EGF's House of Lonely Hearts

Yeah. You read right. This is for everything that doesn't have anything to do with Eva.

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Re: EGF's House of Lonely Hearts

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Postby Guy Nacks » Sun Feb 19, 2017 1:57 am

But wait guys, I thought, "Everyone finds love in the end"?

Oops.


If this show weren't inextricably linked to my own romantic issues, I'd probably be less bitter about stuff like this, but it is what it is.
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Re: EGF's House of Lonely Hearts

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Postby Mr. Tines » Sun Feb 19, 2017 3:56 am

View Original PostNemZ wrote:Between the financial realities of living on loans, having barely any free time, and most of my social contact being with people who are hypothetically young enough to be my children... I've pretty much given up on dating entirely until I'm actually a lawyer. (:|
I remember as a grad student at the tender age of 21 finding chatting up the then current intake of freshettes feeling like cradle-snatching, with only a couple of years differential involved, so I understand your pain. But at your age, you should look at the upsides and be working on your Dirty Old Man play instead, while it lasts :devil:

Assuming that you do manage to land a decently remunerated position in due course, there's plenty to be said in favour of a financially well placed ~40 year old man having an ~20 year old wife when it comes to the idea of having a family.
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Re: EGF's House of Lonely Hearts

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Postby NemZ » Sun Feb 19, 2017 6:01 am

Oh, I'm sure that somewhere out there in the growing multitudes of well educated, self-supporting, professional young ladies so frustrated with dating in their own age bracket that many feel compelled to write articles about the problem that I can find a nice Ritsuko of my very own. :emogendo:
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Re: EGF's House of Lonely Hearts

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Postby pwhodges » Sun Feb 19, 2017 11:29 am

View Original PostGuy Nacks wrote:But wait guys, I thought, "Everyone finds love in the end

But when is the end?
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Re: EGF's House of Lonely Hearts

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Postby ran1 » Sun Feb 19, 2017 11:50 am

View Original PostTheFriskyIan wrote:Well still no response. I don't think that I'd be a pest by messaging again, but on the same token, if she wanted to respond I'm sure she would do so.


I wouldn't be so quick to assume. I was juggling 3 partners last year and it was a bit of a hassle to keep up with all the messages while teaching/writing my thesis and going to conferences. I'm now down to two but I've still got to keep them on ice every now and again if I'm on all-night bingers with my students or burning the midnight oil on my soon-due argumentation. I'm pleasantly surprised when women follow up because it means they're still interested in me despite me being too busy to respond last time.

She might have quite a bit on her plate. If she's still in school midterm exams are coming up -- she might just be hitting the books. A quick "how are you doing?" or something to that effect goes a long way. It shows you care, and that's a big part of it all too.
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Re: EGF's House of Lonely Hearts

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Postby Chuckman » Sun Feb 19, 2017 2:13 pm

View Original Postpwhodges wrote:But when is the end?


Or where? :devil:
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Re: EGF's House of Lonely Hearts

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Postby Director Black » Sun Feb 19, 2017 2:34 pm

View Original Postran1 wrote:Better to just ask and get it out of the way. The worst case scenario is that she says "no", which is its own plus because you won't waste any further time on the matter if she happens not to be interested. Best case you win bonus points for a) being direct and confident enough to ask her out and b) in this post-ironic society any attempts at coy ripostes and/or belaboring the question are a one-way ticket to "fuccboi" status.


I have been thinking about asking her via text, but I just feel saying it to her face would be much better. I see it as a chance to actually ask someone in person after trying to ease my shy nature.

ran1 wrote:I used to pull off the ersatz sophisticate "is he or isn't he interested" thing quite well, but unless you're micromanaging the content of every text you send out, it's not even worth it. Also, don't think about it so much. In my experience the over-rehearsed over-thinkers come off as a bit creepy to the opposite sex. I've seen that quality go both ways, especially with New York and all the writers-cum-faux-intellectuals who seem to dominate the dating seen round these parts. Hang it loose homie. Enjoy yo-self.


