The headcanon thread

[Arcadia's legacy]

Headcanon disproven

[Bagheera]

Well, the Angels are reincarnated from FAR souls who would have needed to undergo an Instrumentality-like process in order to be collected into the Seeds' Chambers of Guf, so this isn't completely wrong.

Eh? How is collecting all the souls in one place in any way similar to suppressing their AT Fields and merging them? I don't understand what similarity you're speaking of here. It's like saying the Chamber of Guf is similar to New York City because both have a bunch of souls in one place.

[Chuckman]

I dunno man there's some freaky shit in New York City.

[Reichu]

I don't understand what similarity you're speaking of here.

"...an Instrumentality-like process in order to be collected into the Seeds' Chambers of Guf" seems to suggest that I was referring to the whole Anti ATF, tangification, and soul collecting thing. While the process clearly isn't exclusive to HIP, what's actually seen in the show will be foremost in the general audience's minds, hence why I wrote my comment that way. Perhaps "Impact" would have been better, but the day my brain is always operating at top capacity is the day I retire with ten billion dollars in the can. Hopefully this alleviates any confusion.

[Bagheera]

"...an Instrumentality-like process in order to be collected into the Seeds' Chambers of Guf" seems to suggest that I was referring to the whole Anti ATF, tangification, and soul collecting thing. While the process clearly isn't exclusive to HIP, what's actually seen in the show will be foremost in the general audience's minds, hence why I wrote my comment that way. Perhaps "Impact" would have been better, but the day my brain is always operating at top capacity is the day I retire with ten billion dollars in the can. Hopefully this alleviates any confusion.

"Impact-like" makes more sense, yes.

[Iuvenal]

I dunno man there's some freaky shit in New York City.

The really freaky stuff went away when Giuliani gave Times Square the ol' Augean stables treatment.

[Nineball]

End of Evangelion was Shinji, Gendo and Rei experiencing an awful acid trip and a subsequent psychological breakdown after a random Seele thug spiked their food

Alternatively End of Evangelion was Anno seeing into the future and noticing the success of the Silent Hill franchise and creepypastas and subsequently decided to make EOE based off of that

If the Timeloop Theory is correct than each time it resets things become less and less horrific for the cast. First time = End of Eva, second time = EOTV, third time = Rebuilds, fourth time = likely the Shinji Ikari Raising Project or Nobody Dies

Gendo's full name is an anagram for Ignore A Kid. Fitting since he ran away from Shinji and likely considered Rei to be expendable cannon-fodder

SEELE selected the most mentally unstable\traumatized\incompetent people to run NERV on purpose so that way if their version of instrumentality doesn't play out they still have Gendo and the Angels to turn everyone into Matrix-Tang

The First Ancestral Race was actually a coalition of different sentient species rather than just one. This would explain the radically different designs of the Angels and why the closest thing to the FAR are either pale naked humans, reptilian-like beings covered in bandages and restraining gear, and giant creatures of light. (and in the case of Anima blue-haired humans)

Most of the anime made by Gainax takes place in a single timeline. Nadia and the Secret of the Blue Water < EOTV < EOE < FLCL < Kill La Kill < Gurren Lagann < Space Patrol Luluco

There is likely a kinky h-doujin with Adam and Lilith

There's likely a horrifying h-doujin involving Fuyutsuki, Keel and the unnamed Teacher

The reason why we never see Rei and Kaworu extremely pissed is that they turn into a stalker-ish naked woman with 12 wings and a deranged off 8 foot tall unarmored EVA unit in a white toga if they do

Shinji and Gendo are self-deprecating self-inserts of Anno (think about it, an increasingly frustrated man dealing with an increasingly hectic company who nearly falls apart in the end, and a creepy old man sporting orange glasses and a wild chinstrap beard)

[Fyrstorm]

I have more! (Almost) all of these are Rebuild (3.0 and timeskip mainly), due to how little we know of it/how easy it is for me to fill up the fourteen years with fun. Some of these are serious, some are joking, some are very joking, and some are a little of both.

[---]

>>Serious:

As the years after N3I go past, Mari tends to lose track of the days. The ruined biosphere, the lack of aging, and the fact that everything looks roughly the same makes time-keeping difficult for her. Mari’s ended up just using an electronic calendar to keep track of important days for her (holidays, Princess's birthday, Sakura's birthday, etc.).

