Un-MST/Audio Version Of Hellstrom Evangelion Found

[Pcnerdjack14]

Considered the Half Life: Full Life Consequences of Evangelion fanfic, Hellstorm Evangelion tells the epic story of Shinji and a Mary Sue named Issei Malatioun, as they battle the devil (no really) and his army of demons. For the longest time, this top contender for the worst Evangelion fanfic has only been available in an admittantly funny MSTing by Elmer Studios, and a audio reading of the story. But now, for the 1st time in (insert time the original has been lost). I have restored the original fanfic to it's original form using the Elmer Studios MSTing, so special thanks to the guys there.

With the exception of removing the author's email address, I left the story 100% untouched for your reading pleasure.

Now that just leaves the question, so I post it here, or just give a link? I'll let you guys decide.

[BrikHaus]

Pcnerdjack14 wrote:

But now, for the 1st time in (insert time the original has been lost). I have restored the original fanfic to it's original form

I already did it a couple of years ago. So this is actually "for the 2nd time."

But feel free to link/post your own version.

_________________
My old blog died, here's a crappy new one.
-"That purace has more badassu maddafaakas zan supermax spaceland."
-On EMF, as a thread becomes longer, the likelihood that fem-Kaworu will be mentioned increases exponentially.

[Pcnerdjack14]

You did? Oh well, it's nice to hear someone else feels that this "masterpiece" should be read in it's untouched form.

I will post it tommorow.

[Pcnerdjack14]

Now before we begin, three notes.

1. Any notes I make in the story will be italicized, so if you wish to ignore, it will be easy.
2. Since the story is six parts, I will give each part a post.
3. I will not do Evangelion II: Delta Invasion, because even with it being MST'd, it is borderline unreadable.

Now that we have that out of the way. Happy reading.

Hellstorm evangelion
by - Iseei Mataloun, the 6th Child

Note: this happens after episode 17 when shinji killed Kaoru. since I diodn't understand them, we'll pretend the 25-26 episodes did not happen and say that the story goes on right here. Hope you enjouy my first fanfic!!!

Shinji was laying on his bed crying. it hadd been 7-8 hour since he killed Kaoru and he was really sad. misato has been cold about Kauru's death and didn't even have nice words to say to Shinji. Asuka and Rei didn't even talk to Shinji anymore. so no one would help him through it. he was alone.

Then in his room he heard a wisper. he looked over to the door and a light was gleaming underneath the door. The voice sayed "you did good Shinji. you killed God's best fighters." he voice was really quiet and scary sounding. Shinji almost wet himself when he heared it!

"Who's there?!?" shinji sayed in a scared voice. no answer came. Finally the door opened and a red man came in. he had a pitch fork and red skin and a crooked beard. he smiled evily at Shinji. When Shinji looked at him he wet his pants. The yellow pee went all over his blankets. "Hi Shinji I'm the devil nice to meet you." Shinji waved at the scary man and sayed "hi how do you know my name????"

"You really popular in hell, kid. You killed 17 of God's angels and we all like you."

"Really? Thank you." Shinji sayed his face happy.

"Yeah kid want to work for me and hell?"

"Um...no I better not."

"Why not kid? what do you have here?" the devil sayed with a weird look on his face.

"Well...um....I have to stay here. I have a lot of peole here I care about." Shinni sayed he was getting ever scareder now.

"Oh well I tryed." the devil sayed that and he was walking away back to the door.

"Wait!!!! Shinji sayed. "What are you going to do?"

"I going to destroy the world." the devil sayed as he stroked his bushy beard.

"WHAT?!? WHY????"

"I don't like humans." the devil sayed. "Since God couldn't kill you off, me and my demons will. You and the rest of mankind is deadmeat kid."

Shinji stood up from his bed and looked hero like. He was scared but he wouldn't let the devil see it. "I won't let you. I'll kick your ass if you try somethong like that."

"Suit yourself kid" sayed the devil as he vanished.
*************

When shinji woke up the next day he went to Misato and told her what happened rto him. when he was done, Misato had a worried look on her face.

"OH NO!! We have to tell Gendo!!!!!!"

Shinji moened. He didn't like his dad at all. He was such a mean guy. But if Misato though that was for the best then it would be smart to do it.

Misato grabed the celluar fone. She dialed gendo's number and when she told him what happened, gendo laughed. Misato asked "What's so funny sir???"

"That so funny!!!! Maybe the idea of finishing off the angels has made you a little batty, but you think the devil's going to try to kill us??? hahahahahaha!!!"

Right after he sayed that an explosion was hearded over the fone. Followed by gendo's heavy breathing. A lot of loud buzzes were heared over the fone and Misto looks scared. Finally Gendo came back on the fone and sayed "We need the Third Child NOW!!! there's something attacking Tokyo 3!!!"

"we're on our way" sayed Misato. She grabed Shinji and pulled him out of the appartment and into her car. They drove really fast toward Nerv and saw something werird. All of the people and cars that were usually in the street were gone. gendo must have called a curfew already. Nowing that she went even faster.

When they were almost there, they saw the monster. It was 2000 ft. tall and was really fat and ugly. it had horns, red skin, and really REALLY sharp fangs. Shinji wet his pants again.

Misatto said "Wow look that thing! IT'S HUGE! AND UGLY! I wonder... hey, Shinji you wet youself! You nasty boy! you better clean that up NOW!!"
*************

When Shinji and Misato got to nerv Gendo was nowhere to be found. When they looked really hard they saw him at his desk looking angry. Shinji didn't look at nhis dad....he HATED his dad! He didn'y want to look at him so he didn't.

