[Fic] Shin Sekai EVANGALIEN: The First Five Chapters

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Postby NAveryW » Sun Jan 13, 2008 2:34 pm

TheAyanamiOtaku wrote:I hope you're not talking about that murderous supercomputer from Resident Evil...more "pop" culture, NAveryW? :D
Actually, I was thinking of the Red Queen phenomenon of evolutionary theory.

Or should I save talking about this sort of thing for EVANGALIEN Chronicle?
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Postby TheAyanamiOtaku » Sun Jan 13, 2008 7:25 pm

Oh, THAT Red Queen...ahhhh I get it (I think). The gamble that may give an edge over the/a competitor?
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Postby UrsusArctos » Sun Jan 13, 2008 7:54 pm

It's the one where you have to keep running to stay in the same place. Essentially, keep evolving so that your survival position remains the same. I recall this one from Crichton's Lost World, where they were talking about the dinosaurs on the island and evolution in general.

How about a little softening up the beachhead? When things go crazy, species survive, but they die out when things get back to normal? No, wait, instrumentality is on the way...yes, the Xenomorphs will soften up the beachhead pretty nicely.
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Postby NAveryW » Sun Jan 13, 2008 8:23 pm

UrsusArctos wrote:I recall this one from Crichton's Lost World, where they were talking about the dinosaurs on the island and evolution in general.
That's where I first found out about it too, way back when I was in second grade I think.
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Postby UrsusArctos » Sun Jan 13, 2008 8:27 pm

You actually tried reading it in second grade? Did you actually understand all that way back then or did somebody explain it to you? I was okay with that by grades six and seven (when I was 10 to 11 years old)
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Postby TheAyanamiOtaku » Sun Jan 13, 2008 8:44 pm

I remember reading The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison when I was in kindergarten and then asking the nearest adults for the adult parts of them or confusing parts. There is nothing wrong reading novels intended for adults to be read by very young children. It matures them much faster, and gives them a darker, more depressing view of the world, which is inevitable in every child as they age. WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE... 8)

lol sorry about that...I guess all of this Finals-Studying is going to my head...guess I've been lazy all my AHHH ANYWAYS LETS HEAR YOUR EXPERIENCES!
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Postby NAveryW » Mon Jan 14, 2008 12:09 am

UrsusArctos wrote:Did you actually understand all that way back then rr did somebody explain it to you?
I don't remember having a problem with it or needing someone to explain it to me. I've always been a mild prodigy; one of my father's favorite stories about me is talking about the parts of an atom to someone fixing up our house when I was four years old. TLW was probably rather wordy for most eight-year-olds (one memory I have of the book is that they don't actually arrive on the island until over halfway through it!), but my tastes were all over the place. In sixth grade, I loved Timeline as well as Captain Underpants.

However, re-reading The Lost World now, I probably would get more out of it than I initially did. I may read it again, as I haven't done so in years. Crichton is one of my favorite writers. NEXT was the best book that involved a transgenic talking chimpanzee I have ever read.
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Re: Shin Sekai EVANGALIEN: First Four Chapters

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Postby NAveryW » Tue Jan 15, 2008 4:13 pm

I finally feel now like the story is actually starting.



Neon Phthora EVANGALIEN

“It's over,” Makoto sighed. “We've lost control of the MAGI.”

Fuyutsuki hung his head. Murmuring was heard from various people across the command room. Maya trembled visibly. Everyone knew silently that, whatever happened next, it would not be good.

Across the facility, doors unlocked and slid open. One after another, all screen displays went blank and the holograms disappeared.

EPISODE 27**: せいぜい残り少ない命を、大切にしたまえ / RED QUEEN'S GAMBIT

With nowhere to go, Gendo turned around and faced his aggressors. At least three of the creatures were rapidly advancing toward him.

I can't believe those bastards actually let some of these things live.

Gendo could no longer hold back his countenance and an expression of unbridled fear overtook his flawless poker face. The closest of them was now within three feet of him and showed no sign of slowing down.

CLANG! An unearthly screech and fervent scratching against orange, concentric hexagons. Gendo was being protected by an AT Field. The other two of the creatures had arrived and were now joining the violent clawing and screaming. Gendo finally brought himself to look away, and confirmed what he had suspected.

“R... Rei... Thank you.”

She did not respond.

Gendo could now get a clear view of the creatures. They were whitish, with elongated, domed heads. The largest of the three (he was pretty sure it was the first one to charge at him) had a ridged skull. The tips of their long, serpentine tails clashed against the barrier; they seemed to be using their tails more than their claws.

It was doubtless that these creatures were being spawned by Lilith. But the original--?

Shinji.

