Afterwards... [now complete]

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Postby pwhodges » Tue May 27, 2014 5:25 pm

This fanfic tells of the states of mind of Shinji and Rei after the end of Q, and how they were able to recover in the end. It turned out a little more successful than I dared think, and is now complete, ending up as a reasonably modest 27,500 words - so it's not that big a commitment if you're interested in reading it. You can follow it by reading through the thread, which gets you all the commentary and discussion, and even a couple of working documents, or you can read it on one of the following web sites:

[url]https://www.fanfiction.net/u/5792969/pwhodges[/url] (page per scene)
[url]http://archiveofourown.org/works/search?utf8=✓&work_search%5Bquery%5D=pwhodges[/url] (page per scene)
[url]https://ambisonic.info/afterwards[/url] (all on one huge page)

In addition, here is a PDF of the whole thing, which prints nicely as a 64-page booklet, if you have access to a suitable printer. The PDF has a few extra corrections, and is now the definitive version.

Below is my original opening post for this thread:

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I have never written fiction, even when I was at school, and it's probably a bit late for me to start. But for no reason at all, when I was walking the dogs today, an initial fragment of something ran round my mind, and seemed to be trying to get out.

So I let it out, and I'll let you look at it. You may laugh or sigh, or ignore it, I won't mind - just don't be mean, I don't think it deserves that.

Afterwards...  SPOILER: Show


Scroll down the page for the revised version.


I don't know what another dog walk might bring forth; it could be something or nothing.
Last edited by pwhodges on Thu Jul 02, 2015 5:57 am, edited 10 times in total.
"Being human, having your health; that's what's important." (from: Magical Shopping Arcade Abenobashi )
"As long as we're all living, and as long as we're all having fun, that should do it, right?" (from: The Eccentric Family )
Avatar: Kaworu starts to prepare Shinji for dual-piloting (details); Past avatars.
Afterwards... my post-Q Evangelion fanfic (discussion)

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Postby Grand Duke of Yashima » Wed May 28, 2014 1:14 am

It's intriguing, I'll give it that. The setting presents a good way to get into Shinji's thought process after Q's ending. I suppose being on the back of a horse beats being dragged by a wench by the hand for days on end.

Your prose is surprisingly clean for someone who doesn't write fics. I would strongly encourage giving yourself a few more thousand words of this to see where you can take it.
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Postby pwhodges » Wed May 28, 2014 1:40 am

The horse idea comes from the storyboards in Shirou Sagisu's Petit film. Thanks for the encouragement.
"Being human, having your health; that's what's important." (from: Magical Shopping Arcade Abenobashi )
"As long as we're all living, and as long as we're all having fun, that should do it, right?" (from: The Eccentric Family )
Avatar: Kaworu starts to prepare Shinji for dual-piloting (details); Past avatars.
Afterwards... my post-Q Evangelion fanfic (discussion)

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Postby AngelNo13Bardiel » Wed May 28, 2014 1:45 am

I like it. Like Duke said, it's pretty good considering you said you've never written one before. By all means, continue on if you feel like it.
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Postby ChaddyManPrime » Wed May 28, 2014 1:46 am

You should have made him ride in on an ass :lol:

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Postby Ray » Wed May 28, 2014 2:30 am

This is actually pretty good. A little. . .cramped in some descriptive details, IMO but not bad. Not bad at all.

I'm writing my own post 3.0 fic myself, so always good to meet a fellow fan who shares my sentiments and motivations. Keep it up Dude!
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Postby ElMariachi » Wed May 28, 2014 3:30 am

An intriguing beginning, gives me a The Last of Us vibe with the horses! :D

I like the way Shinji's catatonic dementia is represented by how it's not made clear how much time passes or the details of the journey, such as how Shinji manages to stay in his horses and if they had to put him back on it.

Let's see where the rest of the story bring our three heroes!
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Seriously, that is the most fananked theory I've ever heard, more than Mari being Marty McFly travelling through time to keep her parents (Asushin) together. -- Jäeger

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Postby pwhodges » Wed May 28, 2014 5:09 am

View Original PostRay wrote:A little. . .cramped in some descriptive details, IMO

Can you expand on this a little?

I have always deliberately avoided repetition and redundancy in my writing (I've written plenty, but for manuals, reports, etc.), because I feel that if something is said right, then it doesn't need to be said again. But admittedly I am sometimes criticised for being terse as a result.

