[CYOA] Eva Station 13

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Doctor Memory
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Postby Doctor Memory » Tue Mar 11, 2014 7:15 am

((I've been stuck for weeks on how to (mis)interpret Walpurgis(NOT), so fuck it. Sorry. As for what happened to the entire month of February...
DUNGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Leveling Multiple Paladins is Highly Addictive and Dangerous to Your CYOA's Health))

Last time on Eva Station 13:

"Help me Mari Makinami! You're my only hope!"

"You know, I think we're all bozos on this shuttle."

"The clown cannot honk if you disable his hand."

*monkeys screeching*

"バーバババン!! バーニングー魂!!"

"Mari-chan, I'm pregnant with your space babies!"

"What can brown do for you, ladies?"

And now, the thrilling conclusion!

You prostrate yourself before Madoka and beg forgiveness for your wayward science experiment. Words awkwardly tumble from your lips in an attempt to convey your good intentions. You offer to present your collected data over drinks, if that's not too much trouble. Somewhere in there, you might have let slip something about voices in your head telling you to do things from time to time.

She stares at you for a moment like one might stare at sentient cow who just ordered beef lo mein. She tells you to wait here while she fetches something in Medbay.

You slouch into a pew and ponder whether you've pissed her off. She seems like the sort of person who would conceal their anger with surprise. You try to console yourself with the notion that she's probably straight. Probably. "Oh, God, please don't let her be straight." You wait a moment to see if your prayer is answered by some sort of divine lesbian dating service.

...

No such luck, apparently.

You stand up and resolve to get reacquainted with your old friends Johnnie Walker and Jack Daniels.

*Beep-Beep*
)} LOCATE BOOZE

Your PDA gives you the distance and relative direction of the nearest bar. Fortunately, it's right next to the chapel. The name of this joint is apparently Опьянение Властью. You suppose that's an attempt at a clever pun.

This deep into corporate territory, 'dive bar' becomes tricky to define. Yet, any NERV-owned drinking establishment invariably devolves into something one could call a dive bar. You're surprised by the lack of vodka displayed on the shelves. What doesn't surprise you is the lack of patrons. Over half of this station's population is probably still lying bruised and bleeding outside of Medbay.

The bar's only patron wears a NERV-standard janitor's jumpsuit. He mumbles something about cleaning up and starts to leave. As he passes you, he hands over a screwdriver. "Forgot you might need that," he says simply. It's that strange man from post #689864! How did he get here? You follow him out into the corridor, but he literally disappears around a corner.

You return to the bar and sit at the stool vacated by Strange Vanishing Janitor Man. The barkeep's ID reads Ryouji Kaji. He looks at you expectantly.

You say:

1) "Vodka Martini. Shaken, not shirred."
2) "Beware the ides of March."
3) "Ground Control to Major Tom."
4) "In London, April's a spring month."
5) "I'm looking for a Mr. Johnson."
6) "Who was that guy just now?"

((Updates will likely be in the 48-96 hour frequency range from now on. My attention is presently divided between Star Trek Armada 3 and a very annoying bug in [Byond] Eva Station 13. Assuming I make any progress with the later, expect a new thread about that soon.))
(Don't) Excuse Me UhClem, But You're (Not) Making the Doctor (Un)Happy.

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Postby Oxopoha » Thu Mar 13, 2014 12:51 am

3) "It was a Godawful small affair, for the girl with the red/brown hair."
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Postby Agentomega » Thu Mar 13, 2014 6:19 pm

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Postby MAGI_01 » Fri Mar 14, 2014 12:21 am



This.
"If it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid." - Me
"Has anyone ever told you how pretty your eyes are?" - Akio's most famous line.
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Postby Doctor Memory » Fri Mar 14, 2014 9:37 pm

"Vodka Martini. Shaken, not stirred."

"It's a godawful small affair to the girl with the mousey hair."

"Ah, Bowie. So, is there life on Mars?"

"Only after 10 PM."

