(Second Annual) Lilim Design Contest (End Discussion)

[Chowwow]

@ Great Genius Shinji-Sama: Very well, I'll put your status in question. But tell you what, I'll keep your place in the schedule. If you still have nothing when that deadline comes, then I'll officially drop you. Consider this a special case.

Avatar of Dreams wrote:

Hey Chowwow, Well, I'm done with the semester so I figured I might as well sign up for this contest this time around. Give me a later presentation date though, since I have yet to start working on anything.

Sure thing, old friend! I'm just glad to have you on board!

As of December 26, 3:25 PM EST:

Designers:

Hazukari
Omegagouki
UrsusArctos (withdrawn)
Themaninblack
Holy Diver
Great Genius Shinji-Sama ?
Vegeta 20XX
Formless One
Agentomega
Avatar of Dreams

Schedule:

Jan. 1: Omegagouki
Jan. 2: Holy Diver
Jan. 3: Agentomega
Jan. 4: Vegeta 20XX
Jan. 5: Themaninblack
Jan. 6: Great Genius Shinji-Sama ?
Jan. 7: Hazukari
Jan. 8: Formless One
Jan. 9: Avatar of Dreams

Get to it guys! The New Year is near!

_________________
Live, Fight, and Die!

Now Judging for the EvADC!
The LDC soon!

[Chowwow]

Happy New Year to all, and welcome to the first day of Presentations for the Second annual LDC!

We have a very talented and fresh group this year, and prospects are promising!

Without further BS, our first entry!

January 1
Omegagouki

Quote:

Isha Telmut Age: 24 at death (October 31, 1986 - May 9, 2011) Height: 5'5" Physical Description Isha is a rather average in height, somewhat attractive tanned woman with shoulder-length black hair and intense, narrow blue eyes that sparkle with a slightly menacing light. Her body is physically fit, with several tattoos (more on those later), and is wide of hip and slight of bust. Isha's usual wardrobe consists of one constant color - dark blue, usually with either black, lighter blues, gold, or white. The usual outfit is either jeans or cargo pants and fancy tops that are usually revealing in the back, but almost never in the stomach or the front. But the most striking feature of her wardrobe is the long, navy blue jacket she wears over her shoulders, usually only putting her arms in the sleeves when in necessary conditions (cold or windy weather, usually). These clothes usually cover or contain an array of weapons - daggers, guns, and the like, though two (technically three) armaments are always important to her - a bowie knife with a 7-inch blade that is either strapped to her lower right leg or at her right hip; and a pair of Jericho 941-F's, usually holstered behind her on a waist belt. Returning to the subject of her tattoos, she has the entire Ars Goetia diagram on her backside - the triangle on her neck, the circle in the middle of her back, and the four outer stars/candles on her shoulders and just above her hips. A good sign of her obsession with demonology and the occult if there ever was one. She also has a triple-looped thorn tattoo on her right wrist and a horizontal black crescent just above her clavicles, and probably her most signature tat - the letter Omega around her right eye. Personality To describe Isha personality-wise in one sentence is not too difficult: Isha Telmut is a seductive, charming, misanthropic, spiteful, sociopathic, and extremely dangerous woman. But, more elaborately... Isha has her own morals (or lack thereof, perhaps) that she follows near-religiously, and if you can fully agree with her, you're probably nearly as twisted as she is. Nearly anyone besides herself she deems worthless and of no consequence, except as tools to an end or a cheap thrill. However, if she by some far-off chance really likes someone, she will pledge her allegiance 'til the end... the end usually being her eventually getting bored with them. She believes that power rules and any sign of weakness in her mind was expendable. Isha has been obsessed with Demonology ever since she was fourteen, just after Second Impact. She believes demons, specifically those of the Goetia rule all things, and are mightier than even the Angels (or would be if she hadn't been executed nearly four years before Evangelion's main story). To this end, she has tried multiple times to summon the demons, but has come up empty-handed, much to her frustration. This is probably as far as she goes in believing anything actually religious. Story Birth Born in Israel to a wealthy military family on October 31, 1986, the beginning of her life should have been a good one. Sadly, her father was an abusive drunk who spent half of the family's fortune on alcohol and bad investments while her mother took her husband's abuse. However, despite that, her mother took good care of her and her by 3 years elder sister instead of neglecting and abusing them like her father, who started molesting her when she was eight, and probably did the same to her sister when she was around that age. Her mother simply stayed in denial that her husband was a terrible person and Isha would continue to go through this harsh life - she always tried to remain optimistic, however. Road to Madness And then, suddenly, on September 30, 2000, this changed and Second Impact occurred. Her mother and sister perished in the cataclysm's aftermath as Israel and Palestine went crazy on each other, 2I's chaos further igniting the flames between them and annihilating common sense. Being in a military family, she knew how to use weapons and how to defend herself (except against her own father, sadly). Her father took off with her and escaped to Germany, where he had been born, his own father a Holocaust survivor who had stayed in Germany after WWII ended. This, however, did not stop him from abusing her, in fact, it frustrated him all the further and made him even worse - beatings and rapes abound. Unfortunately for him, Isha was old enough now to question things. Why did good people like her mother and sister die while people like her father live? Why was he so successful even with all of the things he pulled that should have bankrupted him easily? Why didn't her mother stand up to him? She was grown woman - she could have taken her and her sister and left. Soon enough, she came to an epiphany - her mother wasn't able to do anything and died because she was too weak to make a difference. And her horrible father was still alive because of fools' luck, he was powerful, but he had no idea what power meant. And with the world crumbling, she realized the "truth" - everyone and everything was meaningless... Chaos and power struggles reigned supreme now; not charity and hope, nor peace and love. She would not be a weakling like her mother and sister, nor would she be a fool like her father. She would have power... And the first threat to that was her father. Killing him was simple, all she had to do was poison his liquor and he would go down easily. No such luck. Instead, drunk and poisoned and on another power trip, he tried his usual actions again. Her plan had failed, he hadn't taken enough poison to kill him. And then, she found her father's handgun, her father's mood changing almost immediately, he was actually scared. He wasn't so powerful now that he had a gun pointed to him. He had been a coward all along - Knowing this now, Isha smiled and unloaded the entire clip into him... it had felt good and she wanted to do it again. The Awakening of a Demon And she did, stealing as much of her father's remaining ammunition as she could carry and fled. People had noticed and some of them got in the way of her escape. She blew them away, first with frustration, and then with glee, moving on to bystanders just so she could feel that glorious feeling. And amidst all of the chaos, she got away, eventually taking refuge in an old library. And that's where she found... the book. At first, she was bored, but the more she read about it, the more encompassed she had become. She had been hearing whisperings that someone had awakened something very powerful and that's what had caused the cataclysm, and she began to wonder - had it been a demon? And she began to imagine what would happen if she could do the same... She could change and destroy the world... A world that was probably screwed now anyway. And so, she took up practicing in the occult. She began to investigate the rumors about Second Impact more closely, funding herself with what remained of her father's fortune - the murder of her father and the resulting massacre were chalked up to the chaos of the current world. The rumors began to shift, there was still talk of the awakening of something, but as the world began to calm, the meteor impact cover-up came into full swing - the only people who believed in it were thought to be crazy... or, the ones who knew the truth. Isha didn't believe the cover-up, something had been awoken and she would someday awaken something else. Four years had soon gone by since 2I by and she turned 18, her occult practicing and studies continuing in secret as she gained a new life in Germany, the calming of the world allowing her a veil of normalcy as an emancipated minor, living by herself and going to school via her money. But soon after her birthday, she decided it was time to get a job - but it took a few months before she finally got one as nurse aide at a mental hospital. And that's where she met a patient... named Kyoko Zeppelin Soryu, a broken, halved shell of a woman who played with dolls she thought were her daughter that would come by to visit at times only to be rejected for those... dolls. The words "weak" and "pathetic" came to Isha's mind. The woman's daughter reminded her of herself at that age - optimistic and tough-acting while her world was actually a ball of foolishness and stupidity as people screwed around with her. Of course, Asuka's life was not like Isha's at all, but the facts remained. And her father wasn't any better. She knew about his little... side dish, the doctor who had accepted her application no less. They made no effort in hiding it... Nothing but disgusting fools whose lives were defined by fornication. But she kept her mouth shut. They would get theirs in the end, she believed that much. It was just a matter of time. She began meeting Kyoko in secret instead of just for usual checks, usually while Dr. Langley was screwing around with his whore, and told the woman her secrets. After all, she was just a worthless shell now, she wouldn't blab to the others, and even if she did, no one would believe her. And that wasn't all, no, she decided to have a little fun - agitating Kyoko further and further just to see what would happen, with plenty of emotional abuse. But that wasn't all... Kyoko sometimes blurted out juicy information about secret projects and other such things, and only Isha believed her without being in the know like Langley. Some of it was tying to her own theories and ramblings and she wanted to know as much as possible. Of course, eventually Kyoko hung herself... Isha had, ironically, quit her job just days before the suicide to begin investigating this new information in tandem with her own. She began to learn about GEHIRN and Project E, but always hit roadblocks - whoever these people were, they wanted their secrets to stay secret. She was even hit with Cease and Desist orders. But she didn't care, and would continue investigating. That was, until she turned twenty and she was kidnapped by the people behind it all: SEELE. They wanted her kept quiet, and nothing else had been working. The kidnapping hadn't been easy. She had killed the first set of goons that had been sent after her, thanks to her pathetic father's old sidearm. It amused her how something belonging to someone so worthless could have so much worth. Most of the second squad died as well, but this time she was captured using gas and other dirty tricks. But her ruthless, skilled killing got SEELE's attention for another reason... perhaps she was useful to them? She was asked thousands of questions, and kept tight-lipped at anything that was not about her assumed life. Eventually, truth serum came into play and Isha revealed plenty - not just about her investigations, but who she truly was and some of the more fun things she had done after Second Impact. Knowing this, there were only two options for SEELE - either kill her or tell her the truth and set her to work for them. Isha decided immediately on the latter. Of course, not because of her use to these people, no, but to their use to herself. And so, SEELE began training her to be one of their enforcers - stop any threats to their agenda by any means necessary. But while she did that, she began to learn plenty - the rumors had been right, they had summoned the cause of the cataclysm - a creature called Adam - her once being Jewish made that fact hilarious to her. But their agenda... That was even more hilarious. Why should all of humanity become one, when it didn't even deserve to exist apart? But the thing about getting souls together... If one could bring them together, then they could be erased. SEELE wanted to unite humanity as one. Gendo Ikari wanted to be with his wife again, who had wanted humanity to be separate and live their lives. And Isha Telmut... She had found her purpose - she wanted to become the human race's executioner. Terror and Destruction Isha continued to do SEELE's bidding for about a half year without any incident, though she was always plotting and scheming in her head - She'd taken out at least fifty people... political enemies of SEELE, spies, traitors, and some that had been doing what she had done that got her into this job in the first place. But while she was on duty, she usually got information from her marks before killing them, or stealing info afterward. Their contacts became knowledge to her, and soon those contacts became her contacts, albeit she continued to stay anonymous so she could kill them if they outlived their usefulness or became her next mark without retaliation. Eventually, she grew tired of waiting and openly betrayed SEELE, gathering several other dissenters and going out on an explosive killing spree - nearly half of her allies were killed in the conflict, not that she really cared - and moved off to a base in the ruins of what had once been southern Italy, which had been devastated by the flooding of the Mediterranean Sea and a subsequent attack on the Vatican. From this place, she and her followers would head out and cause conflict and commit acts of terrorism and espionage globally - mainly places under SEELE's influence. They began getting more information about Project E, and there was even rumors of them planning to build their own Eva. Isha added her tattoos during the ordeal, becoming known by such things as Omega Bitch and The Esoteric Assassin - SEELE and the United Nations feared her for very good reasons - she was not only a danger to their plans, but the world itself. Capture and Execution This eventually ended in 2011 when her base was discovered, rumor had it a spy had gotten into their midst and betrayed them to the world's controllers. Isha began having her own men executed to flush out the spy, but it was unsuccessful. Their foes used this time of chaos to move in and attack. Many on both sides died before an end came, Isha's organization on the losing side. She was captured and sentenced to death via firing squad. When asked for any last words, she went on a rant about how she felt about such a pathetic world and all of the people in it. This soon turned into her giving a message to the world - Even if she was getting executed, the world would know the true meaning of fear and hopelessness and she would return someday to destroy all, her rant ended with the squad opening fire on her, during which she began to laugh, not stopping until she finally bled out and died. (Not Quite) The End(?) Rumor has it, however, that not all of her followers had been taken out and some remained. After her execution, her body disappeared mysteriously, someone had stolen it right from under their noses. A follower doing an inside job at her place of execution? However, the evidence was just not sufficient and soon things were forgotten. But what really happened to her? Who would want her body? Only her or whoever took her body probably knew. Character Inspirations, References Isha's last name comes from the Talmud, the Jewish book of holy law. Purposefully ironic and for use of Pointless Religious Symbolism. Isha's character traits are inspired by a mix of Kefka from Final Fantasy VI, Luca Blight from Suikoden 2, Castor Troy from Face/Off, as well as a little of Misato and Asuka from Evangelion. The tattoos on her back are from the Ars Goetia. More pointless symbolism?

