[CYOA] Rei Ayanami

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UrsusArctos
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Postby UrsusArctos » Sat Aug 01, 2009 10:52 am

Option 1. Ha ha ha...
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Postby Sailor Star Dust » Sat Aug 01, 2009 10:57 am

Fuck yeah, IRC stuff! I'm torn between 1 & 2...
*filps a coin*
...2 it is.
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Postby schismatics » Sat Aug 01, 2009 12:14 pm

4!!

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Postby Joseph the PRPD » Sat Aug 01, 2009 12:39 pm

schismatics wrote:4!!
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Postby Orphan Of Darkness » Sat Aug 01, 2009 4:58 pm

4!
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Postby Combs » Sat Aug 01, 2009 7:18 pm

You guys are dunderheads. 1 it is.
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Postby NemZ » Sat Aug 01, 2009 7:27 pm

I prefer 2, but I'll say 1 to try and stop the lampshade tide.
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Postby Sammaeloo » Sat Aug 01, 2009 9:34 pm

Go talk to Gendo, that should ensure some weird conversation.

......OH! and don't forget to bring Commander Horse.
Seize the day.....by the throat....
I hate mcdonalds because their mascot is a creepy spooky clown who looks like he smells funny. Seriously every time I see ronald I think he's secretly some sort of rapist who turns people into hamburgers. Also their food sucks. -Defectron
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Postby Lucretius » Sat Aug 01, 2009 10:19 pm

You decide to disguise yourself as a lamp and stand in a corner. You do not want to leave yet, but you also do not wish to be a burden to Ikari-kun and the Lt. Colonel. You remove the shade from a nearby lamp and stand in a corner. Even when you are a lamp, Ikari-kun makes you feel warm.

The Lt. Colonel somehow sees through your clever disguise. “Rei? What are you doing?” you hear her ask.

“I am a lamp,” you reply.

You decide to leave the apartment, now that your cover has been blown. Removing the lampshade, you walk out the door and towards your apartment, ignoring the Lt. Colonel’s baffled stares.

Upon opening the door, you are nearly hit by an eggplant flying through the air. Soryu is glaring at you, stomping her feet and jumping up and down with rage.

“You ultra mega super quadruple to the tenth power pervert! I can’t believe you! You make Caligula look like the Pope! You already have stupid Shinji wrapped around your thumb, so why do you have to set your sights on me, too? You must be some kind of nymphomaniac! I bet you have sex with that stupid horse head you carry around, too!” she shouts.

“Hello, Soryu,” you say. You calmly remove you shoes, noticing that someone has cleaned your apartment. You notice groceries on the counter.

“Thank you,” you say, very surpised. Only Ikari-kun has prompted you to say those words before.

“I-it’s not like I like you or anything!” Soryu says, blushing. “I just felt guilty for beating you unconscious and stealing your wallet, that’s all! I’m only staying here if you promise not to rape me in my sleep!”

“I promise,” you say, unsure of what “rape” is. You suppose it is related to intercourse.

“I’m telling your precious Commander if you do anything weird! Let’s see how long you stay the favorite then! I should put bear traps around my panties.”

You think that Soryu’s panties would make a good hat for Commander Horse, but decide that that is too dangerous.

“Hey, my eyes are up here!” Soryu says, although you have been making eye contact with her throughout the conversation.“Oh well, I guess it can’t be helped,” Soryu continues. “Girl or not, who could resist the charms of the great Asuka Soryu?” She gazes lovingly at herself in your mirror, playing with her hair.

“I was merely attempting to make a joke, Soryu,” you say. “I am not truly attracted to you. I was only imitating a television program.”

Soryu looks slightly dissappointed, but tries to hide it. “Idiot, why should I care if you like me that way or not? Girls aren’t supposed to like other girls!”

You decide to

1) Go to bed, hugging Commander Horse
2) Read your biology textbook all night
3) Play strip poker with Soryu
4) Call the Commander and ask for a bedtime story
Last edited by Lucretius on Sat Aug 14, 2010 11:45 am, edited 1 time in total.

