Ghosts of Evangelion

[Coldwire]

I'm all in for the side story, it will be nice to see the development of the kids as parents without it being all fluffy and whatnot. Also a great new chapter, been following the fic for a quite a while.

[Bagheera]

I was gonna do a separate story for this, but I had an idea for doing it in my usual style and decided to run with it. Here's the first chapter:

SPOILER: Show

June 24, 2032
Shinji looked toward oncoming traffic, then hit the gas pedal and steered Misato's car outside of the hospital parking lot. He merged into the flow of traffic as he headed home.
Asuka took a look at his profile. He was wearing sunglasses, and his hair was long and ragged. His hands gripped the steering wheel tightly. She shifted gingerly, mindful of her tender belly. "Where is she?" she asked.
"Misato's looking after her," he said. "Misato and Kaji."
"I see," she said. "Like we agreed, then."
He nodded. "Yes."
Several moments went by. "Have you seen her?" she asked.
He glanced her way, then back at the road. His grip on the steering wheel tightened. "No," he said.
She frowned. "Shinji, it's not her fault," she said.
"I know that!" he snapped. He took a deep breath, and his voice softened. "Of course I know that. But I can't help it. She . . . " He trailed off, unsure how to continue.
"I know," Asuka said. She sighed. "Misato's right," she said. "We really are too attached to one another."
He glanced at her. "Is that such a bad thing?" he asked.
She shrugged. "It is when we hurt ourselves because of it."
He hunched down in his seat. "Well, what does she expect?" he asked. "I mean, after Third Impact . . . "
Asuka nodded. "Yeah," she said. "Yeah. We were all alone, and we hurt so much . . . " She frowned, thinking. "I never thought I'd grow to like you back then," she said. "I hated you so much . . . how do you hate someone when you need them so desperately?"
"How should I know?" he asked. He shifted in his seat. "I was always afraid of you, afraid and worried. I didn't know how to be anything else."
"And yet, here we are." Her mouth quirked in a smile. "Is this what love is?" she mused. "Need, and affection?"
He frowned. "That's oversimplifying things," he said. "There's worry, too. And desire."
She raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"
"Stop it," he said, scowling at her. "You know what I mean. It's concern, and wanting to be close."
Several moments passed in silence. "Then," she began, "what about Ryuko?"
Shinji sucked in a breath.
She waited a beat. "Well?" she asked.
He scowled at her. "Of course I love her," he said. "She's our daughter."
"Good," she said. She nodded nervously. "Good. Then you'll help me out, right? When I see her, I mean. You'll . . . " she trailed off.
Shinji swallowed. He looked at her, then nodded. "Of course I will," he said.
"Alright then," she said. She settled back into the seat, and her hand came to rest over her mauled stomach. She closed her eyes, and eventually her breathing evened out as she fell asleep.
Shinji kept his eyes facing forward, resolute, as he continued onward toward the residence of Misato Katsuragi.

These kids just don't know how to do anything the easy way . . .

[Bagheera]

Hmmm, nary a peep on the previous chapter. Ah well, so it goes. Have another:

