Fanfic Authors' Networking Thread

Everything Evangelion Fanfiction related.

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Gob Hobblin
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Postby Gob Hobblin » Mon Oct 07, 2013 12:19 am

I've been wanting to re-visit Neon Genesis Victoria for awhile, primarily in reediting and cleaning up the chapters up to the current point before adding more (simply to reacquaint myself, as well). I was also thinking of downgrading it from an M back to a T, but I wanted a second-opinion before I did that. Is there anybody here willing to give the chapter in question a glance to see if it toes the line too much? Many thanks!
Though, Gob still might look good in a cocktail dress.
-Sorrow

Rei wanted to know what waffles tasted like.
-Literary Eagle

We have to remember what's important in life: friends, waffles, and work. Or waffles, friends, and work. But work has to come in third.
-Leslie Knope

Come read EVA Sessions! This place has it, too! There'll be pizza! Not really! There are other things, too! Not EVA Sessions! Did I mention the pizza!?

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Postby shelter » Tue Oct 08, 2013 4:28 am

View Original PostGob Hobblin wrote:I've been wanting to re-visit Neon Genesis Victoria for awhile, primarily in reediting and cleaning up the chapters up to the current point before adding more (simply to reacquaint myself, as well). I was also thinking of downgrading it from an M back to a T, but I wanted a second-opinion before I did that. Is there anybody here willing to give the chapter in question a glance to see if it toes the line too much? Many thanks!


I can do the editing if you need me to - as long as you don't have a fixed deadline that involves me completing it within this week. When you mean "cleaning up", I suppose you mean cutting down loose ends/words/side-plots? Or tightening the plot? Or both?

I can also quick-read your chapter if you want :)

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Postby Gob Hobblin » Tue Oct 08, 2013 11:47 am

Thanks for the offer! I'm good in terms of editing, but what I really would like is a second opinion. Basically (because this was my first...was it my first?...one of my first fanfics), I got to a point in the story where I wrote a chapter that I was wondering toed the line in T and M ratings concerning gore. There was nothing sensational about it, but I did go into some detail, and so I got jumpy and upped the rating for safety's sake. However, I'm wondering now if it was necessary, having read around on some other fanfics that tend to be a bit more explicit.

So, if you don't mind glancing over the chapter and giving your feedback, I would greatly appreciate it! The link for the fanfic posting is below:

[url]http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8263025/3/EVA-Sessions-NGV-The-Three-Children[/url]

As for cleaning up, like I said: it was one of the first fics I put down. There's a lot of good stuff in there, and I had an overall plan for the story, but it started to go off the rails. There was some wild swinging, so I want to clean up the grammar, add stuff to flesh out the story and background, tighten things up, so essentially I can get back on track with the story. I liked the background and the characters I made, so I want to do get back to it: I just need to have a better grounding, so the 'foundation' needs work.
Though, Gob still might look good in a cocktail dress.
-Sorrow

Rei wanted to know what waffles tasted like.
-Literary Eagle

We have to remember what's important in life: friends, waffles, and work. Or waffles, friends, and work. But work has to come in third.
-Leslie Knope

Come read EVA Sessions! This place has it, too! There'll be pizza! Not really! There are other things, too! Not EVA Sessions! Did I mention the pizza!?

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Postby shelter » Wed Oct 09, 2013 11:06 am

Here are my thoughts on the chapter in particular:

Chapter 3  SPOILER: Show

    - I feel the questionable subject matter only concerns one explicit image - the "macabre wings" - and your historical grounding of it that follows (from out of Shinji's dialogue).

    - The details about blood being drained, incisions and gashes, and Misato's inserting her fingers to observe the wound - these are all ok, although I wouldn't want to read them while eating. The descriptions are bare and clinical enough, to the extent they're just a list.

    - So I think you can safely downgrade it to a 'T'. You're not describing a process or an act. I see the flaying as part of the setting. It's a detached observation and it doesn't get mentioned further. You wanted the reader to feel Shinji's shock after all.

    - If you want to be very safe, you can remove the adjective ("macabre"). Or rephrase the description into something less graphic (for example, ""...the flesh at the man's back had been turned out and made into an artistic wing-like mess..."). But it's your story, so it's up to you.


