ITT: What are you working on right now?

Yeah. You read right. This is for everything that doesn't have anything to do with Eva.

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LeoXiao
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Postby LeoXiao » Sat Oct 24, 2009 8:48 pm

Joseph the PRPD wrote:I've been thinking of making a video with me destroying my old video camera since the one I currently own is so much better and the reason why I have the one I currently do is because the old Video Camera just stopped working but I don't think I can bring myself to destroying it. :dejected:


Dude don't destroy it. It might suddenly work someday, and plus, electronics are cool, broken or no.

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Postby Joseph the PRPD » Sat Oct 24, 2009 8:52 pm

I was thinking the same thing. But it's been like that for a year now. It'll be pretty convenient if it started working I'll have two cameras which would be excellent for certain videos but alas I am hesitant on destroying as previously mentioned. Most likely I'm not going to break it all.

But when I think about it I want to get my Dad's tools and open up my old video camera to see if I can find out if something is wrong internally. Which would be a cool project in itself.
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Postby Sailor Star Dust » Sat Oct 24, 2009 8:56 pm

Legendary: Ooh, that looks interesting. I'm curious to know what's going on there. ^_^
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Postby Eva Yojimbo » Sat Oct 24, 2009 9:18 pm

I don't so much "work" on things as I do spew stuff out in moments of inspiration. I guess I can post my last three poems here:
SPOILER: Show
Dementia Couplets

I see the gods at ungodly hours
Devouring graves with infernal power
To ashes, to ashes
In the waning surge of midnight miles
Where the blood moon weeps and the child smiles
The swallow swallows yesterday’s sorrows
And flies through the bog of foggy morrows

Oh who did I see through windows of rain?
A face full of tears of dying pain.

Allow me to sing you a lullaby
To lull you away to a later time
A better time, a better time
And I wished you could be there for the morning sun
To see me through the nightmare’s run
But I fear it’s too late, the cormorant’s home
And I’m out on the skerries of kingdom come

Could you take me to where the river flows?
You knew where it did a long time ago.

I want to get back to my garden of Eden
I know it’s not far, I just lost it while dreaming
Of you, of you
But the falling fires will soon kill the light
And I’ll listen to symphonies with dying sight
The crowd will be loud in the caterwaul
The fire in their throats will beckon the thaw

I’ve walked on too far, did I just miss the end?
All I wanted to see was my dearest old friend.

The lampposts still hang like nooses at noon
But the night’s fallen long and dawn comes too soon
Too soon, too soon
I’ll hold off the demons disturbing my mind
I’ll pray you will help whenever it’s time
But I’ll limp and I’ll skulk down the lanes and the alleys
Through shadows of fear and the antique valleys

If you don’t come believe that I’ll miss you forever
I’ll starve my own hunger in this fruitless endeavor

Riverrun past the Eve of Adam’s rib
In darkened palaces of white lies and fibs
I won’t tell, I won’t
This Styx was a simmer when I lit the match
The 9th Circle’s melting and the lock is unlatched
Unleashed to a world who will never be ready
If I can read my own writing my hand will hold steady…

I’m tired, so tired
I’ll rest in this fire

With Words

I’ll breathe in this paling phosphor
As you breathe out the purging conflagration
Does it heal? Does it hurt?
She falls prostrate and trembles
I’ll recoil, and seek the spot where two walls meet the floor
What did we say?
In the infinitesimal time between
Actions
Words
Thoughts
It’s so easy
The annihilation of this imperceptible nexus
The roots of great oaks burrow into the earth
But these have been extirpated
By nothing
Things as light as air
For they couldn’t loft feathers
You couldn’t hurt a fly with mere phonetics

But in the severed pathos of this tragedy
Full of fools; the only certainty
With words begun
With words destroyed
With words rebuilt
This bridge across this immortal distance

My Escape

In ages gone I caught the comet’s tail
A cosmos voyage thorough voided space and time
To flee these cares and worries, escape my crime
Where haunted, tortured memory is my hell
My mind a guarded gate of blood and bone
This brimstone Cerberus watches every move
And traps me in my burning room alone
My innocence and guilt just toys to prove
But now I’m gone, far gone, away, away
This ‘scape in sheets of winter gray and white
Where shimmering silver rivers flow astray
I’ll be… a scape; lack feathers for my flight
Don’t pull me down I’m safe in lofty heaven
And tired of baking like and for my leaven
I'm "working" on others to the extent that I have pieces and fragments of ideas written down that I plan on working on. One is an intricate, symbolic sonnet about living in the digital age. So far I've got:
SPOILER: Show
Are we configured for a dig’tal age;
Our human an’log coil shuffled off
And dressed in fiber optic/copper cage
Cinelogue & Forced Perspective Cinema
^ Writing as Jonathan Henderson ^
We're all adrift on the stormy seas of Evangelion, desperately trying to gather what flotsam can be snatched from the gale into a somewhat seaworthy interpretation so that we can at last reach the shores of reason and respite. - ObsessiveMathsFreak
Jimbo has posted enough to be considered greater than or equal to everyone, and or synonymous with the concept of 'everyone'. - Muggy
I've seen so many changeful years, / to Earth I am a stranger grown: / I wander in the ways of men, / alike unknowing and unknown: / Unheard, unpitied, unrelieved, / I bear alone my load of care; / For silent, low, on beds of dust, / Lie all that would my sorrows share. - Robert Burns' Lament for James

