EGF's House of Lonely Hearts
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- the_seventh_child
- radio gaga
- Age: 33
- Posts: 2238
- Joined: Jul 14, 2004
- Gender: Female
Honestly it's just so typical what happens with "love"- you're either on the side of those that hurt others, or on the side of those that are being hurt from the others. I've been on both receiving ends and I decided to stay single for a long time and that long time still stands as of today and will keep on standing. Yes, some days are tough and some nights are even tougher but that is the price you pay for figuring out what your heart really wants and seeing things from a different perspective; getting to know yourself more and how it is to depend and handle "you".
For the last couple years, the only guy I truly felt attracted to, was a random guy from the campus- we had to take an exam together, were both complete strangers but we hit it off and wouldn't stop talking about all sorts of stuff and our common interests were surprisingly very high. In the end, I had to get off on a different bus stop and that was it. Had it been a few years before, I would have hit myself on the head about "omg, I lost the guy of my dreams!!!111"- or actually, there's no way I wouldn't have gotten his number. But, like I said, time has a way of letting you see things clearly. Why I said that lame story you ask? (or not) Because it's been exactly a year since I last saw the guy and it just crossed my mind.
For the last couple years, the only guy I truly felt attracted to, was a random guy from the campus- we had to take an exam together, were both complete strangers but we hit it off and wouldn't stop talking about all sorts of stuff and our common interests were surprisingly very high. In the end, I had to get off on a different bus stop and that was it. Had it been a few years before, I would have hit myself on the head about "omg, I lost the guy of my dreams!!!111"- or actually, there's no way I wouldn't have gotten his number. But, like I said, time has a way of letting you see things clearly. Why I said that lame story you ask? (or not) Because it's been exactly a year since I last saw the guy and it just crossed my mind.
Anime and manga unite us all. Much better than the Olympics. - Carl Horn |11.30.2004.
"As of this moment, we are changing from soldiers to pirates!" - Captain Jeffrey Wilder (Macross Frontier #22)
"As of this moment, we are changing from soldiers to pirates!" - Captain Jeffrey Wilder (Macross Frontier #22)
Well, I seem to have acquired a girlfriend, someone who works at my company but in a different department. She'd been expressing active interest since February, but it took me all the way until a few weeks ago to give up on another girl I had a longstanding crush on (despite there being next to no chemistry between us) and take the obvious route. I feel a little guilty and rather stupid since this girl is really easy to talk to, thoughtful, attractive, and feminine. She's been giving me tons of hints from pretty much day one that she wants something long-term—she asks me about my family a lot, mentioned kids multiple times, "accidentally" had me run into her dad, makes me food, the works. I don't feel awkward or stilted around her at all and more importantly she seems to be genuinely happy to hang out.
She's from northwestern China and being around her is improving my ABC-level Mandarin rapidly. Unlike most Chinese people I know she isn't hell-bent on making money and instead likes doing things like playing musical instruments and reading classics (yeah I know most Chinese people have normal interests too but the endless barrage of "Y U NO BECOME DOCTOR" tends to get in the way).
The concern I have now is that my bad habits (mostly laziness and misplaced verbosity) are going to strangle whatever initial impression she had about me. I fear personal stagnation, since being with her gives me unwarranted emotional validation that isn't based in real accomplishment. It's really easy to waste time with women (and video games, and on forums...). Basically, my shortcomings are now in even greater need of elimination.
There's another thing that is easy to discount—the cold, hard truth that the number of potential partners is huge, but that most of them will be denied you due to wholly impersonal circumstances.
She's from northwestern China and being around her is improving my ABC-level Mandarin rapidly. Unlike most Chinese people I know she isn't hell-bent on making money and instead likes doing things like playing musical instruments and reading classics (yeah I know most Chinese people have normal interests too but the endless barrage of "Y U NO BECOME DOCTOR" tends to get in the way).
The concern I have now is that my bad habits (mostly laziness and misplaced verbosity) are going to strangle whatever initial impression she had about me. I fear personal stagnation, since being with her gives me unwarranted emotional validation that isn't based in real accomplishment. It's really easy to waste time with women (and video games, and on forums...). Basically, my shortcomings are now in even greater need of elimination.
For the last couple years, the only guy I truly felt attracted to, was a random guy from the campus- we had to take an exam together, were both complete strangers but we hit it off and wouldn't stop talking about all sorts of stuff and our common interests were surprisingly very high. In the end, I had to get off on a different bus stop and that was it. Had it been a few years before, I would have hit myself on the head about "omg, I lost the guy of my dreams!!!111"- or actually, there's no way I wouldn't have gotten his number. But, like I said, time has a way of letting you see things clearly. Why I said that lame story you ask? (or not) Because it's been exactly a year since I last saw the guy and it just crossed my mind.
There's another thing that is easy to discount—the cold, hard truth that the number of potential partners is huge, but that most of them will be denied you due to wholly impersonal circumstances.