I think you just described me in a nutshell with the type of pretentious blowhard I can be, but I'm not complaining. :tongue:

I do sometimes think about how to say it, but it's honestly better for someone to be show a good amount of their full feelings to see you're not trying to be a show-off. Like I said, I am by my nature a shy person, but if it does come too long (Maybe it has, or maybe it's just my mind), then I'll ask her out.

It's heartwarming though to see people give me advice, even if it is on a forum.
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Re: EGF's House of Lonely Hearts

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Postby Joseki » Sun Feb 19, 2017 4:04 pm

Talking face to face is always the best option as mere text always cut out important comunicative bits like tone, rhytme, pose, eye contact and so on.
Plus you'll learn a lot of things about yourself while playing "the game".
Don't worry if you say something (or you don't) that may sound to you a bit stupid or strange right after you say it, it always happens. :D
Just enjoy the moment, humans are "politikòn zoon" as Aristotle wrote, so have fun while talking.
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Postby Chuckman » Sun Feb 19, 2017 5:25 pm

People say "be yourself" but that's bad advice, if we were all to "be ourselves" many of us would stop wearing clothes. It's about presenting your best self.

The real advice is: Don't be something you're not.

If doing (or not doing) something comes unnaturally to you, don't do that thing to attract a partner, because you're setting yourself up for disaster. Every relationship begins with both people putting their best foot forward and learning to accept and hopefully love each other's quirks and flaws and imperfections over time, but if you're stuck faking having/not having some of those you won't be happy.
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Re: EGF's House of Lonely Hearts

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Postby Ray » Sun Feb 19, 2017 5:46 pm

View Original PostChuckman wrote:People say "be yourself" but that's bad advice, if we were all to "be ourselves" many of us would stop wearing clothes.


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Re: EGF's House of Lonely Hearts

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Postby Shinoyami65 » Mon Feb 20, 2017 10:20 am

It feels kind of weird that pretty much everyone I've met in university is either in a relationship, has been in a relationship or has had some form of sexual experience. I feel like I don't really have enough time between my course and societies to spend time pursuing romance, and even when I do go out to clubs and suchlike people generally don't pay me much mind. I feel like putting too much effort into it would be counterproductive and would just go against who I am as a person (I really don't enjoy clubbing and alcohol that much tbh, and it would really interfere with my work), but there don't seem to be that many other ways to meet people in the immediate area.
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Re: EGF's House of Lonely Hearts

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Postby Director Black » Mon Feb 20, 2017 1:02 pm

There are other ways to get into a relationship without going to large social gatherings. I've never been much for parties either, and since I'm underage, I have never tried alcohol - and going from many people's descriptions of the taste, I'm hesitant to try it.

If you can take it upon yourself to talk to girls by just initiating a conversation, then you can possibly build it up into something more. But if you really feel like you don't have enough time, then there's always patience. I know this may not sound like much seeing as how I'm underage and have barely lived a full life yet, but it can be good for you in the long run.
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Postby Sachi » Mon Feb 20, 2017 1:49 pm

I would love to have somebody to love. It's been too long since I've been in a proper, guilt-free relationship. But then I remember I work full time and go to school in between, and so I'd personally make a terrible partner simply because I'm so unavailable all the time. The urge for sex is just that, an urge, and I'm not interested in relationships based on sex or hooking up. For now, I shall continue to own my independence and to focus on myself for a while. I think a lot of people would be more happy if they could find contentment in being single.
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Postby TheFriskyIan » Mon Feb 20, 2017 2:27 pm

View Original PostSachi wrote:I think a lot of people would be more happy if they could find contentment in being single.