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Postby Merridian » Sat Oct 24, 2009 10:30 pm

Since I finished writing “Primetime Television” I’ve sorta been taking a break, but since a ‘break from artistic expression’ is pretty much impossible for me, I’ve been rereading & modifying a long-ass poem that I’ve been working on-and-off with for about three years now. It’s still a disorganized muck heap even after ALL THIS FRIGGIN TIME, with 2k-some words (for a guy who values succinctness, I find this word count to be both an atrocity and a frustration) and up to 8 pages. It feels pointless though, since even when (IF) it’s finished, I’ll have nowhere to post it. I pimped the shit out of the formatting with tabs and indents, but that all gets nulled when I upload docs onto fictionpress.org (the site I use for publishing original fiction). :(

Aside from that, I’ve been gathering ideas for my next Dixon Fuel absurdist detective story, and letting my music & sonic experiments stew on the backburner. I’ll probably revisit that stuff soon again though.

I did write this last week, though. Too much Skip James, I guess--I totally ripped the refrain from his song "Hard Time Killin' Floor Blues". This meandering chunk has no title, nor do I really feel like giving it one.
SPOILER: Show
Can’t find that road no more, no more,
Can’t stir myself from that killin’ floor.

Honey dew suckled me from so lonesome misery,
Set fire to backdrops blue spacious invisibly,
Hopped-up addict on the fire-sphere inferno chasm
Soaked to bones with the dead glares off chrome.
Falling off rocks on masks so corroded, drank
Pool off cold metal seeped down this throat.
Parched dry feeble-minded lungs coughed through dust and smoke
But when that levee broke, there wrote
Less time for denial.

Can’t find that road no more, no more,
Water please clean off this killin’ floor.

Sailed into port on a train-wrecked boat
When the waters rose higher than the thorns of the sun.
Land sank under drip stream fluids from the lungs of the mighty
As they coughed up dribbled down chins through drones
And dunes and warnings from a pocket lip stick.

Never can find that road no more,
Water come bathe me on this killin’ floor.

High waters lonesome fled into the valley ‘low;
Left mark high-rung to endless dunes of sand.
Dug for oil but only got gold, fled nylons
Fed on Cylons on the bill boards, drowned in sorrows,
Worried sparrows, killed John Wayne for just a little more.

Waters sunk that road so more,
Can’t find my feet on this killin’ floor.
I can’t get offa this killin’ floor.
I get so lonesome on this killin’ floor.
Waters sunk that road for more.
And I can’t get outta this killin’ floor.


If I cared more about this, I'd probably play around with that second stanza ("Sailed into port..."). The rhythm and diction feel clunky against the lyrical context I'd already built up... ah well.


@Jimbo: lol @ structure. :lol: In seriousness, I think the first two were pretty strong, but the sonnet felt more than a little forced. The imagery you're playing with in "Dementia Couplets" kicks ass, though.

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Postby Eva Yojimbo » Sun Oct 25, 2009 12:06 am

Merridian wrote:It feels pointless though, since even when (IF) it’s finished, I’ll have nowhere to post it.
Post it here; I'll read it. :)

Merridian wrote:lol @ structure. :lol:
:???:

Merridian wrote:the sonnet felt more than a little forced.
Really? It's odd you say that since I traditionally tend to spend days fussing over my sonnets and getting everything just right and of all of them that one not only came the easiest but only took like 20 minutes to write. Lines 1-3, 5-6, and 10-11 I've had in my mind for a while and just worked them all into the same piece. There is a... confusedness about it, but that's intentional (it's basically about a guy escaping guilt by going insane). Plus, I like the wordplay on "scape"... I'm a sucker for puns. :tongue:
Cinelogue & Forced Perspective Cinema
^ Writing as Jonathan Henderson ^
We're all adrift on the stormy seas of Evangelion, desperately trying to gather what flotsam can be snatched from the gale into a somewhat seaworthy interpretation so that we can at last reach the shores of reason and respite. - ObsessiveMathsFreak
Jimbo has posted enough to be considered greater than or equal to everyone, and or synonymous with the concept of 'everyone'. - Muggy
I've seen so many changeful years, / to Earth I am a stranger grown: / I wander in the ways of men, / alike unknowing and unknown: / Unheard, unpitied, unrelieved, / I bear alone my load of care; / For silent, low, on beds of dust, / Lie all that would my sorrows share. - Robert Burns' Lament for James