You chuckle. "That's not the next code phrase."

"But the script is a saddening bore. We've lived it ten times or more."

"Alright, alright. Glory to Arstotzka, comrade. And what does the Ministry of Intelligence want from me this time?"

"Ideally--"

"I 'ope ze weazer stays zis mild..."

"The hell?"

Kaji reaches under the bar and produces a dismembered head. The head wears a dark blue balaclava and its neck stump is connected to an unfamiliar device. Kaji places it on the bar top where it smokes a cigarette and eyes you suspiciously.

"I say again, what the hell?"

"Caught him planting sappers near the primary test chamber."

"Mais non! Lies an' slander! Human resources will 'ear of zis, I assure you!"

"How is... he... still alive?"

"Did you see what they have in Medbay?"

"Not really. I was in a bit of a hurry to leave."

"I demand you release me at once! I 'ave diplomatic pierogies!"

"Alright, back in the fridge."

"...please kill me..."

"Later." The head is shoved somewhere under the bar. "Where was I?"

"My job?"

"Right. The Ministry of Intelligence wants you steal some of NERV's bluespace technology."

"Couldn't you do that yourself?"

"They don't want just any bluespace tech. They want the crystals you'll be using in today's experiment. None of the machines in the test chamber can be hacked externally, and you're the only one with clearance to enter."

A) Accept Kaji's job
B) Decline Kaji's job
C) Decide later

1) Consult the schedule for today's experiment
2) Ask about the dismembered head
3) Ask Kaji for some dirt on another crew member (please specify)
4) Explain how difficult it is to smuggle bluespace crystals out of the chamber
5) Tell Kaji to hurry up with that martini
6) Leave
(Don't) Excuse Me UhClem, But You're (Not) Making the Doctor (Un)Happy.

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Postby Agentomega » Sat Mar 15, 2014 11:32 am

A3, Madoka "Y-you sunk my battleship!"
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Postby Oxopoha » Sun Mar 16, 2014 12:40 am

A5 Muh vices. Removing [s]Kolech[/s] crystals from a secure room can't be that hard.
"Shinji Ikari: Eroge Meta-Protagonist" - Agentomega
Just what you'd expect from the master Mr. Anno

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Postby Doctor Memory » Tue Mar 18, 2014 9:06 am

"Let's assume for the moment that I take the job. How much do I get?"

"The usual fee."

"No no no. This is an unusual job. I require an unusual fee."

"OK, make me an offer."

"I'm not going to haggle... For starters, you could hurry up with that martini."

"Oooh. I've never known you to hit the sauce this early."

"Something tells me I'll need to be very drunk today. A little more vermouth than that."

"I heard you've had quite the day already."

"You have no idea... Or perhaps you do, Comrade Spy. Tell me what you know of Madoka Kaname."

"Hmm..." Kaji slides you your drink. "I don't know her personally, but I've read her file."

"That'll do." You start chugging.

"Okay, let's see..." He pauses to mix the second drink. "Graduated summa cum laude from Mars University, Bachelor of Science majoring in medicine. Told the NERV recruiter she wanted to work as a grief counselor. UNSC put her on a 2 year medical training tour, after which she was given the rank of Civilian Lieutenant." That's the same rank as yours, equivalent to NATO OR-8. "CentCom's been bouncing her around ever since. They want her to pursue an in-house research degree so NERV can keep the patents. She's been giving H.R. hell about that."

"Lemme guess: Normally very pleasant but when pushed, she goes for the throat?"

"Dunno. Personality eval rated her as very mild-mannered. One of those 'lead from behind' types."

"Yeah. Eternally shining smiles hiding a limited tolerance for bullshit. Probably dominant in the bedroom and kinky as hell." You down your second martini. "Fuck me with a serrated spade."

"Did something happen between you two?"

"Typical middle-school-tier shenanigans. She backhanded me for it."

"Did you apologize?"

"Of course! But she made some excuse and left the room. I think I really pissed her off."