"We need Shinji to beat this thing up for us. It's really strong and we don't have any pilots. asuka's in a comma, Toji left, Shinji killed Kaoru and Rei... well I won't SAY where Rei is!!!!!" gendo smiled as he said that.

You bastard Shinji thought. I didn't WANT TO KILL KAORU!!!! Shinii almost cryed when he thunk that but he didn't cause it would be embarassing.

Then Hyuga came in. He smiled and winked at Misato and sayed "Hi cute-stuff guess what?"

Mistao looked at her boyfiend and sayed "What????"

Hyuuga sayed "This bugger ain't no angel. It something we never seen before... something stronger. I don't know if we can beat it up with EVA."

"It's a demon from hell" sayed Shinji. "this is what the devil told me about he sayed he was going to kill mankind with demons. So I'm going to beat him with Eva cuz I told the devil that I wouild beat him."

"ok Shinji" Misato sayed. "Go into the dressing room and get into your plug suit."
*************

Shinji came out of the dressing room wearing his plug suit. He looked ready for action with a big smile on his face.

Misato gave him a big hug and Shinji walked into the entry plug. the little hole where he sat filled up with icky LCL and his lungs was filled with the stuff. it still tasted nasty but Shinji had to live with it!

Misato yelled "EVA 1!!!!!! LAUNCH!!!!!"

The eva launched and Shinji was outside. It was a warm day in Tokyo 3........but then he saw the demon! It was alot taller than the Eva and it was snarling.

"I'LL GET YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Shinji screamed as he took out the Eva's knife and ran toward the demon. The demon laughed. Shinji tryed to stab the demon but the demon grabed the knife by the blade and broke it in two. After that he laughed some more and flung its blood on the Eva.

"This planet is OURS!!!!!!" shouted the demon.

"I don't THINK so!!!" screamed Shinji. He then punched the demon in the face and the demon flew ten ft. away. But when the demon hit the ground, some beams came out of its eyes and hit the Eva. The beams melted the Eva;s chest and it gave Shinji heart burn. He WOULDN'T let this demon beat him up!

"My name is Ramama and I will be the one to kill you!!!!" shouted the demon.

Ramama growled and jumped on top of the Eva. he began punching it really hard. Shinji screamed as the demon hurt him. Ramama shot some more rays of light at Shinji and it hurt even more.

Finally Shinji sayed "I've have enough of this!!!" and punched Ramama in the jaw. He was so mad that it made Shinji 1000000000 times stronger and the punch broke Ramama's jaw. Shinji then took out the EVA's gun and pointed it at the demon and shot him six times. The demon screamed as he died and his blood shot out everywhere. Finally, the demon felled on the one of the buildings and broke it.

Shinji felt proud. He had kicked this demon's ass and now he could go home in time to watch Ruroni Kenshin.
*************

Shinji was in front of the TV watching Sagara and Himura beat the crap out of each other when something happened. Himura went to the front of thew TV and looked at directly at Shinji. Himura's face then changed into the devil's and smiled evily. Misato, who was watching because that of cute guy Himura, spit out her beer and almost choked.

The devil looked at both of them and sayed "You may have beat Ramama, but he was a wuss compard to my other demons. WE WILL TRUMPH!"

Shinji stood up and sayed "Oh Yeah?!? Well, we''ll just see about that!" And kicked the telebision screen and broke it.

Misato went SD then grabed Shinji and screamed "WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR SHINJI????? YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH THAT COST??????"
*************

To be cont.

I hope you like my first fanfic!!! Sorry, but I'm a crappy typer and my brother wont help me out!!! I'll have the rest of these parts up soon...... I just need to type them! In the next part I'll show you the sixth child (Issei) and he and Shinji will team up to beat up an even harder demon! Stay tuneD!!!
- Issei Mataloun

[Pcnerdjack14]

Hellstorm Evangelion
Part 2: The new Kid
by - Issei malatoun

NOTE - All right! Here's the second part of this awesome series! You ready for some KICK ASS action?? This part will be even more exciitng than the last........... It even have FAN SERVICE!!! I hope you really like it!!!!
*****************

Shinji was having the dream again. it had been ten nights since he kiucked Ramamama's ass and the dream kept on coming. All that it was was the devil laughing at him and a fire burning EVA 1 and Shinji was inside! Shinji alwauys woke up from dreams like this with sweat all ofver his body and wet underwer. He cryed sometimes.

So when Shinji got up to fix hiself some barekfast, he notised that Mistao was nowhere to be seen! All that was left was Penen, the pengin who who was also looking for food. Shinji went into Mistaio's bedroom and found a note. it said Shinji, I went to Hyuuga's house for the night. Please feed penpen in the morning.

Shinji moened. He couldn't feed this greedy Pengiin. He had more things to worry about, like the devil;'s army of demons.

Just then the fone rang and shinji picked it up.

"Hello?????" he Sayed.

"Hi Shinji this is the devil again!!!!"

"What do you want, you jackass???"

"Just wanta let you know that the nexdt attack will be to day. have a nice day." and then he hung up.

"Shit!!!!!!!!!!" shinji yelled as he ran into his room and put on asome clothes. He then grabedx his headphones and put on some Woo Tang and ran out like a flash!!!
*****************

It took Shinji ten ours to make it to Nerv since he to run since he didn;'t have a car. When he got there, Misato and Hyuga were talking to a pale little kid wearing a black Rage Aganst the Machineshirt. he had bleu eyes and green hair. Shinji couldn't hear what they were satying.