In this fragment, I wanted a minimum of overt scene setting, because at this point the scene is Shinji's mind. The paragraph on the settlement was already more than I really wanted (I pared it down quite a lot while writing it, and have a further reduced version), but I felt it was necessary background to justify the horses. It implies also (show, don't say) that the area of solid core is limited, and they have passed out of it to an area where people can survive independently of Nerv and Wille's technology.
"Being human, having your health; that's what's important." (from: Magical Shopping Arcade Abenobashi )
"As long as we're all living, and as long as we're all having fun, that should do it, right?" (from: The Eccentric Family )
Avatar: Kaworu starts to prepare Shinji for dual-piloting (details); Past avatars.
Afterwards... my post-Q Evangelion fanfic (discussion)

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Postby cyharding » Wed May 28, 2014 11:02 pm

For a first attempt, this wasn't too bad. I liked how you got into Shinji's thoughts, and at the same time (hope I'm using the right words here) his absence of thought. That was good.

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Postby Bagheera » Thu Jun 05, 2014 2:04 pm

This is a good start, PW. You should definitely continue if you're so inclined.
For my post-3I fic, go here.
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Yes, I know. You thought it would be something about Asuka. You're such idiots.

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Postby pwhodges » Thu Jun 05, 2014 2:31 pm

Thanks! I have a bit more planned - but my continuing illness and then my severe reaction to the treatment has prevented me from concentrating for long enough to pull it into shape. I finished the course last night, so the effects should be wearing off soon - I hope!
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Avatar: Kaworu starts to prepare Shinji for dual-piloting (details); Past avatars.
Afterwards... my post-Q Evangelion fanfic (discussion)

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Postby Ray » Thu Jun 05, 2014 4:40 pm

Oh dear. . .hope you get better man!
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Postby pwhodges » Thu Jun 05, 2014 4:50 pm

Details were in the FML thread - Giardiasis; treatment (effective) with Metronidazole, to which I reacted poorly in turn. Should be recovered by the weekend.
"Being human, having your health; that's what's important." (from: Magical Shopping Arcade Abenobashi )
"As long as we're all living, and as long as we're all having fun, that should do it, right?" (from: The Eccentric Family )
Avatar: Kaworu starts to prepare Shinji for dual-piloting (details); Past avatars.
Afterwards... my post-Q Evangelion fanfic (discussion)

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Postby LegionWrex » Thu Jun 05, 2014 6:27 pm

For a first time writer, it's pretty good!

Getting a huge The Road vibe from this in a way.
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Postby pwhodges » Fri Jun 06, 2014 8:13 am

So, I revised the first part, just tweaks really, and wrote the next section. Like the first part, the second went on to the page as something quite different from the thoughts that had accumulated in my head. I guess that when I write, the writing forges its own path, and all my ideas and plans are just a background against which it takes shape. I had expected Rei's thoughts to be much more terse than they turned out.

Part 1, slightly revised -  SPOILER: Show
Afterwards...
=============

Eventually they came to a stockade of some kind.

It seemed to him that Asuka left them and went in, but he had no idea for how long. Time had stopped for him; all moments, past, present, and future, were the same as far as he was concerned. She reappeared, presumably after an interval, with three horses and a meagre supply of rations to enable them to continue their journey.

She didn't explain, and he could not have understood, that they had come to a settlement of survivors who had found ways of scratching a living from the remains. The settlers had helped out the travellers simply to enable them to be somewhere else when either rescue or capture caught up with them, in the hope that the settlement itself would not be noticed by Nerv or Wille - which they presumed would be the end for them.

He was on the back of a horse. Presumably Asuka had put him there. He'd never been on one before. He did nothing, and the horse moved, and was warm; and that was enough. He could see the other pilot on a horse as well. Presumably she had also never ridden horseback before, but she sat there with an air of accepting that people did this, and it worked, and there was nothing more to consider. Had Rei, his Rei, ever sat on a horse? Perhaps there had been an opportunity for her at school; but then, what did he really know of her? Had she also been a clone, like this other pilot? What would that mean? After all, his Rei wasn't like this other one. But what did it mean to be a clone? Were they human? Was he human himself? If he had spent fourteen years inside Unit-01, that was surely not anything a human could do - so what was he now?

They travelled on. He stayed alive, if this was life - he could no longer tell. The other pilot seemed to be more human than he himself. She silently followed Asuka's instructions, and led the horse that he couldn't conceive of controlling. But he still couldn't be sure what she was, really; he couldn't even be sure that Asuka herself was human, after what had happened to her so recently, as it seemed to him - but so many years ago in fact. He recalled that her eye seemed strange, even with the patch, but knew nothing more than that.

