[Film] Prometheus + Sequels

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Re: [Film] Prometheus + Sequels

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Postby silvermoonlight » Mon May 08, 2017 5:16 am

View Original PostGendo'sPapa wrote: In other news, Neill Blomkamp's horrible sounding Alien:Retcon where a hot 20 year old Newt - to be cast with "a Jennifer Lawrence type" played by Jennifer Lawrence - takes over the franchise & relegates Sigourney Weaver's Ripley to a very minor supporting role is still dead. From what I've been told the movie had all the usual Blomkamp faults which include but weren't limited to: tonal whiplash, shallow characters, bastardizations of important contemporary political issues but warped through a 12-year-olds mindset where the only answer to all social misunderstandings is GUNS, Ripley-In-Name-Only, Michael Biehn mansplaining things to Ripley & that being treated as a good thing, sexualization of Newt even though she still apparently is supposed to have the mind of a child but doesn't act like it, a lot of leftover concepts from his cancelled HALO movie adaptation & an all around subpar story. But it brings back two characters who were killed off 25 years so angry men who never grew up & are now affiliated with hate groups really want it.


Now that I've read this I am so glad that this has been panned sexualized hot Newt played by Jennifer Lawrence or some one like her (Take any young not ready actress from Game of Thrones and insert here) is not what I want at all its not what the franchise is about period and that same thinking ruined Jurassic world and Independence day 2 in my view. If people want to read about Newt they should read the dark horse graphic novels Aliens Book One and Two, Earth War and Newt's Tale which shows what happened at the base during the outbreak and how she avoided the aliens and her character is handled really well in these comics. http://www.avpgalaxy.net/characters/newt/
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Re: [Film] Prometheus + Sequels

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Postby Shinoyami65 » Mon May 08, 2017 3:23 pm

I'll probably watch it just because I want to see where the plot goes and to form my own opinion on it, but it doesn't seem like it's going to be anything special from what viewers and reviewers have said. It doesn't seem to be as terrifying as the first film and it doesn't seem to do much to flesh out the philosophical themes that were vaguely raised in Prometheus.
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Postby silvermoonlight » Sun May 14, 2017 6:34 am

Alien Covenant.... :facepalm:

Oh where do I begin with this train wreck...imagine you have a huge Hollywood budget you can create amazing CGI visuals and you have amazing actors and actress's. Now imagine you had them acting just like they do in a B movie like this person will die here that ones gonna get here insert a crappy villain character here just for the sake of it. Now in a B movie this works because your meant to kind of laugh at it as its tongue in cheek but in a movie that's meant to be A list its offensive and insulting to the viewer. Also xenomorphs do not work as full CG1 it takes all of the scare out off them that you get with an actor in the suite and dripping animatronics.

Okay spoiler time so don't open if you don't want to read.

SPOILER: Show
This movie is worse than Prometheus yeah I said it and yes David is the villain again as he's carried on creating aliens and he killed the space jockey race by bombing them with biological weapons that created a type of alien like creature but not full alien that's later in the movie as David uses one of the crew to create his real looking alien and its implied that he killed Elizabeth Shaw by doing the same thing as he wants to play god.

There a huge missed opportunity with the leader of the crew who is very deeply religious but that never goes further and question of morality and god are never asked. There is another massive missed opportunity with the android Walter as its shown that he is in love with Daniels characters which is a crying shame as the alien comics do go in to this issue and show that people do sometimes have full on relationships with the androids yet its a side story that's not progressed and its so sad as it could have brought up loads of moral and ethical questions.

The other thing that's annoying is the so called gay couple that everyone talked about is never shown or brought up and David plays off as a typical 80's bisexual predatory evil villain trope and he says he loved Elizabeth yet he clearly killed her because he was rejected by her and this story line makes no sense at all. As in Prometheus its never shown that he liked her romantically more that he was fascinated by her emotional reactions as he finds humanity interesting but doesn't like humans hence why he's happy to kill them. And on this closing note I'm going to say watch this when it comes to the movie channel don't pay money to see it, its just not worth it and I felt that I'd been cheated out of money when I got out of the cinema.
Last edited by silvermoonlight on Fri May 19, 2017 1:33 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Last Movie You Watched

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Postby Falcon_of_the_Sun » Sun May 14, 2017 3:31 pm

Watched Prometheus last week and Alien Covenant today.

