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Postby C.A.P. » Sat Aug 13, 2011 4:38 pm

^First their Technical Official say story isn't important for tentpole features, now this?

What's going on? Is Walt Disney haunting his own studio again or something?
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Postby THE Hal E. Burton 9000 » Sat Aug 13, 2011 5:11 pm

^perhaps the Disney board had a séance recently with Walt himself? [/sarcasm]

anyway, I find it funny, the use of the phrase "tentpole", perhaps this phrasing and framing will make it easy enough for people to confidently counter the bigger problem of robot scrotums and deep wang of Hollywood forcedly sodomizing the celluloid art medium with some things worth our time and box office tickets
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Postby BrikHaus » Sat Aug 13, 2011 8:18 pm

View Original PostTHE Hal E. Burton 9000 wrote:anyway, I find it funny, the use of the phrase "tentpole", perhaps this phrasing and framing will make it easy enough for people to confidently counter the bigger problem of robot scrotums and deep wang of Hollywood forcedly sodomizing the celluloid art medium with some things worth our time and box office tickets

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Postby Bomby von Bombsville » Sat Aug 13, 2011 9:05 pm

All your favorite directors hate each other.

Sadly, this lacks any of Nagisa Oshima's amazingly caustic criticisms of other Japanese filmmakers.
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Postby ZapX » Sat Aug 13, 2011 10:41 pm

Ha, I feel the same way about Antonioni.
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Postby THE Hal E. Burton 9000 » Sat Aug 13, 2011 11:15 pm

^I remember the Floyd talking about their problems working with Antonioni (Waters' impression of him is quite funny here)

Cronenberg's terse words for Shamalamadingong was my favorite

and though I cannot stand him, Smith was right to snipe at Anderson for his self-importance (and he would certainly know about that)

Boll's quip about Bay was amusing, btw, again, considering the source
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Postby Xard » Sun Aug 14, 2011 4:55 am

View Original PostBomby von Bombsville wrote:All your favorite directors hate each other.

Sadly, this lacks any of Nagisa Oshima's amazingly caustic criticisms of other Japanese filmmakers.


the author list is even funnier and stunning

6. W. H. Auden on Robert Browning

“I don’t think Robert Browning was very good in bed. His wife probably didn’t care for him very much. He snored and had fantasies about twelve-year-old girls.”


oh wow

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Postby FreakyFilmFan4ever » Sun Aug 14, 2011 9:07 pm


Well, of course they do. Filmmakers have the worse track record for appreciating the success of someone they don't agree with.

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Postby McDirty » Tue Aug 16, 2011 5:51 pm

Filmmaker's heroes are themselves.

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Postby THE Hal E. Burton 9000 » Wed Aug 17, 2011 2:41 pm

oh man, a sick part of me kind of wishes that The Lone Ranger movie happened now

the script srsly sounded like something from The Asylum

part of me is sad, however, that "a straight-up western" is now seen in such a low light by the Hollywood elite like Bruckheimer

it also makes me annoyed that Dances with Wolves is still held in such high regard, I mean it really was not that good, because if it was, then what the hell has Kevin Costner been doing for 20 years now with crap like Waterworld and the like?
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Postby Tarnsman » Wed Aug 17, 2011 2:54 pm

View Original PostTHE Hal E. Burton 9000 wrote:it also makes me annoyed that Dances with Wolves is still held in such high regard, I mean it really was not that good, because if it was, then what the hell has Kevin Costner been doing for 20 years now with crap like Waterworld and the like?

Getting a paycheck?
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Postby Merridian » Wed Aug 17, 2011 2:58 pm

Hal wrote:part of me is sad, however, that "a straight-up western" is now seen in such a low light by the Hollywood elite like Bruckheimer
Bruckheimer only likes things that are flashy, hip, cool, and edgy. Westerns are hot, barren, desolate, and gritty.

And I could understand why Dances With Wolves has ever been held in high regard to begin with. The only thing the movie has going for it is the landscapes. Everything else about it is horrible and/or boring, from Costner's overacting to the laughable script & story to its pointlessly long run time. But I've never thought Costner's work was worth much, anyway.

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Postby Trajan » Wed Aug 17, 2011 6:45 pm

It's no Unforgiven, but I always liked Dances with Wolves. It's no masterpiece or anything but it is a decent film IMO.
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Postby backseatjesus » Fri Aug 19, 2011 2:08 pm

http://dugpa.com/2011/01/22/lynch-finds-blue-velvet-deleted-scenes-for-upcoming-blue-velvet-blu-ray/
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Postby BornIn1142 » Fri Aug 19, 2011 3:40 pm

Trailer for Hysteria.

