Thanks for the replies, all.
As for feeling you're posting into a vacuum, I'm pretty sure we've all felt like that at times. I know I have, and Bagheera too. You just have to grit your teeth and think "I'm doing this for me
, because I
want to", and appreciate what interest is expressed from time to time.
If I think about that approach for too long, I run into problems. For example: If it's JUST for me, there's no need to ever take the story beyond the "random incoherent scribblings in notebooks" phase at all. Everything that really matters is in my brain, and if I'm the only audience, that's a perfectly fine place for it.
Now, sharing the tale with other people? The feelings I carry with me aren't enough. People can't (typically) form a connection with summaries and disjointed scenes. Being a story-teller and sharing with others drives the actual need to lay things front to end in the written word, to carefully consider pacing and plot/character arcs and the distribution of details, and so on. And it's only if I have other people to bounce the story against that I know if I'm achieving any success.
I know I can write, that's not an issue, but I've never actually proven to myself that I can craft a long narrative. I've made many attempts over my life, and they've all petered out. I wish I was persistently hotheaded enough to be able to blaze my way through the writing of CM without feeling discouraged or anxious, but it's hard. It's so damned hard.
From what you all are telling me, it looks like I picked a really
awful time to finally get off my butt and start writing this, too. I guess, on the plus side, my story is idiosyncratic and original enough (YOU'LL SEE
) that severing its connections to NGE and making it a standalone work should be eventually possible. (I do
want to finish writing it in its original conceived form first.) Then I'll be busy angsting over how to best reach ebook-reading audiences...
Would anyone at AO3 mind sending me an invite, BTW?