I'd give Prometheus a shit 4/10, Covenant is around 7/10.

Nobody in their sane mind can think that Prometheus is better than Covenant. Prometheus was absolutely silly in proposing that an interstellar expedition costing a trillion dollar and clearly representing humanity's pinnacle had to have crew members whose mental instability and lack of professionalism rivalled that of a Trainspotting character.

Covenant has its faults but it's an overall decent movie. And you gotta dig the fact that the "villain's" den is the Isle of the Dead by Böcklin ^_^

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Re: [Film] Prometheus + Sequels

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Postby Falcon_of_the_Sun » Sun May 14, 2017 3:41 pm

Watched it today, had low expectations which probably helped having a good time.

It does stench of Prometheus in some ways (expensive expetidion: tick, new planet seemingly inhabitable: tick, fassbender: tick, patogen: tick, female lead: tick, no idea about prophilaxis etc: tick), but it's an infinitely less bad movie.

I mean, I can't think how Prometheus could be taken seriously in any way with that crew, it was absolutely laughable. Any decision they took, a 5 year old would have fared better. It was a genuine insult to the intelligence of most civilised human beings.

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Re: [Film] Prometheus + Sequels

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Postby Chuckman » Sun May 14, 2017 6:07 pm

I think they should make a movie where a facehugger facehugs a whale's blowhole and it makes a giant whalien.

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Re: [Film] Prometheus + Sequels

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Postby Chuckman » Thu May 18, 2017 11:38 pm

I'm sitting in the car outside the theater.

Wow that was not good, at all.

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Re: [Film] Prometheus + Sequels

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Postby Bagheera » Fri May 19, 2017 1:37 am

View Original PostChuckman wrote:I'm sitting in the car outside the theater.

Wow that was not good, at all.


Okay Chuck, what have you done recently to warrant punishing yourself in this fashion? Talk to old Bags here, we'll work something out before you do something more drastic.

( :wink: Kidding, but look on the bright side -- at least you didn't waste part of your weekend seeing it!)
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Re: [Film] Prometheus + Sequels

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Postby BobBQ » Fri May 19, 2017 10:49 am

View Original PostChuckman wrote:Wow that was not good, at all.

Well, go on.

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Re: [Film] Prometheus + Sequels

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Postby Gendo'sPapa » Fri May 19, 2017 11:58 am

I mean all you guys saying ALIEN: COVENANT is not good are phenomenally wrong but everyone is entitled to their opinion.
I'll take Ridley Scott's wild & weird pure sci-fi epics over tired by-the-numbers Marvel movies any day of the week.
The flute scene between David & Walter wonderfully thrilled me.
Bring on Part 3 of The David Anthology!

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Re: [Film] Prometheus + Sequels

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Postby Chuckman » Fri May 19, 2017 2:34 pm

View Original PostBobBQ wrote:Well, go on.


SPOILER: Show
Okay:

I don't know where to start.

First: The plot is nonsensical. There's a colony ship headed to a remote planet to terraform and colonize it. Everyone is in hypersleep, with an android, Walter (portrayed by Sexy Magneto) operating/maintaining the ship. Due to a solar storm or something, the ship is damaged and the crew must wake up. The captain burns to death in his pod before he can be pulled out.

This is where it gets silly. During the repair process, Danny McBride receives a transmission in his spacesuit. After they reel him in they somehow find out that its' coming from an uncharted planet, and this magical spaceship that's low tech except when it has magic Star Trek scanners, determines that this planet is habitable and has vegetation and water and is perfect for human life in complete defiance of the laws of physics without any explanation. Ordinarily I'd let this pass except that the planet they're actually supposed to be heading to can't be scanned this way and some of the dialogue implies that they're looking for it?

So, the new captain decides to visit this planet, over the completely logical objections of his second in command, because he's religious. His unspecified faith motivates him... somehow. It's never explained and he has so little screen time in the movie that his character is never established.

That's part of the problem: This film is so stuffed with plot events that nothing has room to breathe and despite an interminable half-hour or so prologue first act, none of the characters are established. Like all bad movie characters, they can only be described by what they do or wear rather than who they are. There's the smart second in command, the botanist, the pilot who wears a quirky hat, etc. By contrast Prometheus had much clearer character development and actual conflict between the human characters and had something interesting going on, but I digress.