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Postby THE Hal E. Burton 9000 » Sun Oct 25, 2009 2:06 am

I've found myself stuck with school work in recent months, which also explains my infrequency of visiting and posting on EGF :stars:

I have lost count on projects that are "just for fun" or whatever that are on the back burner

there's incomplete concepts, writings, drawings, sculptures, paintings, photo albums and music-related stuff, as well as resolutions to ultimately take better care of myself health-wise along with untested for-profit ventures and multiple brokerage accounts that are currently only in "cash" that I don't have time for currently
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P.S. For those wanting to discuss a matter with yours truly not pertaining to the general topic at hand, PM me. Please and thank you.

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Postby CorporalChaos » Sun Oct 25, 2009 9:19 pm

Currently trying to draw my focus back together on my writing, I've been able to write a few kernels of stories the last couple of weeks, but due to my scheduling, there's only a limited amount of time I can set aside to actually write, and even then, that time's usually broken up into discontinuous one-hour segments.

A couple of the competing ideas:

Project Yandere: An insane kids goes to an island asylum. All the girls are yandere for him. Characterization is fairly similar to SZS, with each girl getting just one (and weird) personality trait.

SciFi Plot 1: Some form of toxin begins to circulate in the Earth's atmosphere, killing everything with violent, psychedelic deaths.

SciFi Plot 2: A woman gets infested with cordyceps. This story puts the FUN back in fungus.

Unclassified plot 1: A couple, lovers by day, try to fight one another to death every night.

There's a few other descriptions that I just wrote down to get some images out of my head, I dunno what I'm going to do with those.



In other fields, mostly just photography every now and then. Most of the trees that turned colors lost their leaves in some gusty winds the other day, so everything's either still green or lost everything. I was hoping for some nice colors this year, too.
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Postby LeoXiao » Sun Oct 25, 2009 9:20 pm

Here's a concept for the game I'm making.
[url]http://i170.photobucket.com/albums/u263/LeoXiao/WARPLANRTSConcept.png[/url]

I've only done a little bit of actual programming however and I'm starting to see that getting everything to work well is going to be a pain in the ass.
Last edited by LeoXiao on Sun Oct 25, 2009 9:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Postby Great Genius Shinji-Sama » Sun Oct 25, 2009 9:22 pm

The devil is in the details. I'm sure making star wars work well with the Death Star Trench scene and all the crap Lucas and the like was a pain the ass too Leo. But if you're actually passionate about it or truly like that sorta thing all the hard work and everything will be worth it.
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Postby Mongoosedog » Sun Oct 25, 2009 10:08 pm

currently trying to think up a decent plot for my comic idea. i've thought of the main character and some supporting characters. having trouble deciding what style to do it in. it'll be a manga but i'm having trouble deciding on a specific type of drawing style, i don't have 'my own' style as far as manga is concerned.

the main idea for this comic is:

the main guy's dreams become reality, sounds cliche but i'm hoping i can put it across in a non-cliche way. when the protagonist sleeps or is knocked unconscious whatever he dreams becomes real, more like he projects a dream version of himself and whatever he thinks of into the real world rather than creating a dream world. his brother has been kidnapped by an organisation and put in a coma while they do experiments to create their version of a perfect world using his ability to make his dreams a reality.

it's set in a modern city. i was going to make it a dark serious story but decided to make it more light-hearted and fun seeing as it will be my first attempt at an original comic

i really don't know what exactly i'm going to do with it as i have no real message to get across or anything, i just like the basic idea of it.

i have a lot of comic ideas that i have come up with but don't know what to do with them exactly. i'm mostly worried they will be lame or pretentious or unoriginal or something. i just recently finished the game i was playing so i'm gonna try and take a break from long games and focus on drawing and creative stuff, and also continue work on my Eva parody, i still haven't done any more than the first page.

Yojimbo i quite like the imagery in your first poem
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Postby LeoXiao » Sun Oct 25, 2009 10:42 pm

the main guy's dreams become reality, sounds cliche but i'm hoping i can put it across in a non-cliche way. when the protagonist sleeps or is knocked unconscious whatever he dreams becomes real, more like he projects a dream version of himself and whatever he thinks of into the real world rather than creating a dream world. his brother has been kidnapped by an organisation and put in a coma while they do experiments to create their version of a perfect world using his ability to make his dreams a reality.


wow, that's actually an interesting premise. If you do right it could be something like Darker than Black. that would be cool.