He shuddered a bit, remembering the somewhat creepy level of detail Kaji had gone into, while rubbing a watermelon in a disturbingly sexual way.

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Postby Combs » Sat Aug 01, 2009 10:24 pm

I-its not like I'm picking four because I like this thread or anything!

:$
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Postby schismatics » Sat Aug 01, 2009 10:26 pm

4!!! I WANT A GENDO BEDTIME STORY!!!!!!!

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Postby Sammaeloo » Sat Aug 01, 2009 11:03 pm

Call the commander and request a story.

Gendo,"Once upon a time, there were 17 angels, and there names were-"

Asuka,"Can't we have a different story!"

Gendo,"Request Denied!"


Also :hitthetable:@ "You think that Soryu’s panties would make a good hat for Commander Horse, but decide that that is too dangerous."
Seize the day.....by the throat....
I hate mcdonalds because their mascot is a creepy spooky clown who looks like he smells funny. Seriously every time I see ronald I think he's secretly some sort of rapist who turns people into hamburgers. Also their food sucks. -Defectron
Our plumbing is messed up and my dad will not call anybody because he's a cheap asshole. Fuck you old man, fucking call someone. Some of us want to stay sanitary. -backseatjesus

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Postby Sailor Star Dust » Sat Aug 01, 2009 11:20 pm

4 damnit! :lol: Also, I never tire of your take on Rei. :heart:
Request: Can Asuka sing her theme song (YOU know what; think RP chan :wink: ) next chapter for lulz?
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Postby Legendary » Sat Aug 01, 2009 11:35 pm

4 as well.

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Postby NemZ » Sun Aug 02, 2009 12:39 am

Option 4 is too ridiculous to ignore.

Keeping my fingers crossed for Goodnight (Black) Moon.
Rest In Peace ~ 1978 - 2017
"I'd consider myself a realist, alright? but in philosophical terms I'm what's called a pessimist. It means I'm bad at parties." - Rust Cohle
"Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize that half of 'em are stupider than that." - George Carlin
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Postby Lucretius » Sun Aug 02, 2009 10:43 am

You decide to call the Commander and ask him for a bedtime story. While Soryu is staring at herself in the mirror, you dial his number. You press the speaker phone button so that Soryu can hear as well.

“State your business,” says the Commander.

“Commander Ikari, I have been told that it is customary for fathers to narrate bedtime stories to their daughters. Perhaps you can tell me one as well?” you ask.

“Someone explained the concept of bedtime stories to you?” growls the Commander. “Tell me who it was so I can discipline them.”

“I do not recall,” you say, not wishing to cause trouble for the Sub-Commander.

The Commander sighs. “Very well, I’ll keep the Committee waiting a few minutes longer and tell you a bedtime story. It’s best that they sense their own unimportance, anyway.”

“EeeeEeeh!” whines Soryu. “Bedtime stories are so childish!”

Nevertheless, she moves closer to the phone so that she can hear and sits cross-legged next to you on the floor.

The Commander clears his throat and begins. “Once upon a time, there was a bunny named Cuddles…”

“Rabbits are considered cute,” you interject.

“Silence, Rei.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Cuddles the Bunny had no friends. He lived alone in his own burrow and did not want to see anyone. All the other bunnies despised Cuddles, so he despised them in turn. He would often get into fights with them, kicking them with his hind legs and biting their ears.”

You are confused by the anthropomorphism of these rabbits, but decide not to ask questions until the Commander is finished.

“Cuddles the Bunny knew nothing about love or being loved. His warren had been killed by dogs when he was young, so he learned to stand on his own four feet. One day, he met a girl bunny named Snuggles. Cuddles did not like Snuggles at first, but she was the only bunny who had ever seen any good in him. They soon fell in love.”

Soryu blushes and looks down, for reasons you cannot determine.

“Snuggles was the light of Cuddles’ life. But that light was taken away in a single moment, when Snuggles was killed by a hunter one day.”

“EeeEeeeh!” interrupts Soryu. “Can’t we have a less depressing story?”

