Opinion about my idea for a fanfic

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Davizaum2810
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Opinion about my idea for a fanfic

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Postby Davizaum2810 » Tue Apr 12, 2016 6:31 pm

Guys, there's a thing that I'd love to talk about here to get some feedback from some English speaking Eva fans. It's a little thing that I have been working on, an Evangelion fanfic based on my memories of NGE that retells the story that I named Neo Genesis Evangelion. I chose this name to tell that it is something new, but at the same time, familiar due to the name being almost the same as the anime's. I did my best to make the story exciting while doing my best to not copy and paste any of the episodes so I can make the story as my own, I also tried my best to keep the depth of the narrative with ideas such as something I got from a Carl Sagan video about the Fourth Dimension and a Salvador Dali painting called Crucifixion (Corpus Hypercubus), Russel's paradox, the ideas of addiction and virtue inspired by Aristotle and Immanuel Kant, time travel, multiple future scenarios with infinite possibilities and something that I called The Tripod Approach since it is really a thing, but I just don't know its name, which consists on the idea that humanity is sustained by Rei, Shinji and Asuka as they fight against the angels and if one of them fall, all mankind falls along with the other 2 pilots, then justifying the coming of more Eva pilots due to a matter of risk. I also included a couple characters there, one of them being created by me, an American old man and war veteran that works for the UN named Kenzo Anderson and the Rebuild pilot Mari Makinami Illustrious as a character that isn't just a pair of glassed and boobs that only occupies space in the narrative. Trust me, I created a backstory for her and a purpose for her existence that goes beyond fan-service. I also made changes on the characters, being their motivations, personalities, names, etc.. I'd love to go into more details, but then this post would become enormous and completely tiresome to read. If you want to, I can say more things about it later, so please, tell me if want to know more. I'll end it all showing some names for some chapters that I have in mind and some that I already used, being references to stuff I like or that I thought that sounded cool at the time when I thought about them along with Salvador Dali's painting and the Carl Sagan's video. Please, tell me what do you think about all this. I want to make a good story, but I don't think that I can do that on my own. I'll post more things about my story for future feedback and those will be about my version of the characters.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UnURElCzGc0

Here are the names I already used
Calling From The Void
Vulgar Display of Power
Teutonic Terror

Here are the names that I may use in future chapters
Children of The Stars
The Defiants' Voyage
Yesterday's Evangelion
Equinox of The Heart
Eclipse of The Mind
Beyond the Horizon
Deuces From the Past
Exodus to Paradise
Lifetimes' Epilogue

So, what do you guys think? If you got interested, you can read it here https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11802057/1 ... Evangelion

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Last edited by Davizaum2810 on Wed Apr 13, 2016 11:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Glor
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Re: Opinion about my idea for a fanfic

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Postby Glor » Tue Apr 12, 2016 9:03 pm

Seems pretty awesome, I'll give it a more thorough read-through at some point, but from a cursory look I think adding in quotation marks for dialogue instead of dashes might make for easier reading.

Cool stuff though :asuka_thumbsup:
Amarantos - an NGE AU, beginning with Asuka, Shinji, and a garden. Take a look. Couldn't hurt.

"Anything can be Evangelion related if you have the will to twist it." -Joseki.

Davizaum2810
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Age: 31
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Location: Brazil
Gender: Male

Re: Opinion about my idea for a fanfic

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Postby Davizaum2810 » Wed Apr 13, 2016 11:12 pm

View Original PostGlor wrote:Seems pretty awesome, I'll give it a more thorough read-through at some point, but from a cursory look I think adding in quotation marks for dialogue instead of dashes might make for easier reading.

Cool stuff though :asuka_thumbsup:


Thank you so much for your opinion. I have been thinking about this story for months and dude, you have no idea of how important it is for me to get some feedback from Eva fans since I'm pretty much retelling the story of an anime that is possibly their favorite. I gave a lot of thought on that, specially on the creation of my original character, Kenzo Anderson, which I'll into more detail later ^_^

Davizaum2810
Embryo
Age: 31
Posts: 13
Joined: Apr 12, 2016
Location: Brazil
Gender: Male

Re: Opinion about my idea for a fanfic

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Postby Davizaum2810 » Wed Apr 20, 2016 9:48 pm

Maybe now I should show something about some of the characters and maybe I should start with one that is more familiar, but at the same time, despised by Eva fans in general. I'll talk about my version of Mari Makinami Illustrious. I did my best to make her more likable and actually feel like an Eva character, which it is a thing that can be a hell of a challenge. In my story, she is a genetically enhanced Eva pilot, being stronger, faster, smarter and capable of piloting any Eva with a proper plugsuit and headset due to the structural formation of her brain. Such enhancements were made as tests on her on the hope of saving her life in the name of a dying friend of my original character, Kenzo Anderson. There's a another purpose for making Mari a guinea pig for a bunch of scientists aside from saving her life. To test it in humans so Kenzo's secret group, composed by very rich businessmen called The Temple, being away from SEELE's radar due for not being connected to any government aside from some secret contacts in the UN so they can influence them through bribes, was to see if it was possible to make genetically enhanced Evas, more capable to fight the angels than NERV's. Such enhancements had their side effects on Mari, she developed Asperger's syndrome, a certain tendency for violence to the point of even wanting to kill a person just for a matter of desire for doing so and it made her need to wear glasses, but as dangerous as she may be, she tries to be a good person and also has her goofy moments here and there, even trolling the other characters and some point, personifying the idea that even with those modifications on her body, she's still human for being imperfect and doing her best to make up for her defects while also serving to relate to Rei for her desire of being considered human and for also being a result of a test from NERVs experiments with cloning that afterwards would be used to make the Evas and for Asuka, as somebody who wants to defy human nature for constantly seeking perfection. Well, I hope that at least some of you like my version of Mari, specially because of all the hate she gets due to the fact that in the Rebuild movies she is just breathing pair a tits and glasses that is addicted on the smell of LCL. Please, tell me what you think.


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