The ship flies to the alien planet where the signal originates.

Now I need to point a something out:

This colonization vessel, which cannot itself land on the planet's surface and is purely orbital, has ONE drop ship that can fly back and forth between the surface and the mothership. For a vessel that's supposed to carry a colony of people on a one-way trip that takes decades I can't emphasize how idiotic and contrived this is. If their ship crashes or breaks down or doesn't work, they're stuck in space with what, parachutes? To make this doubly glaring, several other systems/resources are redundant so there's no justification for this at all.

The take their only ship down to this uncharted and unknown planet which is covered in alien life with absolutely no concern for the possibility of infection, etc. They park their ship and get out, leaving the gate open, and wander around in clothes. Their only protection from the alien environment is fucking hats.

Here's the thing: These people are completely unprepared to explore. They don't have protective gear, mapping equipment, anything. There's nothing they can really accomplish on this planet other than send its location back for something else, and unlike the other Alien franchise movies there's no discussion of a profit motive, i.e. we get paid X for finding this, they do it for... the wonder, I guess, or because they're afraid they might have to take minutes to fix a broken cable a few more times before they get where they're going. (The damage I mentioned earlier amounts to a big wire snapping. That's pretty much it)

The second in command is absolutely right and they shouldn't be doing this. They don't even have the gear!

So of course, two of the crew get infected with something within ten minutes. These are the backburster aliens from the trailers. As in Prometheus, the black mutagen produces these monsters that attack the crew.

This is where it starts getting stupid. A moron on the drop ship accidentally blows up the entire thing by shooting a space propane tank (the cargo hold/docking ramp area of the drop-ship is filled with a bunch of crap that has no reason to be there other than to explode) and strands the crew on the surface. The aliens, which are sensitive to bright lights for some reason, are driven off by David (also by Sexy Magneto, reprising his role from Prometheus) who launches flares for this purpose. How he knows this will work is never explained.

David leads the crew (including Walter, his doppleganger) to an engineer city. I guess this planet is the Engineer homeworld... except they apparently only had one city on the entire planet with a few hundred people.

Upon arriving:

- The crew splits up. One (female, of course) crew member who isn't even named wanders a good distance from the rest of the crew and sets up in... a bathroom... so she can do her hair?
- David acts oddly, so the crew sends Walter to talk to him. They don't talk about anything important, Walter doesn't ask any relevant questions, and their action consists of a campy homoerotic flute lesson so absurd it made the entire audience break out in laughter in my theater
- Everyone else just sort of wanders around while a couple of crew members try to contact the mothership
-The captain doesn't give any orders and no one listens to him or asks him what to do
- the cast members who aren't doing plot things disappear into the plot dimension when they're not needed to talk or be murdered

In one of the most moronic sequences in the history of film, one of the white photosensitive aliens (which is not the "protomorph", by the way) sneaks up behind the lone woman who's off doing her space makeup for some reason and rapemurders her. This leads to an absurd scene where the captain guy is having a conversation with David, who is trying to communicate with this creature while a woman's severed head floats in a sink behind it.

Instead of letting David tame the alien, the captain man shoots and kills it with two bullets to the chest, which is the only time in the entire movie that guns are in any way effective against the aliens. Subsequently, the captain follows David, who he does not trust and blames for the murder of a member of his crew, down a scary cave and David talks him into sticking his face into an alien egg. The entire scene -which includes David telling him, and I quote directly, "it's perfectly safe", drew a wave of laughter from the audience. If this was supposed to be serious it was a complete failure, and if it's supposed to be funny it's awkward and uncomfortable.

The inevitable happens, and the captain is chestbursted. His last words are not "what happened to me" or "oh this hurts" or "why are you doing this" or anything else; the captain is so solely concerned with faith that he asks what David believes before the alien spawn rips him apart, followed by an (unintentionally, I think) hilarious scene where David plays jazz hands with the cute little alien baby.

While the alien protomorph has enough time to grow to be nine feet tall off screen in about five minutes, David tracks down the protagonist so she can emote about the horror of discovering that David lied to the crew and he murdered Elizabeth Shaw- brutally, and horrifically, using her as a test subject. He also murdered the entire Engineer race and he's the bad guy. He's been experimenting, using the black mutagen to create the alien creatures.

After this revelation, and throwing her around the room a bit (literally) he pins her to a table and forcibly makes out with her.