Misato say Shinji and sayed "Hi Shinji!!!!! Come here and meet your new patrner!!"

Shinji sayed "PARTNER?!?!?!?!?!?!?! This little KID??!??????"

Whenever he sayed that, the little kid giot a HUGE HAMMER and smashed Shinji over the head. Shinji went to the floor and began shaking. The little boy laughed and sayed "My name is Issei Malatioun, the 6th child. I may be only 12 but I'm 1000 times smarter than you, bro!!!!"

Shinji got up and yelled "I can't work with this guy!!!!" Shinji knew that it shoudl have been KAORU who was his partner, not this little bastard!!!

Mistao shaked her head and sayed "Tough titty Shinji you can't CHOOSE your partner we do. And with all of the other kids either dead or..." She stopped cuz the alarm was going off.

A voice from the speaker sayed "SECOND DEMON COMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Shit!!! That's what I came to wanr tyou guys about!! The devil sent the 2nd demon today! he told me when he called!!"

Misato sayed "WHAT?!? the devil called OUR HOUSE?!?!?!?!?!?!?"

Issei sayed "This looks bad doesnt it? Well we'd better be off Shinji. We got some Demon ass to kick!!!!!!"

Shinji sayed "Hell no! I'm not working with a little brat like you!!!!!"

Issei yelled "Quit arguing you little prick!!! We got work to do!!!"

Misato sayed "Listen to issei! He's making more sense than you!!!"

Shinji shook his head and sayed "Nononononono!!!!"

That made Misato desperate! She opened up her jacket and thre it to the ground! Then she unbuttoned her shirt and let Shinji look at her HUGE tits. Shinji stared at them and had a noseblleed then past out.

"Drag him to the entry plug Issei................" she sayed as she put her shirt back on.

Issei picked him up and wiped the blood off his face and sayed "Sure gorgeous!!!"
*****************

Issei got into EVA 2 and Shinji got into EVA 1. Shinji was so pissed! he got so excitid about seeing Misato's thingies that he was drug into the EVA. He would have to fight with that little brat.

Issei sayed ofer the intercom "Hey Shinji hope you're ready for the fight!!!"

Shinji didn't say anything back. He was too pissed.

"EVA'S UNIT ONE AND TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LAUNCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The 2 Eva's were now on Tokyo 3 and there was the demon. he was totally blank and was made of nothing but FIRE! He was so bright that both kids almost went blind from looking at it!

"My name is Gapos!!!!" it sayed in a scary voice.

Eva 2 stood still but Shinji was so pissed that he didn't pay atentioon. "DIE!!!!!!!" he yelled and he ran to it and tryed to grab it. But since ity was made of fire, it burned the hands ofEva 1 and Shinji yelled and ran away.

"Think before you act stupid!!!" Issei shouted and grabed his knife. he set the cordinates to -10000 degress on the knife and threw it to the demon. It went into the demons stomach and Gapos yelled.

"You damn kid!!!!!!" It yelled "I'll tear you apart!!!!!!" he then sent some flames at the two evas and it burned both boys. They both cryed and yelled!

Issei shouted to Shinji "Shinji................ we need something that kills fire!!!!!"

After that Shinji knew what to do he jumped away from the fire and went behind a bilding and grabed a GIANT fire hose. The demon went to Shinji and threw all of its fire at him but Shinji threw tjhe hose over to Issei befroe he did.

Issei turned on the hose and pointed it at Gapos! It made the Demon turn into smoke as it screamed in pane and agony. "I'll.....get..........you......!!!!!" Gapos said as it died.

The boys shouted "EXCELLENT!" at the same time. the seocnd demon was DEAD!
*****************

As Shinji went into his house he went straight into his room. He jumped on his bed but when he did someone said "ouch!!!" Shinji got up and saw that Issei was lying on the bed!

"ISSEI!! WHAT are you doing in my bed?!?!"

"Lying down!" Isei sayed.

"I KNOW THAT! But your in MY bed!!!!"

Misato came in and sayed "Issei will be living with us from now on! Deal with it!!"

"But I don't WANT to live with a creep like him!"

Issei sayed "I dont either but life's tough. Now quit worrying about thjis shit and start worrying about the demons!!!"

Misato sayed "Be nice to Isei wile hes here. Who knows you two may become lovers!!"

Shinji sayed "WHAT?!? But I'm not gay!!" he sayed even tho he knew that was a lie! he only loved kaoru though so he wasn't going to fall in love with Issei either!!!

Issei sayed "But I am. Why do you think I didn't have a nosebleed whe Misato showed me her tits?!?"

Misato then gave Issei a noogie and sayed "Hey you!!!" The two laughed while Shinji watched them until he syarted laughing too. Maybe life with Issei wouldn't be THAT bad!!!
*****************

To be cont.
That's it! Now I'm not going to make the love between Issei and Shinji TOO mushy...there will still be LOADS of fights between Eva's and Demons. Watch out for the next part....................someone important is going to DIE!!

[BrikHaus]

LOL! I had forgotten how amazing this is. It is by far the best Eva fanfic of all time. OF ALL TIME! Anno should have used this as the template for Rebuild.

_________________
My old blog died, here's a crappy new one.
-"That purace has more badassu maddafaakas zan supermax spaceland."
-On EMF, as a thread becomes longer, the likelihood that fem-Kaworu will be mentioned increases exponentially.