Awesome job, Omega!

Next time:
Holy Diver

_________________
Live, Fight, and Die!

Now Judging for the EvADC!
The LDC soon!

[Omegagouki]

Hooray~! Interesting to be first. Usually means more active feedback.

Which is good.

_________________
Great, just great. Now I look like the huge, mighty king of
GUYS WHO TALK TO POSTERS! - Bowser, PM:tTYD

Now with SSI! $450 a month, bitches

Uu~! - Maria, Umineko no Naku Kro Ni

[Formless One]

Except that this is the first day of the year, so everyone is asleep and not on the forum.

Well, its nice to see someone try their hand at creating a clear cut villain as an OC. Its a nice change of pace.

Her personality works all right, a psychopath who seems to have inhereted her father's violent, abusive nature. Its a bit over the top, though, in that its jarring that she would fit in so easily in Germany while working for a mental hospital of all places. She sounds too much like she would fit in with the patients more than the staff, and her apparent impulsiveness would be one of those things that would tend to keep her from holding such a job for very long. She kind of reminds me of Heath Ledger's Joker from TDK; she's sinister enough that once her escalating plot starts to gain momentum it works, but she sticks out so well that its hard to imagine how she managed to keep out of trouble for as long as she did.

Also, there are some other holes in that story as well. Every time you describe her getting into a major violent encounter the details you give are so vague that I am at a loss to understand what exactly happened. The first time it was her flight from her home: did she flee the same night as she killed her father? How did people know she was leaving, and more importantly why did they try to confront her? If they heard the gunshots then they should have known that she was armed and would have stayed away rather than become part of an apparently target rich environment. And how convenient that there just happened to be an old library that just happened to have a copy of the Necronomicon or whatever that book was that she obsessed over for the rest of her life.

Where were the authorities during all this? I know it takes place in Israel, but they still have cops there. Cops armed with assault rifles, no less.

The second time, when SEELE decided to kidnap her, you similarly gloss over all the relevant details. How was she able to take down an entire squad of men with no training and little combat experience to speak of? And why did SEELE risk kidnapping her in such a brazen fashion in the first place? They are supposed to be a vast Illuminati like conspiracy, you don't just go sending out paramilitary squads to capture one overly curious civilian if you want to stay a secret. Nor does she seem at that point to be important enough to warrant making moves in the public eye. It would have made more sense, been more consistent with the rest of her story to follow, and fulfilled the same purpose to the story to have SEELE become interested in hiring her after a series of foiled kidnapping attempts by their enforcers or by ordinary hitmen.

Take a look at the way I handled the killing of Yae's parents in my submission last year: the audience can infer who was responsible for running them off the road because of the hints the audience has been privileged to, such as Col. Spencer's email and Seiko Triton's refusal to join Geherin. But from the POV of the police there is not enough evidence to say that it wasn't a mob killing or something similarly mundane, not to mention that there is a clear possibility that someone was interfering with the investigation from the inside. But the important thing is that we know that the authorities exist and that they did investigate-- they just didn't find anything. That makes whomever ordered their deaths seem smarter, more realistic, faceless, and more threatening. Just like a vast conspiracy should be.

I'm going to round off a pair of final criticisms, but be aware that these are just nitpicks: 1) Truth serum may be popular in fiction, but no such thing actually exists (the military experimented with several drug in the hopes they would do something like that, but...). 2) There were some stylistic errors made here and there, such as calling Langley Soryu's affair a "side dish," which not only feels out of place and a tad bit weeabo, but which only someone in this fandom would even understand. Wasn't that a mistranslation in the first place? You could have just called it an affair, and you would have gotten the point across much more clearly and concisely. Just a few little things like that.

Anyway, this was a pretty good way to start off the contest. Overall the character does manage to be scary enough to work in her role, assuming some of those issues are addressed. My comparison to Heath Ledger's Joker is a good one, because if you stop and think about it, a lot of his plans were a bit too reliant on things going too perfectly or on the police being incompetent, but his force of personality manages to make you forget that while he is on screen. The presentation can make or break a story like that.

O, and one last thing: its nice to know I'm not the only one who couldn't get any art for this. I'm still no good at drawing faces.

_________________
[/opinion]
My (fan-)fiction — My art

My 1337'th post.

[Chowwow]

Very good notes, Formless One. I pretty much agree. When I get more time, I'd like to review it in more depth.

Anyway, here is our next entry!

January 2
Holy Diver

Quote:

General Data: Full Name/Nickname: Kasuga Yamakaze (assumed name, his given name is unknown) Age: N/A Measurements: 6 ft. 7 in., 190 lbs. Occupation/Rank: UN overseer at Nerv/ other. References/Name Origin: Wikipedia was my #1 source for finding a name. I chose the first name after the Italian manufactured armored cruiser, the Kasuga. It is also the name of a Shinto shrine (the Kasuga Grand Shrine) in the city of Nara. This name ties in with Kasuga’s interest in mythology. The second name came from a ship from the Shiratsuyu-class of destroyers. It means Mountain Wind or from the mountains. Physical Description: Kasuga is a Caucasian male in his late twenties. He is of average weight and is well muscled. He easily towers above most other people. Aside from his intimidating height, his most striking feature is his blue-green eyes that burn with a fearsome intensity. His hair is a light blond and is worn long. He often wears several black suits of similar style, but occasionally wears more casual clothing when appropriate. Background History: Kasuga did not experience a normal human birth; rather he was cloned during 2001 in a top-secret section of the Artificial Evolution Laboratory as part of a Seele experiment called “Project Nephilim”. The the project was to combine the DNA of two different beings into one in a controlled environment (a similar experiment was carried out prior to this, but Seele was displeased with the result). Who (or what) supplied his DNA is unknown, but it is not unreasonable to assume that they would have been sources close to Seele. His unconscious body was kept inside a tank of LCL mixed with a blend of other chemicals that would keep him in good health and rapidly accelerate his growth while he remained in the tank. Within a year, the fetus that was Kasuga grew into a teenage boy. But, Kasuga eventually became conscious and broke out of the tank and went on a rampage that damaged much of the lab and killed at least two workers. Yui Ikari was working on the experiment at the time and was able to soothe him until the other scientists were able to restrain him. Immediately after this outburst, he was taken to see Keel Lorenz. While Kasuga was at first hostile to Lorenz, he opened up to him and revealed that he viewed himself as an abomination without purpose. Lorenz told him of a plan that he had (Instrumentality). Keel then told him that Kasuga was to continue his works if he died and was unable to fulfill his plans. Keel’s body had been extended far beyond its normal lifespan by cybernetic technology, but there was only so much more time before his body would simply stop functioning. So he needed an heir, and Kasuga seemed to be a promising candidate. Kasuga fell in love with the idea of eventually taking over from him as it gave him a sense of purpose and direction. Thus he began on a journey that would have far-reaching implications. Kasuga went to go live in the Chairman’s Bavarian Estate. There he received a comprehensive education in all manner of subjects. He was taught many languages including (but not limited to) English, Japanese, Chinese, Russian, German, and Spanish (as well as ancient languages such as Latin, Sumerian, Egyptian, Persian, and Classical Greek) and is able to speak all of them fluently. His education helped him to become one of the brightest minds in the world. He learned military tactics and strategy, was skilled in many martial arts. Keel showered gifts and wealth upon Kasuga to build loyalty. Kasuga had many servants at his call, in keeping with his violent, sadistic personality; he would often physically abuse his servants. Keel permitted Kasuga to commit such outrageous activities as it kept Kasuga happy and thus loyal. He would eventually come to think of Keel as his adopted father, although Keel did not think of Kasuga as anything more than an extension of his will (but he did name Kasuga as his successor, so it is possible that he eventually came to think of him as a son). Kasuga was much closer to Yui Ikari. Keel invited her over several times during the years that Kasuga lived at the estate. Keel was glad that Kasuga was cunning and vicious but in many ways he was more of a savage beast than a man, and this did not comply with his plans for the boy. He thought that as she was able to lull him into submission in the laboratory, that she could be able to “tame” him. Her presence did indeed bring out a kinder, gentler side to Kasuga. The two grew very close in the short amount of time they spent together and she loved him as she would her own child. Keel soon began to worry that Kasuga’s loyalties would be compromised by Yui’s continued presence, so he stopped her from seeing the boy anymore. This denial combined with her tragic death in 2004 left Kasuga devastated. The only person he truly cared about was apparently dead and the Kasuga she knew died with her. Rather than pushing Kasuga away from Keel and his plans, it only strengthened his desire to see them come to fruition. He thought that he would be able to see her again after Instrumentality would be completed. After the death of Yui Ikari, Kasuga (who then was the equivalent of an 18-year old) soon grew sick of his opulent existence and desired a chance to vent his frustrations in combat. Keel gave him permission to join Blackstar Industries. Blackstar was a UN-sponsored paramilitary contractor service stationed in Japan that focused on both special and black operations. Blackstar’s soldiers were known for their brutality, high civilian death tolls, impeccable success rate, and the black pentagrams worn on their uniforms. Kasuga fit in well with the other soldiers and was accepted by them (it was around this time that he started using his assumed name Kasuga Yamakaze). He participated in over 127 known sorties and directly caused the destruction of 12 warlord governments and resistance groups over three years. His illustrious service led to him becoming Blackstar’s Field Commander. This left him in charge of all military operations. His power in the organization was only surpassed by Blackstar’s Board of Directors. Kasuga owed most of his success due to intensive physical, mental, and combat training, but there are rumors that he had other forms of assistance. There are several accounts of Kasuga being directly hit by enemy fire, but without sustaining any wounds. Some ex-Blackstar soldiers who served with him also tell of instances where Kasuga was able to accurately detect an enemy presence before the other soldiers make visual contact with the enemy. This ability allowed him to create clever traps and ambuscades to destroy the enemy with great efficiency. From there the stories get only stranger. A comprehensive list of the abilities attributed to Kasuga would include teleportation, mind control, telekinesis, levitation, abnormal agility and strength, force field projection, and, most bizarre of all, acidic spittle. These may just be simply tall tales or may be attributed to a combination of heat, exhaustion, hallucination (due to stimulants used by some Blackstar soldiers to improve their performance), or combat stress that may have led some into believing that they saw Kasuga perform special abilities on the battlefield. Regardless of the rumors surrounding his combat success, Kasuga’s time with Blackstar would be cut short. He had been assigned to reclaim the Indian state of Uttar Pradesh from a group of Maoist rebels who claimed the state for themselves. Here, Kasuga and his men acted with the utmost cruelty. He would authorize the destruction of any village suspected of harboring Maoist insurgents. Soon, the blood of tens of thousands of innocents stained his hands. However, the international media captured several videos and images of the slaughter that were shown throughout the world. This created mass outrage from world governments and civilians that led to the dismantlement of Blackstar Industries and the arrests of many involved in the attack. Kasuga was able to use Keel’s influence and wealth to escape punishment for his crimes. Kasuga then took some time to travel the world where he learned much forbidden knowledge. He forcibly recovered a lost Dead Sea Scroll which was stolen by a radical Zionist group in 1947. The scroll detailed the coming of a messiah. The messiah was to be “not of a woman born”. After a time of great tribulation and despair the messiah would purge the earth of all personal weakness. Kasuga had always been a little narcissistic, but after discovering the scroll, his ego was inflated tenfold. He interpreted the scroll to mean that he was the prophesied messiah, for he was cloned and not born from a woman, and that if the Human Instrumentality Project, the time of trial and tribulation, were to fail that he would set about the purge of all mankind. In his mind he believed that if anyone was to reject the eternal happiness that Instrumentality aught to bring, then it was his duty to destroy what must clearly be a weak-link in the human chain. The discovery of the scroll gave Kasuga a new-found arrogance that Keel did not approve of. Keel gave him the position of UN overseer at Nerv and he arrived at his new post right before the Sachiel attack. Keel wanted him to see first-hand what was happening there and to report back to him. But more importantly, Keel hoped that Kasuga would be cured of his arrogance by seeing Keel’s plan succeed. Kasuga witnessed all of the angel attacks on Tokyo 3, but during the Zeruel attack he witnessed the actions of Shinji Ikari and saw the awesome power of a berserking Eva-01. Kasuga guessed at the role that both of them were destined to play in Keel’s plan and began to realize that Instrumentality would ultimately fail. At this point onward in time, he began to plan for a world after Third Impact. He began to make alliances, build up resources, and gain contacts while still paying lip-service to Keel, all in preparation for his bloody purge of the weaker elements of humankind. As he said himself… “Let Keel live with his delusions and play with his toys. I have a purpose, a mission given to me by God! I cannot fail!” Personality : Due to the facts that he was created in a laboratory and rapidly aged, thus lacking the normal experiences most people of his age would have had, Kasuga had many psychological barriers to overcome. He has a very hard time understanding or accommodating other people. He is often prone to violent bursts of near-homicidal anger when his plans are disturbed by the needs of others. His former servants and underlings would often bear bruises and other, more serious injuries that were written off as “accidents”. This reputation earned him the nickname “Bousou” (he was unaware of the nickname as no one would dare say this to his face). After discovering the scroll he became very arrogant and suffered from delusions of grandeur. He had very few significant relationships with others; the only exceptions being Yui and Keel. He appears to show little interest in the opposite sex. He has a small, Spartan apartment attached to his office where he sleeps, close to his work. He has a fascination with the occult and mythology. His office contains several books and papers that deal with both subjects as well as bizarre artifacts he claimed during his travels. He has a humble residence in the mountains far from Tokyo-III where he retreats once a month. One can only wonder how he spends his time up there. Career / Achievements / Goals: Kasuga is a UN special advisor to Nerv. To anyone who does not know his personal history, he appears to be just another hired thug trying to carve out a living in the bureaucracy. He is paid very handsomely for his services, though most of his work is done by poorly paid interns. Most of his time at Nerv is spent spying for Seele. His goal is to bring about the destruction of those Lilin who reject instrumentality at whatever cost. Involvement in NGE: Kasuga attended the unveiling of Jet Alone and was (somehow) involved in the sabotage of the ill-fated machine. He was instrumental in “encouraging” foreign diplomats into taking on the task of building the MP Eva series. He would later convince Seele into using Kaworu Nagisa. A security tape has been recovered showing him speaking (or perhaps coaching) Kaworu. Unfortunately, the audio recording has been lost, so it is unknown what he was talking to the Angel about. He made himself scarce during the days leading up to the JSSDF invasion of the GeoFront. It appears that he played no part in the invasion. Fate: A body was found at Kasuga’s mountain residence shortly before Third Impact. The body showed signs of a struggle, and was ultimately determined that he had been choked to death. It was later revealed that the body belonged to an assassin (a former Blackstar soldier who served with Kasuga) who pledged to kill Kasuga after his escapades in India led to his arrest and imprisonment. Kasuga was able to survive the attempt on his life. It is assumed that, as he had a human soul, he would have been absorbed during Third Impact and presumably remains in the Sea of LCL. Considering his plans, it is best that he stay there. Let us hope that “Bousou” has found peace at last.

Whew, another violent one. I wonder out loud, is Blackstar a reference to the PMC from Bobbq's opus, The Tenant of Room 404? I could have sworn I heard it there first.

Next time:
Agentomega

_________________
Live, Fight, and Die!

Now Judging for the EvADC!
The LDC soon!

[Holy Diver]

Chowwow wrote:

I wonder out loud, is Blackstar a reference to the PMC from Bobbq's opus, The Tenant of Room 404? I could have sworn I heard it there first.

No. It was largely based upon the actual organiztion formerly known as Blackwater (now known as XE). I'm not surprised another PMC was involved in Eva fanfiction. The chaos of a post 2I world would be very profitable for mercenaries.

_________________
Deus Io Vult! (God wills it!)
"Get your ass in gear!" Asuka

"Catdog has an S2 engine in his stomach. He does not need to eat, and whatever he does eat is reacted with antimatter to provide endless energy." Ruthlessly stolen from anon.

[Chowwow]

Holy Diver wrote:

No. It was largely based upon the actual organization formerly known as Blackwater (now known as XE). I'm not surprised another PMC was involved in Eva fanfiction. The chaos of a post 2I world would be very profitable for mercenaries.

I see, I've heard of that PMC before. I'm glad you tried to add a dose of reality to this one.

And now time for our next Designer! Watch out, it's a long one!

January 3
Agentomega

Quote:

Note: While certain pieces of data are presented beforehand, I'll be doing my presentation in a format more like a script/fanfic. Some details may change or be presented to us during the events of the “show”. If you do not wish to read it all, there will be a summary of events afterward (control-F “Timeline of Events”). This is an altered timeline, and doesn't involve all of the Angels, similar to the Manga or Rebuild. General Data: Character Name: Karigane Shirou Written as: 厂巳郎 (Translated as Fourth Son of the Wild Goose, or Transliterated as Son Under the Sign of Snake of the Wild Goose) Confused with: 厄郎 (Translated as Misfortune Son, or something along those lines. Read Yakurou) Gender: Male Age: 14 Years Birthday: 7/26/2001 (July 26th, 2001) Height: 162 cm (5'4”) Weight: 49.895 kg (110 lbs) Eye Color: Green Hair Color: Blond Seiyū: Abe Atsushi English V.A.: Yuri Lowenthal Astrological Sign: Cancer Chinese Zodiac: Snake References/Name Origin: I'd decided first that I wanted to make my character into the one who always stumbles into bad situations, the unlucky character. From this, I decided that it would be funny if I took a page from “Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei”, and try to construct a name that could be accidentally written to mean “Misfortune” (like Itoshiki Nozomu 糸色 望 re-written as 絶望, or zetsubou, despair). It took me a while, but using a reference for Japanese primary names and for several translations of “misfortune”, I decided that changing the first character (四, fourth) in the name Shirou to 巳 - Chinese zodiac sign of the snake - and arbitrarily giving him the last name Karigane (厂, Wild Goose) could possibly pass for 厄 - yaku: misfortune - when read or written hastily. Changing to 巳 happened to be accidentally advantageous as well, as I assigned his birthday after I'd chosen his name. His birthday, like most of the students in Evangelion, falls during the year of the Snake, so his name can be read either way. Physical Description: Shirou keeps his hair a bit longer than usual in the front, so it occasionally gets in his eyes. While he's not muscular, he is fit, as his brothers and (before the drinking, after the rehab) father have made sure he participates in some sort of physical activity. As Shirou enjoys swimming and rock climbing, this is not a problem. Behavior: Shirou hates to be useless and/or helpless. If there's anything he can do for/with his friends, he'll rise to the task. He's somewhat outgoing when he meets a person he deems interesting, and tries to become friends quickly, most likely because of the trauma he suffered early on. He can sometimes be clumsy, and often stumbles into inopportune situations, but he tends to be a good person overall, even if he causes himself more problems. Hobbies: Video Games, Rock Climbing, Swimming. Likes: Taiyaki, Meat buns, Friends. Dislikes: Helplesness, Injustice. Favorite Phrase: What misfortune... Occupation/Rank: Student, Cashier/Bag-boy Involvement in NGE: Neon Genesis Evangelion: Shirou Karigane Observation Project (NGE: Karigane Shirou Kanshi Keikaku) Indicates thought, or sarcasm. (Can either be directions, a translation, or a continuation of the narrative within a quote) My name is Karigane Shirou, and this is my life to this point. On July 26th, 2001, I was born. I don't remember a whole lot from my childhood, but what I do remember wasn't very pleasant. For whatever reason, I was always very danger prone. I tended to get very unlucky, but my brothers always thought of this as foolishness, so they called me the “Foolish Fourth”. We would always do things like climb trees, or chase local dogs, but somehow, I would always manage to pick the wrong branch, and tumble out of the tree, or the dangerous mutt, and end up in the hospital. I managed to get good grades in school early on, and I was bumped up a year. While this may seem like a good thing, I was always the smallest in the class, and the others picked on me, and called me that horrible nickname: “Yakurou”. Even though I was so unfortunate, my mom and dad always encouraged me. My dad was always into fitness... He was rather buff, and therefore decided to become an instructor at a local gym. He always seemed a bit tan, and his black hair framed his face, that is to say, he had a full beard. My mom worked at a local research lab. I don't really remember what she did, or the lab she worked at, but she was really important. She was the top scientist there, and was working on many secret projects, or so she told me. She would usually be at work, but when she was home, it was always fun. She would play games with me, or read books with me, or make my favorite food (meat buns), and take me for some taiyaki. She had long blonde hair, blue eyes, and a very friendly face... I remember that well... But, it wasn't too long before my misfortune struck. I was about six, and she said she was home from work for good, so she decided to take me out for some taiyaki. She had just given one to me when some men wearing suits and sunglasses pulled up in a big, black car, and they... They... They shot her, in front of me. The last thing she said to me was “It's alright, Shirou... Mommy's always going to be here... for... you.” I cried. What else was I supposed to do? I'd seen my mom killed, and there was nothing I could have done about it. I felt useless because I couldn't have saved her, because no one could find the killers afterward. My father, brothers, and I moved to Kyoto. Dad had decided to continue working, even though we were still receiving payments from my mom's lab. He said that it was for the future, which now I imagine, must have seemed bleak to him, having lived through the Second Impact. I imagine another reason was because it took his mind off of things, another yet being the status of the world after the Second Impact. I earned a few good friends in Kyoto, but because we were still relatively young, none of them really understood what I went through, not having a mother, and a father who always works. I still managed to get good grades, my friends entertained me, but I always felt like there was a gap; a gap that I'd attempted to fill with more friends. That just never seemed to cut it. I also got myself into complicated situations by trying to protect my friends... There was this one time when I was twelve that a girl I happened to like a little (my best friend) was being hit on by some of the bad kids in our class. I could tell she didn't like it, so I decided to try and get them off her back. That day, I went to the hospital with several bruises, and two broken ribs. One good thing came of it: she (my best friend) visited me afterward, thanked me, and gave me a quick kiss. Although she moved a few days later, this turned around my mood. I still wanted to help everyone, but it no longer hurt. I no longer felt alone. I still miss my mother, and I cry if I start thinking about her too much, but it was no longer the focus of my attention. I continued to obtain excellent grades, and even though I'm still a little unfortunate, I'd managed to shake my grade-school nickname. My dad, on the other hand, wasn't faring quite as well. He had clung onto the memory of mom, and it depressed him. He started to drink a few years back, but recently my oldest brother checked him into rehabilitation. Upon completing rehab a little while ago, he decided that a change of scenery was in order, and decided to move the family to Germany. I, now fourteen, felt that it was better if I stayed here. To some degree, it may be that I keep the fond memories of mom alive just by being in Japan... After much debate, I managed to convince my father to let me stay behind. He gave me some money, and took off with my brothers. Since we are nearing the present, my story will become more detailed and involved. I managed to find a relatively inexpensive apartment in Tokyo-3, along with a job in a convenience store. This way, I'd be in no way a burden on my dad. The job was easy: I was to come in a few days a week and work the register for a few hours. Before he left, my dad also made sure that I was enrolled in the local middle school. Therefore, we'll skip to the day I started. I was going to be to school in a decent amount of time, and I was lucky, because it had just stopped raining and the sun was out. This quickly turned to misfortune when a car took a corner too tightly, and splashed my uniform. When I arrived at school, I changed into my gym uniform, and hurried to the teacher's office... Quote: I just want to get through this first day with no more problems. After that, it really doesn't matter... Naturally, my day couldn't remain as it was. I wasn't paying attention to where I was going and... Quote: Great, I've already bumped into someone... I should apologize... First, I'll need to get myself out of this kiss... Wait a minute, kiss?! It turned out that I had accidentally started a kiss with the Class Representative, Horaki Hikari, although I didn't know that yet. She was angry, to say the least. Quote: Shirou (scared, quickly): I'm sorry, I'm really really sorry! I wasn't looking where I was going, and... Hikari (angrily/hurt): Th... th... that... that was my first... YOU IDIOT! (She gave me an angry slap across the face and ran away, leaving me on the ground.) Shirou: What misfortune... (I entered the teacher's office.) Sensei: You must be Karigane Shirou. I'll be your teacher. You may call me Sensei. I'll show you to the classroom. Please wait outside until I introduce you. I followed him outside the classroom. I was anxious to meet my new class, even though they were a grade behind me. My father had thought it best that I go back to my normal grade, as there would be no one to supervise me, but that's beside the point. It was going to be nice, to actually be with other kids my age. Finally the teacher introduced me... Quote: Sensei: Alright class, settle down. Today we'll be getting a new student, Karigane Shirou. He came here after his father and siblings moved to Europe. Karigane-san, you may come in and introduce yourself. (I entered the room, and proceeded to write my name while addressing the other students.) Shirou: Hello everyone, my name is Karigane Shirou. Karigane is written with the Kanji for “wild goose”, and Shirou is written with the Hirigana for “sign of the snake” and “son”. Dozo yoroshiku! (I bowed, and the class started to clap. Some of the students seemed bored, but overall the class were excited to get a new student. Everything was fine until... I looked up. The first face I saw was the girl I'd bumped into. She immediately recognized me, glared, and looked away with a slightly angry “hmph”. I felt very uncomfortable.) Shirou: This is the worst... Sensei: Does anyone have any questions for Karigane-san now? Student A: Where in Europe is your family moving? Shirou: Germany. Student B: Why did you stay in Japan? Shirou (slightly depressed): I'd rather not talk about it... Toji: Hey newcomer, didja know that if ya move yer last name closer to yer first, it says “Misfortune Son”? I turned to look at the blackboard. My name is written as 厂巳郎, but if you move the 厂 for Karigane closer to the 巳 for Shi, it looks more like 厄郎, “Yakurou” or “Misfortune Son”. This person had unwittingly stumbled across my terrible nickname from grade-school. I turned around, a sour look on my face. Quote: Shirou: Yeah, I knew that. Sensei: Any other questions? No? Shirou, your seat will be behind Horaki-san. She's the class representative. (The teacher pointed at the empty seat behind the class rep. I sat down and waved at her. She gave me another – less angry – glare, and turned around to face the front of the room.) Shirou: This day just keeps getting worse... What misfortune... (After listening to the teacher drone on about the Second Impact and basic math equations, it was lunch. I stood up, and faced the class rep.) Shirou: Ano... Horaki-san, desu-ka? (Um... Horaki-san, was it?) I'm sorry about earlier... I didn't mean for anything to happen, and I wasn't paying attention to my surroundings... Will you forgive me? (She had obviously cooled down at this point, and was a bit more understanding.) Hikari (pretending to still be mad): No. Shirou (disappointed): But I thought... Hikari (lightly, happily, joking): Just kidding! Nice to meet you, Karigane Shirou, I'm the class representative, Horaki Hikari. You can call me Horaki-chan or iinchou! Shirou: Hai, nice to meet you, Horaki-chan! Please call me Shirou-kun, if you'd like. (We shook hands. One of the others, Toji, called to me from the back of the room.) Toji: Oi, Yaku-kun! I wanna talk with ya! (Upon hearing Misfortune-kun, I felt very defeated.) Shirou: Zetsubou shita. (I'm in despair.) (I followed him and his friend, Kensuke, into the hallway. He looked rather serious.) Toji: So, new kid, yer gettin' pretty close to iinchou from the start... Whadda'ya think about her? Shirou: Well, I don't know... She's cute and she seems pretty nice... Why? Toji (flustered): Uh, that is... well, I mean to say... Kensuke: He likes iinchou, so he's a little jealous of you, new guy. Toji (red-faced, flustered, and angry): KENSUKE, YOU IDIOT! I don't... I don't... I don't like her like that. (He didn't have me convinced.) Shirou (laughing): Hehe, well you won't have to worry about me, I think. I haven't known her as long as you. Anyway, I'm Karigane Shirou. You two are? Kensuke: Aida Kensuke. Yoroshiku! Toji (calming down a bit): Su... Suzuhara Toji. Yoroshiku. (After the teacher continued to prattle on about subjects I was already knowledgeable in, class was over.) Hikari: Rise! Bow! Dismissed. (I started to leave the school.) Toji: Hey, Karigane! Kensuke and I are gonna go to the arcade now. Ya wanna come with us? Shirou: Sorry Suzuhara, I need to get to my part-time job now... I work in a convenience store to pay the rent. Maybe another time! (I arrived at work, put on my apron, and stood behind the counter, prepared for the scheduled 4 hours of drudgery that lay ahead. I was admiring the sunset, when I met Toji's sister, Suzuhara Mei.) Suzuhara Mei: You were with Onii-chan earlier, weren't you, mister? Shirou: Onii-chan? (I didn't know who she was talking about, at the time.) Mei: I'm Suzuhara Mei, Toji's little sister! Shirou: Ah, nice to meet you Suzuhara-chan. On second thought, may I call you Mei-chan? It sounds weird because I just met your brother. Mei: Sure, mister! What's your name? I haven't seen you before. Shirou: I'm Karigane Shirou. I moved here a few days ago. (A warning alarm went off. Being new to the city, I didn't know where any of the shelters were.) Shirou: A warning alarm? (sighs) I get here, and there's nearly immediately an alarm. What misfortune... Mei: Come on, Shirou-kun, I know a shelter near here! (I barely managed to keep up with her.) Shirou: It's a good thing she was here. I don't think I would have made it to a shelter otherwise. Shirou: Mei-chan, what's going on? Mei: I don't know. (She pointed at a television in the shelter.) Look. It's just a general emergency. (There was an explosion in the distance, followed by a rumbling noise.) Shirou: That doesn't sound like a general emergency... Mei: Shirou-kun, what was that? Are we ok? Shirou (cheerfully): Of course, Mei-chan! Everything will be fine! Nothing can go wrong in this shelter, right? (I knew what I was saying was not the case, but I still felt like I had to comfort Toji's sister. There was another explosion, this one louder and closer. The rumbling was more violent than before, and didn't show any indication of stopping. I heard a cracking noise from above, and saw gaps appearing in the ceiling.) Shirou: Mei, watch out! (I pushed her away from under the cracks forming in the ceiling. However, that still wasn't enough, so I dove on top of her.) Shirou: Get down! A large piece of the ceiling fell on my back. It shattered in two, so the damage I took wasn't too great, but my back was bleeding, and my chest was on fire. There was dust in the air, and my vision was fading, but I managed to look out of the hole in the roof of the shelter. I couldn't comprehend what I was seeing. To me, it looked like a strange armored human was fighting a giant black creature. I passed out. The next thing I remember, I was in the hospital. Quote: Mei: Shirou-nii, wake up! Wake up Shirou-nii! Shirou (disoriented): Huh? Wha-? Where am I? Kensuke: You're at the hospital. That's some injury you've got, Shirou. Toji: Hey Shirou... Shirou: Hm? Toji: Thanks for savin' my lil' sis'. If there's anything I can do for ya... (He hugged me. It was quite painful, as I had cuts down my back, and a few cracked ribs.) Shirou (strained): It was nothing. Hey Toji, can you let up a bit? Toji (letting go quickly): Ah, sorry! Anyway, I met the pilot of that thing the other day... I punched him for hurting ya, Shirou! Shirou: Come on, Toji, that's not the case... The roof collapsed! How did the pilot cause that? More importantly... (I remembered the Berserk Evangelion Unit fighting the Angel.) Shirou: … That other thing would have killed us! You should apologize to him! Toji: Ah... Perhaps... I'll think about it... Nurse: Visiting hours are over. (The other three left the room, leaving the Nurse.) Your injuries weren't as severe as they could have been, Karigane-san. You'll be able to leave in a week or so. Indeed my injuries weren't that terrible, and I was out of the hospital a week from that day. I went back to school, where Hikari-chan (that's what she told me to call her, at this point) told me that I was very cool, and it was brave to save Toji's sister like that. A student I had never seen before crossed the room, and headed for his seat. He was a bit shorter than me, and had medium length brown hair. He seemed like a loner, and later I would come to find he could also be rather soft-spoken. I also noticed a blue-haired girl in the back of the classroom. She seemed to pay no attention to anything but the window, and had bandages covering her right arm and head. I figured that these two had to be involved with the recent battle. It was lunch that day, and I wanted to talk with the two students I'd seen earlier, but both of them had disappeared. The warning siren rang again. I'd followed the other students to the shelter, but decided to sneak away to the exit to catch a peek at what was going on outside. Nothing happened immediately, but Kensuke and Toji arrived at the exit as well. It seemed as though Kensuke had convinced Toji to come along with him for the same purpose I was here. However, Kensuke decided that we should go to the top of the hill. That turned out to be a serious mistake. Quote: Kensuke: Awesome! Makes all the trouble we're going to get into worth it! (The Eva appeared from a launch pad, and the Angel unfolded itself. Eva grabbed the Gatling gun, and proceeded to fire at the Angel. Naturally, the shots merely served as a smokescreen. The Angel lashed out at Eva, and it was thrown down to the ground.) Kensuke: Wow, he must not be seeing straight from that punch you gave him... Toji: Sh-shut up! (Eva managed to dodge many of the hits the Angel threw at it, but the umbilical cable was severed. Eva ended up against a building, where the Angel grabbed Eva by the leg, and threw it into the air. We panicked.) Toji & Kensuke: AAAAAHHHHHHH! Shirou: You've gotta be kidding me... (Eva landed right next to us, it's hand narrowly avoiding us.) Toji: So why doesn't he fight it? Kensuke: I think it's because we're here. If he moves, we're done for! Shirou: What misfortune... (The plug extended, and a ladder fell to the ground.) Misato (from speakers): You three, get in! Hurry! (It was dark inside the entry plug...) Toji: It's wet... Kensuke: My camera! My camera!! Shirou (coughing): What is this stuff? Maya (through the comm): Abnormal conditions occurring in the nervous system! Synch ratio is barely above the activation line! Ritsuko (through the comm): Of course! You've let three foreign bodies into the matrix! They're noise in the Nerve Impulse System! Maya (through the comm): Contact at surface! Protective film three, melting! Shirou: This thing is thought operated? What is the new kid's plan? I have to try and think like him... But I've never met him before... Misato (through the comm): Shinji-kun, get out of there! Use extraction route 34 on the other side of the mountains. Toji: Hey, new kid, she said to retreat! New kid! Shinji: I mustn't run away... I mustn't run away... I mustn't run away! Maya (through comm): Eva has equipped progressive knife! Shirou: He's gonna rush it. Better make this one count! (The timer on the side of the cockpit reached one minute.) Shinji: AAAAaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Maya (comm): Synch ratio is rising! It's close to normal levels! Ritsuko (comm): What?! (The Angel used its whips to impale Eva's stomach. I felt it as well as Shinji.) Shinji: AAAaaaaAAAAAAAAAGH! Shirou: Take this! (Eva stabbed the Angel dead center in the core.) Maya: Shogouki activation time remaining: 30 seconds! 29! 28! 27! 26! 25! (Time elapses) 15! 14! 13! 12! 11! 10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! (The core went dim.) Hyuga: Target is silent! Maya: 2! 1! Shogouki has ceased activation! At the time, I'd thought that he'd just earned a victory. Little did I know that it would be setting me up for an even greater misfortune... Nerv started monitoring me at this point. I didn't know about it though. Shinji (the pilot) didn't come back to school for a couple of days. When he finally showed up, Toji asked him for a punch, just so they were even. I introduced myself to Shinji. A few days later, I was off from work, and figured it would be best if we (Shinji, Kensuke, Toji and I) could hang out. Unfortunately, another warning alarm rang at this point, and Shinji left to fight the Angel. I decided to sneak away from the class, just to see what kind of Angel he would be fighting this time. The entrance to this shelter overlooked the center of the city, so I watched as the blue octahedron floated toward the middle of Tokyo-3. It had a high-pitched angelic moan that overwhelmed the senses, even at the distance I was at. The midsection of the Angel grew bright, and as the Eva appeared from the ground, it began to transform. I knew it was going to attack at long range, so I held up my arm to block the light from the beam that shot the Eva. Hikari-chan noticed my absence, and came to find me... Quote: Hikari: Shirou, what are you doing here?! You're supposed to be inside with the class... (She was interrupted by another high-pitched whine. The Angel started to change, and bright lights formed at the tips where the energy was gathering.) Shirou: This attack is going to be much more powerful! Shirou: Hikari-chan! Look away! The light is too intense! I ran for the entrance, grabbed her, and slammed my fist against button for the emergency door. The noise was deafening, even inside the compound. I passed out. Hikari-chan went back to the class, but Kensuke and Toji watched me. When I finally got up, I told them about what I'd seen out there. Kensuke decided that we should call Shinji. Quote: Toji: Um... This is Suzuhara. Ikari, no... Shinji... Shinji, we're counting on you! Kensuke: Hey, this is Aida. Ikari, do your best! Shirou: Shinji, it's Shirou. I saw that thing earlier... I'm really into strategy, and one thing I know is that the enemy never reveals its full hand at the beginning of the battle. It's probably going to be harder from here on, but we believe in you. Good luck! We couldn't see the battle, but when the lights came back on a few minutes after midnight, we knew that Shinji had won. We didn't know it, but that phone call went a long way. Some time later Shinji's commander, Misato-san, invited us on a fantastic “cruise”. During times like this, I was skeptical as to how much of a cruise it would be, but it sounded interesting anyway. I knew I was correct when I saw our transport: a MIG 55D transport helicopter (as Kensuke told us). It turned out that we were going to the U.N. Pacific Fleet, which was transporting the third Eva Unit: Nigouki. We also met the Second Children: Soryu Asuka Langley. She turned out to be really volatile, but I figure that as long as you don't do anything beyond that which common sense dictates, or insensitive, you wouldn't set her off and she'd be just fine to be around. Later that trip, the fourth Angel I had been around attacked. It was more or less like a fish, so when Shinji and Asuka-chan in Nigouki failed to defeat it on land, they used an attack that made the Eva bait. Misato-san had two battleships fire at the Angel's core at point blank range, which naturally was more than the beast could take. Still, I just couldn't help but feel useless. This was the fourth time I'd been around an Angel, and not been able to do anything, which is why when we got back, I asked if there was any way I could assist the pilots. Misato-san told me that there was nothing official yet, but that in a few days, Kensuke, Toji, and I were to be tested. The day of the test, I put on the strange suit Misato-san had given me. It was primarily brown with green accents. Didn't look like much, but it fit well. It almost reminded me of the time dad took my brothers and I diving. When I saw her again, she led us to a chamber with three tubes inside. These looked like the thing Shinji was piloting in, but when I got inside, it felt very different than the one he was piloting. The fluid inside Shinji's wasn't exactly cold, but it was very uncomfortable, like it was trying to snuff me out. In this “plug” as they called it, I felt very comfortable. The fluid, “LCL”, seemed inviting, warm, cozy, like a blanket. Shinji's smelled of iron, like blood. Before I could analyze what mine smelled like, Misato interrupted and started the test. I felt something different about the LCL, like it was tingling a little. Misato-san reassured me that they were just charging the LCL, and the feeling would go away momentarily. After this procedure was completed, there was another feeling, like something was “humming” into my head. I let my mind open, tried to complete the various frequencies that were in my head. I matched the pitch, and then the feeling started to resonate and grow, the “noise” getting louder. Even though it was louder, I wasn't annoyed or pained by the intensity. It felt normal, like a part of me, and yet, I felt as though someone else were there. I could feel another presence, one that I presumed was the Eva. It felt like a big hug from someone I'd not seen in years, and I'd finally placed the smell of the LCL as taiyaki. I started to cry a little. Quote: Misato (comm): What is it Shirou-kun? Something wrong? Shirou: No, nothing's wrong... It just reminded me of someone, that's all... Apparently of us three, I'd gotten the highest marks. Misato-san sent the other two home, but kept me a little longer for another test with the three pilots. We were told to get out of our plug-suits, as the testing environment could be affected by the littlest contaminant. In the end, I found my way to another plug, but this one, as I was told, was connected to a “Simulation Body”, which is something like a partial Eva unit. The tests were proceeding fine: I (along with the other three) was being told to focus on moving parts of the Simulation Body, and having more success than I would have expected. However, partway through the test, it started to feel like a mixture of thought-noise was present, almost like static on a television. My connection started to feel fuzzy, and Ayanami-chan's unit started moving by itself. At this point, the techs realized that an Angel had started to invade the circuitry of the computers, and ejected us from the Simulation Bodies. This “circuitry Angel” tried to hack the “Magi” (which I was later told are the computers responsible for analysis, tactics, and other essential operations of Nerv), but was unsuccessful when the head scientist, Akagi-sensei programmed a counter-virus to destroy the Angel. The next week, there was supposed to be a class trip to Okinawa, but I had other plans. My dad had decided a while back to come to Japan this week so the two of us could go rock climbing, so I remained behind. It seemed that Asuka-chan, Ayanami-chan, and