SPOILER: Show

March 27, 2027
"Damn that Heishiro," Asuka complained. "He's so annoying!"
Kyoko nodded. "Yes, well, teenaged boys are like that."
"He's not even a teenager yet," Asuka noted. "And why should I have to babysit him, anyway?"
Kyoko shrugged. "You're the one who agreed to help them out," she noted. "Against my objections, I might add."
"Tch," Asuka said. "Misato's family to me, even if she isn't to you."
"Even so," Kyoko said, "this is your own doing."
Asuka glowered at her, then sighed and let it go.
Kyoko glanced at her daughter sidelong. "That aside," she said, "this is good practice for you."
Asuka blinked. "Eh?"
"For when you have children of your own, I mean," Kyoko clarified.
Asuka made a sour face. "I don't want children. Like, ever."
Kyoko pulled back at that. "Never?" she asked.
"Nope," Asuka said, shaking her head. "Can't stand the things."
Kyoko smirked at her. "Oh, c'mon. They're not so bad."
Asuka glared at her mother. "Even the babies?" she asked.
"Even the babies," Kyoko said, nodding.
Asuka shrugged. "I don't care," she said. "I want nothing to do with them."
"That's a shame," Kyoko said. She frowned. "Does Shinji feel the same way?"
Asuka stared at her curiously. "Who cares? If I don't want them we aren't gonna have them, simple as that."
"Asuka . . . " Kyoko began. She sighed. "It's not that simple," she said. "If you two want different things . . . " she began.
Asuka stared at her curiously. "What are you getting at?" she asked.
Kyoko sighed. "If he wants children, and you don't, he'll come to resent you if you stand firm. And, by the same token, if he wants them and you give in you'll hate him for forcing your hand."
Asuka blinked. "I . . . it's not like that. We want . . . we . . . "
"You need to be in agreement on this matter," Kyoko said. "it's important. It's one of the most important issues a couple will ever face."
Asuka made a face. "It's not like that!" she said. "he . . . we . . . "
"You what?" Kyoko asked.
Asuka frowned. "Look, it doesn't matter. After Third Impact, we . . . "
"Asuka," Kyoko said. "Listen carefully, because this is important. The fact he was there for you back then? That makes him a good person." She held up a hand. "Yes, I realize this is confusing coming from me, but it's true. He looked out for you, and that's a virtue. But you must realize that that doesn't mean he's a good partner for you. If he doesn't want what you want you'll only wind up destroying one another."
Asuka chewed her lip, but said nothing.
"You need to talk to him about this," Kyoko said.
Asuka fidgeted. "He doesn't care about kids," she said.
"Are you sure?" Kyoko asked. "Have you asked him?"
Asuka fidgeted some more. "Well . . . " she began.
"You can't assume," Kyoko said. "You need to ask him directly."
Asuka ran a hand through her hair in frustration. "Fine," she said. "Fine! I get it! Stop lecturing me!"
"So you'll talk to him?" Kyoko asked.
Asuka nodded.
"And soon," Kyoko went on.
Asuka's brows knit. "I know mother. Jeez, let it go, will you?"
"Sorry," Kyoko said, holding up a hand. "Sorry. It's just, it's important, you know?"
Asuka huffed. "Parents are annoying," she said.
Kyoko smirked. "It's only because we're looking out for you, you know," she said.
Asuka glared at her and growled, and Kyoko couldn't help but laugh.

More to come soon!

[pwhodges]

Do you actually see these in the same continuity as the rest? If not, surely a separate thread would be better.

Anyway, I like the two scenes; but at present that's all they are. What will be interesting is how they got from one scene to the other - did they have an accident; was an accident contrived (shudder!); did one agree to compromise, spontaneously or under persuasion; how do they each feel about it whichever it was?

[Bagheera]

Same continuity, yes.

[Bagheera]

Yay, momentum!

SPOILER: Show

November 21, 2031
Misato closed the door behind her and leaned against it. She closed her eyes and breathed a heavy sigh.
"Is something wrong?" Kaji asked. He sat at the kitchen table, his laptop before him and various charts and graphs strewn across the surface.
Misato opened her eyes. "No," she said, shaking her head. "It's just . . . " She looked at him directly. "Asuka is pregnant," she said.
Kaji's jaw dropped open in surprise, but he recovered quickly. "Er, how?"
Misato just stared at him.
Kaji shook his head. "No, I mean, she's on birth control, isn't she? To manage her periods?"
"I dunno," Misato said, shrugging. "Sometimes it just doesn't work, no matter how careful you are. But regardless, she's pregnant."
"Wow." Kaji dropped his hands to his lap, and laughed ruefully. "That's rather painfully ironic, given our circumstances."
"Yeah," Misato agreed. A wistful look played across her features, but then she smiled and crossed the room to sit beside him. "I actually wanted to talk to you about that."
"Oh?" he asked.
She nodded. "Yeah. See, the thing is, Asuka's not exactly . . . fit to be a parent right now. Maybe not ever. She's made a lot of progress, but even so she still has nightmares, and she's still temperamental. With a child . . . " She shook her head. "I just can't trust her with that responsibility. And she doesn't trust herself, either; she doesn't want children to begin with, but with everything else on top of it . . . there's no way she can do it. Her job and her mom and Shinji are all she can manage, and even that's pushing it."
Kaji nodded thoughtfully. "I don't disagree," he said. "So what will she do? Get rid of it?"
Misato bit her lip, then shook her head. "I don't think so," she said. "She hasn't spelled it out or anything, but I don't think that's an option for her."
Kaji stroked his chin. "Adoption, then?"
Misato shook her head again. "I don't think she could handle that, either. To give up her child, never able to see it again . . . it would wreck her. She'd feel like she'd failed at yet another task, and there's no way she can handle that."
Kaji frowned. "So what's left?"
Misato licked her lips. "Well, that's where we come in. I was thinking, maybe we could . . . " She trailed off, leaving the thought hanging.
"Us?" Kaji asked, surprised.
Misato nodded eagerly. "It would be perfect!" she said. "We've been trying to have children for years, and they live right down the hall! They could see the child whenever they want, and help raise it when they feel up to it . . . it's the perfect solution!"
"Assuming they agree," he said. He sounded skeptical.
She grabbed his arm. "They will!" she said. "I'm sure they will."
"Hmmm."
Several moments passed in silence as Kaji digested Misato's words. Eventually she squeezed his arm and asked, "Well?"
Kaji looked at her and sighed. "Well, it's not like I can say no to you when you're this excited about it. And I can work from home anyway these days, so I'll certainly have the time. So if they're okay with it, then sure, why not?"
"Yay!" Misato clapped her hands.
"Heishiro's handling the dirty diapers, though," he said, smirking.
She scowled at him. "Kaji!"
He shrugged. "What? It'll be good practice for him."
She shook her head. "You're incorrigible."