[Pcnerdjack14]

BrikHaus wrote:

LOL! I had forgotten how amazing this is. It is by far the best Eva fanfic of all time. OF ALL TIME! Anno should have used this as the template for Rebuild.

Yeah, it's pretty mindblowing. Now, the next epic installment.

hellstorm Evangelion
Part Two: When soemone dies (Yes, there are two part twos)
by - Issei Mataloun, the 6th chlid

NOTE: Heres part two of hellstorm evengelion!!! This part will be sadder than their other two so you may cry!! Its okay some of my friends did when they reid it!
************

Shinji was laying in the abth tub and he was thinking about what had happened the passed days. When he thunk thoughts like that it made him ready for battle and he just wanted to kick the devils but so bad! But insted he just rolled arounmd in the beth tub.

Then when shinji thot he was alone someone opened the door. Shinji got existed cuz he thoght it was the devil so he got out of the tub and punched the guy in the face but when he got up he saw that he hasd hit Issue in the face!

Shini sayed "ISSEI!! What are you doing peeping on me like that!?!?!?!?"

Issei got up and got his huge hammer and hit Shinji on the head! "Mistao just got a call from you dady he sayed another demon is coming!!!"

"A DEMON?!? I better get dressed!! Wait for me Issei!"

"Ok by the way nice butt!!"

Shinji blueshed and screamed "GET OUT!!" then he got dressed.
************


They all whent to Nerv in Misato's car. When they got there gendo was at his desk look mean. Futski was beside him and was rubbing Gendo's shoulders. Gendo huffed and pufed as he did it.

"Shinji,Issei we got a problem!"

"What is it?!?" Issei sayed.

"Our comp the Magi found the 3rd demon today but we don't know where it is!! All we know isd that its somewhere on Tokio 3."

"So what are we going to do about the missing demon?!?!?!?!?" Shinij yelled.

"I don't know sayed Gendo

Just then a sound was herd somewhere. everyone looked for wherew it came from and they saw Asuka wearing the hospitle robe and with messed up hair. she had dark eyes and a weird look on her face.

"Asuke! " Shinji sayed "Your better?!?!?!"

Asuka growled and sayed "I am not asuka! I the the great demon lord Jizujo. I will KILL all of you! Hahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!"

When she saued that Gendo got a gun and pointed it at her. but Asuka let her hand out and a tenticle shot out and hit his hand and Gendo drooped the gun! She then strangled him with it. Then some more tentlices came out of her hand and strangled everyone else!

"Hahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!! I got everyone now I will kill all of you!!!! Huh??? Whata minet!! Where's that little one with the green hair?!?!?!?!" sayed Jizuho. he looked around for issei but didnt find him! Where was he?!?!?

Then Issei got under the table and got the gun Gendo dropped and pointed it at Asuka. He sayed "let my freinds go or I'll shoot you!!!"

The demon sayed "YOu won't shoot me cuz this is asuka's body and if you do shoot me she will die!!! Hahahahahahahahahahaha!!!" Tghen a little voice from Asuka sayed "Shoot me!!!! It's the only way to kill this demon! Do it or he'll kill EVEWRYONE!!!"

"I'M SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" sayed Issei as he shot her in the head. Her head exploded and blood went EVERYWHERE. her body shook as she died and then finally she was dead. The tenticles then dispeared.

Shinji ran over to the body and sayed "OH GOD!!! Shes dead!!!!!!!!!" He started cryi ngand whining. Issei started crying to. Gendo just looked at it and smiled.

Issei hugged Shinji and sayed "let go home!" So they went back to Misato and went home!
************



Issei and Shinji layed on his bed and were crying. Asuka was now dead dead dead dead!!!!! and there was nothing he could do about it other than cry!

Then the devil came into the room and did a weird dance. Shinji and isei looked at him and screamed "WE'll get you bastard!!!!!!!" and jumped at him. but when they did that they just went through him cuz he was transpert.

"haha I killed one of your friends!!!! She's dead and you can't do ANYTHING about it!! Hahahahaha!!!" sayed the devil.

"Issei sayed we;'ll get you devil! We'll bet your ass!!!!!"

"As if!!!!" sayed the devil and laughed and vanished.

Shinji cryed some more and Issei kised him. He sayed "don't cry Shinji it makes me so sad to see you sad." So Shinji stoped crying the both of them went to sleep together.
************

Yeah, I know there was no evas in this one but I still think it s cool!!! My friend sayed this series kicked ass until I made this part then it was sad!!! Don't worry the next part wont be this sad!! it'll have a lot of action! Yeah baby!!!!!!!
- Issei Mataloun

[Pcnerdjack14]

The next two chapters were harder to edit, so it might be a bit incosistent, but I hope that doesn't ruin it for you, actually it might add to the insanity of it all. Enjoy

"Hell Storm Evangelion"
PART FOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"A KIDNAPPING"

Yeah right man!! This part isn't sad and it KICKS ASS! I rote the last three parts in a hurry tho so the tyuping maty be worse than the others!!! SOOOOOORRRYY!!! it still kicks ass tho!!!

Issie went into gendo's room and sayed "I can't believe we had to kill ASUKA!!!"

Gendo sayed "Yes we are nerv and fight demons and we must do this to save mankind"

"But I din't wont to save man!!! I LOVE SHINJIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!"

Gendo got madd and sayed "what the HELL!?!?!?!?! You little mother fucker!!!!!!" Isse got out the gun he shot asuka with and sdayed "Up yours" and shot him. Gendo's head exploded and blood went everywhere. Then issei shot him in the stomach and his guts and intestnes flew up to the seeling and splatterecd all of the place. He had killed him!!!