Thinking, if we may call it that, of eyes brought his mind round to Kaworu. Kaworu, whose eyes had looked deep into his soul and shown him trust. Kaworu, who had started to fill the void in his heart that the other one, so reminiscient of Rei, had failed to do. Was he starting to recognise some greater similarity between Kaworu and Rei, he wondered, and, the thought struck him, did that mean that perhaps Kaworu was a clone, if Rei had been? His heart quickened for a moment, but then he was overwhelmed again by despair - if there were to be another Kaworu, a clone, would that one be like... no, he couldn't bear that. Better not to think than to have thoughts like that.

They travelled on. It is not recorded whether he stayed on the horse himself, or whether the others had to keep putting him back up. It didn't matter to him.
Part 2, first draft (slightly revised) -  SPOILER: Show
I exist to obey orders.

That had been all she had known: obey orders. But she was becoming aware that there were other things. After all, someone gave those orders; she didn't know why, and had no interest in that - but giving orders was different from just obeying them. The red one ordered her to get on a horse, and she obeyed; the red one ordered her to lead the horse bearing Shinji, and she obeyed. It was natural, it was the way of things.

I exist to obey orders.

She had been ordered to fetch the one called Shinji from where he had been. The pink one had tried to stop her, but she had not allowed that to prevent her from carrying out her order; she presumed the pink one had been ordered to stop her, but that was of no consequence to her. She had fetched Shinji, as she had been ordered to, and he had come without resisting. Shinji had been ordered to stay, to resist being fetched. She had heard the order being given. But if he had resisted, she would still have fetched him, as that was her order.

I exist to obey orders.

Shinji puzzled her... What was this puzzlement anyway? It was something that she had not experienced before fetching Shinji. This was the source of her puzzlement: he had not resisted - he had not obeyed the order. Although he had been ordered to stay, he had come with her willingly. There were those who gave orders, otherwise there would be no orders; there were those who obeyed, otherwise the orders would not be carried out. That was her world, but Shinji didn't fit into it. He had been given an order, but he had not carried it out, he had not obeyed. The pink one had been given an order, and had attempted to carry it out, though it had been necessary to ensure that she didn't succeed; the red one now gave her orders, but this was not so puzzling as receiving and giving orders were both parts of the world she knew.

I exist to obey...

But Shinji was different; he had not obeyed. He had been different after they had arrived as well. He said strange things to her; he gave her books; but he didn't give her orders. And yet he seemed puzzled - upset, was that the term? - when she didn't read the books even though she had not been ordered to, and when she didn't say things to him. He called her by her name, Rei Ayanami, but seemed to expect her to be someone else, even told that she was not Rei Ayanami. But what should she say? She had no orders to speak to him.

I exist to?...

During the fight the other pilots had spoken to her the same way that Shinji had done. So she had asked for an explanation, asked what "Rei Ayanami" would have done, but received no answer. She was Rei Ayanami; but like Shinji, the others seemed to be expecting a different person, even referring to "the original", another Rei Ayanami, as he had done. So when the end came, she survived. She had not been ordered to; but she had not been ordered to let herself be destroyed either. She had made a choice. She had acted without an order. This was strange, but it had seemed fitting, and it was why she had survived.

I exist!...

She had seen Shinji with the music player. She supposed it gave him pleasure, though this was a remote concept for her. He had dropped it, which she had not expected him to do, because he always carried it. Why had she picked it up? So that he could have it again, the thing that gave him pleasure? At the moment of doing it she had felt a flicker of... familiarity? As if it was something she had done before. But she couldn't have; she remembered what orders she had been given, and that had never been one of them. So, what?...

I...
Last edited by pwhodges on Fri Jun 06, 2014 11:27 am, edited 4 times in total.
"Being human, having your health; that's what's important." (from: Magical Shopping Arcade Abenobashi )
"As long as we're all living, and as long as we're all having fun, that should do it, right?" (from: The Eccentric Family )
Avatar: Kaworu starts to prepare Shinji for dual-piloting (details); Past avatars.
Afterwards... my post-Q Evangelion fanfic (discussion)

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Postby ElMariachi » Fri Jun 06, 2014 8:34 am

Very good characterization of Rei Q and her existential crisis, and how Shinji doesn't fit at all in her pattern of how things work. Also, I liked how you acknowledged that even if Shinji had obeyed the orders to stay, she would had fetched him anyway, by force if necessary.

Now if I may, I have two remarks :

- Rei Q referring to him as "Shinji", shouldn't it be "Ikari" or "Ikari-kun"? Unless you're basing yourself on the English dub.

