Is there a deeper reason we pick our ships?

[Gob Hobblin]

An interesting thought occurred to me today....

I am (surprise, surprise) a Shinji/Asuka shipper. There were many surface reasons for why this developed as it did (not the least of which being that they are both the last 'surviving' characters in the series), but it boiled down to the fact that I strongly sympathized with Asuka. I understood her, and had a sense of why she behaved the way she did. Many of her personality flaws are ones I possessed at roughly the same point in life. Not to a T, but enough that, when presented with all the Evangelion characters, she would be the one I point at and go, "Yeah, I get that. That makes sense to me."

A second view-through, however, made me realize I have the same sympathy with Shinji for the same reasons. I realized that a lot of the same vices Shinji had (uncertainty, indecisiveness, fear, crippling shyness) were things I dealt/deal with (often at the same time as the 'Asuka' vices, such as narcissism, savage temper, a nasty streak, etc.). I began to feel a lot for Shinji, and understood why he made the choices he did.

So, looking at this pair...Shinji and Asuka...it occurred to me that maybe there was a deeper reason why I picked this ship.

In many ways, the characters of Evangelion are both amazingly human characters and caricatures. While they display the kinds of neuroses and failings real people do (often in actual amounts), they also tend to gravitate towards extremes. This is something that happens in real life as well, but the nature of the extremes (within Evangelion) is almost a way of making characters of the neuroses themselves. The characters of Evangelion become stand-ins for the particular problems they are battling with.

While there are people who deal with those singular extremes, most people tend to deal with a cruel balance: that there are multiple issues they battle with, often with no rhyme or reason as to why they tick the way they do. That being said, I wonder if perhaps that's one of the reasons why Asuka and Shinji appeal to me as a couple: that, in a way, them combined creates a 'whole person' that reflects something like me (if in a more extreme way). So, the ship becomes a combination for issues I battle, and virtues I value (sensitivity, empathy, and determination from Shinji, fierceness, confidence, and stubbornness from Asuka...yes, I view stubbornness as a virtue). So, while there are many reasons I ship Shinji and Asuka, I think that one of those reasons is this ship creates a reflection of...me, essentially. It draws a deeper investment from me because I see something that is intimately familiar.

So...upon reflection, does anybody else see this in the reason they pair certain characters? That somewhere, their instinctive 'like' for a certain couple might be because that merging of personality traits indicates something they see reflected in themselves?

[ChaddyManPrime]

^
Honestly bro, I just go with Asushin because I believe Anno created them to be each other's counterparts. It's pretty much the reason I ship in general.

[Rosenakahara]

I dont ship in the Eva-TV, i just go with what the anime provides me which seems to be asushin, NTE however i personally really like the interactions between Rei and Shinji and think they would fit together well, yes a bunch of people will bombard me with "but its incest", and to that i say: Rei is NOT yui.

Asumari however is just because 3.0's dialogue made the yuri shipper in me go wild and something about them just.......fits

[Gob Hobblin]

Which is fair (we all like to ship yuri/yaoi if it works), but looking at those ships (you too, Chaddy), don't you wonder if there's something else reflected in why you picked those? I mean, picking them just because they fit is sometimes all you got, and that's fine.

My curiosity is that (especially after having that little realization about that ship) is if anybody else might find something intriguing/revealing/unknown about why they like particular pairings. In other words, not necessarily which pairings you like (we have so many threads for that!), but what those pairings say about you.

Like...is there something about the Rei/Shinji pairing that, upon reflection, seems to pair up with something you recognize or equate in your own life?

[SawItAtAge10]

Disclaimer: This is all purely my opinion based on observation.

I don't think the characters are stand-ins as much as they are personifications...

As far as Shinji and Asuka go, I would say that the whole thing is pretty one sided. She obviously has feelings for him, but we don;t see him respond to her in the same way, and even if we account for they way he shows her "his love", one would hardly call that romantic.

I am speaking of course about the scenes from EoE.

Shinji masturbates over Asuka.

This can viewed as Shijni trying to force a connection between himself and Asuka. It's also a satire of Otaku sitting in their rooms jerking it to hentai pics of their favorite anime "hot chick". In story, it's far removed from being "romantic" and is more synthetic.

The Line "I want to stay with you"

This is merely Shinij reaching out to really anyone who happened to be near by necessity out of sheer desperation. He needs comfort from another. Specifically, he needs a mother. Asuka's "Yui-like" hand gesture at the end (the thing that gets him to stop choking her) is a visual indication of this. She's conceding to that role in his mind. Her line "How disgusting" is her resentment in realizing that she's been subjugated to that (of course she doesn't realize with the bandages on her eye and arm she's wearing the costume of another idolized "mother" in the series: Rei). Then there's the little bit about "the first other is mother". In that same regard, Asuka was the first "other" to emerge from the sea of LCL. Thus, Shinji's affections towards her can never be on equal footing with her "liking" (or possibly even loving) him as he sees her as a comfort object, like a doll in the shape of a mom.