Then a demon jumped out of his head and sayed "I am JUHGY!!!!!!!! I am the fourth demon!!!" Then Issei shot him a lot of times and he died too.

Issei laughed and sayed "I didn't even have to get in my Eva!!! hahahahaha!!!" Then a alamr went off and a voice sayed "ANOTHER DEMON CUMS!!!!" Issei sayed shit and got into the closest! He came out in his black suit and starts singiing a KORN song!! LOW RIDER!! YEAH!!!!!!!!

Then Shinji came out and got into his Eva and Issei did too. The Evas gave ech other high faves and went out into the Tokyo3 and saw another demon!! it wasbig and hary and have BIG claws!! The claws hit Issei and sent him flying and shinji tryed to hurt him but the same thing happened!!!! Then the demone sayed "I AM ATOGRO!!!!!!! AND I WIL BE YOU EXECUSHIONER!!!" But that made Issei mad and he sayed "NO DEMONS GONNA CONTROL ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Then he punched him in the face, kicked him in the ass and pokes his eyes and rips his head off!!

EVA-02 sqeezed the brain and brain juices whent everywhere and Then the body stated shaking alot. The n it blew up. Then Issei and shuinji jumped out of the evas and ran back to NERv and Misarto was waiting there smiling.

She drank some coffeee and sayed "Guess what!!! Risuko out'of prison now we can party!!!!!" Then they went home and Ristuko was there and had a bunch of beer. Issei sayed "Can I HAVE SOME?!?!?!?!?!" Then everyone sayed "Your so funny Issei!! HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!" Then they partyed.

The next day, Issei woke up besidees Shinji and sayed "You klnow shinji those demons have been possesessing people alot now times."

And shinji nodded and sayed "Yeah and we have to kill our friends and my dad even thou he was a asshole and I'm glad he died. I still say it sucks!!!!!!!!" I hope that never happens to you shi ji and he sayed "Yeah me too!!!!!" Then they kissed and have sex.

Outside Kaji was walking around and Misarto came out and saw hima nd sayed "HOLY SHITY!!!!!!!!!!!! Your alive and Kaji sayed "Yeah now I can sleep with yoi more!!!"

Then Misato kicked him in the balls and he spit them out and sayed "No way man I love Hyuga now!!!! He's my man!!!!!!!!!!!"

Thenm Kaji exploded and a demon came out and sayed "Hahahahahaha!!! I'll take you hostej!!!!!!" And Misato sayed "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"

Issie and Shinji JUMPED out and say and sayed "SHITTTTT!!!!" and the demon dispaeeared with Misarto. "Damn!!!" Iseei sayed. "Where could they go?!?!?!" Shinji aked and screamed. "I have an idea Shinji let's go back to our room!!!!!" Issei sayed. Then they did.

To be cont.
THAT'S ALL!!! I bet you can'ty wait for the next part huh?!?!?!?? I hope you like it and befour I go I wanna say FUCK YOU to all the people who signed my guestbook and sayed stuff like "You little fagat" or "You SUCK". Fuck you!! I kick ass and so do my stories!!!!! I work hard for these things and if you don't like them bite me and you don't have to rite shittyn thinks in my guestbook!!!! Let me alone!!!!

[Pcnerdjack14]

Hellstorm Evangelion pt. 5
"Issei and his Prowes"

Issei and Shinji found a portal under his bed and sayed "WOW!!! it's a portal to hell!!! I bet that's where they took misato and how the devil came into our house!!"

"Good thinking Issei!!!!!"

So the two dudes wnet into the portla and went into hell. A lot of fire was in hell and it was HOT!!!! Fire flashed across Isseis face a scar apared on it. Issei sayed "SHIT!!! I'm hurt!!!!" But Shinji got a 1st aid kit and made it all better. "good thing I brot this or you could have bled a little." Issei sayed "thanks" and kept on going.

Then they wenmt on and found a sword with a demon head on the hilt. issei picked it up and sayed "WHOA!!! This kicks ass! I better take this incase we see a demon. Then they heard anoise and turned their heads and say that it was Hyuuga following them with a mashine gun. Issei and shinji laughed and sayed "hahahaha!!! bout time you got here to save your woman!!!!

Ready to kick some demon ass!!!" Hyuuga sayed hell yeah they took my woman and I rerally pissed. Let's GOOOO!!!!!!!"

They all shoutred and hollered and cheered and sayed that they were ready tokick some demon ass and stuff. So they walked around the bwles of hell for a while and saw wierd stuff like a flying demon with BIIIIIG claws and a lot of fangs!!!!

Issei sayed "OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!!!!!!!" And got hios gun and shot it and it died!!

Shinji sayed "You KILLED A DEMON!!!!!" And kissed him. issei was happy!~!

Then a nother monster came up that looks like a giant lizard and it screemed and sayed "I am the KING OF THE LIZARDS!!!!!!!! And I'll kill you gay punks!!!!!!" But Issei got his sword and stuck at the monster and the sword got a lot of light around it and the lizard king vaportized and Issei laughed!!!

"Hahahahahaaha!!!" I found a magic sweord that can kill even the devil!!!! We can beat him with this!!!!!"

Then they went on and saw the demon with Misato and Hyuuga sayed "YOU DEMON DICK!!!! I KILL YOU!!!!!!"

Hyuuga started shooooting it and the demon laughed and sayed "I Love women and this one will be my bride and you cannoty have her!!!!!!!!! I AM MOXART!!!!!" Then the demon roared and throwed Misato to the side and grew HUGE!!!!!!!!