“Request denied, Pilot Shikinami.”

“My name’s Soryu, not Shikinami! Jeez, I’ve been working here for months! You should at least know my name by now!”

“Remember your place, Pilot Shikinami,” the Commander says calmly.

“Yes, sir,” mutters an irate Soryu.

The Commander continues his story. “Cuddles the Bunny cursed God and asked him: 'Why do you give, only to take away? Why do you keep doing this? Is this punishment for the sins of the lepine race?' Then Cuddles realized that the purpose of everything in the world is to be taken away. Cuddles the Bunny vowed to become God, so that nothing could ever be taken away from him again. The end.”

“Thank you for the pleasant story, Commander,” you say, smiling a little.

“You’re welcome, Rei. Good night.” You hear a click as the Commander hangs up.

Soryu is still angry. “You really are the favorite! I’m the best pilot, and he doesn’t even know who I am!” she shouts.

“I am not the favorite. I know that only too well,” you reply.

“Yeah, right,” says Soryu, rolling her eyes. “You’re probably his illegitimate daughter or something.”

As Soryu brushes her teeth and gets ready for bed, you hug Commander Horse tightly and think. You sometimes feel that the Commander does not truly love you. He seems to see someone else when he looks at you, sometimes. You hastily dismiss the thought. The Commander is the greatest man you have ever known.

From the next room, you hear Soryu singing to the tune of Handel’s Messiah. “Asukalujah! Asukalujah! And she shall reign forever and ever!” You wonder if Soryu is perhaps conceited.

You lie down under the covers in your school uniform, holding Commander Horse tightly. Soryu puts down a futon next to your bed and lies down too, dressed in her bra and panties. “Don’t look over here, you pervert,” she says, apparently still convinced that you have Sapphic tendencies.

Your alarm clock wakes you up at six-thirty, as usual. Soryu jumps out of bed, infuriated. “Why the hell did you have to set the alarm clock so early?” she demands. “School doesn’t even start until nine!”

“I am sorry,” you say.

“Stupid Japanese, always apologizing! Listen, First. I’ve got some errands to run, so I won’t be at school until later. You can come with me if you want—it’s not like I care or anything!”

You decide to:

1) Go to school. Perhaps you shall see Ikari-kun there.
2) Go with Soryu.
3) Go to Nerv for your check-up. You hope Dr. Akagi does not attempt to murder you.
4) Investigate Kiel’s ramen stand
Last edited by Lucretius on Sun Aug 02, 2009 1:12 pm, edited 2 times in total.

He shuddered a bit, remembering the somewhat creepy level of detail Kaji had gone into, while rubbing a watermelon in a disturbingly sexual way.

Life is a continuous nut-kicking contest where your turn comes last if ever. -majlund

Proud supporter of Shinji x Sachiel

UrsusArctos
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Postby UrsusArctos » Sun Aug 02, 2009 10:47 am

^ :lol:

Option 4 it is!
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WAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!(<-link to lunacy)...Taste me, if you can bear it. (Warning: Language NSFW)
The main point of idiocy is for the smart to have their lulz. Without human idiocy, trolling would not exist, and that's uncool, since a large part of my entertainment consists of mocking the absurdity and dumbassery of the world, especially the Internet.-MaggotMaster

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Postby Sailor Star Dust » Sun Aug 02, 2009 12:11 pm

"Queen of queens! And lady of ladies!" :smirk:

I doubt Shinji will be at school so early.

Check out Kiel's stand! Let's hope it's Kaji flavored ramen & Misato's hording it all, half asleep or not... :lol:
Asuka: Kaji-san?! Where? Rei: His flavor is in the ramen. Asuka: Oo ... *shrugs & eats anyway* Misato: Get your own! ><

Also: Gendo's awesome.
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Postby The Invincible Shinji » Sun Aug 02, 2009 12:16 pm

I vote 4 sounds fascinating.
I'm an A/S shipper and Soryu and Shikinami are one in the same.

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Postby Orphan Of Darkness » Sun Aug 02, 2009 3:04 pm

Yup, 4!
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