1) Continue to agonize about Madoka
2) Consult the schedule for today's experiment
3) Ask Kaji for some dirt on a different person (please specify)
4) Return to the topic of industrial espionage
5) Show Kaji the Shuffleparser and ask about the janitor/Strange Man
6) Leave
(Don't) Excuse Me UhClem, But You're (Not) Making the Doctor (Un)Happy.

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Postby Oxopoha » Tue Mar 18, 2014 5:28 pm

3)? Ask about anyone we might have to work closely with.
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Postby Doctor Memory » Sat Mar 22, 2014 10:12 am

"Enough about that. Tell me about the other researchers on the bluespace team."

"The project leader is Eli Maxwell. His credentials aren't at all impressive but he owns a sizable share of NERV stocks. For all practical purposes, the team is lead by Walter Klein, who designed the equipment you'll be using."

"Anything I'd be familiar with?"

"No idea. The technical jargon went over my head."

"I'm guessing I can look it up on my own, since I'm cleared for the chamber."

"Correct. Next is Erik Rosenberg. He's written multiple papers on macro-teleportation and is considered NERV's foremost bluespace expert."

"The famous theoretician. I know quite a bit about him already. He was the first to predict the existence of bluespace crystals. The process which creates them is called Rosenberg condensation."

"Why are you asking me about this again?"

"I need dirt, Mr. Spy. Some kind of leverage. I can't steal one of the rarest materials known to science without some help. You can't just forge a supply manifest stating CentCom sent you the wrong number of crystals. They're all made in the lab. I need someone to cook up a few extra that never get documented, preferably during the experiment so that I have an alibi."

"In that case I'd recommend Martin Vance. Seems to value his family more than his career. You might be able to turn some screws on him."

"I imagine you'd be a lot better at that then I would. You tell him how many crystals you want him to make and I'll pick them up for you. Consider whatever you have to do to recruit him to be part of my unusual fee."

"Ugh. This could easily blow my budget by a wide margin."

"You're getting your money's worth. Besides, it's not really your money, is it?"

"Good point. Hmm... If I can get Vance to defect, that would justify the expense."

"And everyone lived happily ever after in class-6 apartment modules."

A) Continue drinking vodka martinis
B) Drink something else (please specify and include the recipe)
C) That's enough alcohol for now

1) Check the details for today's experiment and look up Dr. Vance on the intra-station network.
2) Ask Kaji for some dirt on a different person (please specify)
3) Show Kaji the Shuffleparser and ask about the janitor/Strange Man
4) Leave
(Don't) Excuse Me UhClem, But You're (Not) Making the Doctor (Un)Happy.

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Postby MAGI_01 » Mon Apr 14, 2014 10:38 pm

A) 1)
"If it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid." - Me
"Has anyone ever told you how pretty your eyes are?" - Akio's most famous line.
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Postby Oxopoha » Tue Apr 15, 2014 1:37 pm

A) 1)
(It's alive!)
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Postby Doctor Memory » Sun Apr 20, 2014 8:21 pm

((Oh, crap! Someone poked it when I wasn't looking... for almost a whole month... again... Anyway, three guesses as to what's been occupying my time. Here's a hint:))

Greetings. Magos Yoshitus Pious here. I apologize for the delay in completing this latest Holy Upgrade, but we were waylaid by heretics during our analysis of the Square of Unfinality space hulk. You'll be pleased to know that Shuffleparsing and AR Mode are now permanently integrated into the user interface.

You look up today's schedule on your PDA. The bluespace experiment has been canceled pending an investigation into this morning's ruckus. The Head of Security wants you to give a statement. Legal counsel can be provided if you wish it.

1) Schedule an interview with Security
2) Make an appointment with the station's lawyer
3) Schedule a lunch date with Dr. Vance
4) Pencil in 'Shenanigans' for this afternoon
5) Spend the whole day in the bar

Using the SCREWDRIVER and some inventory magic, you combine your SPARE GLASSES and the AR GOGGLES to create PRESCRIPTION GOGGLES.