[Rosenakahara]

Which is fair (we all like to ship yuri/yaoi if it works), but looking at those ships (you too, Chaddy), don't you wonder if there's something else reflected in why you picked those? I mean, picking them just because they fit is sometimes all you got, and that's fine.

My curiosity is that (especially after having that little realization about that ship) is if anybody else might find something intriguing/revealing/unknown about why they like particular pairings. In other words, not necessarily which pairings you like (we have so many threads for that!), but what those pairings say about you.

Like...is there something about the Rei/Shinji pairing that, upon reflection, seems to pair up with something you recognize or equate in your own life?

Hmmn well actually a lot of the reason why i like NTE Rei so much is because, much like my waifu xion, by 2.0 she starts to try to find her own life and live it, she really begins to make her own decisions and is sick of being told she isn't a person/just a doll, the reason i think i ship her with Shinji is because as the films go own they begin to slowly help each other become stronger people, she supports him without even realizing and at the end is willing to die so he doesn't have to fight anymore.

Asumari however....well i think what gets to me with them is their casual jabs at each other and just how natural they feel around each other, something about them feels a bit more than friends to me and even though she doesn't show it mari does seem to be kind of concerned for Asuka at the end of the battle (when she tells Shinji to go and save her), i cant really tell why i just love them together

[Nuclear Lunchbox]

Nyet. I ship for cuteness and interesting relationship possibilities, with maybe some untz possibilities thrown in there.

[Gob Hobblin]

Oh, come on, Nuke...you're a deeper guy than that! You may have fooled everyone else, but you haven't fooled me!

Are you honestly saying that, with your flagship (the One True Ship of Ships that Ships it's way through the shipping lanes of your heart...ship), there isn't something there that, upon reflection, reveals something deep about you? Fundamental? Curious?

...disturbing?

[Nuclear Lunchbox]

Heh, not really. If I get to the point where I'm examining myself through characters, I just call it introspection and leave it at that. My serious ships, though... I've only had one of those, and it was a proud SxA. It still is, but I've been meaning to reevaluate it.

[Rosenakahara]

I think i got it, i am deadly terrified of waking up one day and realising that i have just become a mindless drone/puppet for others to exploit, i value my own freedom above most other things and at the same time i have had people shit on my self worth most of my life, at points making me question why i even exist, eventually leading to my emotions being more dulled than some people, that's why i find "puppets that break their strings" or "robot who gained a soul" type characters so compelling and why i sympathise with them so much, it feels like i am watching some part of me and so i want them to be happy.....wow i went really deep into my own head there.

[Gob Hobblin]

It was a great answer, too, Rose. That's an interesting connection you brought up: that with your own kind of 'emotional dulling,' you find sympathy in Rei's situation. It's almost like Shinji becomes a conduit for Rei 'snapping her strings.'

...that's deep stuff!

Why have you been aiming to reevaluate the SxA ship, Nuke? I'm curious.

[Nuclear Lunchbox]

Why have you been aiming to reevaluate the SxA ship, Nuke? I'm curious.

I haven't questioned it in a while, and don't want to become complacent.

[Gob Hobblin]

Sounds like a deep conversation for later.

...or a not so deep conversation. That could go either way.

[ChaddyManPrime]

Well bro, I have a tendency to ship characters that are similar to one another. The most obvious case being Superman/Wonder Woman. I also seem to be rather affected by Evangelion when it comes to shipping, I really hate when the effeminate boy and the redhead crush don't get together, Dipper/Wendy, Morty/Jessica, and Xander/Willow being the ones that come to my mind.

I also ship them cause they're my two favorite characters and I have had a thing for redheads since I was like 5 or 6. I find them both relatable and I find people that are relatable to be attractive, and they are attractive so I want them to be together.

[Dataprime]

Wait... I need a reason for picking Asuka?

[Rosenakahara]

Xander/Willow

nevermind just checked the wiki, i never saw the whole series so didnt know about this, huh

[ChaddyManPrime]

^
Yeah in the early seasons Good Mam.

[The Polyethylene Man]

I ship SxA because I always thought Charlie Brown's most interesting dynamic was with Lucy.

[ChaddyManPrime]

^
Another good reason Good Sir. Charlie also doesn't get the redhead

[Guy Nacks]

Shipping in Eva is probably pointless as far as Anno is concerned. His message seems to have always been that finding love for oneself is more important first before finding a love interest. I only shit based on which characters would have the healthiest possible relationships (Q!SakuraxShinji) or the hottest sex (Q!Mari/Q!Asuka), but I really don't take shipping all that seriously.