Dealing with being thirty

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Dealing with being thirty

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Postby GAP » Thu Feb 15, 2018 5:12 am

Can anyone give some life advice on how to deal with being 30 and how to deal with the existential crisis that comes with it? I know I am still technically young but thirty is a big step and by most animu standards, I am practically an "auld phart"by this point. What advice do you have for someone who fears teh future and how do deal with life at this point?
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Re: Dealing with being thirty

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Postby pwhodges » Thu Feb 15, 2018 6:13 am

Actually it's not a big step at all; on your 30th birthday you were but one day older than the day before. So it is no more reason in itself for a crisis than becoming 18, or 21, or 25, 30, or 40, or 50 - all of which get quoted as excuses for a crisis. So you need to ignore age and simply look at yourself to see what is making you feel like this, and perhaps to try to decide whether you can get through it yourself or whether you need professional help to cope with it.

As for "auld fart", they say that you are only as old as you feel - so resist that feeling. The only thing that can ever make you an old fart is not a calendar, it's yourself!

It is perfectly rational to fear the future. It is something we do not control, and we cannot know what will come of it. However, we are able to see the changes of the past, and how most of them are less devastating than they might have seemed at the time or in anticipation, so it should be possible to take some comfort from that. Also, you have some input to the future. Even though it may feel small, your contribution can be crucial in a specific way, and in particular for you yourself. Don't give up on the future, or recoil from it - try to mould it a little bit nearer to your liking.
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Re: Dealing with being thirty

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Postby AdamMalkovitch » Thu Feb 15, 2018 11:52 am

I'm only 18, but I thought I should chime in. Midlife crises are nowhere near as common as television and movies portray it to be, in reality it's only around 7% of the population that experiences it. Besides, psychological age has to do with your mindset. As I type this, I feel much older, more mature, but most of the time, I still see myself as a child. It's all about perspective, how YOU see yourself.
I've reached a point where I just generally don't give a fuck anymore. In a good way.

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Re: Dealing with being thirty

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Postby Mr. Tines » Thu Feb 15, 2018 12:05 pm

View Original PostGAP wrote:how to deal with the existential crisis that comes with it?
Buy a Harley-Davidson.

Oh, wait, that's for 50, not 30.

I don't recall anything particular for 30; if anything, it would have been that I had finally "levelled up" as an adult. That was still at the time of high tensions between East and West -- the Soviets didn't blink until some time after -- so it wasn't as if the future was looking entirely rosy back then.

If I had to guess, I'd say much of your apprehension comes from feeling that you have not so levelled up, and don't feel in proper control of your own life. At this point, ain't nobody going to do that for you -- you just have to step up to the plate yourself. Yes, it's scary at times; but you just have to fake it until you make it.
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Re: Dealing with being thirty

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Postby The Eva Monkey » Thu Feb 15, 2018 2:42 pm

View Original PostGAP wrote:... being 30 and ... the existential crisis that comes with it?

It never goes away.

I'm still waiting to feel like an "adult".
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Re: Dealing with being thirty

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Postby pwhodges » Thu Feb 15, 2018 3:08 pm

Becoming adult...  SPOILER: Show
Image
"Being human, having your health; that's what's important." (from: Magical Shopping Arcade Abenobashi )
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Re: Dealing with being thirty

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Postby AdamMalkovitch » Thu Feb 15, 2018 3:11 pm

Oh thank fuck, I'm not the only person who still feels like a kid
I've reached a point where I just generally don't give a fuck anymore. In a good way.

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Re: Dealing with being thirty

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Postby GAP » Thu Feb 15, 2018 4:45 pm

View Original PostMr. Tines wrote:Buy a Harley-Davidson.

Oh, wait, that's for 50, not 30.

I don't recall anything particular for 30; if anything, it would have been that I had finally "levelled up" as an adult. That was still at the time of high tensions between East and West -- the Soviets didn't blink until some time after -- so it wasn't as if the future was looking entirely rosy back then.

If I had to guess, I'd say much of your apprehension comes from feeling that you have not so levelled up, and don't feel in proper control of your own life. At this point, ain't nobody going to do that for you -- you just have to step up to the plate yourself. Yes, it's scary at times; but you just have to fake it until you make it.


That is exactly my problem. I thought adulthood was going to be when I no longer feel like a kid but the older I get, the more I realized that is not true. Even adults can more childish and immature than actual children, I thought I was going to be over feeling like a confused child but I still feel confused.

The Eva Monkey wrote:It never goes away.

I'm still waiting to feel like an "adult".


Me Too.