Shinji would also be staying here, but that was because they needed to be on standby in case of an Angel attack. As I was not yet a pilot, I was lucky enough to still have the freedom of changing plans, or, at least I thought I was lucky. Since I happened to appear before every Angel attack so far, Nerv was somewhat suspicious of me. They believed that I had something to do with the Angels, but I didn't know that. Furthermore, this mountain climbing expedition would take me one step further into this suspicion. It turned out that another Angel was about to hatch inside the volcano we were climbing, and Nerv was going to capture it that day. Nerv had to battle the Angel inside the magma, and their agents caught us instead. We were both released, dad went back to Germany, and I returned to Tokyo-3. I had assumed that they found me innocent. What happened next took everyone by surprise. Evangelion Yongouki disappeared. Apparently, something had gone wrong with the test of the S2 (Super Solenoid) engine that the Americans were trying to use on it, and the resulting shift in energy wiped out most of the Nevada desert. They were sending Eva Sangouki to Japan, and that meant that another pilot would have to be picked. It wasn't official, but I was looking like the top candidate. I was further convinced of this when Toji told me his grandfather decided to take him and his sister and move away from Tokyo-3, and Kensuke's dad was transferred to another branch. As everyone else was moving away, Hikari-chan had been spending more time with me. I hadn't figured out exactly why she wanted to, but I kinda liked it. Asuka-chan occasionally told me that I was more dense than Baka-Shinji, but I didn't really care. It came as no surprise the day I was called to the office and made a pilot. Hikari-chan spent the day before the activation test with me, and I ended up talking about how the plug reminded me of my mom, and how she died. Hikari-chan assured me that everything would be fine tomorrow. The next day, I donned my brown plug-suit, and was taken over to the secondary activation site in Matsushiro. I was nervous, but I was also extremely excited. I already knew what it was like to be inside an Eva, and a bit about how to control it, so I was feeling somewhat confident. I stared at Sangouki with anxiety, wishing to get the test over with so I could return to a semi-normal routine. The navy blue unit returned my gaze blankly, as it was not yet active. Soon enough, it was time, and I entered the plug. It seemed a little chillier than usual, but I did my best to “match pitch” as the unit started up. Once I'd reached the magnitude for start level, however, the harmonic changed to an augmented chord. I sensed something else, and the Eva started moving by itself. I couldn't tell what was going on outside, but later I was told that Sangouki released a massive burst of energy, ripping the Matsushiro facility to shreds. As I struggled to regain control, the other existence became a more pressing matter. Quote: Shirou: Who are you? Bardiel: I am but a humble servant of the master, Adam. You Lilim would call me an Angel. Shirou: What are you doing? Bardiel: I am to deliver us to salvation. Shirou: When you say “us”, do you mean humans or Angels? Bardiel: Does it matter? Shirou: Yes! Yes it matters! Bardiel: Why? Aren't you and I the same? Don't you wish to become one, and create a peaceful world? Shirou: You are you. I am me. We cannot be one and hope to continue to exist. You cannot hope to understand me, as I cannot hope to understand you. For my existence, and for yours, I reject you! I could feel the augmented chord start to resolve into its original major. I could almost feel the will of the Eva come back. The Angel was slipping, but I couldn't stop Sangouki. I watched in horror as Shogouki charged at Sangouki, and proceeded to rip it in two. I managed to eject the plug, but the dummy-plug controlled Shogouki split it in half. As the half of the plug I was in landed, I hit my head hard. When I came to, I was told that I had been out for around three days. Hikari-chan, no, Hikari visited shortly after. Quote: Shirou: Hikari...chan? Hikari: Shirou-kun, what happened? Shirou: Well, I was a pilot for all of thirty seconds. An Angel had infected my unit, and upon activation... (I shuddered as I remembered this. It was not a pleasant experience.) Shirou: I don't quite remember what happened afterward, though... Hikari: I'm glad you're alright... I was really worried about you. (She paused, uncertain as to what to say next.) Hikari: Um... Because of the recent incident, it's been decided that I'll be staying with relatives... I don't think I'll be seeing you for a while, so I wanted to say thanks and... Um... (Her face was really red. I didn't know what was going on. She leaned over, and kissed me.) Hikari: I like you, Shirou. At this point, she was told to leave by a nurse. I was conflicted as ever. On the one hand, I did in fact like Hikari, but on the other, I'd told Toji that I wouldn't get in the way. Also, if she moved now, it was likely I wouldn't see her for a few years. I uttered my catchphrase: “What misfortune.” That wasn't the end of it. Nerv's growing suspicion for me finally reached its tolerance point during the incident with Sangouki, so it was ordered that I be put into confinement until the remaining four of thirteen Angels were dealt with. This was absolutely horrible, as I was completely innocent, but there was no proof for or against me. I only submitted after they gave another reason: I may be contaminated by the Angel. Confinement was boring. No information got in or out of that cell, and the food was terrible. Nevertheless, my boredom proved I was sane at the very least, and I managed to have a few books sent in. The weeks passed as quickly as they could for someone trapped in a box, but my freedom was quite satisfying. The news I received when I left, however, was not. The tenth Angel attacked only a few days after I was placed in solitary, and was said to have penetrated at least 22 of the armored layers in one hit. Asuka-chan laid down some covering fire to slow it down, to no effect. Her circuits were cut off just as the Angel decapitated Nigouki. Ayanami-chan sortied in Zerogouki (despite its lack of an arm, thanks to the incident with Sangouki). She tried a suicide maneuver with an N2 mine. However, the Angel protected itself at the last second, leaving Zerogouki out of the fight. Shinji (who apparently left Nerv after fighting Sangouki) decided to pilot Shogouki once again, and after attaining a synch ratio of 400%, managed to defeat and then devour the tenth Angel. A pilot who attains a synch ratio of 400%, however, becomes LCL. After roughly a month, they managed to reconstruct Shinji from the mix inside Shogouki. The eleventh Angel appeared in orbit above headquarters only a few days later. Asuka-chan was the first to sortie, and upon pulling the trigger of her positron rifle, the Angel attacked with some sort of light-beam, which I'm guessing had a similar, if not more debilitating effect as the one that invaded Sangouki. It probed her mind, left her broken. The Fifth Children, Nagisa Kaworu arrived shortly after that attack, and replaced Asuka as the pilot of Nigouki. Nagisa and Shinji got along extraordinarily well, but that wasn't enough during the twelfth Angel attack. Ayanami-chan was the first out in Zerogouki, followed quickly by Nagisa in Nigouki. The Angel, a glowing ring of light, split, and one end tried to invade Zerogouki. Rei attempted to prevent it with a sniper rifle, but failed to do any real damage as the Angel started its real attack. Nagisa kept the Angel at bay for a while with the dual saw, but in the end, even that didn't work. Shinji was sent up as a diversion, so the Angel let go of Nigouki to chase Shogouki. Rei collapsed her Absolute Terror Field (AT Field, as they called it), and absorbed the Angel before self-destructing. Rei was somehow alive, but she seemed entirely different afterward. The final Angel's identity was the largest shock to me, and yet, I shouldn't have been surprised. If Nerv had suspected me for being involved with the Angels, what would that stop another employee from actually being one? The last Angel was none other than Nagisa Kaworu himself. Controlling Nigouki remotely, he fought against Shinji in Shogouki. There was extreme damage to both Evas, but Shogouki was able to disable Nigouki and chase after Kaworu. Shinji managed to stop Nagisa from initiating Third Impact, but was forced to kill him in the process. He hasn't spoken to anyone since, and spends his time in Asuka's hospital room. With the other pilots out of their right mental states, and Hikari, Toji, and Kensuke gone, there was nothing to do anymore. Loneliness set in quickly, and I found myself spending time in the entry plug for harmonics testing. I became dependent on it. It was the only thing that could get me through the day anymore. That beautiful presence, that reminder of my mom... The state of being I could only achieve in the plug. I was happy there, for a little while, but I always had to come out to eat, or go to the bathroom, and I'd remember what situation I was in. Then came the last attack. I remember leaving the entry plug to get some lunch, and walking past Shinji. He seemed to be sweating, like he'd been outside recently, or something. I waved, but he didn't seem to notice me at all. Then, the announcement came on over the speakers... Someone told me that the JSSDF were invading Headquarters, and that the pilots were to get to the cages immediately. I remember thinking: Quote: Jeez, what a Christmas present this is... “Merry Christmas, Nerv! Here's an invasion force!” As I descended the stairs to get to the cages, a panicked crowd of employees ran in the opposite direction, catching me off balance. I tumbled down the stairs, and broke my neck. The last thing I remember thinking was: Quote: What... mis...for...tune... Shirou: That's it. I died. But... I'm still here. I suppose the Third Impact started. This must be it, right? Mother: Yes. This is Instrumentality. The joining of all souls into one. You cannot tell where you begin to exist, and where you end. Shirou: Ah, so I am dead? Hikari: Yes, and no. Shirou: Why do you come to me as such visions? Hikari: We are the words... Mother: Comfort. Hikari: … and Love. Mother: We are the ones who you most desire to be with. Here you can exist with us forever. Shirou: I have wished to see you for a long time, mom. And... I missed you, Hikari. Mother: Then will you stay? Shirou: I know I can be with you here, mom. But here I also don't exist at all. In that world, I was certain that I existed, but I didn't know if anyone else did. In this one, I know everyone else exists, and at the same time, I'm uncertain about all existence, including my own. I... I think she'll go back. And, while it's tough without you, mom, I think I can get by until I see you again. Mother: Then this is your choice? Shirou: … It's tough, but... Yes. I'll go back. Hey mom? Mother: Hm? Shirou: Let's go get some taiyaki next time. As I started to leave, I heard her say one more thing. Mother: It's alright, Shirou. I'll always be here for you. I found myself face-up on a beach, wearing my plug-suit and a neck-brace. It was nighttime, but something was different about the sky. A red stream snaked its way through the heavens, and there was a splatter of it on the moon. I sat up, and surveyed my surroundings. The mountains surrounding this place were completely bare, and the water in the lake before me was red. Far in the distance, I saw half of an absolutely gigantic head resembling Rei-chan. I didn't know exactly how Third Impact was triggered, but I assumed that had something to do with it. I looked around again, and upon seeing no one else, I lay back down. Shirou: What misfortune... END Timeline of Events 2001 July 26th: -Karigane Shirou born. 2007 August: -Shirou's mother shot and dies. -Shirou's father decides to move the family to Kyoto. 2015 August: -Shirou's father moves the family to Germany. Shirou stays behind in Japan, finding a place in Tokyo-3. -Shirou starts school. Accidentally kisses class rep, meets Toji, Kensuke, and Suzuhara Mei. Sachiel attacks. Shirou defends Mei from falling debris in a shelter. Ends up in hospital -Shirou released from hospital. Notices two students he's not yet met (Shinji and Rei). Shamshel attacks. Shirou ends up in entry plug with Kensuke and Toji. Manages to offset the “noise” by trying to think like Shinji. -Shinji returns from being absent. Shinji punches Toji, Shirou introduces himself. September: -Ramiel attacks. Shirou watches the first battle, but gets in the shelter when Hikari follows him. Toji, Kensuke, and Shirou leave a message for Shinji (a la Rebuild). -Gaghiel attacks. Asuka arrives in Japan with Nigouki. -Toji, Kensuke, and Shirou undergo Harmonics Testing. Shirou continues on to participate in the test with the Simulation Bodies with Shinji, Asuka, and Rei. Iruel attacks. October: -Okinawa trip. Shirou's dad returns to Japan for rock climbing. Sandalphon hatches. Nerv is wary of Shirou. -Yongouki vanishes. America makes arrangements to have Sangouki sent to Japan. -Toji and Kensuke (along with a majority of the class) move. -Shirou selected as the pilot of Sangouki. -Sangouki arrives in Japan. Bardiel attacks upon activation at Matsushiro. Shirou manages to eject the plug, but still suffers great injury. -Hikari kisses Shirou goodbye. Shirou is guilty that he couldn't keep his promise to Toji. -Shirou placed in solitary confinement at the order of Gendo. -Zeruel attacks. Shinji achieves 400% synch, and becomes soup. November: -Shinji is de-soupified. December: -Arael attacks. Asuka is mind-raped. -Nagisa Kaworu arrives as the Fifth Children to replace Asuka. Shinji and Kaworu are friends. -Armisael attacks. Rei sacrifices herself to take out the Angel. -Tabris attacks. Shinji enters a deep depression. Shirou let out of jail. -Christmas. JSSDF invades. Shirou dies falling down stairs. Third Impact begins. -Shirou de-soupifies himself. Utters his catchphrase.