The elevator door opened. Gendo rushed to it and started fervently pressing buttons, but the machine did not respond. He looked back to Rei, who was still standing motionless, focusing on the monsters.

She was floating approximately half a foot above the ground.

“Rei! Get us out of here!”

“Yes, commander.”

The hexagonal pattern disappeared. The monsters stumbled forward momentarily in surprise, but quickly regained composure and advanced swiftly.

Gendo felt himself rapidly whisked upward. He looked at Rei, who was floating beside him. They were passing through the several layers that had been penetrated by Tabris a few days earlier.

He could surmise SEELE's plan. They sent the Fifth fully intending for him to die, or perhaps only with the intention of killing him if he were to disobey their wishes. One of the creatures, a larval queen, was implanted within him, to be released within NERV Headquarters at a time when it would not be easy to kill. Everyone at NERV would be killed, and SEELE could then take the Evangelions without opposition.

But Unit 01 was already gone. Had they taken her? If they could do so completely undetected, why did they need to incapacitate NERV at all, and why did they need to use...

Either way, the important thing was that they had not yet left Terminal Dogma. If, as Gendo suspected, NERV was now completely under SEELE's control, there would be no way to stop them. The only chance he had to escape total annihilation was to initiate his Instrumentality before they could complete theirs. But Lilith was back down in Terminal Dogma, and was now being used as the creatures' method of propogation. Her genetic makeup had clearly been changed as well. Could she even be used anymore?

He and Rei reached the top. All the gates were completely open. Various workers were scrambling around without any purpose Gendo could perceive.

***

Misato's car screeched to a halt. Unit 01 was curled on the ground in a fetal position. Misato exited the car and yelled to Shinji, waving her arms, trying to get in the center of the giant's vision.

“Misato-san?” Shinji's amplified voice echoed.

“Shinji-kun, what are you doing inside Unit 01?!”

“I... I'm not sure. I sensed my mother calling me, so I climbed inside...”

“How the hell did you get past NERV's security?”

“There was... Nobody there. There was nobody anywhere.”

Misato tried to sound calm. “You need to go back to NERV. The Evas aren't just-”

“Where were you, Misato?” The boy inside was crying. “You weren't at home, you weren't at NERV... I thought you were supposed to be my guardian!”

Misato's answer was drowned out by the sound of nine large carrier jets that seemed to be approaching their location. They appeared to be holding... Evangelions? Why? NERV had not informed her of other Evangelions arriving. And, according to Shinji, NERV was completely vacant. Misato couldn't understand what was happening, but it was definitely something bad.

***

Asuka awoke in the hospital bed. She was still attached to an IV and various machines, but none of them were on and nobody was present. Her door was open. She could hear frantic voices somewhere further down the building. She closed her eyes.


NEXT EPISODE PREVIEW

The scourge growing under NERV finally makes its way up and all hell breaks loose! Gendo rushes to reunite with Yui amidst unsurpassed despair and turmoil! Remember how last time I said that Shinji would face against the Mass Produced Evas during this chapter? That actually happens next time on Neon Phthora EVANGALIEN, EPISODE 28**: The Dead Past!
Last edited by NAveryW on Thu Jan 24, 2008 8:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby UrsusArctos » Tue Jan 15, 2008 7:53 pm

[Ikari] Impressive. [/Ikari]
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Postby Sailor Star Dust » Tue Jan 15, 2008 8:10 pm

[Gendou] Good Work, NAveryW. [/Gendou]

(Sorry, UrsusArctos, Gendou is too much fun! ^_^)

Seriously though, I love your writing style NAW-kun. Interesting how Rei didn't backstab Gendou yet, but I guess she doesn't have a reason to at the moment.

By the way: Have Asuka AND Shinji fight the MP Eva Series together, or I'll fornicate YOU with a lightning rod! :twisted: (Don't ask, PM reference.)
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Postby NAveryW » Tue Jan 15, 2008 8:21 pm

Sailor Star Dust wrote:Have Asuka AND Shinji fight the MP Eva Series together, or I'll fornicate YOU with a lightning rod!
That isn't in my story outline... >_>

Sigh... BBL, looks like I'm buying a very large amount of lubricant. :(


/The actual quote mentioned an iron rod, not lightning rod.
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Postby Anti-Goth » Mon Jan 28, 2008 11:20 am

BUMP

Need...next...chapter...

*twitch*

C'mon Avery. Tell me you're working on it.
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Re: Shin Sekai EVANGALIEN: First Four Chapters

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Postby NAveryW » Sun Feb 10, 2008 7:56 pm

I apologize for the long wait. This perverse and often baffling chapter raises new and disturbing questions about stuff.



