Let's make the worst Evangelion adaptation that ever existed!

The place for all of the old Live Action Evangelion Movie threads.
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Let's make the worst Evangelion adaptation that ever existed!

Postby Guyver Spawn » Sat Jul 18, 2009 11:04 pm

I did not had anywhere else to post this but I thought this would be a fun idea (I got the idea from the Watchmen forum). The title speaks for it self and just think of the worst idea for a Eva movie that you think of.

Just for clarification, this thread was created for fun. So, we can distract ourselves for a little while. It should't be taken seriously, and I think it can be fun. I hope everyone's able to participate! ;)

Let's start:

"Neon Genesis Evangelion"
Produced by Roland Emmerich (Godzilla, 10,000 BC) and Directed by Micheal Bay (Pearl Harbor, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen)

Cast:
Ben Affleck as Gendo
Robert Pattinson as Shinji
Tara Reid as Rei Ayanami
Miley Cyrus as Asuka
Jessica Alba as Misato
Tamlyn Tomita as Ritsuko
Will Smith as Kaji

Plot Summary:
In the year 2015 where all of the Internet has been hack and aliens know as The Angels are coming and their goal is to invade and destroy the Earth. Man's best weapon is the will to survive is a young boy named Shinji who must use a big robot know as Evangelion and has the power to turn into a car in combat. Everything goes well until an angel named Adam threatens to take over their world. Shinji, Rei and Asuka must team to together to fight the angels before Bed Time.

Coming soon Summer 2011

Have fun.
Last edited by Guyver Spawn on Sun Jul 19, 2009 8:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby IrkenEvangelion » Sat Jul 18, 2009 11:09 pm

Why would Tara Reid be Rei and not Asuka?

Will Smith as Kaji


LOLZ.
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Postby Guyver Spawn » Sat Jul 18, 2009 11:22 pm

Because Miley Cyrus as Asuka would be worst. Another idea would be "Evangelion School Musical on Ice". I would type out more of the idea but I'm too sleepy to do it.
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Postby IrkenEvangelion » Sat Jul 18, 2009 11:24 pm

^ The scary thing would be I would watch that.
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Postby Sammaeloo » Sat Jul 18, 2009 11:39 pm

"Evangelion"

Produced and directed by Uwe Boll (Renowned for shitty movies and mangling the stories)

Kid from Home Alone(forgot name) as Shinji

Megan Fox as Asuka

Tila Tiquila as Rei

Phillis Diller as Misato

Adam Sandler as Gendo

Dwayne Johnson(AKA The Rock) as Fuyutsuki

Rob Schnieder as Kaji

Jim Carrey as Keel


The year is 2020. The Earth is being invaded by giant alien monsters from the Mars called Angels. They are jealous of Earth and want to live here instead of there. The people of Earth fight back with cybernetic dinosaurs with the power of the aliens called Evangelions. All the while SEELE is secretly negotiating with with the Angels to trade planets in exchange for the attacks to stop.

Shinji is cold and calculating bastard

Asuka disscusses her feelings openly and is friendly

Rei is overexpressive and a bitch

Gendo cracks jokes and is timid

Misato is an old woman who drinks, smokes, and gambles. She also has a talking toad named,"To To"

Fuyutsuki is a rough and tumble former Hell's Angel

Kaji is an clumsy hearthrob who is attracted to Misato despite the fact that she is very old

Keel acts like Jim Carrey
Seize the day.....by the throat....
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Postby BrikHaus » Sun Jul 19, 2009 12:09 am

How could it be possible to make a shittier version of Evangelion than the one that already exists?
Awesomely Shitty
-"That purace has more badassu maddafaakas zan supermax spaceland."
-On EMF, as a thread becomes longer, the likelihood that fem-Kaworu will be mentioned increases exponentially.
-the only English language novel actually being developed in parallel to its Japanese version involving a pan-human Soviet in a galactic struggle to survive and to export the communist utopia/revolution to all the down trodden alien class and race- one of the premise being that Khrushchev remains and has abandoned Lysenko stupidity

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Postby Sammaeloo » Sun Jul 19, 2009 12:17 am

BrikHaus wrote:How could it be possible to make a shittier version of Evangelion than the one that already exists?

What? I don't understand? :ehh:
Seize the day.....by the throat....
I hate mcdonalds because their mascot is a creepy spooky clown who looks like he smells funny. Seriously every time I see ronald I think he's secretly some sort of rapist who turns people into hamburgers. Also their food sucks. -Defectron
Our plumbing is messed up and my dad will not call anybody because he's a cheap asshole. Fuck you old man, fucking call someone. Some of us want to stay sanitary. -backseatjesus

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Postby Axell » Sun Jul 19, 2009 12:46 am

touche

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Postby Gendo'sPapa » Sun Jul 19, 2009 1:03 am

Just let the people on this forum have their way with a live action adaptation.

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Postby snowballreborn » Sun Jul 19, 2009 1:39 am

No here's how we do it

Jonah hill as Shinji (imagine the plugsuit)
Reba McEntire as Asuka
miley cyrus as Rei
Bruce Vilanch as Kaworu
Megan Fox as Shamshel
Donald Trump as Gendo
Adam Sandler as Keel Lorenz
Steven Colbert as Toji
Richard Simmons as Kensuke
Charles Manson as Kaji
Rosie O'Donell as Misato
Jessica Walter as Ritsuko

Directed by Uwe Boll and Catherine Hardwicke
What does phallic mean?