Great work, Agentomega! I really appreciate the amount of effort you poured onto this!

Next time:
Vegeta 20XX

Note: I warn that the next few guys might be late or absent for their Presentations. We'll just have to wait and see.

_________________
Live, Fight, and Die!

Now Judging for the EvADC!
The LDC soon!

[Great Genius Shinji-Sama]

UGH! I still have nothing! :faceplam:

_________________
Avatar: chibi akuma Shinji
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XBOX LIVE GAMERTAG: ShinjiSama01
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http://shinjisama.wordpress.com/

[Formless One]

*Sees length of entry*

Oh, jeeeeeeezus.

I hope no one minds, but I don't think I'm going to post any more critiques for a while, at least not until I get my entry finished for good. I think I'm going to try and keep mine short this year...

I guess this is what I get for having the longest entry last year, isn't it.

_________________
[/opinion]
My (fan-)fiction — My art

My 1337'th post.

[Agentomega]

Heh, sorry about the length of the entry... Once I started, I just couldn't stop. I figured I'd make my return to the forums a big one, but this (lengthy post) isn't quite what I had in mind. XD

_________________
"Kaworu, like all other Angels, can do absolutely-fucking-anything the plot demands."~AuraTwilight
"'Make good use of this money, Rei. I’ve just bankrupted Canada,' Gendo says."~Lucretius
"Wait, we can come back with boobies..I pick that option. :w00t:"~Otakon 08 Ikari
"GIANT NAKED BURT REYNOLDS - CANNOT UNSEE."~LiLi
"Fuyutsuki, the truth is... I'm a magnificent bastard." "What's next? Praying Mantis Kung Fu?"~UrsusArctos

Xbox Live Gamer Tag: OM3GAS7RIK3
My Webcomic, C Cubed

[Chowwow]

News just in: Vegeta 20XX has missed his deadline and Themaninblack and is expected to be late. Neither of these guys have responded to their PMs, so I expect the worse. GGSS still has nothing, so I will be pushing him back as well. I'll wait until they miss their Presentation dates before I reschedule them.

And in good news, UrsusArctos will be back as a Designer after all. I'll give Vegeta 20XX and Themaninblack the benefit of the doubt and wait for them to Present, while I'll transfer GGSS' slot over to UrsusArctos.

So, as of January 4, 12:53 AM EST:

Designers:

Hazukari
Omegagouki
UrsusArctos
Themaninblack
Holy Diver
Great Genius Shinji-Sama ?
Vegeta 20XX
Formless One
Agentomega
Avatar of Dreams

Schedule:

Jan. 1: Omegagouki
Jan. 2: Holy Diver
Jan. 3: Agentomega
Jan. 4: Vegeta 20XX ?
Jan. 5: Themaninblack ?
Jan. 6: UrsusArctos
Jan. 7: Hazukari
Jan. 8: Formless One
Jan. 9: Avatar of Dreams
Pending: Great Genius Shinji-Sama ?

On with the show!

_________________
Live, Fight, and Die!

Now Judging for the EvADC!
The LDC soon!

[Great Genius Shinji-Sama]

Sadly I'm more of an artist and a technician then a writer. I'm too lazy for writing unless I manage to really get in the groove for it. Everything's conceptual and in my imagination and head. So I could get out a picture of a character (if I could use my scanner) but the backstory might be absent.

_________________
Avatar: chibi akuma Shinji
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XBOX LIVE GAMERTAG: ShinjiSama01
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http://shinjisama.wordpress.com/

[NemZ]

I was going to wait and respond to all the entries at once, but given this extended break I figure I might as well post my initial reactions.

Omegagouki - Isha Telmut:
Maybe a little overblown with the ink, but I like this bad girl's style. A Pic would have been nice. She definately fits in quite well with the eva universe (almost an Anti-Gendo), but I share FO's issues with believability of some of the action described, particularly the section in Germany and the kidnapping > hire scheme. I also agree with his comments on the vagueness of some rather important scenes.

Holy Diver - Kasuga Yamakaze:
I'm not sure this entry is even legal... that whole "must be human" clause and all. I know you left a lot of this stuff as just rumor, but he's clearly not normal by any stretch of the imagination.

Assuming it is, I have some plausibility issues. Why would Keel choose a psychopath as his heir, much less one that Gendo knows about? Why does he choose a Japanese name when he's both Caucasian and stationed in Europe? That said, I enjoyed the megalomania that the scroll brought on and thought there were some interesting tidbits in the "Involvement" section that I'd have been interested to see fleshed out a bit more.

Agentomega - Karigane Shiro:
Hooray for illustrations! I'm not a fan of the fanfic approach here though, especially the dialog portions, as quite a bit of it could easily have been summarized or even omitted without significant loss, as could the sections that occur essentially unchanged from the time of his confinement onward. Also not too wild about the alternate timeline idea in general, since as I understood it the point of this was to create characters that could believably fit within the canon universe. I like his personality,though he's surprisingly well-balanced for the eva-verse... almost seems like an ideal lead for a harem anime.

_________________
Take a rest, Asuka...

"IGNORE ME!" - The Galactic Inquisitor

Evanglion is "the equivalent of throwing an Abnormal Psych textbook into a woodchipper, gathering up the little scraps, and pasting them together with robot violence and flaming airborne crosses." - Wax Banks

[Holy Diver]

NemZ wrote:

Holy Diver - Kasuga Yamakaze: I'm not sure this entry is even legal... that whole "must be human" clause and all. I know you left a lot of this stuff as just rumor, but he's clearly not normal by any stretch of the imagination. Assuming it is, I have some plausibility issues. Why would Keel choose a psychopath as his heir, much less one that Gendo knows about? Why does he choose a Japanese name when he's both Caucasian and stationed in Europe? That said, I enjoyed the megalomania that the scroll brought on and thought there were some interesting tidbits in the "Involvement" section that I'd have been interested to see fleshed out a bit more.

I probably did push my luck with the legality of my entry, but I enjoyed the premise so much that I couldn't let it go.

Anyway, Keel chose Kasuga as he didn't have any previous loyalties and could be moulded into whatever Keel wanted him to be. Keel attempted to heal Kasuga's psychosis with Yui's help, but that ultimately failed miserably. It is not unreasonable to assume that Gendo had some clue as to Kasuga's relationship with Keel, but Kasuga's status as Keel's heir was never made known to anyone outside of Seele's top circle.

Also, Kasuga adopted a Japanese name as the PMC he was working for was based in Japan (and as a result mainly employed Japanese thugs for soldiers). Kasuga wanted to blend in more with the rank and file, and wanted a fresh start. As he had prior knowledge of Japanese, he was able to come up with an assumed name.

I would have liked to elaborate further on his activities during NGE, but due to time constraints, I was unable to. I also figured that since Kasuga was "not normal by any stretch of the imagination" the general nature of Kasuga's discussion with Kaworu would have been obvious. But, I also chose not to go into further detail on the specifics of the discussion because I thought it was best left to the reader's imagination.

_________________
Deus Io Vult! (God wills it!)
"Get your ass in gear!" Asuka

"Catdog has an S2 engine in his stomach. He does not need to eat, and whatever he does eat is reacted with antimatter to provide endless energy." Ruthlessly stolen from anon.

[Agentomega]

NemZ wrote:

Agentomega - Karigane Shiro: Hooray for illustrations! I'm not a fan of the fanfic approach here though, especially the dialog portions, as quite a bit of it could easily have been summarized or even omitted without significant loss, as could the sections that occur essentially unchanged from the time of his confinement onward. Also not too wild about the alternate timeline idea in general, since as I understood it the point of this was to create characters that could believably fit within the canon universe. I like his personality,though he's surprisingly well-balanced for the eva-verse... almost seems like an ideal lead for a harem anime.

