[Fic]Well I finally did it. (NSFW)

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[Fic]Well I finally did it. (NSFW)

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Postby Rommel » Sat Aug 08, 2015 10:57 am

As Bags knows, a PP sequel has been sitting around my computer for a while. I finally got tired of letting it lay about, doing nothing all day besides eat my food and drink my beer.

So here it is:

http://anime.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600055178

As always, this is a lemon. Expect naughty business.

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Postby ChaddyManPrime » Sat Aug 08, 2015 12:16 pm

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I have a feeling this is gonna be Cracking the Whip but with Asuka instead of Shinji. Is this also the baby one? If so, don't let the baby get anywhere near vacuums or blenders.
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Postby Rommel » Sat Aug 08, 2015 1:07 pm

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no baby. I didn't feel like dealing with the lynch mob. Cracking the whip is a little extreme for what I want to do. this isn't about breaking Asuka or anything like that.

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Postby Bagheera » Sat Aug 08, 2015 2:03 pm

Ah, good, progress! I'll have to dig into this tonight.
For my post-3I fic, go here.
The law doesn't protect people. People protect the law. -- Akane Tsunemori, Psycho-Pass
People's deaths are to be mourned. The ability to save people should be celebrated. Life itself should be exalted. -- Volken Macmani, Tatakau Shisho: The Book of Bantorra
I hate myself. But maybe I can learn to love myself. Maybe it's okay for me to be here! That's right! I'm me, nothing more, nothing less! I'm me. I want to be me! I want to be here! And it's okay for me to be here! -- Shinji Ikari, Neon Genesis Evangelion
Yes, I know. You thought it would be something about Asuka. You're such idiots.

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Postby BlueBasilisk » Sat Aug 08, 2015 5:12 pm

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You had me at MisatoXAsuka! :lol:

But I like that it addressed some of the "questionable" stuff in the original Power Plays but didn't dwell on it for long. The development of the Shinji/Asuka and Misato/Asuka relationships was really nice, showing that they do care about each other as people and not just objects. Asuka definitely needed to hear that.

If you decide to continue, I'll definitely follow along!

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Postby NemZ » Sat Aug 08, 2015 6:37 pm

My one complaint is that Misato really should have included Shinji in this contract business. Made Asuka read the terms aloud to Shinji over the phone perhaps, confirmed that he also agreed to this amendment to the status quo. Not doing so really undermines his position of authority within the dynamic as well as potentially crossing a line for him.
Rest In Peace ~ 1978 - 2017
"I'd consider myself a realist, alright? but in philosophical terms I'm what's called a pessimist. It means I'm bad at parties." - Rust Cohle
"Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize that half of 'em are stupider than that." - George Carlin
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Postby Rommel » Sat Aug 08, 2015 7:08 pm

View Original PostNemZ wrote:My one complaint is that Misato really should have included Shinji in this contract business. Made Asuka read the terms aloud to Shinji over the phone perhaps, confirmed that he also agreed to this amendment to the status quo. Not doing so really undermines his position of authority within the dynamic as well as potentially crossing a line for him.


Something will happen with that when he returns, but she could hardly call him in the middle of the night. It was also somewhat of a spurt of the moment thing.

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Postby Bagheera » Sat Aug 08, 2015 7:31 pm

View Original PostRommel wrote:Something will happen with that when he returns, but she could hardly call him in the middle of the night. It was also somewhat of a spurt of the moment thing.


I like it, actually; Misato's relationship with Asuka is a separate affair, and has nothing to do with the latter's relationship with Shinji. Handling them separately is the right way to go. It will be interesting to see how the three interact, but so long as Asuka is being straightforward with both Misato and Shinji I see no reason why she needs permission for either relationship.
For my post-3I fic, go here.
The law doesn't protect people. People protect the law. -- Akane Tsunemori, Psycho-Pass
People's deaths are to be mourned. The ability to save people should be celebrated. Life itself should be exalted. -- Volken Macmani, Tatakau Shisho: The Book of Bantorra
I hate myself. But maybe I can learn to love myself. Maybe it's okay for me to be here! That's right! I'm me, nothing more, nothing less! I'm me. I want to be me! I want to be here! And it's okay for me to be here! -- Shinji Ikari, Neon Genesis Evangelion
Yes, I know. You thought it would be something about Asuka. You're such idiots.