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Postby Mr. Tines » Sun Jul 19, 2009 1:49 am

Sammaeloo wrote:
BrikHaus wrote:How could it be possible to make a shittier version of Evangelion than the one that already exists?

What? I don't understand? :ehh:

A) BrikHaus
B) Rebuild

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Postby Sammaeloo » Sun Jul 19, 2009 1:58 am

Mr. Tines wrote:
Sammaeloo wrote:
BrikHaus wrote:How could it be possible to make a shittier version of Evangelion than the one that already exists?

What? I don't understand? :ehh:

A) BrikHaus
B) Rebuild

Oh now I get it. At first I thought he was committing something along the lines of a fandom sin and calling the original that and I was like WTF!!! O_o
Seize the day.....by the throat....
I hate mcdonalds because their mascot is a creepy spooky clown who looks like he smells funny. Seriously every time I see ronald I think he's secretly some sort of rapist who turns people into hamburgers. Also their food sucks. -Defectron
Our plumbing is messed up and my dad will not call anybody because he's a cheap asshole. Fuck you old man, fucking call someone. Some of us want to stay sanitary. -backseatjesus

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Postby FreakyFilmFan4ever » Sun Jul 19, 2009 2:05 am

BrikHaus wrote:How could it be possible to make a shittier version of Evangelion than the one that already exists?

Simple. ^_^

Gilbert Gottfried as Gendo Ikari
Hayden Christiansen as Shinji Ikari
Glenn Close as Akuka Langley Soyru
Georgie Henley as Rei Ayanami
Kristen Stewart as Misato
Sigourney Weaver as Ritsko (actually, that'd be kinda cool if it weren't for her age)
Tom Cruise as Kaji
and starring Keanu Reeves as Makoto Hyuga.

With top notch special effects, writer/director Ed Wood takes you through a journey to paper mache Tokyo 3 during the biggest and most horrific alien attack since Plan 9 From Outer Space.

NEON GENESIS EVANGELION
Echo! Echo! Echo!

A small, cross-dressing boy named Shinji Ikari is forced against his will to, among other things, pilot a very convincing looking robot made out of car hubcaps, only to find out that the female pilots look better in girl's clothing than he does! Don't miss the most spectacular, most thrilling, scream-your-lungs-out adventure:

NEON GENESIS EVANGELION
Echo! Echo! Echo!

Unfortunately coming sooner than you'd like to a theater WAY to near to you!

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Postby Kaname Langley » Sun Jul 19, 2009 2:20 am

Tila Tequila as Rei. EPIC WIN
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Postby scarmullet » Sun Jul 19, 2009 2:21 am

Gendo: Jason Mews

Fyutski: Kevin Smith

Shinji: Daniel Radcliffe

Asuka: The Chick from Audition

Rei: Dan Aykroid

Misato: Keanu Reeves

Ristuko: Sigourney Weaver

Kaji: Seth Green

Toji: Adam Sandler

Kensuke: Weird Al

the Voice of the Angels...
Adam Sandler.

The Voice of the EVAs, random rappers.
Yo, yo, yo! Eva One in the hizzouse! Callin' out to my home skillets! Yeeeah! You angel muthfuckas want a piece of this shit? I'mma go pop a cap up in yo' ass!
Me and my Droogs.
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Postby snowballreborn » Sun Jul 19, 2009 2:46 am

a kevin smith *directed* evangelion film would actually be great
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Postby Chrad » Sun Jul 19, 2009 3:07 am

When I was in Japan in January, there was a weekly segment on one of the multitude of prime-time variety shows that featured a girl cosplaying as Asuka touring Japan with an extremely limited amount of money (something like $20). She would do odd-jobs or busk to make that little bit she needed to hit all the essential tourist spots before moving on. Eva BGMs played throughout.

I think that was the worst Evangelion adaptation ever.
No, wait, it was the best.

How about Woody Allen's Evangelion? He'd get all the angst and inability to relate to women down, at least.
Or Béla Tarr's Evangelion, for everyone who was bored out of their mind over the shot of Shinji agonising over killing Kaworu.

snowballreborn wrote:a kevin smith *directed* evangelion film would actually be great

No.

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Postby Timstuff » Sun Jul 19, 2009 3:29 am

Shinji: Zack Effron
Asuka: Megan Fox
Rei: Dakota Fanning (in this version Shinji's treats her like a little sister)
Gendo: Robin Williams (just because I'm sick of his name always popping up for no good reason)
Misato: Jessica Alba (stolen from Guyver Spawn)
Ritsuko: Jessica Simpson (as a scientist, LOL)
Kaji: Keanu Reeves

The movie directed by Robert Zemeckis and done entirely in CG with 3D effects. However, the actors' faces have all been meticulously scanned into a computer and re-created as almost real (but zombie-like) digital puppets, because y'know, CG puppets that look like actors are a lot cooler than the actors themselves. The most exciting parts of the movie are when the Lance of Longinus pokes the camera and gives the audience a headache, and a shot of Jessica Alba's CG ass.

Really though, that's only one possibility. If one's goal was to eff up LAEM as badly as possible, there's a whole sea of options to choose from.
DeviantArt profile being re-invented... Check back later.

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Postby schismatics » Sun Jul 19, 2009 4:21 pm

snowballreborn wrote:Rosie O'Donell as Misato


That is the stuff which nightmares are made of :scared:

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Postby Mr. Tines » Sun Jul 19, 2009 5:01 pm

schismatics wrote:That is the stuff which nightmares are made of :scared:
I think I've already seen the fan-art.


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