Thanks for the feedback. After I'd started reading some of the others, I thought this might be the case (the extra detail and the things that remain the same, and influencing the plot too much). I'm glad you enjoyed his personality though (and, now that you mention it, he probably *could* be the lead in a harem anime lol). I've actually come up with a few ideas that are much less involved with the main plot, so you can look forward to those next competition :D

_________________
"Kaworu, like all other Angels, can do absolutely-fucking-anything the plot demands."~AuraTwilight
"'Make good use of this money, Rei. I’ve just bankrupted Canada,' Gendo says."~Lucretius
"Wait, we can come back with boobies..I pick that option. :w00t:"~Otakon 08 Ikari
"GIANT NAKED BURT REYNOLDS - CANNOT UNSEE."~LiLi
"Fuyutsuki, the truth is... I'm a magnificent bastard." "What's next? Praying Mantis Kung Fu?"~UrsusArctos

Xbox Live Gamer Tag: OM3GAS7RIK3
My Webcomic, C Cubed

[Formless One]

Nemz wrote:

Also not too wild about the alternate timeline idea in general, since as I understood it the point of this was to create characters that could believably fit within the canon universe.

I would like to point out that devil_eater's character last year resided in an alternate timeline. So its not unprecedented, just unusual, and perhaps not to everyone's taste.

_________________
[/opinion]
My (fan-)fiction — My art

My 1337'th post.

[NemZ]

Oh, I wasn't questioning if the alternate timeline was legal, and ultimately I'd leave that decision up to Chowwow to make anyway.

_________________
Take a rest, Asuka...

"IGNORE ME!" - The Galactic Inquisitor

Evanglion is "the equivalent of throwing an Abnormal Psych textbook into a woodchipper, gathering up the little scraps, and pasting them together with robot violence and flaming airborne crosses." - Wax Banks

[Chowwow]

NemZ wrote:

Oh, I wasn't questioning if the alternate timeline was legal, and ultimately I'd leave that decision up to Chowwow to make anyway.

Technically, it is legal to produce a Character for a "continuation" or "alternate" continuity. The Rules specifically state that Characters have to be believable within the context of the universe of Neon Genesis Evangelion, which is a very broad area to work with. Still, there does come a point where such "alternate" continuities become too divergent - that's something I leave for Designers to decide and reap the consequences of.

As for the Rule of human Characters only, I left open a loophole for people to create Non-human Characters as long as they made them human enough to interact normally with and didn't go over the top with the non-human aspects of the Character (this being the Lilim Contest and all). I think Holy Diver's submission is discreet enough to qualify for this. However, this is something I that want to discuss with everyone once this Contest comes to a conclusion.

Anyway, on to our next Character:

January 6
UrsusArctos

Quote:

Name: Erica Ranger (assumed name) Age: 16 (listed, appears older) Height: 191 cm Weight: 83 kg Date of Birth: Classified Features: Close-cropped black hair, dark brown eyes Erica is ostensibly an Evangelion standby pilot, sent to keep an eye on Nerv’s running following the Ireul incident. Tall, heavily built, and immensely strong, her physical presence is intimidating to anyone who meets her. Shinji is so afraid of her that he often cowers behind Asuka whenever she’s present- not that Asuka is any less intimidated by her. Only Kaji, Gendo and Fuyutsuki can look her in the eye and get away with it, or so it seems. Neither the pilots nor the bridge bunnies know what she’s doing here, or what she is capable of- although the Nerv top brass seem to be intent on putting her to the best possible use in refining the dummy system. They are concerned that she might be a spy, and as a “replacement pilot”, she is capable of getting close to the other pilots, although she doesn’t attend school with them. More often than not, Nerv security has been observed letting her into the school compound during lunch break. Misato has protested against it, but to little effect. The guards have explicit orders to let her do as she pleases. The old teacher (Nebukawa no sensei) fainted at the sight of her, or so Toji and Kensuke claim. This rather masculine young woman is almost always seen dressed in a black shirt and black trousers, and her plug suit is black with green trim- and a unique chest plate that resembles a double V. Her hair is cropped so short that her scalp is visible. Her right hand has an extra thumb, so she normally goes into the plug suit not wearing the right arm segment. Her dark brown eyes are narrowed in an almost perpetual squint, and she rarely displays any emotion, following most of her orders without question. The one quality about her that surprises everyone is her voice, which is deep and soft, and strangely sad. None of the pilots can figure out what she is so sad about, but they are often too nervous to ask her. History: When they do ask her about her past, they are inevitably frustrated. Erica seems to be nearly as mysterious as Rei, although she is far more responsive when talked to. Invariably, however, her response is a lopsided smile and the words, “It’s just baggage. No need to carry it in my head” or some other variation thereof. Her persistent, almost mechanical, cryptic replies to such probing (and the disturbing lopsided grin, “Like a slasher” as Asuka put it) quickly put off further questioning. There is good reason for her to be so weird. Her past, as far as she remembers it, was rather simple. She grew up in a normal family in Bayern (Bavaria), with her father, mother and a younger brother. Her father was an auto mechanic and her mother a storekeeper. She was just old enough to remember the initial years of hell that followed Second Impact, during which time her family lived in constant fear of being robbed or murdered. Her younger brother died in an accident when she was eleven, filling the family with a profound sadness right when they seemed to be entering happier times. School, which she never had been very regular in attending when she was a child, turned out to be a greater and greater pain as she grew up. She never liked boys, and she never shared the tastes of her classmates. Her interests were mostly physical- basketball, and Krav Maga, which was taught to her by an ex-Israeli serviceman. However, no amount of Krav Maga or basketball could keep her from falling into depression, the feeling that she had nowhere to go or nothing to do. She turned to substance abuse- and spent four months in a near-death situation as a result. She woke from her coma to find a black-suited man at her bedside. Her family were dead, killed in an act of terrorism, he said. He offered her the choice of remaining as a vegetable- or fighting those who had took the lives of her parents. She had, for the first time, a future to look forward to. And she never looked back. Her already formidable physical capabilities were honed further, and she was trained in firearms and spy devices. At the same time, she was instructed in a strange, deviant Christian theology, one that gave her a deep sense of hope for the future of mankind. She would be an assassin for an unknown employer- and that employer revealed itself to be the secret organization Seele. Or so she thinks. In reality, Erica is a hybrid between Kaworu Nagisa, former Seele committeeman Norio Ikari, and Keel Lorenz’s departed grand-niece of the same name, with her memories lifted from Erica Lorenz’s memories and warped accordingly. Keel authorized Erica’s construction as a replacement for his grand-niece, utilizing cellular remnants from the mandorla of Tabris to try to resurrect her. The initial attempts failed due to Erica having a genetic precondition that caused early attempts to turn cancerous rapidly. Keel Lorenz, despairing of ever seeing Erica again, told the rest of the scientists at the Geist (Mind) facility in Hamburg to “do what they wanted” with the test remains. Splicing together genes from a frozen blood sample of Norio Ikari finally yielded a viable embryo, which was grown in an artificial womb. Erica has grown up in very much the same manner as Rei, being artificially aged in a laboratory and treated more as an experiment than a human being. Seele’s repeated experiments with Erica’s physical and hormonal makeup have resulted in her gaining abnormal strength. Their attempts to use her as a testbed for memory implantation/inhibition, so essential in controlling the souls of Mass Production Evangelions, have resulted in her getting a semi-coherent, but dreamlike set of memories. Deep within, Erica knows that her memories aren’t real, but she has no idea what her real memories are like. Her body comprises mostly of the same matter as other Lilin, although she has limited amounts of Luminous Angel Matter present within her cells. This gives her no special abilities- unlike Kaworu, she is utterly incapable of manifesting an A.T. Field and her abnormal strength is purely hormonal. She could be best described as an artificial Lilin “tainted” by Angel matter. At Nerv- Pressed into service as a spy and an assassin, Erica proves to be a considerable nuisance for Kaji, but not enough to prevent Kaji from sneaking away with Seele’s deepest secrets, including the secret of her own existence. She receives a package from Kaji shortly after the latter’s assassination, complete with extensive details of the mind-altering procedures used on her. She realizes quickly that her actual memories still exist, suppressed beneath the artificial layers clumsily dumped into her mind. Unfortunately for Seele, one of those memories involved Kaworu Nagisa, the donor whose human genes made her creation possible. Upon Kaworu’s arrival at Nerv, Erica recalls his name from the depths of her memory- and outs him as an Angel at once. Kaworu hovers down to Terminal Dogma on his own, and Shinji in Eva-01 manages to block his way to Lilith. Kaworu, disappointed, surrenders his life. Erica spares Shinji the pain of killing him by pulling out a Micro-Uzi and doing the job herself. Erica takes part in the grand invasion of Nerv, taking care of JSSDF troops with her exceptional close-combat skills. However, she is crippled in a rocket attack by hovercraft. Her life draining out of her, she tells Misato and Shinji to get to the Evas. Her last image is that of Yui’s messenger standing over her. Given a choice between living on Earth as a human being and drifting off into nonexistence, she chooses to live, and emerges from a large lake of LCL within the remains of the Geofront, post-3I, determined to create a life with memories that are entirely her own. Postscript: I created this character as a kind of Lilin counterpart to Kaworu and Rei. She's named for an old German marching song and for the World War Two aircraft carrier USS Ranger.

Thanks for joining us after all, UrsusArctos!

Next time:
Hazukari

Here is the rest of the schedule so far:

Schedule:

Jan. 1: Omegagouki
Jan. 2: Holy Diver
Jan. 3: Agentomega
Jan. 4: Vegeta 20XX (Rescheduled)
Jan. 5: Themaninblack (Rescheduled)
Jan. 6: UrsusArctos
Jan. 7: Hazukari
Jan. 8: Formless One
Jan. 9: Avatar of Dreams
Rescheduled, Jan. 10: Vegeta 20XX
Rescheduled, Jan. 11: Themaninblack
Rescheduled, Jan. 12: Great Genius Shinji-Sama

Our late guys have been rescheduled now. Themaninblack has his done, it simply needs some touches that he wants to put in, so look forward to that!

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Live, Fight, and Die!

Now Judging for the EvADC!
The LDC soon!

[Holy Diver]

Quote:

Erica spares Shinji the pain of killing him by pulling out a Micro-Uzi and doing the job herself.

This is the greatest thing I have ever read.

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Deus Io Vult! (God wills it!)
"Get your ass in gear!" Asuka

"Catdog has an S2 engine in his stomach. He does not need to eat, and whatever he does eat is reacted with antimatter to provide endless energy." Ruthlessly stolen from anon.

[Great Genius Shinji-Sama]

Okay here's the deal; any characters I come out with will most likely have a discription if not a pic as well and a personality but I also have a billion other personal projects and things I'm into not to mention just not feeling like taking the time to work on them during my breaks at work. So I'm beginning to wonder if I should just drop out or not. P.S.: I'm one of the world's worst slackers and procrastinators.

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Avatar: chibi akuma Shinji
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XBOX LIVE GAMERTAG: ShinjiSama01
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http://shinjisama.wordpress.com/