I read chapters 1-5 as a background. For a start, here are my observations on the story up to "The Girl in the Jar":

Chapters 1 to 5  SPOILER: Show

1. Story - I think because you're writing a detective story, there's an overload of details. It's acceptable because all details matter in detective novels. But consider trimming the language a bit, because it feels a bit bloated . Case in point: when you introduce Mrs Hudson in Chapter 1. You can just focus on Shinji's first impressions, instead of an extended observation.

2. Dialogue - is a bit over-the-top. But I think it's all right because of the context and setting. I like how the more distant your characters' relationships are, the more flowery the dialogue. I contrasted this with Misato and Shinji's one-sentence back-and-forth in Chapter 5.

3. Character - Not sure if its significant, but you have multiple (possibly too many) strong characters. There's Holmes, Shinji and Mycroft - and to a lesser extent, Watson. When you have two or more in the same scene, they dominate dialogue and action, with everyone else in the background. A side-effect of this is that I'm not too sure (until Chapter 4) who the main character is. You can possibly remedy this by tweaking how characters relate to each other. For example, Holmes and Watson the ones on the case (consultants). Shinji can take a backseat to them, but he holds when he's on the ground examining his father's 'death' or being asked to perform. Not sure if that makes sense, though.


I will have to read more to comment on the plot. But that's the gist of my background reading thus far. Is this what you had in mind?

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Postby Gob Hobblin » Wed Oct 09, 2013 12:56 pm

Very helpful! Point 3 on the second spoiler is an excellent one, as well. Looking through the story with that in mind, it really does highlight the clutter. I think if I stretch the chapters a bit more, that might not be an issue (give each character more room to breathe), so I may just delete chapters 2 through 7 from the FanFic profile, and begin stretching them out (one chapter becomes three, so to speak) to better fix the story.

If you have any more suggestions, feel free to PM to me. I'll be copying that post for notes (expect a nice credit in there, somewhere :tongue: ).
Though, Gob still might look good in a cocktail dress.
-Sorrow

Rei wanted to know what waffles tasted like.
-Literary Eagle

We have to remember what's important in life: friends, waffles, and work. Or waffles, friends, and work. But work has to come in third.
-Leslie Knope

Come read EVA Sessions! This place has it, too! There'll be pizza! Not really! There are other things, too! Not EVA Sessions! Did I mention the pizza!?

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Postby Muphrid » Thu Oct 24, 2013 7:41 pm

I'm looking for a pre-reader for new chapters of The Coming of the First Ones. My current pre-reader has had less time and availability of late, so I'm hoping for some supplemental feedback and opinions. If anyone is interested, I would very much appreciate it. Thank you.

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Postby shelter » Sun Oct 27, 2013 6:31 am

I can help. Let me know what you need me to do. I've PM-ed you my email address for convenience.

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Favorite Writing Exercises

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Postby Gob Hobblin » Thu Mar 27, 2014 8:23 pm

I don't know if a topic for this has already been put up, but what are everybody's favorite writing exercises?
Though, Gob still might look good in a cocktail dress.
-Sorrow

Rei wanted to know what waffles tasted like.
-Literary Eagle

We have to remember what's important in life: friends, waffles, and work. Or waffles, friends, and work. But work has to come in third.
-Leslie Knope

Come read EVA Sessions! This place has it, too! There'll be pizza! Not really! There are other things, too! Not EVA Sessions! Did I mention the pizza!?

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Postby ChaddyManPrime » Thu Mar 27, 2014 8:24 pm

Brainstorming, I like just throwing ideas down on a piece of paper.

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Postby MAI 742 » Fri Mar 28, 2014 1:18 pm

Writing.

Just writing until all the imagination, the wondering, the questions, are out of your head and on the paper. Or very nearly.

The privelege of not wondering 'well, if x then y....' and just writing it out, until I lock it away where no-one will 'ever' see it or I put it on fanfiction.net, is something I am immensely grateful for.
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Postby AngelNo13Bardiel » Sun Mar 30, 2014 3:10 am

If I'm anything to go by, plan and plan heavily in your head (or think aloud) for months before hitting a moment of "just write the damn thing already" and then getting it all typed out in double-time. Well, there were a few exceptions (Nephilim/SDT/HAO).

