Lemon Discussion Thread [try to keep it SFW~ish]

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Re: Lemon Discussion Thread [try to keep it SFW~ish]

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Postby silvermoonlight » Mon Oct 16, 2017 3:34 pm

View Original Postamitakartok wrote:It's not the malicious kind of bullying I was thinking about. Asuka is hiding the fact that she's a futa, Mayumi walks in on Asuka changing after swimming class and sees too much, so Asuka intimidates the other girl into going down on her so that if Mayumi were to try to publicly reveal Asuka's condition, Asuka can turn that right back around by publicly revealing that Mayumi went down on her and accusing her of being a sick pervert.

Asuka isn't malicious, she's deathly scared of being shamed and ridiculed for her condition and is willing to resort to extreme measures to preempt that. It would take Mayumi's admission of not actually minding the whole thing for Asuka to realize that she has nothing to fear as far as Mayumi is concerned and calm down, after which they'd talk things over and eventually start experimenting.

SPOILER: Show
There would be a big scare when they go all the way for the first time because Mayumi would only realize afterward that it's an unsafe day for her and Asuka never worked up the courage to go to a doctor and have her manly juices checked for fertility, hence both girls would spend the next month or so deathly scared that Mayumi might've gotten knocked up (she didn't because Asuka is indeed infertile that way for environmental temperature reasons).


Also you could infer that Futa is a mutation caused by 2nd impact as it effects pregnancy and scrambles the genes in a way that much more extreme than intersex but the condition can cause some people with it to born to be infertile, also if you want to go deeper you could put that people with this condition are ostracised by sociality in the way transgender people are in that they can be attacked and beaten up hence the deep need for this quite from both characters.
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Re: Lemon Discussion Thread [try to keep it SFW~ish]

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Postby amitakartok » Tue Oct 17, 2017 5:43 am

View Original Postsilvermoonlight wrote:Also you could infer that Futa is a mutation caused by 2nd impact


I've been trying to use that concept for a long time now, but it always gets shot down on the basis that Second Impact doesn't work that way. I myself distinctly remember Reichu or someone else explicitly stating on this very forum that any connections between Second Impact and piloting ability is explicitly fanon, ergo Second Impact doesn't mess with anyone's genes as far as canon goes.

the condition can cause some people with it to born to be infertile


It would already cause infertility as it is, but only for the manly parts. A guy's balls are where they are for a reason. Quoth Wikipedia:

Seminiferous epithelium is sensitive to elevated temperature in humans and some other species, and will be adversely affected by temperatures as high as normal body temperature. Consequently, the testes are located outside the body [...] The optimal temperature is maintained at 2°C below body temperature.


Ergo if a futa's balls aren't outside like a guy's (and Asuka's isn't in this concept), she ain't going to knock up anyone. Ever.
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Re: Lemon Discussion Thread [try to keep it SFW~ish]

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Postby silvermoonlight » Tue Oct 17, 2017 8:58 am

View Original Postamitakartok wrote:I've been trying to use that concept for a long time now, but it always gets shot down on the basis that Second Impact doesn't work that way. I myself distinctly remember Reichu or someone else explicitly stating on this very forum that any connections between Second Impact and piloting ability is explicitly fanon, ergo Second Impact doesn't mess with anyone's genes as far as canon goes.


In my view your already breaking canon as Futa exist and that makes its an alternative universe, the way I see it is that adam is an alien and that means anything is possible not to mention he has the power of a god he could mess up humanity in all kinds of ways with 2nd impact. I get the thing with canon as there are some rules you really can't break but I don't think this should be one of them. Plus breaking the canon norms every now and again can make for a new and interesting story and something readers have never read before hence it will stand out.
Last edited by silvermoonlight on Tue Oct 17, 2017 11:01 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Lemon Discussion Thread [try to keep it SFW~ish]

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Postby amitakartok » Tue Oct 17, 2017 10:23 am

My point exactly.
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Re: Lemon Discussion Thread [try to keep it SFW~ish]

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Postby silvermoonlight » Tue Oct 17, 2017 11:15 am

View Original Postamitakartok wrote:My point exactly.