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Postby Eva Yojimbo » Mon Oct 26, 2009 12:47 am

Mongoosedog wrote:Yojimbo i quite like the imagery in your first poem
Thanks ya, thanks ya. I find it ironic that it seems the pieces I work the least hard on are always my most popular ones and the ones I endlessly fuss over and really pour my heart and soul into nobody cares about... Ahhh, the absurdities of art. :tongue:
Cinelogue & Forced Perspective Cinema
^ Writing as Jonathan Henderson ^
We're all adrift on the stormy seas of Evangelion, desperately trying to gather what flotsam can be snatched from the gale into a somewhat seaworthy interpretation so that we can at last reach the shores of reason and respite. - ObsessiveMathsFreak
Jimbo has posted enough to be considered greater than or equal to everyone, and or synonymous with the concept of 'everyone'. - Muggy
I've seen so many changeful years, / to Earth I am a stranger grown: / I wander in the ways of men, / alike unknowing and unknown: / Unheard, unpitied, unrelieved, / I bear alone my load of care; / For silent, low, on beds of dust, / Lie all that would my sorrows share. - Robert Burns' Lament for James

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Postby MugwumpHasNoLiver » Mon Oct 26, 2009 4:04 am

Those are some nice poems, Jimbo. Really literary with some sophisticated imagery; really grandiose, heaven and hell-type stuff. The words sound pretty, but I really don't know what any of them are about. The first one seems to be nostalgic, the second contemplative and the last one guilty. Or maybe not? This might all just be my sleep deprivation talking. I'll need to take a more in-depth and attentive look at them later.

That said, I've also been working on a poem in lieu of writing any more fiction. I've been lazy. Tons of ideas just no incentive. Meh, these things are temporary, I've got my ups and downs. I don't even know if this can really be a called a 'poem', I'd intended it to be a song, but I know nothing about music, so that probably won't go well, but it was also supposed to be in my book. It has characters from my book and fits into the plot.

Oh, and it contains a lot of slurs towards homosexuals. The intention was to be satirical, not homophobic, but it's also a confession . . . in song! How gay is that, right? Anyway, I think the subject matter is serious, but the whole thing reads like a slowly winding farce. Probably because I don't want to admit that the subject matter is serious.

Also, it's long. About seven Microsoft Works pages. Read at your own risk.

SPOILER: Show

Chrysalis Trauma


BENJAMIN HADES

Remember the guy who’d never hold himself up?
Face rotted bone, sipping Coke out a paper cup?
Well he’s got a side you’ve never seen,
A side that’s inhuman ugly and obscene,
An ancient curse crying silent in his genes,
Makes the blood rupture in a hundred spleens,

DRAMA FAERIES

You knew this whole time, but we never did,
And now he’s gone and blown off the lid,
It’s left a very nasty scar,
Gave us all a big har, har, har,
It was our friend from the autumn play,
But we stand here on this very day,
Met with shock and awe,
At the very strange thing that we saw,

BENJAMIN HADES

It’s been spreading for awhile now,
Swelled up plump like an infected cow,
But now it’s time for him to take his bow,
Deceit like this, we can never allow,

DRAMA FAERIES

He was wrapped tight in a blue velvet bed,
With someone special resting head to head,
It was lean, tan, shone like a plastic toy,
And we all saw it was really a boy,

BENJAMIN HADES

All of the earth’s lowliest creatures,
With grotesque and untouchable features,
Roach, fly, worm and maggot,
Now we know Charon is a faggot,

[And The Mistress Nyx formed the sodomite from the puss on her belly, And spat into his anal crevice the juice of life; and the sodomite became a living soul,]


D. H. CHARON

Don’t mock me in my time of pain,
My self-esteem is down the drain,
Behind that pane of glass,
You’re laughing like an ass,
Pissing in my puncture wound,
While I’m alone in another room,

Sometimes I think I deserve your jeers,
But I won’t drink em down with cheers,
It’s eaten at me my entire life,
Teenage years filled with strife,
I’m still afraid to reach out and touch,
The thought of it ending seems too much,
I hid it the very best I ever could,
Then my best efforts burned like wood,

No, I never deserved this,
No one could ever deserve this!
What crime did I commit?
Which fruit have I bit?
It’s ailed me since the womb,
And it will until my doom,
When I was fourteen,
It seemed like a terrible dream,
I thought it was a phase,
And walked the streets in a daze,

Then I prayed for a cure,
But I was always unsure,
Of the finality of it all,
I’ve gone so far to fall,
And now the lie I bereave,
Is it really so hard to believe?