Issei and Shinji sayed "OH NO!!! We can't fight him without our EVAS?!?!?!?"

hyuuga yelled "What are we gonna do?!?!?!?!?!?!?!"

But Isseui had a plan. He didn't want to use his powers rifht now but I guerss he had to! SO, HE PUT HIS HANDS TOGETHER AND A SHOWER OF LIGHT PENTRATED HIS BODY AS HE SAYED "I NEED YOURE POWERS, MIGHTY ANGELS WHO DIED BEFORE ME!!!!!!!" And the two eva's came in and Shinji sayed "How did you dfo that Isei?!?!?" And he sayed "I can't tell you right now but wait till we get out and I will okay?!?!?!?!" And shinji sayed "OKAY!!!" they jumped into theur evas and got into positions.

the demons sayed "Yiou still can't beat the great Moxart!!!!!!" Then Shinji got out his gun and shot moxart in the haed and sayed "DIE!!! DIE!!! DIE!!!" But he wanted dead.

Then Moxart got out his tenticle and stabed Issei in the stomach but iIseei got out his knife and cut it off and then stabbed the demon with it!!! The demon screrwed as Blood speweed out of his hiole and her died!!!

Then the 2 boys got out if the evas and went to see if Misato was okay and she was! She sayed "OH, Im glad youi 2 are okay but Issei how did you get the EVAs donw here HUH?!?!"

Isseio put his ead down and sayed "I have to tell you everything now, but lets get back to Earth first." Then Issei raised the sword and in a flash of light they were all back at Nerv!!!

TO be cont.
Hahahahahaha!! Next parts the last one where all of the misterys are shown!!! And it's kinda sad too but it kicks ass and its a happy ending!!!! LETS GET READY TO ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Pcnerdjack14]

"Hellstorm Evangelion"
Part 6
Final Hellstorm
Death of Issei

Yeah!! The last part!! First I would like to thank everyone who send me mail saying that they LIKE Hellstorm Evangelion!! I'm glad that I can entertane people and they like what I rite!! But to the people who sayed nasty stuff and were dicks, I have two words.........suck it!!! (I LOVE Degenration X!!!!)

Everyone was in Misatos house, Issei, shinji, Misato, Futski, Hyuga, Risuko, and Penpen. They were all sitting on the couches and chairs ready to hear Issei's story but issei wasn't sure if he wanted to tell them yet! Cuz he KNEW who the next demon woul be!!! And he would be the worst of them all.

"Issei issei tell us, who ARE you?!?!"

Issei gulped and fanned himself. Should he tell them? He didn't know? What to do, what to do, what to do.........then he tol,d them. "I am the 18th angel!!!!!"

Everyone went SD then and sayed "WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!" Misato got up and sayed "But I thought they was only 17 of them?! Isnt that was the Dead See Scrolls sayed?!?!"

"Yeah, but God found out that Satan was about to attack the earth so he made me and sent me to fight. The devil has been our enenma for a long long time and we have to fight him using iour powers but then this is the final battle!!! Now we must protect humans from his evil!!!"

"But didn't ethe angels want to kill us too?! n Yeah they were sent to kill us!!!"

"No, but Gendo made them want to kill them cuz HE WAS A DEMON!!!! He was hired by the devil to do hisa work and he did it!!! He made the eva sand made his kids kill everyone!!!!! That's why Kaoru tryed to save humans by sacrfcing himmself." He say Shinji start crying. "I"m sorry Shinji!!!"

Shinji cryed "I KILLED KAORU FOR NOTHING!!!!"

"I'm so sorry SHINJI!!!" And then they kised and issei went on and sayed "so that's why Gendo wanted to kill all of then agnels and then he was gonna help satan destory the world!!! but then God sent me and I killed him now I just have to kill the devil!!! You see, Satan and Gendo were lovers and they were in love and they were goingto die together with the world!!!!! Thats why the devil'sbeing so agresive now!!!! AND ONLY WE CAN STOP HIM!!!!"

"So we have to back to hell?!?!?!" Hyuuga sayed, sad cuz he had just got Misato back from the demon, Moxart and wanted to get layed.

"NO We gotta wait cuz the devil'son his way here right now. I can feel him coming!!!!" Issei sayed and everyone gasped!!!!
*************************

The devil wasangry and he was ready to kick some little kid ass!!! He sat on his throne in hell and he looked at his hecnman Woodie. he asked Woodie "Have all my demons been killed on the battlefeld?!"

Woodie looked at him with his 1 eye and sayed "Yessssss, my masssssster!!!! Issssssssei, that damn angel kid hasssss killed off all of our ssssssoldiersssss. What are you gonna do about it, ssssssir?"

The devil stuck out his hand and sayed "Talk to the hand!!!!!!!" And a sil;ver hand made out of light cameout and strangled Woodie. Woodie screamed and shouterd as he was strangled and then he died. His head pooped off and blood stuck to the seeling.

"I will kill those kids and they will all die!!!" He sayed as he got out his SWORD Of EVIL!!!! Then he telepoted to earth and went down the street, killing everyone who passed by.