Blah blah some shit happens, another guy gets exposed to a facehugger, and the mothership sends down some kind of power lifter (which is able to fly... in space...) to rescue the remaining crew. Walter the android dispatches David off screen, there's a tense but completely illlogical and unnecessary battle to kill the protomporh, and everyone goes home.

Then, these idiots get themselves killed through their idiocy: The other guy who was facehugged chestbursts and the alien grows to full size in what has to be less than ten minutes, breaks into the crew quarters, and interrupts shower sex to kill the shower sexees.

Blah blah, they flush it into space.

Turns out, surprise! Walter was killed and replaced by David, who now has a ship full of humans to experiment on with the mutagen.

What I realized after watching this film was this:

There is a rape undertone throughout the movie. David is apparently incapable of sexual congress so he uses the black mutagen to rape people and regards the resulting monsters as his children. There's a distinct sexual undertone to his interactions with his doppleganger Walter and the protagonist Daniels and a very strong imagery of violation with the corpse of Shaw.

What I read in this movie, mostly, is frustration. The whole mess is a reaction to the criticisms of Prometheus. The face hugger scene in particular seems to say: You keep sticking your face in my movies, what do you think you're going to get? The film itself is a screed against creation: It reads as Scott complaining about the act of creating the movie Alien. He's been defined by it, and now that he's not giving the audience exactly what they want he's a villain. His creation has mutated and become toxic.

The humans/David act as proxies for critics and the audience. The Engineers are Scott himself- pure artists concerned with form who are destroyed by someone stealing and perverting their creation.

What offends me most about this film is that it takes all the intriguing possibilities of Prometheus and shits all over them. The backstory behind the aliens isn't interesting or mysterious. The engineers are not godlike and unknowable. The xenomorphs were created by a robot who hates humans because the guy who made him was a dick, which justifies him being a psychopath and savagely torturing and experimenting on a woman who was kind and respectful towards him.

As I always say, the existence of this movie does't diminish Alien. It's still a great film. This one, however, is bad, and superfluous, and angry. Not since The Dark Knight Rises have I seen a film that gets off on subtly insulting the audience for watching it so hard.

It's a weird film. I actually liked watching it. It's beautiful. The art design is gorgeous, it's amazingly well filmed, the special effects are incredible, but they can't save an aggressively terrible script. Now that I've seen it I have no desire ever to watch it again because it has no redeeming value outside some spectacle.

Oh, and I have to mention:

These space colonists are armed with AR-15s. This movie takes place something like a hundred years from now, meaning that these people are equipped with 160 year old rifles. That would be like sending astronauts to the Moon with flintlock muskets. These things bother me.


View Original PostGendo'sPapa wrote:I mean all you guys saying ALIEN: COVENANT is not good are phenomenally wrong but everyone is entitled to their opinion.
I'll take Ridley Scott's wild & weird pure sci-fi epics over tired by-the-numbers Marvel movies any day of the week.
The flute scene between David & Walter wonderfully thrilled me.
Bring on Part 3 of The David Anthology!


Alien: Covenant isn't a science fiction movie, at all. It doesn't deal with the impact of scientific advancement or discovery on human society, culture, or life. It's an amazingly pretentious slasher movie set in outer space... lazy outer space that's exactly like Earth.

This movie has more in common with Jason X than Alien.

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Re: [Film] Prometheus + Sequels

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Postby Ray » Fri May 19, 2017 2:54 pm

^

Well that was kind've the point. The original Alien was essentially meant to be one big excuse to have a Slasher Movie set in space. You've got the standard Hollywood Slasher movie formula. A bunch of everyday ordinary people in isolation, each person of a differing personality, they accidentally awaken/unleash the monster in one way or another and they all get picked off by the Alien one by one. There's a final confrontation between the Alien and the last survivor, the survivor wins. But all of that Superimposed onto a sci-fi setting.

TLDR?
Is it better than Alien Resurrection and AVPR? Yes? I'll take it.
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Re: [Film] Prometheus + Sequels

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Postby Bagheera » Fri May 19, 2017 3:00 pm

View Original PostRay wrote:^

Well that was kind've the point. The original Alien was essentially meant to be one big excuse to have a Slasher Movie set in space. You've got the standard Hollywood Slasher movie formula. A bunch of everyday ordinary people in isolation, each person of a differing personality, they accidentally awaken/unleash the monster in one way or another and they all get picked off by the Alien one by one. There's a final confrontation between the Alien and the last survivor, the survivor wins. But all of that Superimposed onto a sci-fi setting.


