EGF's House of Lonely Hearts

Yeah. You read right. This is for everything that doesn't have anything to do with Eva.

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Postby the_seventh_child » Sat Jul 25, 2015 3:59 pm

Honestly it's just so typical what happens with "love"- you're either on the side of those that hurt others, or on the side of those that are being hurt from the others. I've been on both receiving ends and I decided to stay single for a long time and that long time still stands as of today and will keep on standing. Yes, some days are tough and some nights are even tougher but that is the price you pay for figuring out what your heart really wants and seeing things from a different perspective; getting to know yourself more and how it is to depend and handle "you".

For the last couple years, the only guy I truly felt attracted to, was a random guy from the campus- we had to take an exam together, were both complete strangers but we hit it off and wouldn't stop talking about all sorts of stuff and our common interests were surprisingly very high. In the end, I had to get off on a different bus stop and that was it. Had it been a few years before, I would have hit myself on the head about "omg, I lost the guy of my dreams!!!111"- or actually, there's no way I wouldn't have gotten his number. But, like I said, time has a way of letting you see things clearly. Why I said that lame story you ask? (or not) Because it's been exactly a year since I last saw the guy and it just crossed my mind.
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Postby LeoXiao » Mon Aug 03, 2015 9:34 pm

Well, I seem to have acquired a girlfriend, someone who works at my company but in a different department. She'd been expressing active interest since February, but it took me all the way until a few weeks ago to give up on another girl I had a longstanding crush on (despite there being next to no chemistry between us) and take the obvious route. I feel a little guilty and rather stupid since this girl is really easy to talk to, thoughtful, attractive, and feminine. She's been giving me tons of hints from pretty much day one that she wants something long-term—she asks me about my family a lot, mentioned kids multiple times, "accidentally" had me run into her dad, makes me food, the works. I don't feel awkward or stilted around her at all and more importantly she seems to be genuinely happy to hang out.

She's from northwestern China and being around her is improving my ABC-level Mandarin rapidly. Unlike most Chinese people I know she isn't hell-bent on making money and instead likes doing things like playing musical instruments and reading classics (yeah I know most Chinese people have normal interests too but the endless barrage of "Y U NO BECOME DOCTOR" tends to get in the way).

The concern I have now is that my bad habits (mostly laziness and misplaced verbosity) are going to strangle whatever initial impression she had about me. I fear personal stagnation, since being with her gives me unwarranted emotional validation that isn't based in real accomplishment. It's really easy to waste time with women (and video games, and on forums...). Basically, my shortcomings are now in even greater need of elimination.

For the last couple years, the only guy I truly felt attracted to, was a random guy from the campus- we had to take an exam together, were both complete strangers but we hit it off and wouldn't stop talking about all sorts of stuff and our common interests were surprisingly very high. In the end, I had to get off on a different bus stop and that was it. Had it been a few years before, I would have hit myself on the head about "omg, I lost the guy of my dreams!!!111"- or actually, there's no way I wouldn't have gotten his number. But, like I said, time has a way of letting you see things clearly. Why I said that lame story you ask? (or not) Because it's been exactly a year since I last saw the guy and it just crossed my mind.


There's another thing that is easy to discount—the cold, hard truth that the number of potential partners is huge, but that most of them will be denied you due to wholly impersonal circumstances.
Zwischen GEHIRN und NERV muss die SEELE sein!

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Postby Chuckman » Wed Aug 05, 2015 3:58 pm

Stop overthinking the logistics of finding a mate and open yourself to the possibility that there is a man with a typewriter and this is all his twisted imagination.

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Postby Dream » Sat Aug 08, 2015 5:04 am

So i logged back on EGF after a week dealing with the barrage of new content when out of the blue, skype told me a person i thought i'd never see again (on skype) was online. This person was very precious to me and i wasn't sure of how to respond or if i even should. After a few minutes of getting my world surprised i test the waters with a simple greeting... and she left almost inmediately. I left a written apology saying i apparently misinterpreted things and that i'll try not to bother her, as well as hoping this small incident didn't affect her skype experience. No reply to that either.

I'll admit to feeling a bit miffed about all that... is it justified? I mean, even if it was just a technical error... I know she's very shy and that she has a vastly different worldview, but i don't think writing a few sentences clearing things up would have killed her, you know? I certainly would have if the situations were reversed no matter how anxious i felt... Or she just didn't think it was necessary/didn't want to bother? Whenever skype tells me she's online now, i'm left wondering just what, if any, the meaning of that was.
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Postby LeoXiao » Sat Aug 08, 2015 6:44 pm

I don't know why you felt it necessary to apologize for a simple greeting. Would you have done it if it was anyone else? If not, then the apology was not only unnecessary but probably came across as clingy.
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Postby CX1329 » Sat Aug 08, 2015 7:28 pm

