The Shinji Ikari Rebuild Project

[Glor]

Man, great stuff Ray.

Incidentally, I was listening to the Bioshock Infinite soundtrack while reading. This track in particular came on:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-jniPoucZ4

Seems fitting. Keep it up!

[Ray]

Eva and Bioshock do have a bit of overlap in many regards. Killer soundtracks and Judeo-Christian Imagery being two. Anyways, here's another Sample. I'm going to try and finish this up and get to the meat of the story I actually want to write soon.

SPOILER: Show

[Deleted]

[Ray]

SPOILER: Show

[DELETED]

[Lennik]

Excellent work on this one. Just one thing.

He wiped his smile away and rose with the rest of the crew to give their captain a salute. Midori accidentally put the wrong hand to her head before quickly swapping it. Hoping nob

The last sentence cuts off.

Other than that, I'm loving these new developments. I can't wait to see where this goes.

[Ray]

Thanks for catching that.

Anyways.

SPOILER: Show

[DELETED]

[Glor]

EDIT: Also, why don't I get as many comments on this page as other writers? Is it because of my outspoken views?

I hope not. There are a lot of writers who I disagree with on a great many things, but I still read their work. There could be many reasons why. I don't think this forum is quite as populated as other places that delve into fanfic, and even then, commenting takes effort. Not really, but people get lazy, you know? It could also just be a matter of interest, or lack thereof. You could always try posting it on FF.net.

I'll swing by eventually to read the new stuff.

[Lennik]

Also, why don't I get as many comments on this page as other writers? Is it because of my outspoken views?

Maybe it's the thread title not grabbing people, but that might be wrong. I certainly hope it doesn't have anything to do with your views, because I've disagreed with you quite a bit, but I'm still loving this story, so keep it up.

I really enjoyed that last Shinji chapter especially. I get the feeling this near death experience is really going to change him. For better or for worse. That awakening gasp at the end kinda reminded me of Jon Snow, haha.

[Ray]

I really enjoyed that last Shinji chapter especially. I get the feeling this near death experience is really going to change him. For better or for worse. That awakening gasp at the end kinda reminded me of Jon Snow, haha.

That was not my intent. . .

What do you think of Unit 01 wrecking shop?

[Lennik]

What do you think of Unit 01 wrecking shop?

I kinda knew that was coming eventually. It's a great development, because if it does lead to disaster, it puts the mutinous crew on a much more even-footing with Shinji. They can't exactly claim he has a monopoly on huge globally dangerous screw-ups now that they've just made Unit 01 go berserk because they got too emotional about something and shot him.

[Reichu]

I don't think the thread title does a particularly good job of conveying what's actually in the thread. At a glance it looks like it has something to do with the Raising Project...

[Stillborn]

I would comment regularily, but somehow everyone here seems to believe that my approval lowers the quality of anything. Also Ray is ashamed of it, so I don't want to make him uncomfortable.

My personal opinion for lack of comments is that this fic bleakness is very well based. And many people here don't want to admit that events in your fic are very realistic possibility.

[MisterHalt]

There certainly doesn't seem to be much activity on this forum sometimes. Which is part of the reason I shifted my story to Sufficient Velocity.

You should definitely consider putting the story on FF.net. It's certainly good enough to deserve a spot there. I have to agree on the name though... sort of. It kinda fits the story, but at the same time it doesn't.

[pwhodges]

A really catchy name is probably key. I put my story ("Afterwards...") on FFN and OA3, and it got less comments on those than here. Maybe I should have called it "Impact Nightmares" or something.

[BlueBasilisk]

It also helps that FFN and AO3 give you room for a short blurb to describe what the story is about.

[Apalos]

Glor had the right of it, reviewing is soooo hard. Also, life. I have a whole queue of stories that I need to review/read. I'll get to it eventual, it just might take some time.

As for the story itself, I do like it, so far.

Asuka, stahp. Stahp Asuka, he just got shot, don't smack him...

I do like the Unit-01 part. I also like that you did not make it invincible just because it went berserk. The chunk of spine being ripped out is shiver inducing.

[Lennik]

I look forward to seeing Shinji's reaction when he wakes up and realizes he's not dead.

[xfs]

I just finished the chapters so far and I like it. I am touched by the bleak depiction of suffering.

I get the feeling this near death experience is really going to change him.

I think the near depth experience is more set up to give a second chance or implicit guilt for the rest of the people to reconsider their treatment of Shinji and only secondarily give Shinji a natural transition out of the catatonia. The catatonia can't go on forever otherwise nothing can really happen.

Though it is a redeeming moment when those close to him finally revealed they'd still care and maybe thought he didn't deserve to die yet. The treatment so far is quite emotionally inhuman in that no one has tried to communicate and understand Shinji's side of story, though partly due to the catatonia plot, resulting in this dire outcome. If Q has taught any lesson, it's the importance of communication. So probably the next needs to start the communication.