Neon Phthora EVANGALIEN

“Commander Ikari!” Kiyoshi Kaga shouted as Gendo and the First Child exited the top secret area. “Thank God you're back! The entire base has been taken over, and we can't do...” The technician stopped as Gendo rushed past him, paying no attention. The First was following him at a surprisingly fast pace. She seemed to be floating slightly above the ground. This was quite puzzling, but Kiyoshi was almost immediately distracted by a growl coming from behind him. He turned around and saw nothing.

EPISODE 28**: だきしめたい / THE DEAD PAST

The nine giants crashed to the ground, forming a circle around Unit 01, and consequently around Misato. The shaking of the earth caused her to lose her footing, but she succeeded in not falling over. Fearing the worst, she yelled back to the pilot.

“Shinji-kun! You have to stand up!”

He didn't.

“Shinji, I don't know why these Evas are here. But if it was for something good, we'd probably know about it. There's a good chance you'll have to fight.”

“I won't fight anymore.” A rather weak response for such an amplified voice. “Nothing good can come of it.”

“Then don't fight, but at least stand up!

A pause. Then, “No.”

The identical white Evangelions stood still for the time, perhaps waiting to see what Unit 01 would do before advancing. Finally, the Evangelion closest to Misato took a step forward. Its enormous foot was enough to crush her car. Thankfully, she was no longer in it.

Misato's thoughts frantically scurried for answers. Shinji hadn't told anyone he was leaving, as there was nobody at NERV. Perhaps, knowing Unit 01's power, they sent these Evangelions as a retrieval squad? But there were no other Evas at NERV, not to mention the fact that these showed a distinct disregard for humans. They had not reacted to her presence, and did not seem to care that her car was now destroyed. It was as if they had no human pilots. Did they have human pilots?

The Evangelion took another step toward Shinji. This time, the shockwave knocked Misato onto the ground. If these Evangelions had come from NERV, it would be worth calling to them. They had surely noticed her yelling if they ever would, so they at least had no intention to harm her.

***

After what she had learned, the giant, purple and green figure was easily recognizeable to Hikari Horaki as Evangelion Unit 01. Why was it curled up on the ground? That was Shinji's Evangelion, right? Was Shinji inside it? Hikari thought she had heard him. She wanted to wave to him, but her hands were no longer hers. They were now large, white, and at the control of something inside her back.

“Hey! Can you hear me?” a voice yelled from below her. She recognized it as Misato's voice, but could not turn her head to look. Instead, she continued to advance toward Shinji's Eva. When it was within reach, she grabbed one of its arms and tugged it upward. It offered no resistance, and Unit 01's upper body was lifted from the ground. Hikari's mock grin widened, and she uttered a horrible growl that she could not believe came from her own mouth. The other Evangelions began to progress toward them.

***

Shinji heard a scream from Misato's direction. He looked in her direction. When the foot lifted, he realized that her legs had been crushed.

“Misato-san!” he yelled. He felt himself being pulled higher off the ground as more of the Evas reached him, but he didn't bother resisting.

“Shinji-kun,” Misato gasped, “You need to act!”

Almost simultaneously, long, metallic blades protruded from the arms of the white Evangelions. Growing in a seemingly impossible manner, the blades shot out at Unit 01 and clashed against its armor repeatedly. Shrill blows echoed across what remained of the city, mixing with Shinji's screams to form a stridulant symphony of despair. Within a few seconds, purple chunks fell freely to the ground.

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

Purple gave way to brown. Brown gave way to red.

Come to think of it, did I even once say something nice to him?

Another unearthly bellow joined the motley as Unit 01 finally stood up. Most of her restraints were now gone, and her movement was unhindered. The gashes in her skin sealed as quickly as they were formed. The boy inside was powerless.

.................................................¿ɹǝɥʇoW

Yui grabbed two of the blades in her hands and pulled. The force was enough to yank their owners from their feet. Three of the white Evangelions grabbed onto Yui and bit down into her flesh, but were almost instantly bashed against the ground. A small red lake formed around Misato.

Is Shinji really doing this? I can't imagine him ever being so brutal...

Hikari felt a strong grasp around her neck. There was a brief, sharp pain as it was crushed and she toppled to the ground.

I don't hate you.

***

“Ikari, I'm sure you realize what has started,” Fuyutsuki said as soon as Gendo came into view.

“It's worse than we imagined,” Gendo responded. “Before Arka was destroyed, they must have saved a sample of the Kelippot.”

Fuyutsuki's eyes widened. “You don't mean...”

“Yes. They're growing inside Terminal Dogma.”

“How?! What did they use for their vessel?!”

“All I can think of is that one was indeed within Tabris. Once it escaped, it has been using Lilith to reproduce. The white giant itself is now...” Gendo sighed. “Is Unit 01 still missing?”