Mari talks to Units 08 and 02 whenever she's alone with them. Asuka's noticed her doing it on camera multiple times, but doesn't mention it to the rest of the crew.

Mari has offered to let Asuka borrow her relatively intact suits, due to the busted up state of the 02 plugsuit. Asuka always refuses, citing Mari's curious take on personal hygiene (LCL much?), and other 'habits'.

RS Hoppers run off an improved version of the Dummy System, albeit utilizing artificial Cores that can generate AT Fields of their own without another soul.

Unlike seemingly every other pilot, Mari loves her (actually pretty nice) father. She's tried multiple times to convince Asuka that he really is the best, and that she could totally see it for herself if she became his daughter in law (*nudge nudge wink wink*).

>>Joking/Semi-Serious:

The Mark.09 was completely sentient, due to its full-core body making it impossible to lobotomize. Unfortunately for Fuyutstuki, the Mark.09 was both too large to play shogi, nor did it like the game.

Kaworu also never managed to figure out shogi. However, he has remained the undisputed strip poker champion at Neo-Nerv for fourteen years (albeit because neither Gendo nor Fuyutsuki will play with him, and the Ayanami-Types only ever wear one layer).

Gendo decided that Mark.09 should have a scythe. Fuyutstuki tried to talk him out of it, saying that nobody fights with a goddamn farming implement, but Gendo had none of it, and made a long speech involving tarot cards and metaphors for soul-reaping. Fuyutsuki gave up halfway through and let Gendo make his stupid scythe. A few days later, Kaworu asked him why he'd decided on such a poor weapon choice. Gendo promptly replied, "Because it'll make you seem more attractive to Shinji." Kaworu paused, left, and spent half an hour contemplating this in the eva cages.

The Eva-13 plugsuits are just spares of Kaworu's old Mark.06 suits, just with a fresh coat of paint and some new numbering stenciled on them.

Asuka always keeps a claymore in her cabin, in case of emergencies. Nobody but her and Misato (and possibly Mari) are sure if she's referring to the sword... or the explosive. Nobody is 100% sure which one would be scarier to find a pissed-off Asuka wielding either.

The Beast (Manga!Unit-01-- not Yui, the Eva itself) is very faithful to their mistress (that'd be Yui), but is incredibly awkward in social situations, and really shouldn't be sent to do Yui's errands without adult supervision. The poor hermaphrodite wasn't trying to scare you, Shinji-- they just wanted to give you a hug from your mom!

When Shiro Tokita made the Jet Alone, he thought it was super fucking awesome. He even planned out a TV show for it and everything. Much to his dismay, he couldn't get Toho to let him use Godzilla as Jet Alone's bumbling, recurrent sidekick-- a role Tokita eventually filled with the T-RAIDEN-T. Sadly, after finally getting on the air five years after Third Impact, Resurgent Generation Jet Alone lasted for only one season of thirteen episodes.

[Cosmo11]

I like your Mari theories.

Gendo decided that Mark.09 should have a scythe. Fuyutstuki tried to talk him out of it, saying that nobody fights with a goddamn farming implement, but Gendo had none of it, and made a long speech involving tarot cards and metaphors for soul-reaping. Fuyutsuki gave up halfway through and let Gendo make his stupid scythe. A few days later, Kaworu asked him why he'd decided on such a poor weapon choice. Gendo promptly replied, "Because it'll make you seem more attractive to Shinji." Kaworu paused, left, and spent half an hour contemplating this in the eva cages.

Alternatively, Gendo is secretly a RWBY fan and while Fuyutsuki allowed the scythe, he drew the line at making it a gun.

Here's a few of mine:
- Gendo doesn't know about Fuyutsuki's photo of Yui.
- The seal blocking terminal dogma in 3.33 is the equivalent of what happened in episode 24.
- The Wunder is one of the missing Evas.
- Kaworu could have stopped the Zeruel fight at anytime but was ordered to wait by Seele until either Nerv's Evas were destroyed or if it got down far enough.
- Wille did not recover Unit 01 to bring Shinji back. They genuinely believed he could not be brought back.

[BC Baron]

Turns out Shinji was actually adopted. It was impossible for Gendo to have been Shinji's biological parent as all Rokubungi males share a genetic defect causing them to be born without testicles.

[Lavinius]

Turns out Shinji was actually adopted. It was impossible for Gendo to have been Shinji's biological parent as all Rokubungi males share a genetic defect causing them to be born without testicles.