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Postby NemZ » Sat Aug 08, 2015 7:59 pm

Perhaps because there was a stated expectation of exclusive commitment between them save for mutually-involved and consenting circumstances? Or because Asuka made it clear she would not be happy if he strayed while he was gone but apparently has no compunction doing so herself?

Asuka is not being an ethical slut here, and Misato is out of bounds for making such changes to the relationship without considering all involved parties, both as a lover and as their guardian. All these relationships have to be built on trust; indeed that's the whole point, and these actions break that trust. I expect Shinji to be justifiably upset about this when he returns unless he has guilty conscience of his own or unless they keep it secret, and in both cases that's an even bigger problem.

...but that doesn't mean it doesn't make for a compelling story. Fiction needs conflict afterall, and a good story enhances the smut.
Rest In Peace ~ 1978 - 2017
"I'd consider myself a realist, alright? but in philosophical terms I'm what's called a pessimist. It means I'm bad at parties." - Rust Cohle
"Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize that half of 'em are stupider than that." - George Carlin
"The internet: It's like a training camp for never amounting to anything." - Oglaf
"I think internet message boards and the like are dangerous." - Anno

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Postby Bagheera » Sat Aug 08, 2015 8:17 pm

I don't know about that. Shinji brought Misato in to the relationship, after all, and what she's doing here is just building on what was already there. If this makes Asuka a more stable, secure person Shinji will only benefit in the end. And of course, it's not like Shinji doesn't know what's going on. The vibe between Misato and Asuka has been there as long as this story has existed, and Shinji's been aware of it for the duration. Now it's just playing out as it should, and Shinji will roll with that just as he has with everything else.
For my post-3I fic, go here.
The law doesn't protect people. People protect the law. -- Akane Tsunemori, Psycho-Pass
People's deaths are to be mourned. The ability to save people should be celebrated. Life itself should be exalted. -- Volken Macmani, Tatakau Shisho: The Book of Bantorra
I hate myself. But maybe I can learn to love myself. Maybe it's okay for me to be here! That's right! I'm me, nothing more, nothing less! I'm me. I want to be me! I want to be here! And it's okay for me to be here! -- Shinji Ikari, Neon Genesis Evangelion
Yes, I know. You thought it would be something about Asuka. You're such idiots.

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Postby NemZ » Sat Aug 08, 2015 8:21 pm

Sure Bags, a BDSM story were people just assume consent and take each other for granted... what could possibly go wrong there?
Rest In Peace ~ 1978 - 2017
"I'd consider myself a realist, alright? but in philosophical terms I'm what's called a pessimist. It means I'm bad at parties." - Rust Cohle
"Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize that half of 'em are stupider than that." - George Carlin
"The internet: It's like a training camp for never amounting to anything." - Oglaf
"I think internet message boards and the like are dangerous." - Anno

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Postby Bagheera » Sat Aug 08, 2015 8:23 pm

That . . . doesn't match up with what I said at all. What are you on about?
For my post-3I fic, go here.
The law doesn't protect people. People protect the law. -- Akane Tsunemori, Psycho-Pass
People's deaths are to be mourned. The ability to save people should be celebrated. Life itself should be exalted. -- Volken Macmani, Tatakau Shisho: The Book of Bantorra
I hate myself. But maybe I can learn to love myself. Maybe it's okay for me to be here! That's right! I'm me, nothing more, nothing less! I'm me. I want to be me! I want to be here! And it's okay for me to be here! -- Shinji Ikari, Neon Genesis Evangelion
Yes, I know. You thought it would be something about Asuka. You're such idiots.

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Postby NemZ » Sat Aug 08, 2015 8:59 pm

The same thing I've been on about the whole time. We don't need to talk to Shinji. Shinji probably already knows. Shinji will just roll with it, right? All of that takes him for granted and breaks the trust required of such an arrangement. It changes the dynamic because now he's necessarily going to be the 'lesser master' because Misato has explicit authority over both of them so their relationship will exist at her whims.

