Sebastian Cabot wrote:
None of that makes her a narcissist. In fact, it's the very antithesis of the term -- she's created a shell she doesn't actually believe
out of self-preservation. She doesn't
believe her own hype. You can't be a narcissist if you hate yourself and think you're junk.
An idealised narcissist would be someone who has genuine love for themselves, vain beyond all comprehension with no understanding of love; they're really arrogant and just brag all day long. A real life narcissist however is usually far more complex; someone who is very sensitive to criticism, cannot handle their own flaws and lash out when the image becomes scratched or dented; even at themselves. They attempt to hide their flaws to the point they are no longer visible. You can be a narcissist and be aware of that fact, it's not a paradox to be aware of your own behaviour.
Just because you know you're hiding your flaws and pretending they didn't exist doesn't mean you'll cease to do so. Infact, being aware of such behaviour would only serve to make you more apt at accomplishing this.
You can even find narcissistic pleasure in your own worthlessness. How no one can comprehend how you feel, what you've had to endure.
Narcissists are often self pitying. They start by lashing out and tearing everyone else down, setting themselves above them. When there is nowhere left to run they rip themselves to shreds for not being capable enough, attractive enough, being useless and not being intelligent enough to prevent this. Instead of admitting other people are better than them they'll feel they themselves are exceptionally vile - yet somehow still superior to all others.
A narcissist is very capable of hating themselves, they're not some Freudian caricature of a jock that flexes in the mirror and talks about all the babes he's had.
Asuka believes herself to be better than everyone, she is capable and talented; she brags about being the most popular girl in school and how others should be privileged to have her presence grace them. She's constantly conscious of how other people view her, When that image is shattered she goes on to how lowly she thinks of herself. It's never about other people.
For Asuka, feeling second best only serves to hurt. She simply cannot accept anyone being better than her, this is evident from all the moaning and sarcasm about the "great hero Shinji". It only makes her happy when he slips up.
As for the histrionic thing, well, histrionic itself seems wholly redundant. If a man were to exhibit the same behaviour, almost any psychiatrist would label him as a narcissist. You can't even read about Histrionic Personality Disorder without narcissism cropping up; it's essentially a female variant of a narcissist who uses sexual allure as a means to garner attention - in a nutshell. Asuka doesn't use sex for attention, she uses sex as a means to validate an image of herself in her own mind
. The "woman" Asuka.
Not to mention she's not even overtly sexual. Instead of enjoying praise that may have come her way and flirting when her skirt blew up, she slapped Toji and noted it was the viewing price. Though she did add that it was "a small charge" hinting at how highly she thinks of herself (narcissism) but she didn't want him to look either way (histrionic).
Histrionics are also noted for being especially nice to figures of authority and in power. Asuka very often questions Misato - to my recollection.