Relationships in High School: My Thoughts

[Joseph the PRPD]

So today after Rowing Practice/packing up the boathouse me and some of my team mates were having conversation. Later in the conversation a team mate asks me:

Crew mate: Would you go out with [so and so]?

Me: No.

Crew mate: How about [so and so]?

Me: No. Actually I wouldn't really go out with anyone.

Crew Mate #2: Why?

Me: Well... I just don't see the point in having relationships during High School.

All of a sudden everyone stops and looks at me as if I am the fricken Anti-Christ! Well that is a tad over exaggerated. But they did have a "WTF?" kind of reaction as soon as I said those words.

Crew Mate #3: What? Why?

Crew Mate #4: Na. He jus' sayin' that cuz he can't get none.

Me: Not really. I have been asked out before but I've just said no.

Crew Mate #2: Why though?

Me: Like I said, I don't see the point be-

And before I could finish stating why another one of my crew mates did something grabbed the attention of everyone else and the topic just changed. But I do feel like getting my thoughts out of my system so here is why I don't see the point.
====
I don't see the point in having a relationship during High School. Why? Because they don't last long. Sure there are a few HS relationships that do make there way to marriage somehow but the odds are very low. Although this isn't the only reason. They could also distract you from other things like school work, homework, and maybe some other things. Trying to be in a relationship with certain people can also tempt others to do pretty regretful things. Sure they can serve as some sort of "practice" for the future, so in that sense it might be one reason how a relationship during High School be good. But some students would just go out for the sake of going out for building some sort of rep. Also a lot of relationships during this time may seem like excuses for horny little teenagers to just screw around and may not consider certain consequences. Oh and if someone were to break up with the person they went out with the person who received the breaking up message(mostly the females in this case) the water works just turn on. The only thing that comes to mind when I see things like that are "You didn't see this coming?". Also that most teenagers only have sex on there mind and use the BF/GF thing as an excuse(as previously stated).

I do have some other reasons but I have momentarily forgot what they were exactly....

To me it just seems like to much effort for something may not last long. Maybe I am just thinking like this because of all the PDA* that is seen in the hallway of school and some of the other consequences** I've witnessed in my school. Can it be said that it's somehow easier to maintain a relationship in college.?

Maybe some of my reasoning seems stupid and possibly I'm thinking about this subject to much. Or it could be the idea of having a relationship during this time seems to annoy me or possibly I think this way because I can't see my self be in one. *shrugs*

What are your opinions about High School relationships or relationships during schooling(middle school through High School) in general? Or am I the only one who thinks this way about High School Relationships (I wouldn't be surprised if that were the case...)?

*Public Displays of Affection-Kissing, holding hands, etc.

**Pregnancy, STD's, etc. (also my school has a whole nursery full of babies and toddlers who came out of young teenage mothers).

[THE Hal E. Burton 9000]

unless you have an unusual degree of intellect and can find someone on equal footing in that department, I wouldn't try so hard to pursue a relationship with any seriousness, nor should you let peer pressure make you feel you should

people really shouldn't have a romantic relationship until there a little grounded, though if you want one at some point, don't do what some did in Idiocracy

now if you just want to fcuk like a rabbit with every member of the opposite (or same, or both) sex walks across your path, that's different, though srsly use protection, get tested and have her take the pill or something if you can't keep your pants zipped

and good GOD dude, a NURSERY in your high school??

[Joseph the PRPD]

and good GOD dude, a NURSERY in your high school??

I was shocked when I first walked by it. Recently I learned there is about 27 or more kids registered in that nursery. Hell someone I know(not personally) gave birth to TWINS about a week and a half ago. I hate where I live... >_>

[NemZ]

That's an impressive display of rationalization.

[IrkenEvangelion]

I do agree with you. Relationships for most people is a stupid idea. Both because they don't last long and there's no point. But in my case, I've been dating my girlfriend for just under a year now and I'm not looking for anyone else and I am prepared to spend the rest of my life with her. But that's just my case. I am a senior btw, I should be a junior but I started being homeschooled at the beginning of last year. Yay!

[drinian]

That's probably a good attitude to have, but don't let it stop you forming emotional attachments to others along the way to adulthood. Just be prepared to let them go away or change as you move into your next life; it'll come sooner than you think.

[The Bastard King]

There's nothing wrong with making out with chicks in high school. What, can't you rise to the occasion?