- these two passages :
View Original Postpwhodges wrote:The red one had tried to stop her, but she had not allowed that to prevent her from carrying out her order; she presumed the red one had been ordered to stop her, but that was of no consequence to her.
[...] The red one had been given an order, and had attempted to carry it out, though it had been necessary to ensure that she didn't succeed; the red one now gave her orders, but this was not so puzzling as receiving and giving orders were both parts of the world she knew.

I suppose you're talking about when Mark.09 took Shinji from the Wunder, but it was Mari, not Asuka, who tried to stop her, so here Rei Q should refers to "the pink one".
Last edited by ElMariachi on Sun Jun 08, 2014 6:34 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Seriously, that is the most fananked theory I've ever heard, more than Mari being Marty McFly travelling through time to keep her parents (Asushin) together. -- Jäeger

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Postby Kendrix » Fri Jun 06, 2014 8:58 am

I also don't think him comming with the Mk 9 was such a big factor/ would have considered by her as such. It this seems like a cool/logical additional detail to include, then by all means put in in there, but not in a way that it overshadows things that produced more overtly markef effects, like his frustration at the last comversation, and the "She isn't Ayanami" line, or the sight of the angel goo face/ Maris talk of an 'original'
I don't think it's correct to make Shinji that much of a 'lynchpin' here; He comes in, he confuses her with what he says. So do the other pilots.

Also noted that fleeing was something Mari suggested earlier; which is where ReiQ might've taken the idea from.


I must say that I liked the first paragraphs, though, the 'wordview descriptions' ("She figured there must be someone else to give the orders" etc.).

It's always hard to describe an absence of internal reflection ... with internal reflection.
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Postby pwhodges » Fri Jun 06, 2014 9:12 am

View Original PostElMariachi wrote:- Rei Q referring to him as "Shinji", shouldn't it be "Ikari" or "Ikari-kun"? Unless you're basing yourself on the English dub.

It seems natural to me to use English style as I'm writing in English (hence also Rei Ayanami, of course)

View Original PostElMariachi wrote:- these two passages :

Oops - I've corrected to pink where necessary, thanks; but I may do some more revision, as her thoughts are now not so well integrated at that point.

View Original PostKendrix wrote:I also don't think him coming with the Mk 9 was such a big factor

Maybe not; but she is now in the countryside with him and Asuka, and it seems natural to me that her thoughts would go that way. After all, her life was built around obedience, and I felt that the first overt disobedience she had encountered would work on her mind, perhaps subconsciously at first, but coming out into her thoughts in this situation.

Anyway, thanks both for your encouragement. This was perhaps a little forced out to see if I could in fact continue - and I'm sure that in due course a more thorough revision will be on the cards.
"Being human, having your health; that's what's important." (from: Magical Shopping Arcade Abenobashi )
"As long as we're all living, and as long as we're all having fun, that should do it, right?" (from: The Eccentric Family )
Avatar: Kaworu starts to prepare Shinji for dual-piloting (details); Past avatars.
Afterwards... my post-Q Evangelion fanfic (discussion)

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Postby ElMariachi » Fri Jun 06, 2014 10:08 am

So if the first chapter was through Shinji's POV (as much as his near vegetative state can be called a POV) and the second through Rei Q's POV, does that mean that the third one will be Asuka's POV?
If that's the case, I feel that it'll be your toughest challenge, due to her ambiguity and how she keeps most of her thought to herself in 3.0.
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Kensuke is a military otaku who, at one point, is shown creepily taking pictures of girls to sell. He would clearly fit right in as an animator at Studio Gainax. -- Compiling_Autumn
EoTV is a therapist, EoE is a drill instructor. -- Chuckman
Seriously, that is the most fananked theory I've ever heard, more than Mari being Marty McFly travelling through time to keep her parents (Asushin) together. -- Jäeger

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Postby pwhodges » Fri Jun 06, 2014 10:15 am

I've thought about that, and have some ideas, but I'm not sure that it will really work so well for her - I'll probably draft it to see, though. Perhaps she should be shouting at the others rather than thinking to herself! I've also thought that maybe her parts should be more narrative than introspective, but that would be a bigger step for me, requiring more forward planning than has yet come to mind. :uhh:
"Being human, having your health; that's what's important." (from: Magical Shopping Arcade Abenobashi )
"As long as we're all living, and as long as we're all having fun, that should do it, right?" (from: The Eccentric Family )
Avatar: Kaworu starts to prepare Shinji for dual-piloting (details); Past avatars.
Afterwards... my post-Q Evangelion fanfic (discussion)


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