So i logged back on EGF after a week dealing with the barrage of new content when out of the blue, skype told me a person i thought i'd never see again (on skype) was online. This person was very precious to me and i wasn't sure of how to respond or if i even should. After a few minutes of getting my world surprised i test the waters with a simple greeting... and she left almost inmediately. I left a written apology saying i apparently misinterpreted things and that i'll try not to bother her, as well as hoping this small incident didn't affect her skype experience. No reply to that either.
I'll admit to feeling a bit miffed about all that... is it justified? I mean, even if it was just a technical error... I know she's very shy and that she has a vastly different worldview, but i don't think writing a few sentences clearing things up would have killed her, you know? I certainly would have if the situations were reversed no matter how anxious i felt... Or she just didn't think it was necessary/didn't want to bother? Whenever skype tells me she's online now, i'm left wondering just what, if any, the meaning of that was.
I'll admit to feeling a bit miffed about all that... is it justified? I mean, even if it was just a technical error... I know she's very shy and that she has a vastly different worldview, but i don't think writing a few sentences clearing things up would have killed her, you know? I certainly would have if the situations were reversed no matter how anxious i felt... Or she just didn't think it was necessary/didn't want to bother? Whenever skype tells me she's online now, i'm left wondering just what, if any, the meaning of that was.
"Every line is a joy" -Kaworu Nagisa.
"Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm." - Ralph Waldo Emerson.
"Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm." - Ralph Waldo Emerson.
It's just a simple greeting. You shouldn't be worried about someone's Skype experience, and there is nothing to apologize for. After all, if someone is online and their status says they are online, then common sense dictates that it is okay for others to send messages to that person. Going on what you said, it doesn't look like you were pestering this girl, so don't worry about it. I'd disagree that apologizing makes you seem clingy, but it does make you seem overanxious, and she would likely be confused and think "what is this dude apologizing for?". If you want to get her to talk, try taking it easy and just letting her know that you're there, but don't push it. Let her know you're willing to talk, and wait until she feels like it. Something like "hi, it's been a while, so perhaps we could talk when you're not busy" could get you a long way.
Sapientiam autem non vincit malitia.
- Compiling_Autumn
- Ramiel
- Age: 34
- Posts: 333
- Joined: Jun 15, 2014
- Location: Virginia
- Gender: Male
the new social trend is to ignore people and hope that they get the hint. The internet has made it so that some have the luxury of being spineless. Your only option is to move on.
"The will to lose one's will?"
"Absolutely. The will to make oneself completely free. Will is the wrong word, because in the end you could call it despair. Because it really comes out of an absolute feeling of it's impossible to do these things, so I might as well just do anything. And out of this anything, one sees what happens."--Francis Bacon
"Absolutely. The will to make oneself completely free. Will is the wrong word, because in the end you could call it despair. Because it really comes out of an absolute feeling of it's impossible to do these things, so I might as well just do anything. And out of this anything, one sees what happens."--Francis Bacon
- Rosenakahara
- Evangelion
- Age: 26
- Posts: 3319
- Joined: May 20, 2014
- Gender: Female
Incredibly scared of getting in any more relationships sometimes, recently i have just had this gnawing fear that even if i do get a girlfriend that i seriously care about im just going to be cheated on again, either that or im going to mess up the relationship somehow but i have totally forgotten how everything works.
"She had better march back here and try again! I only send people off on my terms! ...Or in a casket."
I don't need a scabbard to sheathe my mind
What is going on is a concerted effort from anti-progressives to silence anyone who disagrees with them.-Bagheera 2016
The Twelve Kingdoms discussion thread
I don't need a scabbard to sheathe my mind
What is going on is a concerted effort from anti-progressives to silence anyone who disagrees with them.-Bagheera 2016
The Twelve Kingdoms discussion thread
- Rosenakahara
- Evangelion
- Age: 26
- Posts: 3319
- Joined: May 20, 2014
- Gender: Female
I'm like 99% sure sex is also something i have forgotten how to do.
"She had better march back here and try again! I only send people off on my terms! ...Or in a casket."
I don't need a scabbard to sheathe my mind
What is going on is a concerted effort from anti-progressives to silence anyone who disagrees with them.-Bagheera 2016
The Twelve Kingdoms discussion thread
I don't need a scabbard to sheathe my mind
What is going on is a concerted effort from anti-progressives to silence anyone who disagrees with them.-Bagheera 2016
The Twelve Kingdoms discussion thread
- Vegeta 20XX
- XX0↊ ɐʇǝƃǝɅ
- Age: 31
- Posts: 1427
- Joined: Jul 03, 2008
- Location: Hyperspace Arsenal, Universe -2
- Gender: Male
LeoXiao wrote:Yes, very much so. There's a good article on this.
So many of the comments are people complaining about how "millenials" (read: "kids these days", preferably in some sort of elderly voice) do this because of narcissism, technology, and mental disorders.
Avatar: Apophis' shifty-looking gaze as he invades the SGC.
Vegeta 20XX: Actually pixelated, and the self proclaimed "King of the screw up". - Fazmotron
The most awesome thing ever. Seriously.
I witnessed a young girl ohhh about 12 years of age or so fall off a snowbank then proceed to say "Fuck you snowhill that hurt" - Dataprime
For those who put things like "Chuckman x Chuckmen" and "Follower of the Chuckman x Chuckman pairing" in their signatures: All you need is fuck.