[NemZ]

You're killing me. All of you, absolutely killing me. It's like none of you even watched NGE at all.

Dude, just because a relationship isn't guaranteed to end in marriage you should avoid it? Half of all marriages end in divorce anyway, so are they not worth it either? The only guarantee in life is that if you don't don't play the game you can't possibly win.

Yes, some people act irresponsibly in relationships and create lifelong consequences for themselves. Does that mean you have to? Of course not. Control yourself, be safe, but have a good time... and that doesn't have to mean sex at all. If a relationship is worth having it should be because you enjoy spending time with the other person regardless of the activities engaged in.

[Joseph the PRPD]

^
I am aware of this.

[Baz]

That's an impressive display of rationalization.

This. Why waste a bunch of time thinking up reasons?

Why? Because they don't last long.

Your first relationship is guaranteed to be short but, at the same time, it can still be fun and meaningful. More to the point, what if you go to college and meet someone that you are compatible with, but screw it up due to lack of experience?

They could also distract you from other things like school work, homework, and maybe some other things.

Usually it's the opposite. A relationship, just like a friendship, distracts you from stupid stuff (e.g. like thinking about the stuff in your post) and helps you focus on real life stuff (like schoolwork).

Also a lot of relationships during this time may seem like excuses for horny little teenagers to just screw around and may not consider certain consequences.

Yeah, but this doesn't apply to you, right? So why mention it?

Oh and if someone were to break up with the person they went out with the person who received the breaking up message (mostly the females in this case) the water works just turn on.

Best to have a go at this for the first time while you're still young, because in a more serious "adult" relationship you can really, really screw things up with a poorly executed breakup. I'm speaking from experience here.

I guess what I'm saying is, if you have an opportunity, don't rationalize it away.

[NemZ]

Good, then you're aware your arguments are pointless and silly.

[Joseph the PRPD]

Maybe.

[schismatics]

I do agree with you. Relationships for most people is a stupid idea. Both because they don't last long and there's no point.

You should've stopped there.

When I was in high school I had some relationships and they all pretty much ended badly. However I am glad that I had them because all of them reinforced who I am and what I believe in. Now that I'm college I honestly don't give a shit about maintaining a steady relationship and I find more enjoyment out of hanging out with my friends from time to time.

My point being, you have to exist around others to learn about yourself (thank you Evangelion!!!!!) and one way of learning about yourself is by having a girlfriend/boyfriend type relationship with somebody. Even if it all ends in tears, you'll atleast learn something about yourself.

[Baz]

If you want to wait for college, there's nothing wrong with that, but your stated reasons are kind of lame. Just sayin' ;)
Also, if you're turned off by PDA's then you can always pursue a secret relationship. It's the usual way for lots of people.

[Mr. Tines]

My considered opinion is that being in a mixed environment during adolescence and early adulthood allows you the chance to practice your courtship skills and make your mistakes amongst peers who are doing the same.

Admittedly, during my highschool days (all boys), I tacitly assumed all that sort of thing was for grown-ups. I was quite shocked at uni to see couples kissing -- I remember thinking "Oh, yeah, I guess we do count as grown ups, now."

[PuppetChaos]

This is just my opinion and personal experience speaking, I went to a Mennonite school (but not of the hair-covering supaoldschool variety), so my experience is probably vastly different than other people's.

I'd personally advise against high school relationships; but my best friend then was the guy who literally went through a girlfriend a week... and then moved on to boyfriends when he ran out of willing females. And the rest of my little clique (we were the freaks, I guess) had plenty of relationship drama.

I even had a betting pool on how long certain relationships would last... nobody participated, though.

Looking back on it now, I don't think it's impossible to have a good BF/GF-type relationship in high school... but let's face it, it's high school; where everything is high drama and people don't seem to have enough life experience to do these things right. And I've only seen one relationship that lasted past graduation... and now they're married slacker potheads with a kid on the way. Uhhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmm.......

Plus, there's the whole raging hormones thing... and not completely understanding what you yourself feel. I don't really know what love is or feels like, and I'm a "super senior" in college!

tl;dr - High school's enough superficial drama, hormones and lulzness without having to deal with a girlfriend or boyfriend's superficial drama, hormones and lulzness.

EDIT: I forgot to say that I don't think dating in high school is bad ... I'm just saying a super-committed "LOVERS4EVA" relationship will probably not work.