Consider this, man: What if he comes home from two weeks of self control and creative fuckery planned out only to find out that his slave has been playing around behind his back and isn't exclusively his anymore? How can he not see that as a betrayal when you know damn well that Shinji is always expecting that to be the case in all his relationships. I'd expect him to immediately quit Nerv and move out (hell, his stuff is already packed and on his back!) because that's how he rolls, and nothing short of an impending apocalypse will change Shinji's mind once he's actually made it.
Rest In Peace ~ 1978 - 2017
"I'd consider myself a realist, alright? but in philosophical terms I'm what's called a pessimist. It means I'm bad at parties." - Rust Cohle
"Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize that half of 'em are stupider than that." - George Carlin
"The internet: It's like a training camp for never amounting to anything." - Oglaf
"I think internet message boards and the like are dangerous." - Anno

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Postby Bagheera » Sat Aug 08, 2015 9:15 pm

View Original PostNemZ wrote:The same thing I've been on about the whole time. We don't need to talk to Shinji. Shinji probably already knows. Shinji will just roll with it, right? All of that takes him for granted and breaks the trust required of such an arrangement. It changes the dynamic because now he's necessarily going to be the 'lesser master' because Misato has explicit authority over both of them so their relationship will exist at her whims.


. . . that was established in the original story, and at his request no less. He is the lesser master, because he doesn't know what the fuck he's doing. He brought Misato in to help save them both, that was the whole point. All Misato's doing here is stabilizing Asuka so that Shinji will have something to work with when he gets back.

Consider this, man: What if he comes home from two weeks of self control and creative fuckery planned out only to find out that his slave has been playing around behind his back and isn't exclusively his anymore?


How do you figure it's behind his back? Did you read the first story? Misato is a fundamental part of their relationship. She's why it works, why it isn't the exploitative train wreck it was at the start of the original story. She and Asuka would have to have some kind of romantic interaction while he's gone, be it sexual or no; it would be odd if they didn't at this point.
For my post-3I fic, go here.
The law doesn't protect people. People protect the law. -- Akane Tsunemori, Psycho-Pass
People's deaths are to be mourned. The ability to save people should be celebrated. Life itself should be exalted. -- Volken Macmani, Tatakau Shisho: The Book of Bantorra
I hate myself. But maybe I can learn to love myself. Maybe it's okay for me to be here! That's right! I'm me, nothing more, nothing less! I'm me. I want to be me! I want to be here! And it's okay for me to be here! -- Shinji Ikari, Neon Genesis Evangelion
Yes, I know. You thought it would be something about Asuka. You're such idiots.

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Postby NemZ » Sat Aug 08, 2015 10:45 pm

View Original PostBagheera wrote:Did you read the first story?


It's been a while. I concede I might have forgotten some relevant particulars.
Rest In Peace ~ 1978 - 2017
"I'd consider myself a realist, alright? but in philosophical terms I'm what's called a pessimist. It means I'm bad at parties." - Rust Cohle
"Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize that half of 'em are stupider than that." - George Carlin
"The internet: It's like a training camp for never amounting to anything." - Oglaf
"I think internet message boards and the like are dangerous." - Anno

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Postby Rommel » Sun Aug 09, 2015 8:39 am

It's never too late to read it again.

I have to say, I seems AFF was taken over by east europeans or something (or someone with really broken english). This thing was getting some strange reviews.

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Postby amitakartok » Sun Aug 09, 2015 9:46 am

View Original PostRommel wrote:I seems AFF was taken over by east europeans or something (or someone with really broken english).


Ahem. I'm Eastern European too. Is my English crap? You've seen it before on Fanbards.
Strategic Cyborg Evangelion : an average author's aspiring attempt at awesomeness. Chapter 32 now up.

Mana, Mayumi and Sakura: the TRUE goddesses of Eva

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Postby Rommel » Sun Aug 09, 2015 10:26 am

If you are not the one posting ridiculous bullshit in the story's review section, then it's clearly not with you is it?

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Postby NemZ » Sun Aug 09, 2015 4:45 pm

View Original PostRommel wrote:It's never too late to read it again.


I found 3 chapters and an omake. Is that it or am I still missing some of it?

Because from what I read my comments still seem on-point.
Rest In Peace ~ 1978 - 2017
"I'd consider myself a realist, alright? but in philosophical terms I'm what's called a pessimist. It means I'm bad at parties." - Rust Cohle
"Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize that half of 'em are stupider than that." - George Carlin
"The internet: It's like a training camp for never amounting to anything." - Oglaf
"I think internet message boards and the like are dangerous." - Anno

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Postby amitakartok » Sun Aug 09, 2015 8:57 pm

View Original PostRommel wrote:If you are not the one posting ridiculous bullshit in the story's review section, then it's clearly not with you is it?


Nope. I saw that review and could barely read it. I hate it when people write like that.
Strategic Cyborg Evangelion : an average author's aspiring attempt at awesomeness. Chapter 32 now up.

Mana, Mayumi and Sakura: the TRUE goddesses of Eva


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