Hence you should go for this I mean if you did this issue and played it off seriously despite having a sex scene the reader will get what your getting at plus why have imaginative limits? There so limiting...from what I've seen most readers only get annoyed when you write the character becoming seriously out of character but if you keep the characters core personality intact to the canon even if you change the age range or setting they will still go with it.
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Re: Lemon Discussion Thread [try to keep it SFW~ish]

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Postby ArvisTaljik » Tue Oct 17, 2017 11:27 am

View Original Postamitakartok wrote:My point exactly.


I say go for it. As long as it's written believably then you're golden. Not achieving suspension of disbelief is the quickest way to failure in a fictional story/setting so, as long as it's given at least a bit of an explanation (make it believable to your universe) and you build off of that, all is well. ^_^

Carry on McDuff!
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Re: Lemon Discussion Thread [try to keep it SFW~ish]

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Postby amitakartok » Tue Oct 17, 2017 12:20 pm

Maybe. But right now, I've been thinking of doing a little overhauling of plans for my Kensuke/Mayumi fic because it feels they get to going all the way too quickly. Perhaps I could bring in some pantsu onani beforehand?
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Re: Lemon Discussion Thread [try to keep it SFW~ish]

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Postby Rommel » Thu Nov 09, 2017 6:29 pm

So does anyone want to help proof read a 75 page lemon involving Asuka, Rei and Mari with some ... moderate D/s thrown in because of course it is? Asking for science.

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Re: Lemon Discussion Thread [try to keep it SFW~ish]

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Postby amitakartok » Thu Nov 09, 2017 6:54 pm

Count me out. You know why.
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Re: Lemon Discussion Thread [try to keep it SFW~ish]

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Postby ChaddyManPrime » Fri Nov 10, 2017 12:24 am

View Original PostRommel wrote:So does anyone want to help proof read a 75 page lemon involving Asuka, Rei and Mari with some ... moderate D/s thrown in because of course it is? Asking for science.

Bro are you still working on that? Should really focus on improving Power Plays 2 first. You should really focus on one project at a time. You're going to keep on doing stuff and it's never going to get completed.

And before you lash out at me like you did Amita, know this advice comes from a place of love.

I'd rather you focus on that story if anything where you have Asuka and Shinji duke it out cuz Asuka turns out to be a prostitute who got Shinji to fuck her in disguise.

But the upside to the other story, is it is not borrowed from Meguro. Which I'm proud of.
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Re: Lemon Discussion Thread [try to keep it SFW~ish]

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Postby amitakartok » Fri Nov 10, 2017 7:24 am

I don't remember lashing out but if I did, I apologize in advance.

Also, what was that about prostitutes in disguise?
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Re: Lemon Discussion Thread [try to keep it SFW~ish]

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Postby Rommel » Fri Nov 10, 2017 8:40 am

View Original PostChaddyManPrime wrote:Bro are you still working on that? Should really focus on improving Power Plays 2 first. You should really focus on one project at a time. You're going to keep on doing stuff and it's never going to get completed.


Why would I continue to put time into something there's no interest in?

As for the prostitute thing ... I honestly don't recall that idea being mine.

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Re: Lemon Discussion Thread [try to keep it SFW~ish]

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Postby ChaddyManPrime » Sat Nov 11, 2017 2:09 am

View Original Postamitakartok wrote:I don't remember lashing out but if I did, I apologize in advance.

Also, what was that about prostitutes in disguise?

No no, he lashed out at you after you said why should you invest time into something if it's just going to be left incomplete.

He has this story over on fanbards where after Shinji and Asuka kiss (maybe they don't ?Rommel has a line thrown in where Asuka says "but you won't kiss my lips?) , feeling rejected by Shinji, Asuka decides to give the boy she went on a date with another chance and they have sex a lot. Asuka is failing one of her classes so her not boyfriend gives her the idea to seduce the teacher so she can get a passing grade. It fails, and the teacher being one of meguro's interpretations of the character gets Asuka involved in S&M and prostitution. During one of the sessions while she's wearing a mask Shinji is one of her clients, Shinji eventually finds out and naturally flips his shit and they get into a fight.