"I said no, mother!" Asuka said, fuming. "That is absolutely not an option, and I don't want to hear another word about it!"
Kyoko sighed, massaging her temples. When she spoke her voice was strained. "Will you at least explain why you feel that way?" she asked.
Asuka glared at her, then closed her eyes. She took a deep breath and willed herself to relax. After a moment she opened her eyes and said, "Everyone I've ever depended on has abandoned me. Everyone! You, father, Misato, Kaji, Nerv . . . " She glanced at Shinji. "Well, not him, he just didn't do anything useful when I needed it--"
"Hey!" he exclaimed.
She winced. "Sorry, I meant back then." She turned back to her mother. "Anyway, they all threw me away like garbage, like I was worthless. I won't do that to another human being. Not now, not ever. Never!"
The venom in her voice was undeniable, and Kyoko was forced to relent. "Alright," she said, holding up her hands. "Fine, you win. But you realize that leaves us in a predicament, right? We need to--" She was interrupted by a knock at the door. She looked at it in exasperation as Shinji crossed the room to open it. When he did, they saw Misato and Kaji standing on the other side.
"Hiya kids!" Misato chirped.
"Hey Misato," Shinji said, smiling at her. "We were just discussing . . . " he waved his hands uselessly. "Current events, I guess. Come on in."
Misato nodded at him, as she and Kaji entered the apartment. "What a coincidence!" she said. "Kaji and I came here to talk to you about exactly that!"
Shinji's eyes widened at her tone. "Uh-oh."
Misato flashed them all a wide, toothy grin. "Don't worry, everything's going to be fine. I have an idea!"
Shinji and Asuka groaned, while Kyoko buried her head in her hands. "God help us all," she mumbled.
Misato just giggled. "Pretend you have faith in me!" she said. "Here's what I'm thinking . . . "

[pwhodges]

Yes, that's good, but there's one thing I'd change. It seems unnecessary to spell out an unusually potent and controlled approach to birth control, and then have it fail because of a bad batch - it doesn't contribute to the story. Better I think just to say that yes, they were using birth control, but y'know, if you're unlucky it can fail even if you're careful - and leave it at that.

[Bagheera]

Fair enough. Easy enough fix; see what you think of the edit.

[pwhodges]

I prefer that; but maybe a little more expansion! How about: "Sometimes it just doesn't work however careful you are. But regardless..."

[Bagheera]

I prefer that; but maybe a little more expansion! How about: "Sometimes it just doesn't work however careful you are. But regardless..."

I changed that, and I moved the date ahead one month (since it's unlikely Asuka would learn she's pregnant at the very beginning of her pregnancy).

[Literary Eagle]

I usually avoid cutesy fluffy fics about Asuka having kids (one of the upcoming chapters of my fic will make me seem... slightly hypocritical about this, but oh well ), however a more realistic take on Asuka in this situation sounds very interesting! I'm really enjoying it so far. Please keep up the good work!