[BEsERk EVA01]

There are these two people (male/female) in my class that have been "together" for almost 3 years, from the start of Year 7 to Year 9. I think it's a pretty restricted relationship though, the guy is a Muslim and his parents are incredibly strict and definitely will not approve of them being together, because he's not supposed to at HS. There was a short time during Term 2 holidays that they felt kinda "weak" for each other, I mean, the guy didn't feel much for her. The girl felt worried about what was going on (the guy didn't see her very often, or talked to her at HS/MSN much) so I had to become some sort of "mediator". I can tell you, it really sucks. Then all of a sudden, they forgot about it and they're back together. They've got a really strong relationship though, and their only obstacle now would be their parents, especially the guy's Islam parents. I'm guessing it will be successful, it's inter-racial for fuck's sake.

On the other hand though, I really don't see a point in getting a "girlfriend" at HS. One, I'm not ready, two, my parents, three, all (actually, 35% of them) the girls there are whores and complete idiots and four, I'd have a bit of trouble getting one. Hehe, in HS, almost everyone's in their "prime" so I'm technically not that sort of person. Sometimes. But mostly not my type.

It's very difficult IMO, though I happen to think that most relationships around my school are based on satisfying the males' sexual desires. Not worth it in the long run. I've had my experiences. Hehe, hasn't turned out too good, either.

[oOoOoOo]

OMGOMG (as in "ohmygodohmygod" in a high-pitched squeal of a voice)

Seriously, very cute first post, thread-starter. You remind me of an ex, with the use of reason and logic to figure out something nobody ever really figures out, haha. But if we don't think about it we'll go insane, so no harm in wondering. So far, plenty of good points raised, but I'll throw in my two cents. Grab some milk and cookies.

Having dated numerous people of every gender and sex, when I was in elementary school, high school, university, and beyond, I'll tell you what little I've figured out.

High school doesn't mean anything. Of course, my hairdresser's parents were high school sweethearts, but they're totally bizarre and quirky, so we're not going to count them in this survey of love~ The emotions and hormones are all churning in high school, but as has been mentioned, the brain isn't quite ready. It isn't so much that I regret my high school romances (despite some embarrassing adventures), but they just seem silly and inane compared to the deeper, more interesting, solid relationships I had in university and beyond. My "T&A" definitely developed before my brain did, much like a boy's equipment comes to attention before his brain does, if you catch my drift.

Now, as a boy you probably have more silly bullshit to deal with than I had to as a girl. Male virginity (or innocence, or what-have-you) has this aura of... "what's wrong with you" attached to it. I'm talking about the perception of virginity or sexual disinterest, whether or that that is the actual case. Putting your dick into a vagina, like thrusting a sword into an enemy, or dunking your slam, or burning rubber out of the driveway, or hitting it out of the park... etc... etc... are all part of the same part of the male brain, known scientifically as Cockcockcockpenisophalamdyia. I'm sure you've all read about that in grade eleven biology. It's cute for a few minutes in the bedroom, then it isn't cute. I wouldn't worry about that attitude too much. People use it to fill a hole in their soul that cannot be filled.

I mostly focused on clubs and art in high school, and just went with the flow. I had a tumble in the dark here and there, but I didn't kill myself trying desperate to find someone to hold me. It is just so messy.

If you're searching for a response in this thread beyond "YOU MADE THE RIGHT CHOICE, DUDE!" I'll say you might want to give dating a "try" next time the opportunity comes up. You don't have to "do" anything, but like Mister Tines noted, it is all good practice for when you're actually ready.

But really, when it works, love is the besssst~ And when it does work, it was a surprise, not a master plan. No worries!

[BrikHaus]

High school relationships are generally worthless. Don't worry about them. You'll meet someone better/more mature/cooler/more compatible when you get to college, or perhaps sometime thereafter.

[drinian]

Admittedly, during my highschool days (all boys), I tacitly assumed all that sort of thing was for grown-ups. I was quite shocked at uni to see couples kissing -- I remember thinking "Oh, yeah, I guess we do count as grown ups, now."

OT: I was also a product of single-sex education and had sort of the same experience. From an educator's standpoint, it seems like all-boys' schools work well to reduce distractions; not as sure that the same is constantly true for all-girls, but the calculus classes I took across the street at our sister school demonstrated that girls definitely do enjoy math in the right environment.