A man walking down the street saw the devil and sayed "OH MY GOD!!! It's the devil!!!!" And then the devil sayed "hahahahahaha!!! I will be the last thing you ever msee!!!!" Then he cut hin in half and his guts fell onthe floor and made a bloody mess. Then a women walked by him and sayed "It's the devil! I better call the police!!!!" Andf then he slaped her and cut her head off and stomped on her bones!!! Nthe devil is a bad motherfucker.........but he would get his just deserts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*************************

Then Issei and Shinji werewatching Fist of The Northstar when a news broodcast interped and Shinji sayed "Damn it!!!! Ken was about to make Jaggi explodeded!!!!" But then the news broodcaster sayed "The devil is in Tokio3 and is killing everyone on the street!!!! The police tryed to stop him, but they all died!!!!!!" Then the new broodcaster exploded and his head hit the camerea and his blood went everywhere on it!!!!!! Then thedevil came on tv and pushed the body over and sayed "ISSEI!! Come and get me if you dare!!! I will rip you apart and you will die a bloody death and I will eat your kidnee!!!!! hahahahahahaha!!!!!" Then he jumped to the left and and started killing people again.................

"HE'S insane!!!!" Shinji sayed.

Then Issei got into the closet and gotthe SWORD OF POWER!!!! And sayed "Lets go kick his ass!!!!!" Then Shinji got his gun and they ran off to the telelvision broodcasting sinter. The buses exploded so they had to run!!!
*************************

Issei and Shinji got tothe televisdion broodcasting station and say the devil eating a guys heart. He was wearing a red robe and high heels andf had a long beared that went to the floor and drug. Then the devil saw him and sayed "Issei!!! I will kill your gay ass!!!! I'm gonna make this room so ultraviolint!!" then he got out his sword out and sayed "YOU WILL DIE WITH THE REST OF THESE STUPID STUPID PEOPLE!!!!"

Then they swung they sword and they clashed and they did it again and they kept on fighting. Issei was kicked and the devil laughed when he say he hells go into Issei's crotch. Issei fell and the devil sent his swowrd into Issei chest and a glob of bloood came out of his chest and Issei fell on the ground and shook and died. Shinji cryed out and the devil laughed!!!!!!!

Then it was all quiet and and then Rei came out naked. She didn't have a expression on her face and then she got out and flew in a red cosmic light and sayed "You will not kill Issei!! I give my LIFE for him!!!!"

Then she exploded in a bloody mess and the blood splattered all over Issei like a tital wave. Then Issei's wounds healed and he got up and got his sword again! The devil looked at him and got worryed and sayed "It's time to fight using the children of LIILTH!!!" Then the devil grew HUGE and growled and sayed "Come and get me, pussys!!" So Issei levitated in the air and chanted "ANGELS, HELP ME NOW, BRING THE EVANGELIONS TO US!!!" Then Eva02 appeared and struck a pose as Issei flew into the entry plug and got ready to fight.

The devil ran tword Evangelion and Issei punched him in ther gut, thenj the Devil came back and swung at him and punched the Eva in the face. Issei shouted as he kicked the devil and he then got out his gun and started shooting the devil. Then the devil snarled and sayed "You bullets will not hurt me!!!" Then he started clawing at the Evas facve and Issei got mad and got out the prong knife and stabed the devil in the stomach and say him bleed. The devil screemed!! Then Issei sayed "ANGELS BEFORE ME, GIVE HIM A DEATH SO THAT THE PEOPLE HE KILLED WILL BE AVENGED!!!!!" Then the devils head exploded and his brain and pieces of his skull went flying everywhere and then his burst and blood came out his chest. Then his stomach opened up and his guts came spewibng out all over the floor Finally his whole body exploded and a foutain of blood went EVERYWHERE!!!!

Issei cheered!! Shinjii smiled!! It was all over!!!!! BUT..........................

At that moment, everyone heard a voice and it sayed "People of Earth, I am the Devil!!! Since I was killed by these little brats, I will show you no mercy!!! I will DESTORY THE WORLD and all of you will DIE!!!!!! Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!" Then there was a flash of light and world was on fire!!!! It was about to blow up!!!!

Shinji started crying and sayed "Is there any hope for us?!?!"

Issei sayed "Yes, there is!!!" Then he waved his hands and a magic door opened!!! "It is a door to heaven and I will bring everyone on earth here while the earth dies!! I will save EVERYONE!!!!!! Now, come on, Shinji!!!"

Shinji sayed "I love you, Issei!!"

The two kised and they hugged and went through the door. Then MILLIONS of doors opened up around the world and EVERYONE went thru them!!! The world blew up, but everyone was saved! The only thing from earth that spun in space forever was Evangelion-02 and Evangelion-01.................not even the devil could destory those!!! THE END!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Hellstorm Evangelion"
Epiloge

I rote this to make up for how short HELLSTORM EVANGELION parts 4 and 5 were.

Issei and Shinji were sitting by a lake, Issei was kissing shinjis neck when Shinji asked Issei a weird question. "Issei are you happy?" Issei looked at his love and sayed "Yes I am.....I am happy when I am with you."Shinji sayed "Yeah, but the worlds blown up and nothing is back there and wereall in heaven and were not doing anything!!!" Issei sayed "Yes but thedevil and your dad are both DEAD and no bad people exist and thinjgs are GREAT!~!!" Shinnji sayed "yeah but will we live like this in heaven forever?!?!?!" Issei noded and sayed "Yes" Then Shinji smiled and sayed "then I am happy!!!" Then they gopt up and went to the movies with Rei and Asuka.......AND PENPEN of course!!!!! THE END

Thanks go to............... MY BROTHER!!!!!!! For being really cool and helping me out with some of
the cool shit in this story and letting me watch EVA!!! And thanks for not telling our parents about this fanfic HUH?!?! THE DIRECTOR OF EVANGELION!!!!!!!!! For making the most kickass anime series EVER!!! Even better than Fist of the North Star and Rounin Keshin and (GASP!!!) Vampire Hunter D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY ENGLISH TEACHER!!!!!!!!!!!!! fopr always teling me to try my best and allways laughed at me and my jokes!!!!!!!! JIMMY, KIMMY, TOSHI, AND EVAN!!!!!!!!! For being the cooliest frend I cold ever have!!! YOU GUYZ KICK SOOOOOOO MUCH ASS!!!! AND THANKS TO SHINNJI!!!!! For BEING the sexiest anime dude ever made!!!!! hahahahaha!!! I love him!!!! Also look for "Issei Strikes Back!!!" A new oneshot seriees coming SOOOOON!!