[Bagheera]

Hmmm. Not the chapter I expected to write, but it's the one that called out to me at the time. Back on track tomorrow (er, later today), I guess.

SPOILER: Show

June 25, 2032
Asuka entered the living room, drawing her robe around her. Moonlight trickled into the room, illuminating its sole occupant standing a few feet from the window. "What are you doing?" she asked, yawning. "Why aren't you in bed with me?"
Shinji jumped at the sound of her voice. "S-sorry," he said, looking at her. He turned away from her, looking at the floor. "Sorry," he repeated.
Asuka frowned. "What's wrong with you?" she asked. "You haven't been like this in years."
He shrugged.
Asuka crossed the room to stand beside him. She crossed her arms and glared at him. "Well?" she asked.
He winced, then relented. "You almost died, Asuka!"
She sighed. "Yes, I'm aware. I was there, remember? But I'm fine now."
"You don't understand," he said.
Her brows knit. "And just what exactly don't I understand?"
"You were screaming!" he yelled. "There was blood everywhere, and you were screaming, and nobody would tell me what was going on, and, and . . . " He broke off, on the verge of hysteria.
She grabbed his shoulders, giving him a shake. "Hey!" she said. "Calm down, will you? I'm right here! You don't have to worry about anything anymore, alright?" She drew him close, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Just relax, will you? I'm fine, I'm not going anywhere."
He buried his face in her neck as his arms closed around her. "I . . . didn't handle it well," he said. "I yelled at Misato, and the doctors, and . . . everyone, I guess. I felt like I lost my mind."
"Well, that's only natural," she said. She stroked the back of his head, holding him close. "I'd be the same way, probably worse."
"Yeah," he said, laughing. "You'd be screaming at everyone. But I'm supposed to be the nice one! I'm not supposed to be . . . to be going crazy like that."
"Tch," she said. "When someone you love is in danger you panic, it's beyond your control. Anyone would be like that."
"Yeah," he said. "I guess you're right. But . . . "
She pulled at him. "Come on," she said. "Come to bed. We have to see Ryuko tomorrow, and I don't want to be sleepy when we do."
He fidgeted. "I'm so nervous about that," he said. "What do I--"
"You can't possibly be more nervous than I am," she said, exasperated. "That's why I need you with me now. So stop moping and work with me here."
Shinji closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Right!"
With that she led him back into the bedroom, to sleep as best they could.

[Literary Eagle]

Oh my, what a nightmarish situation! I'm not surprised Shinji freaked out when that happened. But Asuka and the baby were okay in the end, so that's the important thing. That's what I like about this story... it's a more realistic take on a Shinji and Asuka relationship, and sometimes things get really difficult or even downright scary for them... but they always pull through.

[Bagheera]

This is getting to be a habit . . .

SPOILER: Show

March 30, 2027
"Shinji?" Asuka asked. She was at the kitchen table, her hands splayed out across it.
"What is it?" he asked, distracted. He was making dinner, and was focused on the food before him.
"Come here, will you?" she asked. "There's something I want to ask you."
He frowned. "Alright, give me a sec," he said. He finished putting the rice in the cooker, then stirred the noodles before he did as she asked. "What's on your mind?" he asked, sitting before her.
"I had a conversation with my mother a few days ago," she said. She blushed. "It was . . . " she coughed. "Well, it was about children," She said. "She suggested I make sure we're on the same page about the subject, so . . . " She shrugged, trailing off.
Shinji bit his lip. "Oh," he said. "Well . . . "
Asuka stared at him nervously. "You know I don't want them, right? I mean, I hate children, and I . . . they . . . "
Shinji nodded. "I know."
She frowned. "But what do you think?"
He ran a hand through his hair, then sighed. "I don't know, Asuka. Part of me wants to be a good father, to correct the mistakes my father made, and yet . . . "
She leaned forward. "And yet?" she asked.
He shrugged. "Between you, and your mother, and my work, I just don't know if I could handle it. I don't even know if I'd want to. It's just . . . overwhelming, I guess? There's too much going on, I can't even think about it."
She bit her lip. "But does that mean you want it? I mean--"
"I don't know!" he said, exasperated. "If it happened, maybe I'd be okay with it, but apart from that I don't even know."
She frowned. "I don't know how I'm supposed to interpret that."
He spread his hands. "Why are you so concerned about it?"
"Idiot!" she said. "It's because I care about your opinion!"
He stared at her, startled, then smiled. "Of course you do," he said. "As expected. It's fine, Asuka. If you don't want children, that's fine with me. I'm satisfied."
"Really?" she asked.
He nodded. "Yes. I really am."
"But--" she began.
He shook his head. "No buts," he said. "I'm happy with what I have. If I get more I'll deal with it, but apart from that what I have is good."
She breathed a sigh of relief. "Okay," she said. "I'm glad."
He smiled at her. "As if I could ever go against you," he said.
She frowned, and he laughed, then grabbed her hand. "Idiot," he said.