~Gendou is a singing eunuch!~

*Duel of Seeds did occur, and Adam's 槍 betrayed when it seemed he would be victorious.
*Only the two Fruits unified can procreate and birth new souls. Yui will be the Parent of Many Planets.

[Reichu]

all Rokubungi males share a genetic defect causing them to be born without testicles.

Your explanation for Gendo's fully developed male secondary sexual characteristics must be an interesting one.

RS Hoppers run off an improved version of the Dummy System, albeit utilizing artificial Cores that can generate AT Fields of their own without another soul.

The way the scene plays out seems to imply that they're controlled by Shinji's thoughts. They might be a shout-out to funnels from Gundam, which are remote drones controlled by a pilot's mind. The ATF situation could possibly be explained by virtue of the hoppers being an offshoot or derivative of the Mk. 4s.

[Fyrstorm]

The way the scene plays out seems to imply that they're controlled by Shinji's thoughts. They might be a shout-out to funnels from Gundam, which are remote drones controlled by a pilot's mind. The ATF situation could possibly be explained by virtue of the hoppers being an offshoot or derivative of the Mk. 4s.

And the DPs aren't completely autonomous-- they need direction. Ideally, they'd be linked to 13's synchronization/control systems, rather than any other transmitters. The Dummy portion would just carry out the neural commands.

[Retro Chocolate]

There is a Giant Invisible Boar behind Shinji and Asuka during the last scene of End of Evangelion. You can't prove that it wasn't there.

[cuteperi]

-Kensuke owns a body pillow of Unit 01.
-Rei has two pet rats named Beryllium and Formaldehyde.
-Shinji is amazing at badminton, a trait he inherited from his father. He secretly wishes that they could play together.
-Toji wants to take Shinji to the bone zone, if ya know what I mean...
-Misato's favorite TV show is "Forensic Files." It's how she bonds with Shinji and Asuka.
-Asuka's favorite band is Ninja Sex Party, but she wouldn't be caught dead listening to them around Misato and Shinji because she thinks of herself as a mature adult who DOESN'T laugh at dick jokes.
-Gendo won't play badminton with Shinji because he has a nasty cocaine addiction and can't function without it.
-Yui got him hooked on it.

[Squigsquasher]

End of Evangelion was a movie made by NERV to finance the reconstruction of Tokyo-3 (Tokyo-4?). Shinji was actually Doomguy levels of INCANDESCENT WITH RAGE through the whole thing and had to be sedated for more or less every scene, which explains why he's so mopey. The scene where he strangles Asuka in the kitchen was the result of the sedative wearing off- A stray "RIP AND TEAR" had to be edited out in post-production. Everyone involved in the production hates it (except Gendo) and wants to forget it even existed. The REAL ending to the series is After the End.

There is a hidden Mari in every episode of Evangelion. Finding them all and mailing proof to Anno will win you the sole VHS copy of the alternate ending of End of Evangelion.

The Horakis have a pet armadillo named Peggy. She is never seen in the series.

There never was a Unit 04. The "dirac sea incident" was just a cover for the fact that NERV Nevada was too lazy to build Unit 04, so they hacked into the records, erased all knowledge of them having even existed and photoshopped a big black circle onto the map. They are still laughing about it to this day.

The Evangelions' armour is neither armour nor restraints. They're enormous onesies that the Evas refuse to take off because "they're comfy". They were originally going to be clad in boxy armour with urban camo patterns.

Rei dies every single episode and is swiftly respawned in the next off-camera (without anyone noticing). The only reason she temporarily lost her memories in Episode 23 was a minor technical glitch with the dummy plug plant. Rei 3 is actually Rei 38 (there were more than a few failed clones- one of them would not stop repeating "My name is Legion, for we are many" and one cloning process accidentally spawned an Asuka).

It is possible to grow your own Rei clone with a packet of sea monkeys, tang and a gramophone playing Beethoven. It has to be a gramophone or else you'll just grow sea monkeys with blue hair.

Mana is actually Satan. The original version of Girlfriend of Steel was a Doom clone- the cutesy visual novel we got was a cover story for the nightmarish events that actually transpired.

[Fyrstorm]

There never was a Unit 04. The "dirac sea incident" was just a cover for the fact that NERV Nevada was too lazy to build Unit 04, so they hacked into the records, erased all knowledge of them having even existed and photoshopped a big black circle onto the map. They are still laughing about it to this day.

This is one of the funniest damn things I've seen so far. I love it.