A) Activate AR Mode
B) Shuffleparse )}__________
C) Refrain

You have acquired the TIPSY trait.
(Don't) Excuse Me UhClem, But You're (Not) Making the Doctor (Un)Happy.

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Postby Agentomega » Sun Aug 31, 2014 12:42 pm

Oh my, I've clearly not read this in ages. Well, assuming it's only dormant and not actually necrotic...

2A!
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Postby Oxopoha » Mon Sep 01, 2014 11:41 pm

2a) seems reasonable.
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Postby Doctor Memory » Wed Sep 03, 2014 4:58 pm

You activate AR Mode. Your vision is assaulted with contextual AR tags.

You sit upon a STOOL in the BAR. Behind the bar is a LOT OF BOOZE. Tending bar is Ryouji Kaji, whom you know to be a Spy. He likely carries CONCEALED IMPLIMENTS.
Off in the corner of your vision is a tag for NO TEA. Why this is rendered as an environmental object rather that an inventory item is unknown.

You grab your PDA and look up the station's CREW MANIFEST. The station's defense counselor is listed as Phoenix Wright. Sounds a bit pretentious... You TEXT Mr. Wright asking for an appointment.
His reply is delayed by a few minutes.

I'm with the clown right now. I'll see you when I'm done here.

You'd like to speak with the Lawyer NOW if possible, so you'll have to track down Dennis.
1) Check MEDBAY. He's probably still being patched up.
2) Check the BRIG. Shitcurity might have dragged him there.

Or maybe you'd rather wait a bit...
3) TEXT the Lawyer back and tell him to meet you in the BAR.
4) On second thought, you'd rather wait in the MESS HALL. Getting tipsy might have been a bad idea.
(Don't) Excuse Me UhClem, But You're (Not) Making the Doctor (Un)Happy.

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Postby Agentomega » Wed Sep 03, 2014 5:24 pm

4) Might as well go to the MESS HALL to try and CONSUME some CARBOHYDRATES to get rid of the tipsy debuff. Sit at the BAR too long and you might end up alongside Mr. Wright at the trial. That was a joke. Also, CONSIDER finding a SETTING for the AR Tags. The colour scheme is making you a bit dizzy.
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Postby Oxopoha » Wed Sep 03, 2014 9:33 pm

4) You're looking too skinny CJ.
(I'm not doing the multicolored thing)
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Postby MAGI_01 » Wed Sep 03, 2014 9:42 pm

4)
"If it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid." - Me
"Has anyone ever told you how pretty your eyes are?" - Akio's most famous line.
Akio in Lance of LoL's Rebuild RP
Steam/PSN: MAGI_01 Origin: MAGI_02
Avatar: Mephisto Pheles.
Interested in a FMA based RP? Then check this out!

Doctor Memory
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Postby Doctor Memory » Fri Sep 05, 2014 12:17 pm

You TEXT the Lawyer, telling him to meet you in the MESS HALL when he's ready. To avoid more encounters from Shitcurity, you take the back way through the DORMS.

The MESS HALL is unsurprisingly devoid of patrons. To your dismay, you notice the kitchen staff is also absent. The BUFFET is well-stocked, if a bit unappetizing.

1) Use your KLEPTOMAX to assemble an assortment of RELATIVELY HEALTHY FOODSTUFFS from the BUFFET

2) You could SEARCH through the many ABANDONED MEALs to see if there's anything more interesting

3) You have just enough SPACE BUCKS to BUY up to two items from the VENDING MACHINE:
A) Regenigreat Frozen Waffle Treats
B) Chicky Cantor's Golden Egg Salad Sandwich
C) Bacon-flavored churros
D) Sprintz Sportz Gum with Speedizol
E) Spunky Cola
F) Duke Purple Tea
(Don't) Excuse Me UhClem, But You're (Not) Making the Doctor (Un)Happy.


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