No, we probably won't look out.

[Mr. Tines]

Once filtered into intelligibilty, that's actually a surprisingly cute story.

_________________
Reminder: Play nicely <<>> My vanity publishing:- NGE|blog|code|Photos|retro-blog|Fanfics|anime list
Avatar: Ireia Kitty wields a big hammer
“So who is the real Mr. Tines? The monster who'd smash a world, or the nice guy I'm hearing now?” —— The Blabber, Vernor Vinge.

[Mr. Tines]

Once filtered into intelligibilty, that's actually a surprisingly cute story.

_________________
Reminder: Play nicely <<>> My vanity publishing:- NGE|blog|code|Photos|retro-blog|Fanfics|anime list
Avatar: Ireia Kitty wields a big hammer
“So who is the real Mr. Tines? The monster who'd smash a world, or the nice guy I'm hearing now?” —— The Blabber, Vernor Vinge.

[esselfortium]

Is not.

_________________
A Terrible Flood - Cumulonimbus antagonistic debut album (2007)
Seventeen More Times - Followup album coming someday

NGE: The Cutting Room Floor, a fanfic by Lucretius and myself about the inevitable insanity of the off-days we didn't get to see.

The EGF version is more like "Shinji, an evil transsexual rapist who is incapable of love, learned nothing from his experiences and died as soon as the credits rolled." - Lucretius

[BrikHaus]

Hellstorm Evangelion is better than the entirety of the Role Playing Forum.

_________________
My old blog died, here's a crappy new one.
-"That purace has more badassu maddafaakas zan supermax spaceland."
-On EMF, as a thread becomes longer, the likelihood that fem-Kaworu will be mentioned increases exponentially.

[Merridian]

Quote:

Then Issei and Shinji werewatching Fist of The Northstar when a news broodcast interped and Shinji sayed "Damn it!!!! Ken was about to make Jaggi explodeded!!!!" But then the news broodcaster sayed "The devil is in Tokio3 and is killing everyone on the street!!!! The police tryed to stop him, but they all died!!!!!!" Then the new broodcaster exploded and his head hit the camerea and his blood went everywhere on it!!!!!! Then thedevil came on tv and pushed the body over and sayed "ISSEI!! Come and get me if you dare!!! I will rip you apart and you will die a bloody death and I will eat your kidnee!!!!! hahahahahahaha!!!!!" Then he jumped to the left and and started killing people again................. "HE'S insane!!!!" Shinji sayed. Then Issei got into the closet and gotthe SWORD OF POWER!!!! And sayed "Lets go kick his ass!!!!!" Then Shinji got his gun and they ran off to the telelvision broodcasting sinter. The buses exploded so they had to run!!!

Hot damn. This may be the single greatest literary achievement of mankind.

_________________
Each of us is encased in an armour which we soon, out of familiarity, no longer notice. There are only moments which penetrate it and stir the soul into sensibility. And when such a moment has imposed itself upon us and we then take notice and ask ourselves, “Has anything peculiar taken place? Was it not of the kind I meet every day?” then we may reply to ourselves, “Nothing peculiar, indeed, it is like this every day, only we are not there every day.” – Martin Buber
MAL

[sean_sean_sean_sean]

This fanfic...

I never believed in God...

... until today

[Pcnerdjack14]

You know what's great.
HE DID MAKE A SEQUEL!

Expect that in a week or so.

[Otakon 08 Ikari]

I love HLFLC, can we have the audio to this please!

"The beams melted the Eva;s chest and it gave Shinji heart burn"

_________________
Dr. Trans Old Fashioned Peppermint Dickables

http://pshbling.deviantart.com/gallery/ Go there for Eva cosplay.

[Pcnerdjack14]

Otakon 08 Ikari wrote:

I love HLFLC, can we have the audio to this please!

Sure, I'll post a link to the audio tape version once I find it.

[Merridian]

I share the entirety of ssssean's sentiments. This fanfic is the stuff that dreams are made of. In a hundred years, I can only hope that this is studied alongside the likes of Joyce & Tolstoy & Shakespeare. It is tr00ly a masterful creation.

Pcnerdjack14 wrote:

HE DID MAKE A SEQUEL! Expect that in a week or so.

_________________
Each of us is encased in an armour which we soon, out of familiarity, no longer notice. There are only moments which penetrate it and stir the soul into sensibility. And when such a moment has imposed itself upon us and we then take notice and ask ourselves, “Has anything peculiar taken place? Was it not of the kind I meet every day?” then we may reply to ourselves, “Nothing peculiar, indeed, it is like this every day, only we are not there every day.” – Martin Buber
MAL

[Pcnerdjack14]

@Otakon 08 Ikari

Found it. http://www.heavens-feel.com/blog/archives/1