DRAMA FAERIES

No, it’s really not,
There’s no need to roll around in hate,
Because you think you’re not straight,
We’re just kidding around,
Please don’t let us all down,
Your old skin has come undone,
And you have nowhere left to run,

DRAMA FAERIES (Cont’d)

You’re are our friend,
But it has to end,
We’re happy for you,
You should be happy too
We’re so happy,
Please be happy too.

D. H. CHARON

I told myself I’d be naked but of this,
Even if it means I’d never be kissed,
When I look at all of those creatures,
With grotesque and untouchable features:
Studs, hairy chests and leather pants,
Marching in parades like soldier ants,
Limp wrists, pursed lips and girly shrieks,
Jerking around in pallid boutiques,
Curving their eyes into flippant peeks,
At the glossy bones of the other freaks,
There’s a spectral death deep in the heart of me,
A numbing, ice warmth like a glucose spree,
Roach, fly, worm and maggot,
Why oh why was I born a faggot?

[So The Mistress Nyx left exhaustion to stifle the loins of the sodomite, and while comatose took one of his testicles and stuffed in its place a cluster of crystal estrogen; and the testicle which The Mistress Nyx had taken from the sodomite She made into a bottom and brought him to the sodomite,]

D. H. CHARON (Cont’d)

Sometimes I think I’m getting queerer,
And day to day, it’s getting clearer,
Whenever I try to look in the mirror,
I shutter at what’s looking back,
My head’s nice severed in a sack,
Cause my skin has got to be like wax,
My lashes get thick and black,
My smile gets jagged and long,
My pinky finger quivers in song,
My eyes shimmer and look so delicate,
And I accept the perversion as adequate,

D. H. CHARON (Cont’d)

When I look at those creatures,
With grotesque and untouchable features,
I die inside because I know I’m one of them,
My body grows limp on the violet stem,
Of a flower pot filled with silver phlegm,
Roach, fly, worm and maggot,
Why, oh why was I born a faggot?

[Then the sodomite screeched, “This at last is a bone for me to bone and flesh to put in my flesh; he shall be called a bottom, because I am to be taken out of his bottom again and again. Tee-hee-hee-hee!”]

DRAMA FAERIES

You’re our friend,
But it has to end,
We’re happy for you,
You should be happy, too
We’re so happy,
Please be happy, too.

BENJAMIN HADES

What differentiates human and insect identity?
A drop of blood and sweet liquid serenity,
But the agony never really goes away,
Day to day, you know it’s here to stay,
Closet drawers and webcam whores,
Hipster scum and a blistered thumb,
Y-Gen maggots in piss parade with faggots,

[Therefore a sodomite leaves his father in hatred and embarrassment and his mother clinging to him in tears and mounts his bottom, and they become almost like one whole Man. And the sodomite and his bottom will be naked and like the Woman but feel no shame.]

D. H. CHARON

I can never face my father this way,
Pat of me thinks he’s dreading the day,
Curling his fists for me to say I’m gay,
Mother will stare, pretending not to care,
Grandma will bring it up every so often,
To make my stature and demeanor soften,

D. H. CHARON (Cont’d)

They’ll try so hard and so long to be polite,
Soft reassurances whispering ‘It’ll be alright’,
But behind a collective plastic smile,
Their guts are swelling with bile,
Now that they’ve realized their fears,
They can do nothing but dam their tears,
I guess with the world at least I can bare,
It’s with my own home that I can’t share,

[In the semen on thy face shalt thou suck cock, till thou return unto my belly;
For out of it wast thou taken: for puss thou art, and unto puss shalt thou return,]

D. H. CHARON (Cont’d)

I don’t want your pity,
I don’t want acceptance,
All I want is a chance,
To break out of this trance,
And stand back on my feet,
I’m more than rotting meat,
Now I see that my soul,
Is no longer whole,

And now that’s it gone,
I don’t have to be withdrawn,
If I seek out the real one,
This biting loneliness will be done,
As long as I know it’s true,
I have a chance to make it through,
If not I’ll be cocooned in denial,
Lost in a maze on a foreign isle,
It can’t come to that, I need to believe,
Or I’ll have nothing to do but grieve,

When I’m wrapped in the black ether,
Light and clean as a white feather,
Prodded with sticky ice-pick stares,
And an onslaught of arachnid hairs,
From the barbed tail of the million legs,
And erect saccharine crests,
In decadent man-eater fests,
A metallic multicolored wing,
Makes my intestines sing,

D. H. CHARON (Cont’d)

In cylinders spiked with emery,
I feel the fear I’ve not felt since,
A time gone from my memory,
And back in time, I bleed and wince,
I’m down here on the ground,
And there’s broken glass all around,

DRAMA FAERIES

We’re happy for you,
You should be happy, too
We’re so happy,
Please be happy, too

BENJAMIN HADES

All of the earth’s lowliest creatures,
With grotesque and untouchable features,
Roach, fly, worm and maggot,
Now we know Charon is a faggot!

