The Worst Thing Ever: An Actual Eva Hentai OVA. (No Link)

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The Worst Thing Ever: An Actual Eva Hentai OVA. (No Link)

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Postby Squigsquasher » Fri Dec 20, 2013 4:41 pm

Well, I've seen it all.

In 1995, studio...Ahem...GUYMAX made a fully-animated (if you can call it that) 12-minute long hentai short called The Human Instrumentality Project. Hilarity ensues.

Basically, Gendo calls Shinji to his office, where almost the entire cast are bonking each other. Then Shinji gets forced into it.

That's it.

Oh, there are so many things wrong with this, so let's take it from the top shall we?

NOTE: This being a hentai OVA, the descriptions will be rather...colourful, hence the spoiler. Normally I wouldn't bother with this, but this is such a significant find, and it's so awful, it needs proper documentation.

NSFW  SPOILER: Show
The cast:

Shinji: The "hero" of the piece. Forced to join in with Gendo's orgy. Can't decide whether he's his usual bashful, prudish self or if he's just going to get on and join in with the fucking. For some bizarre reason, he's voiced by a guy, and instead of Megumi Ogata's dulcet tones, we have one of the most annoying, whiny voices known to man. Seriously, the guy voicing Shinji is so bad he's practically unwatchable. Easily the worst voice in the entire thing. Which is funny considering the real Shinji has a voice that could soothe a rabid lion. Or at least, in Japanese.

Misato: The only character who sounds remotely like her original self. Even when being porked from all angles, can't resist a "saabisu, saabisu!".

GENDO: Maintains his pose throughout the entire thing. Literally, the entire video. Whilst being fellated. Frighteningly in-character.

Rei: Dear god, what have they done to her? Casually walks in smiling and immediately starts trying to get Shinji to bone her. Partially succeeds. Only complaint about getting spooged in the face is that "It's a little yellow...". DEAR GOD. Also sounds nothing like she should.

Asuka: Suddenly a shag-happy genki girl. Until a bunch of random bridge bunnies and Kaji give her a faceful (and arseful) of baloney pony, upon which she begins crying. Very unconvincingly.

RITSUKO: Not a lesbian for some reason (Maya is suspiciously absent). Exhibits mild surprise at being repeatedly shagged. Also seemingly teleports onto Shinji's face. What is it with hentai and miraculous position changes?

Kaji: Appears out of nowhere to stuff his progressive sausage in Asuka's poorly drawn mouth. That's it.

HIKARI/TOUJI: The video occasionally cuts to these 2 getting it on. The exact same still frame in fact. What they're doing here is anybody's guess.

PEN-PEN: Mercifully absent.

The voice acting:

Horrendous, to put it mildly. Shinji is easily the worst, sounding like a wangsty 19 year old with a cold. For fuck's sake, is it that hard to find a woman who can do a passable little boy voice?

The animation:

Good grief. The animation is beyond terrible. Numerous off-model moments, overuse of still frames and reused footage, a repeated clip of very, VERY crudely drawn intercourse in what looks like Tron graphics, and to top it all off, a very dodgy idea of how plugsuits work (according to these people, the central piece is just a one-piece swimsuit that isn't attached to the legs or arms at all and can be pushed out of the way for superior bonking). It even reuses footage from the actual show (to be precise, Gendo smirking from under his palms).

Plot: I think there was one, judging by the interrupting text crawls. Whatever it was, it was about as deep as Shinji's chest- that is to say, non-existent.

Fappability: Makes use of awful light beam censorship, and the shagging is too crudely animated to be titillating anyway. Coupled with the over-abundance of poorly drawn fluids, crappy animation, horrible voice acting and...interesting attitudes to character, this is completely unfappable.


Overall, an absolute mess that is only watchable for bile fascination/laughter.

VERDICT: Release Bakelite.

Fairly obviously, I am not going to link to it because that would be against the rules; I'm not even sure I should be talking about it. If you want to see the abomination I can PM it to you. Just...make sure you have a therapist lined up.
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Postby Catamari » Fri Dec 20, 2013 4:54 pm

I must see this.

I doubt I'll be able to do anything with it, but it sounds like it's a good laugh.
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Postby The Eva Monkey » Fri Dec 20, 2013 5:05 pm

View Original PostCatamari wrote:I must see this.

You don't need to.