That means a lot coming from you, considering what you just said about yourself prior. The problem is that line is almost always said by people who are in happy stable relationships and they're always talking about how happy their SO makes them and how their life is so much better because of it. Before your post I never got that comment from a single person. It's downright insulting having to hear couples tell me that, it seemed hypocritical.

Any who, I did get a response back. Supposedly there's plenty of ethnic restaurants in her city that she likes to try out. There's more than enough Starbucks in the city as well, now I'm just too terrified on the obvious next step....
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Postby Chuckman » Mon Feb 20, 2017 4:22 pm

Fear isn't temporary and chicks dig scars.
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Re: EGF's House of Lonely Hearts

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Postby Joy Evangelion » Mon Feb 20, 2017 4:59 pm

View Original PostSachi wrote: I think a lot of people would be more happy if they could find contentment in being single.


This is one of the secrets of the universe. I like to say that you can't expect someone else to make you happy unless you're able to make yourself happy(did Shinji have something to say about this, haha?) I love watching anime and listening to music, and so I do those things alone, and very much happily.

There are times I sit back and wish I had a girl to go for a walk with or something, but then I wouldn't be able to put some New Order on my headphones or walk at my own pace :lol: And maybe this hypothetical partner of mine wouldn't want to sit there will I watch Episode 10 of Madoka for the fifteenth time. Some people just have a "singleness" that's kinda built into them I think, like there are people who are always dating somebody, and there's nothing wrong with either kind of person. And even us "eternally alone" people tend to run into people who like us just fine every once in a while.

Shinoyami65 wrote:It feels kind of weird that pretty much everyone I've met in university is either in a relationship, has been in a relationship or has had some form of sexual experience. I feel like I don't really have enough time between my course and societies to spend time pursuing romance, and even when I do go out to clubs and suchlike people generally don't pay me much mind.


I got ya beat Shino, one of my best friends is engaged and the other is living with his girlfriend of three years...and I haven't gone on a second date in six years! :wink: You're still young and you've got a lot of time to meet someone nice. I'm close to my thirties(ha!) and even I have that mindset.
I don't think clubs/bars are the best place to find love anyway, so I say don't sweat not liking going to those places. I go to a bar a week I'd say and since I don't go up to three girls per hour with the notebook of pickup lines handy I have yet to meet someone interested in dating me for a while.
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Re: EGF's House of Lonely Hearts

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Postby pwhodges » Mon Feb 20, 2017 5:04 pm

View Original PostJoy Evangelion wrote:I like to say that you can't expect someone else to make you happy unless you're able to make yourself happy

When I first married, I'd never lived alone. A while after my divorce (which was over twenty years later) I started going out with the woman who is now my wife; but before we got together she insisted that I must live on my own (at the time I lived in a different city as well) for a year to prove that I could - only then would she agree to live with me. Well, it worked for us (my second marriage is now longer than my first)...
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Postby Shinoyami65 » Tue Feb 21, 2017 1:21 pm

View Original PostSachi wrote:I think a lot of people would be more happy if they could find contentment in being single.


I think the reason I sometimes find myself overcome by the urge to find a relationship is that I don't find much motivation or fulfillment from other things, and part of me feels that finding love would give me a reason to keep moving onwards instead of stagnating. I'm aware that it is much better to become a complete person so and to let relationships occur naturally, but it also feels like I can't become complete (or can't find any motivation to do so, anyway) without a push from someone else.
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Postby Stan » Fri Feb 24, 2017 6:59 pm

Been nearly going out with a girl for 6 months, taking her places, going out on valentine's day - decided to officially ask to date her today, turns out she has a bf. This is disgusting. Fvck life.

I dated enough women in the past, some experiences worst than others, but never like this. I'm broken right now.
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Postby Sachi » Fri Feb 24, 2017 8:25 pm

That's not something she ever brought up before? It seems to me that going out on Valentines Day would have been an appropriate time for her to make it clear she already has a boyfriend. Then again, maybe she was oblivious that you were interested and already had it in her mind that you two would be just friends.
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