[In blind and entitled hope of a second chance at life to free immortality for all by the glorious womb of Nyx, we offer to Her Mistress this sodomite D. H. Charon; and commit his body to the worms and bacteria of the Earth; nothing to nothing; asses to asses, puss to puss. Her Mistress blow him and choke him, Her Mistress come on his face until it shines like a waxed Ferrari and caress his loins sensually until he begs for forgiveness and peace. Hooray!]

D. H. CHARON

I can be happy,
I want to be happy, too,
Someday I can be happy,
I hope I can be happy,
Maybe I’ll be happy, too

HARLEQUINS

Gay boy, you’re feeling very sleepy,
Open wide and drink our pee-pee,
Gay boy, you look like you need a sit,
Open wide and eat our shit,
Gay-boy, Gay-boy,


DRAMA FAERIES (In the voices of Cockney children)

Our mothers said to always behave,
And when in danger always be brave,
But never ever trust that bloody poof,
Or be trampled under Baphomet’s hoof,

HARLEQUINS (In the voice of a drunken Southern sheriff)

Gay-boy, Gay-boy, hanging from a tree,
F-U-C-K-I-N-G
Once in the butt,
Then came the trial,
Now you’re in the gallows aisle,

D. H. CHARON

The scorpion women are after me,
They’re coming out of my eye sockets

DRAMA FAERIES (In the voices of Cockney children)

Our mothers said to always behave,
And when in danger always be brave,
But never ever trust that bloody poof,
Or be trampled under Baphomet’s hoof,

HARLEQUINS (In the voice of a drunken Southern sheriff)

Gay-boy, Gay-boy, hanging from a tree,
F-U-C-K-I-N-G
Once in the butt,
Then came the trial,
Now you’re in the gallows aisle,


If anyone reads the whole thing, please tell me what emotion it made them feel. I'm very curious.
Last edited by MugwumpHasNoLiver on Tue Oct 27, 2009 2:18 am, edited 1 time in total.
"Now, from Nature we obtain abundant information about ourselves, and precious little about others. About the woman you clasp in your arms, can you say with certainty that she does not feign pleasure? About the woman you mistreat, are you quite sure that from abuse she does not derive some obscure and lascivious satisfaction? Let us confine ourselves to simple evidence: through thoughtfulness, gentleness, concern for the feelings of others we saddle our own pleasure with restrictions, and make this sacrifice to obtain a doubtful result." -The Divine Marquis

"I agree Hans, but we have talked about those anal fisting analogies." -Werner Herzog

CorporalChaos
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Postby CorporalChaos » Mon Oct 26, 2009 9:43 pm

Mongoosedog wrote:the main guy's dreams become reality, sounds cliche but i'm hoping i can put it across in a non-cliche way. when the protagonist sleeps or is knocked unconscious whatever he dreams becomes real, more like he projects a dream version of himself and whatever he thinks of into the real world rather than creating a dream world. his brother has been kidnapped by an organisation and put in a coma while they do experiments to create their version of a perfect world using his ability to make his dreams a reality.

it's set in a modern city. i was going to make it a dark serious story but decided to make it more light-hearted and fun seeing as it will be my first attempt at an original comic


Not to intrude on one's realm of creativity, but I do have a couple of ideas. Make one of the siblings a female. I guarantee this will easily double the number of people who actually decide they like it and read. Especially the manga crowd, they live and breath for the psychotic main female lead who stops at nothing, or the damsel in distress.

Secondly, if you want it to be lighthearted, make the main characters have bizarre and interesting dreams, uncontrollably. It's one thing to fall into the cliche of having the character dream whatever they need into reality, but it's different to have them dream something weird into reality...and actually finding a use for it.

But like I said, this is your story. Do what you want with it.
Occam's Razor: The simplest explanation is generally the correct one.
Essel's Corollary: The simplest explanation is never the fanon one.

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Postby Mongoosedog » Mon Oct 26, 2009 10:01 pm

@ CorporalChaos

they are some good suggestions. i might implement those when i get around to doing but this morning i decided to make my other originally serious idea a more light-hearted one as the situation the main guy is in has heaps of space for hilarity...hopefully. My comic idea is this:

SPOILER: Show
There is the Earth, The Demon World and The Angel World. the 3 worlds all exist on a different plane (spelling?). demons can't go to the angel world and vica versa but both can go to the human world. the only being that can go to all 3 worlds is a half angel half demon child. due to the conflict between the two it's a very rare occurence (but of course the main character is one ;) ). There is a Demon King (or Queen) that rules the demon world and an Angel King (or Queen) that rules the angel world.

