[CYOA]Instrumentality!

[Joseph the PRPD]

It is just another day. You've just made it to school. Classes have not begun yet so you decide to wander the halls. You are a little hungry so you go to the cafeteria and you eat breakfast at a table by yourself. You finish eating but you realize classes begin in 10 minutes. So you walk to class but someone blocks your path.

It is a friend of yours. His name is Colonel Sanders. Colonel Sanders used to be one of the kids who would beat you up and take your money back in Middle School. He also threw you in a garbage can filled with dirty used tampons. He also made you walk around in a pink tutu occasionally but at some point before going to High School you and Colonel Sanders became best friends.

Although you guys have become friends you do feel a little upset still about everything that happened in the past but you don't show it. You two talk about The Cleveland Show and Family Guy for awhile but you can't help but NOT forget about everything he has done and you want to get him back no matter what the consequences are this very moment.

What do you do?:

1) Say his mother is a Llama.
2) Tell him fried chicken sucks.
3) Take a pen out of your pocket and stab him in the neck.
4) Punch him in the stomach.
5) End the conversation by saying "I'll talk to you later. I have to get to class."

[schismatics]

Stab him in the neck!!!

[NemZ]

3, I guess.

also, WTF?

[Sailor Star Dust]

....Chee and Luc do a better job of batshit-insane humor, sorry to say, though I guess this is just a different brand of it.

Hmmm. 3, stab the shmuck.

Also, this is Eva-related somehow, yes?

[esselfortium]

(9:23:36 PM) Claude Freeman: "you make a post. suddenly, men with funny red hairdos, 5-o-clock shadows and dapper white shirts with popped collars barge into your dormroom and confiscate your computer, while one holds a tire iron to your head. Everything goes black."

[GasmaskAvenger]

strangest CYOA yet, because all I can wonder is...how does this fit into the EVAverse?

[Sammaeloo]

^ I think that this is CYOA taking place in an Instrumentality mind-trip.

Stab him in the neck not with a pen, but a Pen-Pen.

[Joseph the PRPD]

Also, this is Eva-related somehow, yes?

Yes. It'll come to fruit very soon.
===
You are filled with rage when you remember all the crap that bastard Colonel Sanders put you through back in Middle School. So you tell him "I'll talk to you later. I have to get to class." You both go your separate ways but as he starts to walk, you stop. You reach into your pocket for a pen and you chase him, screaming like a maniac. "HYAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

You jump in mid air with pen in hand and before he can turn around completely you lodged your pen deep in his neck. You snap out of it and realized what you have done. You stabbed your best friend! Don't you remember that time he saved you from being raped? You feel terrible. You see Colonel Sanders stunned followed by falling to the floor. Is he dead!? Did he faint!? What have I done!? All these thoughts and more come to mind. I'm going to go to jail! They are going to break me!

You look at Colonel's body. You noticed that little blood is coming out since the pen is lodged in so deep. You also take into consideration that your school has no video cameras and for some reason the hallway happened to be conveniently empty. The bathroom is also right next to you...

What do you do?:
1) Leave the body.
2) Steal his wallet and then leave the body.
3) Dump the body in the bathroom.
4) Don't worry, feel happy, dump the body in the bathroom, and then steal his wallet.
5) Go to the principal and confess.

[Sailor Star Dust]

5, because I already know nobody else will pick this one.

[Captain_Morgan]

4...and stuff his body in the used tampon container.

YOU SHALL HAVE VENGEANCE!!!

Since you have now taken his money, the only thing to bring this full circle is to find a pink tutu for his corpse.

[Sammaeloo]

4. Instrumentality is on its way. Even though you don't know its coming, might as well cause some chaos.

[NemZ]

Leave the body and wallet where they are, but take the pen with you. You'll want to wash that off and get rid of it somewhere far from here.

[schismatics]

4.

Heh. This entertains me.

[Joseph the PRPD]

You know what? This is no big deal. I'm just over reacting. The douchebag would probably be bad news for some one in the future. YES! I was just doing my part for society. That's it! Yeah... You let out a chuckle that makes you sound and look like a jackass although you see a small spider and you scream like a five year old girl. Your lucky no one was still around to hear that, jackass.

You take his wallet out of his pocket. You look through and you see fifty dollars, a coupon for Kentucky Fried Chicken, and a gamestop giftcard. Out of the three you take the gift card and money.

You grab the body by the legs and drag it to the boy's bathroom. "Hello?" You say as you enter the bathroom to make sure no one is around. You open the last stall, you pick Colonel Sanders up by the collar and put him in the toilet head first as if you are giving someone a swirly. The pen you lodged into his neck popped out as it grinded against the toilet seat and as a result blood begins to just pour out of his neck. You see this in horror. "Oh my God!" and you being to vomit out whatever you had for breakfast all over Sanders' head as blood continues to pour out. You couldn't let Colonel Sanders die with dignity could you? You lock the door to the last stall, crawl underneath the door of the stall, and run out of the bathroom.

You are five minutes late to class. You run to class but you are amazed at how there was no one around throughout this whole ordeal.

Later:

It's not 5th period. You hear a scream. Could someone have found out? You hear multiple screams and odd noises. You run into the halls and you see very thick orange liquid. What is this? You crouch down and you to touch it with your fingers. You hesitate at first but you go all the way and taste. It kind of tastes like... tang? That's odd...

You turn around and you see a blue haired Japanese girl with red eyes. You yell because she startled you. "Don't sneak up behind me like that!" you say but she doesn't respond. She is just smiling at you and staring. "You are kind of creeping me out." You look past her and you see your teacher in front of the same girl. What the hell? Twins? You see the other girl touch the teacher and your teacher explodes into the tangy liquid! What the fuck!?

You have no idea what is going on and you fear for your life. You walk backwards but you stumble over a crowbar. You don't have time to worry about how it got there. The Japanese girl comes closer. "STAY BACK! STAY BACK!" you shout. You grab the crowbar fearing for your life.

What do you do?:

1) Smack her with the crowbar.
2) Stay in place and see what happens.
3) Get up and run!

[Sammaeloo]

Smack her across the face with the crobar.

[Captain_Morgan]

You know what to do.

[Sailor Star Dust]

Get up and run. Go go go!

[Smothmoth]

While hitting it with a crowbar is generally the solution to all of life's problems, what if you accidentally touch her? Get running!

[AuraTwilight]

Hit her with the crowbar in the vagina.

[Ryjin]

PRPD, you put hitting her with a crow bar as an option, why did you even bother listing anything else? As we all know there isn't a problem in the human condition that can not be corrected with crow bar of appropriate size and force.