Yes, and Scott did that already, 38 years ago. The reason Aliens worked was because it didn't follow the same formula as its predecessor. The reason the other sequels didn't work was because they copied one or both of them and didn't add anything new. Prometheus tried to add something new but did it very badly. And, going by Chuck's review, this one doesn't add anything new either -- it's just like the first movie, only badly done and laden with horrible superfluous stupidity that undermines the premise.

The real point here is that Jason X shouldn't be the goal. The goal should be Halloween (or, in this case, Alien), but you'll never match that goal (much less exceed it), so your only option is to do something different. Cameron caught on to this and gave us Aliens. No one else has figured it out.
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Re: [Film] Prometheus + Sequels

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Postby Chuckman » Fri May 19, 2017 3:04 pm

View Original PostRay wrote:^
Is it better than Alien Resurrection


No.

This movie is just a fractal of stupidity. The closer you look at it the dumber it becomes. Just simple stuff that gives me the feeling that Ridley had a series of images and moments he wanted in his movie and the script is just there to string them all together, so they shot the first draft- though at the same time it seems like it went through a million rewrites, because of all the inconsistent details, for example:

SPOILER: Show
The crew has detailed information on, and trained for, the planet they're traveling to initially to terraform. Yet later on, they act as if they don't know where it is- there are references to "searching for it". Also, the need detailed surveys and information to be provided for them about their initial destination -apparently sent by explorers who serve a non-colonization function- but they also have scanners on the ship that can defy the laws of physics (information cannot travel faster than the speed of light in the physical universe under any circumstances) to create a detailed hologram of a planet no one knows about and has never been charted, down to the surface topography and the presence of vegetation.

It feels like a bunch of scripts mashed together, or one rough draft script that was made up as they went along and not checked for inconsistencies.

The movie also comes across as really desperate to refuse anything that James Cameron added to the mythology. Ridley wants to make it his own, but his ideas are boring, convoluted, and ultimately uninteresting and lacking imagination.
Last edited by Chuckman on Fri May 19, 2017 3:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: [Film] Prometheus + Sequels

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Postby Gendo'sPapa » Fri May 19, 2017 3:10 pm

Best since Aliens. And I love Alien3 & Resurrection.
But if you go into the movie expecting Aliens you'll be disappointed. It's a curious & wonderfully fresh new vision from a filmmaker while still playing around in the sandbox he originally created. And it takes risks that I loved. . And like Rebuild of Evangelion it's a new vision you're either in on or not.
I'm not going to engage in 10,000 word diatribes about it online. It's a fascinating & wonderfully weird movie that works phenomenally from start to finish. Again my opinion.

Key thing to note though is this is (like Prometheus) internationally a very divisive picture. You're either in on it or you jump ship pretty early. There's very little middle ground.

Either way, I love the movie. That's my two cents. Im all on board with Ridley Scott's continual interest in the joys & pains of creating life. I'll take it over the next Avengers or Star Wars any day.

Ps. Watch the movie before you start pontificating about it.

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Re: [Film] Prometheus + Sequels

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Postby Chuckman » Fri May 19, 2017 3:12 pm

It is a weird movie, but it's bad weird not good weird.

There's a vast gulf between "this is strange and it makes me think" and "this is weird why is any of this happening why would he do that" and this film is squarely in the latter place.

I've said, over and over, that I put the wiling in the willing suspension of disbelief and I'm ready to go along with almost any film, and I can enjoy almost any movie.

This one doesn't allow the suspension of disbelief because it keeps reminding me that I've suspending my disbelief. It's like it's challenging me to recognize that I'm watching a movie so I can't get lost in the story.

I though the complaints of stupid characters in Prometheus were nitpicks- in this film it was aggressive. It goes way beyond running in a straight line in a flight-or-fight panic to characters actively trying to get themselves killed.