Yes. Yes. This is the historical comedy film I've been waiting for!

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“Which, to me, explains fucking Batman.”


See, the irony here is that the Kevin Smith's comic book work with Batman has been more horrible to the character than Burton's film ever could.
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Postby Mr. Tines » Sat Aug 27, 2011 12:07 pm

The programme for this year's Cambridge Film Festival is out -- http://www.cambridgefilmfestival.org.uk/news/2011/08/27/cff2011-programme-online/ -- and even more than last year, I'm feeling underwhelmed by the torrent of right-on, gritty and edgy features -- and any film whose summary boils down to "two characters meet and then they fuck (and because of that, shit happens)" gets a resounding "WHY?" from me. Oh, and they're showing the totally abysmal Silent Running. Twice.

I suppose I could go watch The Seventh Seal and The Day the Earth Caught Fire again. If I were another of the cineastes on this forum, I'd go see Sono Sion's Guilty of Romance.
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Postby backseatjesus » Sun Sep 11, 2011 5:16 pm

Prepare your anuses
http://www.blu-ray.com/movies/Citizen-Kane-Blu-ray/7744/

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Postby THE Hal E. Burton 9000 » Tue Sep 20, 2011 8:52 pm

- TEH Fabulous Hal E. Burton 9000

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Postby Bomby von Bombsville » Thu Sep 29, 2011 5:50 pm

Alright everyone! Pull out your Bourgeoismeter! It's time to play the Bourgeoisploitation game! This week's contestant:

Steven Spielberg's War Horse
YouTube Trailer

Let's open the categories as defined here. Due to the fact that the film has not opened yet, we obviously cannot ascertain the answers to all of these questions, but

1. It is a historical drama. Extra points if it is a biopic or an adaptation of Shakespeare. Even more extra points if its a biopic about Shakespeare.
Most definitely a historical drama. Doesn't appear to be based on a true story, but the plot of a young man searching for his beloved horse sounds like a coming of age plot. It's based on a stage play, however, which itself is based on a children's novel. This should earn it the second point. +2

2. People speak in Received Pronunciation (commonly called "the Queen's English"). Extra points if the movie does not take place in Britain. Even more extra points if the actors are not actually British.
The only bit of dialog is in Scottish accent. While I suspect there will be some RP in the film, I can't say for sure. The cast is predominantly British, too, and playing British characters. I can't award any points... yet.

3. It has a sad and/or bittersweet ending. Extra points if it is supposed to teach you a lesson of hope.
The plot is about perseverance, which is a side-effect of hope. Tentatively giving the film a point for this. +1

4. It was ostensibly made for the sole purpose of winning an Oscar for its aging lead star. Extra points if it will be his or her first Oscar.
Ultimately, it looks to be spearheaded by Spielberg more than anything, though star Peter Mullan could be placing himself in an Oscar-bait role. No points for now.

5. It has a solemn musical score that consists of either all piano or all stringed instruments.
Yes. Also, it's by John Williams. +1

6. The creators, stars, and audience are overwhelmingly white and upper-middle class.
It gets no whiter than this. +1

7. It has a horse in it. Extra points if the horse dies.
Oh boy, does it ever. Not sure if the horse dies, but I'm assigning an extra point since the horse is the focus of the film. Truly, this should be a five-point category. When was the last time you saw a movie about a horse that wasn't extremely bourgeois? +2

8. It is over two-and-a-half hours long.
The official run time has not been released yet. Next.

9. It opens to rave reviews and is promptly forgotten a year later.
Again, this is all tentative. Unless this movie is an indisputable masterpiece, I don't see it lasting long in collective cultural memory, but this category is still N/A.

7 points. Since two of the nine categories are N/A, this lands the film a tentative 7/7, denoting that it will likely be as bourgeois as a Yachting Club of Yale graduates. Once the film is released and the dust settles, we'll see if it meets (or even exceeds) the 9 point goal.

War Horse opens in US theaters December 28, and due to the clout of the director will more-than-likely be at a theater within 20 yards of your home.
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Postby Merridian » Thu Sep 29, 2011 9:09 pm

View Original PostBomby von Bombsville wrote:Steven Spielberg's War Horse
YouTube Trailer
WOW that looks comical. WORLD WAR ONE, THE STORY OF A LOST HORSE

What's up with it charging down trenches profiled by artillery explosions? I'd expect this sort of melodrama from Robot Chicken or SNL, not Spielberg.

actually

fuck it.

Maybe if it does well enough, we'll get War Horse 2: Air Horse - Return of the Son of War Horse, in which its offspring saves the lives of a downed bomber crew in WWII and flies a Lancaster Bomber.


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