How did she know I was alive?!

"I get that mad hope before I sleep. That you're with me. Sometimes I think that it is me who is driving others to insanity."

A transmission? But...she seems like she is talking to herself! No! I am picking up her thoughts....but I thought that I lost the skill to the sands of time...

"The cancer that should be cut out. The different one that still harbors its energy to live without order."

She....she lost...she lost hope...in my words...

"I see Sachiel in anguish over simple words. He is truly "human" now, beyond all reason and law."

What? Sachiel in despair?! I accelerate my vessels, leaving the Venusian clouds to open, like a Lilin yawning, in my wake. I see Earth now...

"I look at the world that I helped to shape."

Lilith, Sachiel, I'm almost there. God what happened to the others...

"Adam...I'm still a child. I love you...and I want you to love me too. Come back to me....please...I need you."

...oh no. Is...is this a trick?! How can I tell if she's planning something or not! YUI! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?! What have I done...

What have I done...I didn't expect her to be so vulnerable...I felt like she was able to joke around with without....oh no...why does she love ME?! She wants me to love her too...she wants me to love her too...I...I...don't know if she loves me or not...how does she know about love...

The Calamity!

No! This cannot be, how would I love her?! But...nooo...I must...I-I must keep to my oath...

The blue-and-green jewel. I'm home...I fly around and locate Japan and descend, using my aura to push the molecules aside to create a vacuum path and avoid burning my vessel to powder again. In a quarter of a second I descend down from the higher atmosphere to approximately 300 meters above sea level. I see the apartment, like a lone tree erect after a forest fire.

I descend, my silver hair dancing and flailing around. I remain in a standing, and I move near the roof to land and look for Sachiel..

Armisael? She just bolted through the-

Sachiel!!! His mask...he's unconscious on the roof top! WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM?!

Misato...Shinji's caretaker...she was present before Armisael was...

Ahh...I realize too late that my shadow is cast over the entire roof....and that both Armisael and Misato are staring straight at me.

"Do you know Sachiel? We need to help him!"

Misato doesn't recognize me. Armisael does. Sachiel's troubles will be addressed if I can reach his consciousness within his heart....

"Yes I know Sachiel; I know all of you. It's so great to see something alive again."

"My children, I am home once more."

Or am I? I do not know for sure anymore...I cannot be confidant anymore what lies beneath the skin, heart, and soul. Innate abilities. Warnings. Supposed Evidence. "Yui" has taken away my innocence and now I am left with suspicions of other people that I would normally assume honest and selfless...

I want to go back to how it was...when nobody had suspicions or plans anymore. Somebody save me...for I am too afraid to walk this path alone.

Lilith?