It's just a simple greeting. You shouldn't be worried about someone's Skype experience, and there is nothing to apologize for. After all, if someone is online and their status says they are online, then common sense dictates that it is okay for others to send messages to that person. Going on what you said, it doesn't look like you were pestering this girl, so don't worry about it. I'd disagree that apologizing makes you seem clingy, but it does make you seem overanxious, and she would likely be confused and think "what is this dude apologizing for?". If you want to get her to talk, try taking it easy and just letting her know that you're there, but don't push it. Let her know you're willing to talk, and wait until she feels like it. Something like "hi, it's been a while, so perhaps we could talk when you're not busy" could get you a long way.
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Postby Compiling_Autumn » Sun Aug 09, 2015 2:11 am

the new social trend is to ignore people and hope that they get the hint. The internet has made it so that some have the luxury of being spineless. Your only option is to move on.
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Postby LeoXiao » Sun Aug 09, 2015 8:03 am

View Original PostCompiling_Autumn wrote:the new social trend is to ignore people and hope that they get the hint. The internet has made it so that some have the luxury of being spineless. Your only option is to move on.

Yes, very much so. There's a good article on this.
Zwischen GEHIRN und NERV muss die SEELE sein!

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Postby Rosenakahara » Fri Aug 21, 2015 6:42 am

Incredibly scared of getting in any more relationships sometimes, recently i have just had this gnawing fear that even if i do get a girlfriend that i seriously care about im just going to be cheated on again, either that or im going to mess up the relationship somehow but i have totally forgotten how everything works.
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Postby Chuckman » Fri Aug 21, 2015 6:55 pm

Yes, but you'll get laid, and that's pretty good.

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Postby Rosenakahara » Fri Aug 21, 2015 7:20 pm

I'm like 99% sure sex is also something i have forgotten how to do.
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Postby Chuckman » Fri Aug 21, 2015 7:47 pm

Half the joy is in learning, both in this and in all things.

Except calculus fuck learning that.

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Postby Vegeta 20XX » Fri Aug 21, 2015 8:12 pm

View Original PostLeoXiao wrote:Yes, very much so. There's a good article on this.


So many of the comments are people complaining about how "millenials" (read: "kids these days", preferably in some sort of elderly voice) do this because of narcissism, technology, and mental disorders.
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Postby Chuckman » Fri Aug 21, 2015 11:46 pm

I want to live to see sex bots just to see how old people react to it.

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Postby pwhodges » Sat Aug 22, 2015 1:41 pm

There's plenty of old-people sci-fi that includes sex-bots; it's not a novel concept for them.
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Postby Chuckman » Sat Aug 22, 2015 1:46 pm

I don't think that fiction about androids is a good way to predict how people will actually react to them. I expect when they eventually develop (the Real Doll guy is working on making a doll that can old a conversation, even if it can't actually get up and move around) they will be socially stigmatized.

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Postby pwhodges » Sat Aug 22, 2015 2:27 pm

View Original PostChuckman wrote:I don't think that fiction about androids is a good way to predict how people will actually react to them.

True; but I also don't see why the reaction of old people would be more (or less) interesting than that of young people (as one of the very few present who's actually got experience of being both in turn!).
"Being human, having your health; that's what's important." (from: Magical Shopping Arcade Abenobashi )
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Re: EGF's House of Lonely Hearts

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Postby MuscleRobo » Tue Jul 19, 2016 7:35 am

Sorry to revive a thread almost 11 months old but I asked someone and they said it was ok! Well with that out of the way let me say I got catfished. I recently had to move and it's been a little tough for me. I joined that Meetups website and have been trying to go to "geeky" events but they haven't been the most welcoming. There's a Japanese soceity but I was actually told by the person who runs it they're really only looking for people who lived in Japan for now. There's two board game groups but one is older people who weren't so welcoming and the other seemed to be pretty tightly knit my little sister and I just ended up playing board games together ourself at their meet up since they didn't have room for us in their planned game. I thought maybe I could try that anime dating website I saw packed into a con guide recently. I actually received a message fairly quickly! I chatted with the person online a bit and we even sent texts during the day eventually! He invited me to get lunch one Saturday but to my surprise when I got there he was actually a middle aged woman. The biggest surprise was they wanted to just get over it like it was a little thing and continue our friendship. I did sit and eat with her, mostly because I wanted to learn her story, but she's been texting me about when can we get together and stuff and my response has been to ghost her. Is it wrong for me to be doing this? Can I just text them "I'm sorry I feel hurt that you lied to me." I suppose the search for a friend continues.

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Re: EGF's House of Lonely Hearts

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Postby Glor » Tue Jul 19, 2016 11:21 am

View Original PostMuscleRobo wrote:Can I just text them "I'm sorry I feel hurt that you lied to me."

"Die in a fire you lying skeever." might also be acceptable. Unless they're Jewish. Then it might be a bit much. But I'm a petty person.
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Re: EGF's House of Lonely Hearts

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Postby NemZ » Tue Jul 19, 2016 4:18 pm

Just say you prefer more honesty in people you call friends.
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