The most important 'thing' of all this is if the ruler of the demon world has a child with the ruler of the angel world that child has the potential to become God of all 3 worlds (and of course that is how the main character was born)

the child's parents escaped to earth to hide but the new ruler of the demon world found them and sent one thousand or there-abouts demons to kill the parents and possess the child. as soon as the demons enter the child his powers as a god are awakened and he kills all the demons, but this drains all his power and he doesn;t get it back till his late teens. angel friends of his parents are sent to look after him only they don't know who he is so one becomes a teacher at his school because he has a feeling that he attends that particular school and the other guardian becomes a student (much to her displeasure).

The new demon king wants to kill the child but can't sense his power until the kid is a teen.

when the kid was about 17 or 18 a random demon possessed him and tried his own methods of becoming a god which involved the demon absorbing a demon and an angel soul into the child's body and then hanging himself in order to merge all souls together with the main demon gaining all the power and ability to visit all 3 worlds. however this demon was exercised and the child and the other 2 spirits remained in him and they are active and sharing his body. the demon in him is a girl and the angel in him is a guy.

there is more but i'm kinda missing class...
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Postby Defectron » Mon Oct 26, 2009 10:21 pm

I'm working on the "They Fight Crime" project which is a manga short based on the "They fight crime generator". I'll probably only make one chapter of this unless I get compelled to do more, it's meant more as practice then anything else.

http://www.theyfightcrime.org/

The one I'm basing it off of is "He's a suave overambitious master criminal from the 'hood. She's a time-travelling belly-dancing angel from a family of eight older brothers. They fight crime!"

I only got the drawing of the criminal from the hood done so far though because I've hardly had any time to work on this.

[URL=http://img33.imageshack.us/i/blingo.jpg/]Image[/URL]

You'll notice he's carrying a grassy notebook, this is a magic note book that causes anyone who he writes the name of to go walk on the grass on an area where walking on the grass is forbiddon (in this universe that has bad consequences, it is the root of chaos)

Now to get to work on the belly dancing angel from the future.

Any good ideas on what I should name them? I dont really have any ideas for that yet.
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Postby Merridian » Mon Oct 26, 2009 10:28 pm

Defectron wrote:Any good ideas on what I should name them? I dont really have any ideas for that yet.
Steve and Angela. Angela’s the guy.

Or Mechanical Joe and Twiddlesticks.

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Postby Defectron » Mon Oct 26, 2009 10:29 pm

Steve and Angela. Angela’s the guy.

Or Mechanical Joe and Twiddlesticks.



Hmmm that might just be crazy enough to work!
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Postby schismatics » Mon Oct 26, 2009 10:43 pm

Hmmmm...if we're actually going to show off some of our stuff...I guess I' show off what I wanted to do in comic/book form.

This is a BIG setting description.
SPOILER: Show
TOWERS 1.0 - SO DID WE


BACKGROUND INFORMATION:

- A large population of humans live inside of a massive tower. They cannot leave the tower because the outside world is toxic, dangerous and cannot be lived in. According to the tower legends, God created the tower to save his children from his punishment to the rest of the world. The legends also say that God lives at the very top of the tower and will personally come down from his throne to release his followers back into the purified world.


TOWER INFORMATION:

- The tower itself is HUGE. The tower is divided up into levels. Each level is fairly big across. Like let's say each level is about the size of 2 or 3 city blocks in diameter. Elevators run all throughout the tower to help with getting from level to level. There is a division of levels based on their purposes. Here they are Detainment (levels -10-0) Maintenance (level 1)
Residential (levels 2-49)
Marketplaces (levels 50-54)
Greenhouses (levels 55-74)
Private Businesses (level 75)
Upper class residential (levels 76-79)
Government (levels 80-84)
Church (levels 85-89)
Unknown (levels 90-?)

1) Detainment/maintenance - These lower levels are the prisons of the tower society. Punishment down here is usually forced labor. Since these levels are underground, mining for minerals and other resources is usually punishment. There are also large animal farms (cows, pigs, etc.) down in this level (running these is either punishment for smaller crimes or the extremely poor). This is actually a vast underground cave system down there, but no one knows the full extent of it. Also down in these levels are the maintenance levels. There are the all the electrical generators, water sources and other things that run along those lines.

2) Residential - Basic housing levels. The average person would live on one of these levels. There is a ranking system on these levels. The most poor live on the lower levels and the middle class type people live on the higher levels. Each "house" is basically like an apartment. Each aparment contains a living room, kitchen, bathroom, 3 bedrooms. All of apartments are owned by the government, so the people living in them have to pay rent in order to live in the apartments. The other option would be to work in the farms in the detainment levels. People can decorate the homes however they want. NOTE: there are no TVs in the tower society, but only radios.