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Re: [Film] Prometheus + Sequels

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Postby TheFriskyIan » Sat May 20, 2017 10:11 am

View Original PostChuckman wrote:I though the complaints of stupid characters in Prometheus were nitpicks

They were. And chances are they're going to nitpick this one just because they hated Prometheus and they want to hate this one too, like a lot of the people on the other end of the divisive camp this movie has supposedly made. I really wish people would stop lashing out against movies that aren't cookie cutter formulas and makes them think. Resurrection is still the shittiest movie in the series and Prometheus IS a good movie.

Instead of continuously saying this movie insults your intelligence how about actually pointing out all the flaws and why? It's the same problem haters have with Prometheus. They complain about """flaws""" in the movie and when someone brings up why it's not a flaw, they either ignore it or they pretend it isn't true.
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Re: [Film] Prometheus + Sequels

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Postby Bagheera » Sat May 20, 2017 11:43 am

^Of course, the flip side to that runs something like this: Prometheus fanboys are unwilling or unable to see the flaws in their beloved movie, and they dismiss any and all criticism leveled at it no matter how legitimate or well-supported. They've decided the movie is the greatest thing ever and simply can't handle the notion that they might be wrong!
Last edited by Bagheera on Sat May 20, 2017 3:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: [Film] Prometheus + Sequels

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Postby Chuckman » Sat May 20, 2017 12:14 pm

View Original PostTheFriskyIan wrote:They were. And chances are they're going to nitpick this one just because they hated Prometheus and they want to hate this one too, like a lot of the people on the other end of the divisive camp this movie has supposedly made. I really wish people would stop lashing out against movies that aren't cookie cutter formulas and makes them think. Resurrection is still the shittiest movie in the series and Prometheus IS a good movie.

Instead of continuously saying this movie insults your intelligence how about actually pointing out all the flaws and why? It's the same problem haters have with Prometheus. They complain about """flaws""" in the movie and when someone brings up why it's not a flaw, they either ignore it or they pretend it isn't true.


I did, but I'll lay them out in general non spoiler terms:

1. This film adds an explanation to the mythology for the origin of xenomoprhs that is both nonsensical and stupid

2. The film is so riddled with slasher movie cliches that it hovers in a uncomfortable space between earnest and camp where it's not clear what the intention was

3. The script bounces from set piece to set piece and feels like a slapdash afterthought to justify the visuals

4. The film's theme is basically "humans suck" but said in a bland and uninteresting way

5. There's a lot of half baked themes and sophomoric high school level references to classic literature l

6. The film violates its own visual continuity to pull off a shocking twist that's telegraphed so hard through the entire thing and doesn't come off as a shock at all

7. The science fiction elements are poorly thought out and lazy and lack the internal context consistency required for verisimilitude

8. The characters are bland archetypes who make absurd leaps or illogical and unreasonable decisions and generally act like characters in an 80's slasher movie

9. The lovecraftian horror of space is presented here as through the lens of a fourteen year old boy who misses the existential despair thing and thinks it's all about the rape tentacles

10. The movie has an undercurrent about religion but it has nothing to actually say about it and it feels like a random aside more than anything

As best summed up by another review, not mine (paraphrasing): Alien Covenant is the Force Awakens of the Alien franchise. It's an unimaginative retread of a much better movie. Some people will hate it right away, most will enjoy the popcorn horror movie and move on, and some people will think about it on their way home from the theater after the pretty images can longer distract them and realize all the really dumb things they just saw.

Ridley Scott should just stop doing this. Prometheus was okay and would have been markedly better if the Alien connections were removed entirely. Let Alien go, man.

Personally I love his historical epics and I wish he'd do more of them.

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Re: [Film] Prometheus + Sequels

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Postby Reichu » Sat May 20, 2017 3:20 pm

View Original PostTheFriskyIan wrote:I really wish people would stop lashing out against movies that aren't cookie cutter formulas and makes them think.

I fully embrace movies that don't follow cookie cutter formulas and make me think. But that doesn't mean every attempt will be of equal quality. Prometheus has a sound concept (hard to go wrong with the At the Mountains of Madness premise), fantastic visuals and music, and some incredible acting (Mr. Fassbender). There are some really excellent sequences, as well. But there are definite flaws that get in the way of the film's potential greatness, mostly in characterization and dialogue. The mysteries are fine, it doesn't matter whether or not answers are spoon-fed to anyone. It does matter, though, that the dialogue is so often cringe-inducingly terrible, and the characterization so regularly sophomoric in its execution, that the best character in the film is the one who actually benefits from the script's inability to portray realistic people.
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