I don't know if this near depth experience can be considered as the ultimate price to pay but I imagine developing more suffering plot would be really difficult creatively (not that I'm opposed to the idea of more suffering).

What do you think of Unit 01 wrecking shop?

Unit 01 wrecking ship is the only canonically logical outcome if Shinji gets harmed so plotwise this is quite natural. I had this issue with Reticence where Shinji could "control" Unit 01 via telepathy and the crew immediately turned to suck him up and he didn't really get better because of his own volition and sacrifice (though later he did). I don't think the plot needs Unit 01 to help Shinji finish everything thus depriving him of the chance of solving his own problems. It is enough for Unit 01 to keep the crew in check and allow the plot to develop without Shinji actually dying.

It would be really interesting to see how people around Shinji will react or change their mind and reveal their feeling in the next chapters.

Though it's been a while since the last chapter. Maybe you have been thwarted by the lack of response?! I will check for updates.

[Lennik]

I think the near depth experience is more set up to give a second chance or implicit guilt for the rest of the people to reconsider their treatment of Shinji and only secondarily give Shinji a natural transition out of the catatonia. The catatonia can't go on forever otherwise nothing can really happen.

Though it is a redeeming moment when those close to him finally revealed they'd still care and maybe thought he didn't deserve to die yet. The treatment so far is quite emotionally inhuman in that no one has tried to communicate and understand Shinji's side of story, though partly due to the catatonia plot, resulting in this dire outcome. If Q has taught any lesson, it's the importance of communication. So probably the next needs to start the communication.

I don't know if this near depth experience can be considered as the ultimate price to pay but I imagine developing more suffering plot would be really difficult creatively (not that I'm opposed to the idea of more suffering).

I agree, if you're saying what I think you're saying. I think Shinji almost dying is a useful way to force everyone to come to terms with the fact that there's no real way to punish him after that without seeming like hypocrites. He was shot and willing to die, which is really the ultimate "What more could you ask of him?" moment for them. In a way it's probably cathartic for him. They can't very well condemn him anymore past this point, because he was already willing to pay the ultimate price and would have if they hadn't interfered by saving him. It almost absolves him a bit. Not that he would do this, but after this point he has the moral grounds to say, "Well, I was going to die for my sins, and I was fine with it, but you didn't let me. So what more do you want?"

Unit 01 wrecking ship is the only canonically logical outcome if Shinji gets harmed so plotwise this is quite natural. I had this issue with Reticence where Shinji could "control" Unit 01 via telepathy and the crew immediately turned to suck him up and he didn't really get better because of his own volition and sacrifice (though later he did).

I actually had the opposite problem with Reticence. I thought pretty much everyone with a few exceptions was uncharacteristically and unrealistically mean to Shinji for too long, and we didn't really see their opinions change, with the exception of Misato and Asuka. For most of the crew, we're just told that he's been forgiven, but we haven't actually seen it happen, because most of them are featureless. He's not all that apologetic about his role in N3I or N4I, either. He makes excuses. He's pretty argumentative, which is consistent with Rebuild!Shinji's character up until the N4I incident, but by the end of Q, that has changed, and a fic that takes place right afterward should reflect that change. He should be sullen and ashamed when Misato confronts him again on the Wunder, like he was at the end of Q. And Misato is downright monstrous to him in that fic.

I think it goes without saying (but I'll say it anyway) that I very much prefer Ray's interpretation of these characters, if we're talking about what's actually feasibly in-character for them.

[Ray]

So hey guys. . . I bet you're all wondering why I haven't written much more lately. . . well that's my fault for the most part. I haven't really had as much time as I'd like to write Fanfic.

I haven't forgotten, I'm just busy.

Another problem is how I write. . . I read about how Brad Bird writes, and how he tends to start at the middle of the story to try and get a sense of who these characters are before he starts the script for real. I write similarly depending on my mood. That's basically what I did for the parts I've written so far, (ex. I wrote Sakura's scene with Shinji in the room before I wrote his scene with Asuka in the Red Desert.) I must have rewritten the scene where he gets shot six times before I was happy with it.
=

I thought pretty much everyone with a few exceptions was uncharacteristically and unrealistically mean to Shinji for too long, and we didn't really see their opinions change, with the exception of Misato and Asuka.

Yeah. . . about that. . . I wouldn't say I'm going to have them stay 'meanspirited'. But almost ending the world twice isn't just something you can let go after living in the shit for 14 years.

Don't get ahead of yourself, I'm not done writing the thing yet.

[xfs]

I must have rewritten the scene where he gets shot six times

It is a great scene. Your effort pays off.

It's good to hear you're still on it. Take as much time as you will need.