Once I figure out what it feels like, I will share it others.
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Re: Dealing with being thirty

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Postby Gus Hanson » Thu Feb 15, 2018 5:03 pm

Funny how we talking about this since this Sunday Feb. 18th is MY birthday and I will be reaching that sweet 30 age milestone! :woohoo: :woohoo:

Sometimes I get all depressed that I haven't done much with my life but good support all around me helps calm me down always.
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Postby pwhodges » Thu Feb 15, 2018 6:02 pm

View Original PostGAP wrote:Once I figure out what it feels like, I will share it others.

As far as I can tell, feeling like an adult is little more than simply feeling like a kid less often. Maybe some people stop feeling like a kid altogether at some point in their life, but I can't claim to have quite reached that position myself.
"Being human, having your health; that's what's important." (from: Magical Shopping Arcade Abenobashi )
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Re: Dealing with being thirty

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Postby soul.assassin » Sun Mar 04, 2018 8:27 am

In these days, being 30 is the new 20, as much of 20something life has become an extension of teen life, only with less restrictions.

I am 41, and yet I still prefer to dress as much as I would if I were 21: Public Enemy or Guns N Roses t-shirt, jeans, and sneakers.

Much older people a few decades ahead of me -- whether be rock icons or wizened hackers -- aren't going for the early bird special, as the late Dennis Hopper said so: “Your generation is definitely not headed for bingo night.”

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Re: Dealing with being thirty

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Postby pwhodges » Sun Mar 04, 2018 8:53 am

I am 71, and feel not a lot different from you. (Maybe a little, because there comes a time when a degree of physical deterioration cannot be avoided, even if it is less and better managed than in the past.)
"Being human, having your health; that's what's important." (from: Magical Shopping Arcade Abenobashi )
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Re: Dealing with being thirty

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Postby chazthesilencer » Sun Mar 04, 2018 4:15 pm

View Original PostGAP wrote:Can anyone give some life advice on how to deal with being 30

Call it an odd way to look at things- but whether it be work, play or life, I just try to be professional about it.
You and I, GAP- we’re no longer naïve, but neither are we wise. Get by with what you know, and if you don’t know- act like you know.

Oh, and watch Groundhog Day if you haven’t already.

View Original PostThe Eva Monkey wrote:I'm still waiting to feel like an "adult".

View Original PostGAP wrote:Once I figure out what it feels like, I will share it others.

In a petty way- I felt really adult the day I finally beat my father:

“Son, you don’t have to floss every single day, you know.”
“How’s that toothache, Dad?”
~silence~


Only took me 30 years.
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Re: Dealing with being thirty

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Postby Quadhonk » Sat Mar 10, 2018 2:30 pm

I don't really feel anymore clever than I did in high school. A little more refined maybe? Really the closer I get to thirty the only differences I feel is that I can't sleep five hours a day anymore and still be energetic, and I can't eat whatever I want without getting fat. While the latter I was aware of I didn't expect how fast my metabolism would plummet. Over the course of one gluttonous week in Atlanta last September half my jeans don't fit. Suddenly, I have to actually pay attention to what I eat.
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Re: Dealing with being thirty

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Postby robersora » Sun Mar 11, 2018 8:00 pm

^
Oh my god. If my metabolism plummets any further, I'll become a hippie and live off of air and love. Since even water might make me fat then.

I can't even deal with being in my mid-twenties. It's like being in high-school, but you also need to pay taxes. So I'm really curious what else that age might throw at me.
Anyhow, I don't think 30 should make anyone feel worse than being 20, as long as you're working towards making your day to day life as fulfilling as possible.
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Postby FreakyFilmFan4ever » Mon Mar 12, 2018 3:09 pm

I dreaded turning 30. I wish that wasn't the case, because it kept me from fully enjoying being in my late 20's. I never dated anyone until I became 30 years old, and that only lasted about two weeks. I didn't really move out off my parent's house until I turned 30 either. I've also been living in a weird funk over the past couple years, and I've been blaming that on the dreaded "30" age. Again, I wish that wasn't the case, as my age really wasn't the issue at all. I had been dealt a terrible 1, 2, PUNCH back in 2010 - 2011 where I had a difficult time being paid from two different production companies, one of which didn't pay me until a whole year after I rendered services and another one where me and the rest of the crew and was simply being emotionally berated by the producer for a month and a half. I had grown quite distrustful of the whole filmmaking industry after that, and simply stopped looking for work in my field.