@ Rommel
No one said they weren't interested in power plays 2, all that was said that could be considered negative was that it takes a step back in the character development from part 1, and that you retconned what Misato said in part 1 about not being a lolicon. You could just easily rewrite those two things and continue on with the story instead of just throwing it in the garbage. Cuz it sounded to me like you put a lot of work into it.

And you shouldn't be writing these stories to make other people happy, you should write because you want to write and not because you want to be recognized.
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Re: Lemon Discussion Thread [try to keep it SFW~ish]

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Postby Rommel » Sat Nov 11, 2017 8:30 am

Yeah, so someone insinuates that I shouldn't contribute when all I've done is make a post giving an update but if I call him out on it I'm the one lashing out? Give me a break.

PP2 is not going to get 'fixed', so don't get your hopes up.

I remember that story you mentioned. It has a bunch of other stuff that went with it, including the Asuka/Shinji scene but it's not going to be posted.See? Not making anyone else happy, and I'm happy with having it in my drive.

I really find this argument quite ridiculous. I post asking if anyone wants to proof a finished story involving the three pilots and then have to deal with all this drama. No thanks. Will find a proof reader elsewhere.

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Re: Lemon Discussion Thread [try to keep it SFW~ish]

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Postby ChaddyManPrime » Sat Nov 11, 2017 8:57 am

@ Rommel
Bro, stop getting so defensive. Not insinuating anything like that, I think instead of just creating a shit ton of works that you can't possibly finish. That you should just focus on one thing at a time. You have all these ideas, but none of the motivation to finish them because the people are not giving you the feedback you want.

Why don't you just ask Nemo, Jimmy, or Arc Blazer to proofread for you? They are usually the go-to guys for your stuff. I didn't understand that you were looking for a proofreader, I thought you were looking for someone just to criticize your work, I am sorry for that assumption.
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Re: Lemon Discussion Thread [try to keep it SFW~ish]

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Postby Rommel » Sat Nov 11, 2017 10:03 am

Dude, you come out and accuse me of lashing out without even understanding what the post was about and then say I'm defensive? Come on now. Did it occur to you that if the people who usually proofread were available I wouldn't have made the post to begin with?

Anyway, I got someone to look this over now. Last time I ask for help around here since it's clearly pointless.

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Re: Lemon Discussion Thread [try to keep it SFW~ish]

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Postby amitakartok » Sat Nov 11, 2017 11:00 am

View Original PostRommel wrote:Last time I ask for help around here since it's clearly pointless.


Considering that we're not allowed to go into detail about story ideas, which defeats the whole point of this thread... I kinda agree with you on that.

And to clear up any misunderstandings, when I said "you know why" above, I wasn't implying that it's because you shouldn't write or anything. Hell, I've written nowhere near as much stuff as you did, so I'm in no position to diss yours. What I meant is that I've been rather vocal about my dislike of domsub in all its forms and that hasn't changed, so I'm simply not going to review or comment on one because I'm already biased against the subject matter.
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Re: Lemon Discussion Thread [try to keep it SFW~ish]

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Postby Guy Nacks » Sat Nov 11, 2017 1:10 pm

Image
Among the people who use the Internet, many are obtuse. Because they are locked in their rooms, they hang on to that vision which is spreading across the world. But this does not go beyond mere ‘data’. Data without analysis [thinking], which makes you think that you know everything. This complacency is nothing but a trap. Moreover, the sense of values that counters this notion is paralyzed by it.

And so we arrive at demagogy. - Hideaki Anno, 1996

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Re: Lemon Discussion Thread [try to keep it SFW~ish]

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Postby ChaddyManPrime » Sat Nov 11, 2017 4:39 pm

@Amita
I just don't like it cause they're oversaturating the market with writing the same thing over and over again.

I want people to expand their Horizons a fucking bit.

I may not like reading your work Amita, but at least you are thinking of new shit.
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Re: Lemon Discussion Thread [try to keep it SFW~ish]

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Postby amitakartok » Sat Nov 11, 2017 6:01 pm

View Original PostChaddyManPrime wrote:at least you are thinking of new shit.


Which the great majority of the fandom takes as blasphemy, so that's kinda faint praise.
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