3) Marketplaces - The social area of the tower. In the marketplaces there is bartering for goods (food, clothes, jewelry, etc.) and some restaurants. The marketplace is usually packed and full of people. Many residents of the tower make their living here by making their products at their homes and selling them at their little shops in the marketplace. Unlike the detainment and residential levels there are large windows on opposing walls that allow the people to come up and have a good look at whats left of the outside world.

4) Greenhouses - This set of levels is where all the plants are grown. Many people also earn jobs up here working the small fields and then selling their products in the marketplaces below. There is also a large park that takes up Level 64 which contains an area of open grass that is a common meeting place for residents. Also note that all of the greenhouse levels have large windows which on every wall which allow sunlight to come in and help the plants grow. Irrigation water is also pumped in from the maintenance level with some minerals from the detainment levels to help the plants grow in the indoor environment. These are the only levels that contain actual dirt on the floor.

5) Private Bus. - This level contains the more "legitimate business" section of the tower. There's banks, and more shops aimed at the upper class of the tower residents. There's also some nicer restaurants in this section. Just basically everything that is considered something aimed up at the upper class is in this level.

6) Upper Class Res. - The very small upper class lives in these levels. There's still the apartment based living quarters in this level, but the apartments are a LOT bigger. Many of the residents in this level are either involved in the Private Business level or a government


7) Government - The levels that control the actions of the entire tower. Instead of having a president or anything, the government is based off of a 10 person council which decides the laws and the punishments for the tower. The council is also the only court in the entire tower. The rest of the government personnel is involved with various regulations, worrying about the general welfare of the tower's residents. (I'll give you more information on the council and the government when that comes into play with the main storyline).

8) Church - The Church is the most powerful force in the tower. If the church wants some sort of law passed, it will get passed. This is mainly due to the fact that the leader of the council is known to be affiliated with the church. Residents in these levels devote themselves to their religion. They spend all their time trying to bring themselves closer to their god and bringing that god to all the citizens of the tower. There are many places of worship for the people of the tower. Every day there is some sort of mass and anybody from the public is welcome.

9) ??? - No one is entirely sure what is contained in the levels above the church. The main in charge of the church has the key to these unknown levels and that is all that is known about them.

OUTSIDE OF THE TOWER:

- The outside of tower is completely inhospitable. The ground is a complete barren wasteland that kinda resembles ashes. Out in every direction of the tower nothing can be seen but this ash. Since the outside is toxic to the humans, noone can leave the tower in any way shape or form. There is still a sky and clouds do not cover up the sun all the time. Other than that, there is no life outside of the tower.



And now that I have the background set up here's the main story:

SPOILER: Show
There's going to be a 17-18 yr old boy (Enoch) who lives with his brother (Elijah). They're pretty much just average people just trying to make a decent living in this tower.

Well one day this girl shows up (Judith) where Enoch works and shows an interest in him. Anywho they eventually hang out together Judith reveals to Enoch that she is part of this "resistance" that's trying to find out the truth about what the tower really is. Enoch finds himself in the group and goes along with their missions and stuff.

A subplot I'd like to add around here is about Elijah (Enoch's brother). Elijah doesn't really have any other friends so when Enoch starts hanging out with Judith and the "resistance" all the time so Elijah goes through some stages of jealousy and maybe even some of abandonment.

After some generic resistance stuff, the resistance decides to pull off an armed assault on the aforementioned Unknown Layers of the tower. The assault goes as planned and as soon the group gets to the top layers, they are mowed down by heavy gun fire. There are some glimpses of TV screens that show every level of the tower and there is a person watching each screen. As Enoch is laying dying, he notices that Judith isn't dying or wasn't even shot. He then fades out.

He wakes up then in an ancient time style garden. Ya know with the marble pathways, fountains, etc. Some other people that he's never met before are there and they are basically in paradise. The garden is a limited space, but there's no reason to leave. Enoch falls in love with the place (just like everyone else there) and is at peace...until...

...Enoch wakes up one day in pitch black. No idea where he is. Nothing. Just black. He's in this black for what feels like days until a red light comes floating towards him. The light tells him (in Judith's voice by the way) "I am the representation of the Divine on this earth." Enoch screams at the light begging it to let him return to the wonderful garden. The light then allows him to return on one condition. "You shall go forth and do my bidding the real world. When you are done, you may return to the garden."

Enoch wakes up again. He's in a nicer place and has a soldier's uniform on. He then goes over to TV monitor and watches the inhabitants of the tower for anything suspicious.

TEH END


If you actually managed to read all of that, thanks. :wink:


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