I've been doing a couple short films every few years just to keep my skills up, but have been too nervous to really look for work in my field since then. I worked some other, terrible, and abusive non-film jobs in the meantime, but for the last couple years I've finally became an optician, and am working on getting my own license in the field. It's far quieter and much less stressful, and it's a steady and consistent job. Occasionally I'll rewatch an Anno movie or a Double-Edge Film Productions movie and be reinvigorated in film again. (I've been meaning to rewatch Love & Pop for a few months now. This afternoon I'm finally gonna do it.) But beyond that I've just been getting depressed that I spent a ton of money learning a field for an industry that is relatively abusive in my neck of the woods and have since abandoned it to do my own thing. But I didn't want to put it in those words, so I just blamed the fact that I was reaching 30.

I still want to work in film. I've really been wanting to start my own production company where I can set my own rules and codes of conduct, because I really don't trust other producers anymore. And I've built capital towards that goal in the sense that I've acquired cameras and other production/post-production equipment. (Thank you, steady job as an optician!) And it's that possibility that makes me think that the light at the end of the tunnel isn't a train coming at me. I still feel existential dread sometimes, but now that I'm 30 and have realized what it's all about, I can at least properly place my existential dread and move on. It wasn't my age, it was my circumstances. And my circumstances have improved and are still improving.

In short, hang in there. It's not 30, it's you. And you can always make changes in yourself, and your friends will be there to help you be successful in that goal.

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Postby GAP » Fri Mar 30, 2018 8:42 pm

I also want to ask about the stigma of being thirty, our society praises youth and vitality but thirty is close to middle age and thirty seems almost frowned upon. How do you deal with that stigma? Or is it a thing? Growing old is inevitable as you not be able to certain things when you are younger.
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Postby Shamsiel-kun » Sat Mar 31, 2018 6:04 am

View Original PostGAP wrote:I also want to ask about the stigma of being thirty, our society praises youth and vitality but thirty is close to middle age and thirty seems almost frowned upon. How do you deal with that stigma? Or is it a thing? Growing old is inevitable as you not be able to certain things when you are younger.


Well, you see, when you've become thirty, you've officially become an unmarryable Christmas Cake who will remain single for the rest of their life, moaning non-stop at parties about how a suitable partner is hard to come by and being the laughing stock of your younger peers because you try to look and behave younger than the decrepit fossil that you actually are. The solution: Buy a sawed-off shotgun and show them who's Boss. When those young fools' blood stains the pavement, they'll finally understand they should not look down upon thirty-somethings... :mwahaha:

Oh no, wait, that's actually just an annoying anime stereotype crossed with the plot of a slasher movie, sorry, got that entirely wrong there. :bigeyes:

Just tell the ones who seriously ask you how it feels to be thirty that they'll discover when they get that old ^_^
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Re: Dealing with being thirty

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Postby Sailor Star Dust » Sat Mar 31, 2018 9:39 pm

I don't know if this is partially due to social media or what—but it feels like because so many young people in their 20's/younger naturally act young, that "acting" younger yourself (e.g. nerdy interests that are these days seemingly mainstream, such as anime or video games) doesn't really have the attached stigmas that used to be there?

I'm not really sure how else to articulate this, but that's my online observations alongside noticing public trends, so YMMV.

When it comes to "power levels" though, I tend to keep it hidden unless I'm among friends. During my college days for instance, I didn't mind wearing oversized anime t-shirts in public, but these days I want to be taken seriously due to my age so I dress "normal" when out and about.

Regarding other things: Trying to stay up past midnight these days, I feel exhausted compared to all-night gaming sessions at 25. And fried foods just make me feel sick as hell (regardless of my doing the gluten-free diet for 7 years—I think that culprit was manifested physical anxiety coupled with recovering from my poor diet in high school).

It's strange to me just how much your body can change with seemingly "little" things like this :huh: I also got my first gray hairs at 25 (hilariously/ironically enough, after moving out of a stressful living situation) and they've been slooowly creeping in ever since. I don't have any problems embracing my gray once it properly happens, but...yeah.

I thought for sure I'd feel like an "adult" during college or afterwards, but that hasn't happened yet, either. I've heard from family in their 60's that they've still waiting to "feel" like an adult, themselves :lol:

Hopefully, even a small amount of this post is helpful instead of an old woman's rambles :geezer:
~Take care of yourself, I need you~

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Re: Dealing with being thirty

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Postby chazthesilencer » Sun Apr 01, 2018 2:56 am

Sailor Star Dust wrote:I also got my first gray hairs at 25

No greys myself, but I am balding.
Mind you- the office is full of thirty-somethings with silver slivers.
It looks like everybody fell into a pit of tinsel.
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