. . . as habits go, I'll take it.

[pwhodges]

Such a confident Shinji; it's almost unnatural!

A tiny detail: I'd change "correct the mistakes father made" either by saying "my father" or by writing "Father" with a capital.

[Literary Eagle]

Mmm, I wouldn't say it's that unnatural... Shinji has his moments of assertiveness, and also this is an older Shinji here. (Plus he was still showing some signs of nervousness or uncertainty in this chapter.) If anything, it's probably paving the way for Shinji finding out that parenthood is even more difficult than anticipated... but I'm sure he'll pull through, like he always does. Eventually.

[Bagheera]

I think Paul was being ironic.

Anyway, minor edits up. Probably more later today . . .

[pwhodges]

Sorry - low-key English humour...

[Literary Eagle]

Nah, my fault for posting before I had caffeine.

[Bagheera]

And the habit continues . . .

SPOILER: Show

November 21, 2031
Shinji looked up at the sound of Asuka's retching. "That's the third time this week," he observed.
"Gah," she said. "I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't even feel sick, just . . . " She flushed the toilet, then exited the bathroom.
Shinji frowned. "You should see a doctor," he said.
She scoffed at him. "Why?" she asked. "I don't need--"
Shinji just folded his arms, staring at her.
"Look," she began, "It's fine, I--"
Shinji said nothing, continuing to stare at her.
"I don't even see why you're making a big deal of this, it's just --"
Shinji's stare intensified.
Asuka gave up. "Fine!" she exclaimed. "I'll see the damn doctor! Quit badgering me about it!"
Shinji rolled his eyes and sighed, then turned back to making lunch bentos for the both of them.

"You're pregnant," the doctor said.
Asuka stared at her, stunned. "That's impossible," she said.
The doctor quirked an eyebrow. "Your body seems to disagree," she said mildly.
"You don't understand," Asuka began. "I'm on birth control, for my periods. I can't even get pregnant."
The doctor shrugged. "I can show you an ultrasound, if you like."
Asuka shook her head. "It's impossible," she said.
The doctor sighed. "Fine," she said. "Let's find out, shall we?"

The doctor grinned. "There it is," she said, indicating the ultrasound. "Everything looks normal."
Asuka's eyes widened. "Impossible," she said.
"Nine weeks along, I'd say," the doctor went on. "Congratulations!"
Asuka closed her eyes. "Shit." she said. "Shit shit SHIT!"
"Is there a problem?" the doctor asked, taken aback.
Asuka glared at her. "Of course there's a problem!" she exclaimed. "I can't even manage my own life, let alone a child's." She slammed a fist into the table. "God damn it!"
The doctor smiled at her. "I'm sure you'll manage," she said. "Lots of women feel overwhelmed at this stage, but most--"
"Most women haven't had their minds raped by Angels!" Asuka snapped. "Most women haven't died. Most women . . . " she trailed off, incoherent with helplessness and rage.
The doctor grabbed her by the shoulders. "Hey!" she said. She gave the woman a shake. "Hey!" Asuka faltered, then met her gaze. "Take it easy," she said. "You are not alone, remember? You have friends, family! They'll help you through this."
Asuka scoffed at her. "Like they know anything about raising a child," she said.
The doctor smiled mildly. "Nobody's born with that knowledge, Ms. Soryu. It's a process, you know? As long as you have people willing to help you out you should do fine."
Asuka glared at her. "You don't understand," she said. "You don't understand anything at all."

Edit: Gah, that was terrible. I gotta remember to run things past beta readers before posting them. This version's a bit better.