“Yes, and we've completely lost control of the Geofront. We have no way to search, and no way to leave headquarters.”

“The only option that remains to us is to shut down all of NERV's power manually. That will at least give us the option of escaping.”

“Commander Ikari!” Kiyoshi yelled, running to his superior. “What the hell was that thing?! First we lose power, and then this...” He pulled down his collar, showing a large bandage. “It would have killed me if Ugen-san hadn't shot it! But its blood... It's burning a hole into the floor...”

Gendo turned to face his addresser. “Was there just one of them?”

“Only one that I know of, but I didn't even see it until it was already dead.”

“How many others know of this?”

“Almost everyone, sir. It's not helping the panic.” Kiyoshi halted as he looked at the First Child. “Oh my God, she is floating!”


NEXT EPISODE PREVIEW

NERV struggles desperately to break SEELE's control, but faces their most deadly aggressor yet! Gendo searches for some way to carry out his plan to reunite with his wife, who is currently outnumbered by assailants who will not stay dead! Asuka strikes once more, but will she be able to survive against an alien enemy in a weakened state? Next time on Neon Phthora EVANGALIEN, EPISODE 29**: We Must Run Away!
"Today?... hmm... today... right... Um... I'm just gonna wing it." -Guess who

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Postby UrsusArctos » Sun Feb 10, 2008 8:24 pm

[Kaworu]NAveryW-kun, you're very late.[/Kaworu]

But interesting, nevertheless.
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The main point of idiocy is for the smart to have their lulz. Without human idiocy, trolling would not exist, and that's uncool, since a large part of my entertainment consists of mocking the absurdity and dumbassery of the world, especially the Internet.-MaggotMaster

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Postby NAveryW » Sun Feb 10, 2008 8:51 pm

A wizard is never late, nor is he early.
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Postby UrsusArctos » Sun Feb 10, 2008 8:56 pm

He comes exactly when he is needed. Yes, but you aren't exactly needed at the moment (Evil).
(Was Board Staff from Dec 31, 2007 - Oct 17, 2015 and Oct 20, 2020 - Aug 1, 2021)
Not knowing that Monk is bi is like not knowing the Pope is Catholic - ZapX
You're either really bad at interpreting jokes or really good at pretending you are and I have no idea which.-Monk Ed
WAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!(<-link to lunacy)...Taste me, if you can bear it. (Warning: Language NSFW)
The main point of idiocy is for the smart to have their lulz. Without human idiocy, trolling would not exist, and that's uncool, since a large part of my entertainment consists of mocking the absurdity and dumbassery of the world, especially the Internet.-MaggotMaster

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Postby NAveryW » Sun Feb 10, 2008 9:02 pm

NO NO YOU GOT THE QUOTE WRONG YOU INFIDEL
"Today?... hmm... today... right... Um... I'm just gonna wing it." -Guess who

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Postby UrsusArctos » Sun Feb 10, 2008 9:11 pm

Vai caravaxa rass ilya, lantuva notto-carina!!!!

Anyway, come with more of this! I like it! And I just watched the first third of Aliens. Oooh. Sugoi ne!
(Was Board Staff from Dec 31, 2007 - Oct 17, 2015 and Oct 20, 2020 - Aug 1, 2021)
Not knowing that Monk is bi is like not knowing the Pope is Catholic - ZapX
You're either really bad at interpreting jokes or really good at pretending you are and I have no idea which.-Monk Ed
WAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!(<-link to lunacy)...Taste me, if you can bear it. (Warning: Language NSFW)
The main point of idiocy is for the smart to have their lulz. Without human idiocy, trolling would not exist, and that's uncool, since a large part of my entertainment consists of mocking the absurdity and dumbassery of the world, especially the Internet.-MaggotMaster

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Postby TheAyanamiOtaku » Mon Feb 11, 2008 10:03 pm

i didn't like the overconfidant marines. you felt sorry for the characters in alien, but in aliens, you could care less about em. that's what aliens lost. but the queen scene was pretty enlightening, so i give mr. scott props for that.

hear he's going to make a fifth alien movie, centered around the alien homeworld.
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Postby NAveryW » Tue Feb 12, 2008 4:10 pm

TheAyanamiOtaku wrote:hear he's going to make a fifth alien movie, centered around the alien homeworld.
Cameron and Scott were going to work together on an Alien 5, but Fox wanted to do AvP instead. Cameron recently stated that he was no longer interested in doing another Alien film. The Brothers Strauss said that they'd definitely do a third AvP if the second one did well, but it didn't make nearly as much money as expected. Therefore, a new addition to the franchise probably isn't going to come out soon.
"Today?... hmm... today... right... Um... I'm just gonna wing it." -Guess who


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