This is older than dirt, many of us are quite well aware of it, we just prefer not to talk about it because of how fucking awful it is. Also, it's far from the only Eva hentai video out there. Between the 2D, 3D, and live action Eva porn videos that I've archived (UGH), I've lost track, but they can probably be counted on two hands. They mostly range from bad to terrible. I do a panel called "Eva WTF?" and the terrible 2D porn is the rotten cherry on top.
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Re: The Worst Thing Ever: An Actual Eva Hentai OVA. (No Link

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Postby bobbyfischer's ghost » Fri Dec 20, 2013 5:16 pm

View Original PostSquigsquasher wrote:The Human Instrumentality Project.
:fuyu_facepalm: I can't facepalm enough to represent my distaste for this.Going to need the brain bleach for this. ugh......
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Postby Fireball » Fri Dec 20, 2013 5:22 pm

I remember this. Classic.
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Postby ElMariachi » Fri Dec 20, 2013 5:28 pm

Squig made me curious about it.
I searched for images of it on the Internet.
Found an image of Misato sucking a lightsaber.
Closed the window.
I shall never speak of it ever again.
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Postby Ænimal » Fri Dec 20, 2013 6:48 pm

i thought it was really, really funny. Not genuinely good for a fap, but well done with the production values (almost identical to the original series!)

:kawaii:

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Postby TMBounty_Hunter » Fri Dec 20, 2013 7:11 pm

At least even the crappiest animation takes more effort than cosplay porn. There is a surprisingly massive amount of that in existance.

SPOILER: Show

Not even Sakura is spared

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Postby Lord ikari shinji » Fri Dec 20, 2013 7:20 pm

SMH :facepalm: :lol:
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Postby GasmaskAvenger » Fri Dec 20, 2013 7:51 pm

The only disappointing aspect of this is the lack of Maya taking a part in the action.

At least she would make sense unlike Toji and Hikari, who are in Nerv HQ for some really stupid reason (Hikari especially).


But yeah, it's not very good fap material, especially the moment when Asuka starts screaming about getting pregnant in the process.
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Postby Dream » Fri Dec 20, 2013 10:07 pm

Sometimes, Squig, you manage to be hilariously adorable.

View Original PostThe Eva Monkey wrote:Also, it's far from the only Eva hentai video out there. Between the 2D, 3D, and live action Eva porn videos that I've archived (UGH),


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Postby lastcody » Sat Dec 21, 2013 12:33 am

pffft you joking this is the BEST thing ever

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Postby Rei IV » Sat Dec 21, 2013 1:16 am

They couldn't add as scene with (fem)Shinji and Kaworu.

:hahaha:

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Postby delispin25 » Sat Dec 21, 2013 2:15 am

Oh man, I've seen this before. It got the job done.

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Postby Mari-Chan » Sat Dec 21, 2013 11:45 am

I saw this Hentai on New Years eve some time after the turn of the Millennium. A friend and I watched the series and we saw an Episode called "The Human Instrumentality Project". I've never heard of something like "Hentai" so we just started the Episode. And yes, a few minutes later we learned much more about the word Hentai.

It's a crappy and cheap production, but the drawings looked very authentic. You can easily say this may be the same team behind the original series. Well, as I said, it's crap, but this infamous Hentai Clip is among many Eva Fans a cult classic ;D
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Postby NemZ » Sat Dec 21, 2013 2:33 pm

Shinji chanting "I mustn't run away" to maintain for as long as he could was hillarious. Just lie back and think of angel battles, apparently. :lol:
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Postby Guy Nacks » Sat Dec 21, 2013 10:46 pm

It's very interesting 'cause the character models look very similar to those used in the actual series, so it really begs the question if part of the production actually worked on this.

But yeah, it fluctuates between being hilariously inept to cringe inducingly bad.

It isn't even that erotic, which is my main gripe with all PWOP material.
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Postby CJD » Tue Dec 24, 2013 4:59 am

People just learning about this? Ya'll need to be bigger perverts. Allegedly, and I say this with big emphasis on the "alleged," there's a longer version out there, but I've never seen it.

View Original PostGuy Nacks wrote:It's very interesting 'cause the character models look very similar to those used in the actual series, so it really begs the question if part of the production actually worked on this.


Rumor has it that, yes, it was actually made by some of the Gainax staff, and given Gainax's origins it's plausible.

View Original PostThe Eva Monkey wrote:Between the 2D, 3D, and live action Eva porn videos that I've archived (UGH)


Got some of Goro's work on there, eh? :lol:
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Postby AngelNo13Bardiel » Tue Dec 24, 2013 5:38 am

Wow...haven't seen that in some time. I'd nearly forgotten about it, to be honest.

But yeah, it's terrible shit. I only get a little chuckle or two out of it.
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Postby driftking18594 » Sun Dec 29, 2013 1:54 pm

Oh my [insert deity here], FEED IT TO THE HARPIES!


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