Vegeta 20XX: Actually pixelated, and the self proclaimed "King of the screw up". - Fazmotron
The most awesome thing ever. Seriously.
I witnessed a young girl ohhh about 12 years of age or so fall off a snowbank then proceed to say "Fuck you snowhill that hurt" - Dataprime
For those who put things like "Chuckman x Chuckmen" and "Follower of the Chuckman x Chuckman pairing" in their signatures: All you need is fuck.
- pwhodges
- A Lilin in Wonderland
- Age: 77
- Posts: 11035
- Joined: Nov 18, 2012
- Location: Oxford, UK
- Contact:
There's plenty of old-people sci-fi that includes sex-bots; it's not a novel concept for them.
"Being human, having your health; that's what's important." (from: Magical Shopping Arcade Abenobashi )
"As long as we're all living, and as long as we're all having fun, that should do it, right?" (from: The Eccentric Family )
Avatar: The end of the journey (details); Past avatars.
Before 3.0+1.0 there was Afterwards... my post-Q Evangelion fanfic (discussion)
"As long as we're all living, and as long as we're all having fun, that should do it, right?" (from: The Eccentric Family )
Avatar: The end of the journey (details); Past avatars.
Before 3.0+1.0 there was Afterwards... my post-Q Evangelion fanfic (discussion)
I don't think that fiction about androids is a good way to predict how people will actually react to them. I expect when they eventually develop (the Real Doll guy is working on making a doll that can old a conversation, even if it can't actually get up and move around) they will be socially stigmatized.
- pwhodges
- A Lilin in Wonderland
- Age: 77
- Posts: 11035
- Joined: Nov 18, 2012
- Location: Oxford, UK
- Contact:
True; but I also don't see why the reaction of old people would be more (or less) interesting than that of young people (as one of the very few present who's actually got experience of being both in turn!).
"Being human, having your health; that's what's important." (from: Magical Shopping Arcade Abenobashi )
"As long as we're all living, and as long as we're all having fun, that should do it, right?" (from: The Eccentric Family )
Avatar: The end of the journey (details); Past avatars.
Before 3.0+1.0 there was Afterwards... my post-Q Evangelion fanfic (discussion)
"As long as we're all living, and as long as we're all having fun, that should do it, right?" (from: The Eccentric Family )
Avatar: The end of the journey (details); Past avatars.
Before 3.0+1.0 there was Afterwards... my post-Q Evangelion fanfic (discussion)
- MuscleRobo
- Ramiel
- Age: 34
- Posts: 306
- Joined: May 26, 2015
- Location: Scrapyard
Re: EGF's House of Lonely Hearts
Sorry to revive a thread almost 11 months old but I asked someone and they said it was ok! Well with that out of the way let me say I got catfished. I recently had to move and it's been a little tough for me. I joined that Meetups website and have been trying to go to "geeky" events but they haven't been the most welcoming. There's a Japanese soceity but I was actually told by the person who runs it they're really only looking for people who lived in Japan for now. There's two board game groups but one is older people who weren't so welcoming and the other seemed to be pretty tightly knit my little sister and I just ended up playing board games together ourself at their meet up since they didn't have room for us in their planned game. I thought maybe I could try that anime dating website I saw packed into a con guide recently. I actually received a message fairly quickly! I chatted with the person online a bit and we even sent texts during the day eventually! He invited me to get lunch one Saturday but to my surprise when I got there he was actually a middle aged woman. The biggest surprise was they wanted to just get over it like it was a little thing and continue our friendship. I did sit and eat with her, mostly because I wanted to learn her story, but she's been texting me about when can we get together and stuff and my response has been to ghost her. Is it wrong for me to be doing this? Can I just text them "I'm sorry I feel hurt that you lied to me." I suppose the search for a friend continues.
Re: EGF's House of Lonely Hearts
"Die in a fire you lying skeever." might also be acceptable. Unless they're Jewish. Then it might be a bit much. But I'm a petty person.
Amarantos - an NGE AU, beginning with Asuka, Shinji, and a garden. Take a look. Couldn't hurt.
"Anything can be Evangelion related if you have the will to twist it." -Joseki.
"Anything can be Evangelion related if you have the will to twist it." -Joseki.
Re: EGF's House of Lonely Hearts
Just say you prefer more honesty in people you call friends.
Rest In Peace ~ 1978 - 2017
"I'd consider myself a realist, alright? but in philosophical terms I'm what's called a pessimist. It means I'm bad at parties." - Rust Cohle
"Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize that half of 'em are stupider than that." - George Carlin
"The internet: It's like a training camp for never amounting to anything." - Oglaf
"I think internet message boards and the like are dangerous." - Anno
"I'd consider myself a realist, alright? but in philosophical terms I'm what's called a pessimist. It means I'm bad at parties." - Rust Cohle
"Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize that half of 'em are stupider than that." - George Carlin
"The internet: It's like a training camp for never amounting to anything." - Oglaf
"I think internet message boards and the like are dangerous." - Anno
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