I still don't know if that's a good method or not, though...
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Don't bend; don't water it down; don't try to make it logical; don't edit your own soul according to the fashion. Rather, follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly. - Franz Kafka
Clones to the left of me, tsunderes to the right...and here I am, stuck in the middle with Shinji. - how I view my experience with Evangelion
-When it comes to Asuka/Shinji, pre-EoE is like moving Mount Everest and post-EoE is like moving the Olympus Mons. Either way, it's moving a mountain. It's just the size of said mountain.-

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Postby shelter » Fri Apr 04, 2014 2:32 am

I do trigger writing. Just randomly writing about anything through prompts, which can be a line of poetry, a song lyric, a photograph etc. It might not necessarily be related to the subject I want to write about. But once in a while the stuff that's written can be reused for a story or a piece of dialogue.

The goal with this exercise is to put to paper at least 300-400 words a day on anything, any subject to prevent my writing skills from getting dusty. Since I've started work, this has become extremely difficult to do.

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Postby NemZ » Fri Apr 04, 2014 2:47 am

This is exactly the kind of thing that should go to the Authors' Networking sticky. Moved.
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Postby Ray » Sat Apr 26, 2014 7:53 pm

I write the beginning, and the ending of a chapter, and then write up to the ending. Making a few changes as I go along
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Postby Argeus the Paladin » Sun May 18, 2014 1:11 pm

I guess I'm new here, so... hi there everyone.

I've been lurking around here for a while now, after a long holiday introduced me to NGE. My primary interest here is the fanfic aspect of the fandom, so it wasn't until I've written something that I thought I'd join.

Currently I've got a six-chapter-and-still-counting fanfic that tries (with questionable success) to combine the NGE universe with that of Sins of a Solar Empire (At some point I thought of adding Cardcaptor Sakura into the mix, but then decided against it). The relative obscurity of the latter made it difficult for the fic to find readers, much less criticism for self-improvement. This plus the huge traffic at SpaceBattle made it even harder to compete with the big names - my questionable writing and planning skill are to blame as well.

I guess the question I wanted to ask here is, how do people in the Eva fandom usually market their works? SB seems to be the right place, but - this might be my own fault lacking the oomph to make the difference - the competition is a lot greater than I previously thought...

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Postby Mike Mars » Sun May 18, 2014 6:23 pm

Truth be told, crossover fanfics tend to have a lot more trouble getting noticed than a fanfic that's dedicated to a specific franchise. This is only further exemplified when one of the things it's crossing over with is something relatively obscure. While Sins of a Solar Empire isn't unheard of, it isn't exactly booming with popularity either.

That said, you really shouldn't write fanfiction because you want it to be noticed. You should write it because you have a story you want to tell. If it gets noticed and people like it, then there really isn't much to gain from it other than a stroked ego and the warm fuzzy feeling of knowing that somebody genuinely liked what you wrote.

However, if you're looking for tips to improve your writing, then you can PM me a link to the story and I'll give it a read when I have the time. As for promoting, the best I can really tell you is to put a link to it in your signature and possibly get a few views from that. You can also make a post of it in the fanfiction section of this site and update it whenever you put out a new chapter. I'm sure there are a gazillion other message boards out there where you can promote your stuff, but I wouldn't know. I never really have been that big in self promotion other than putting it in my signature and mentioning it in passing if the person I'm talking to seems like someone who would be interested in reading it.
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Postby AngelNo13Bardiel » Wed May 21, 2014 4:30 am

View Original PostArgeus the Paladin wrote:how do people in the Eva fandom usually market their works?


I can't speak for others, but I usually just post 'em and then every once in a while do bits of self-promoting/whoring anywhere I'm online that's relevant (mostly here, I've never been to SB).

Hey, there ain't no shame in my game. :tongue:
Evangelion fan since 15 October 2002, Evangelion fanfiction writer since 1 April 2004.
Current avatar: Derpy bootleg Sonic or Adam? I'm not sure on this one...
Don't bend; don't water it down; don't try to make it logical; don't edit your own soul according to the fashion. Rather, follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly. - Franz Kafka
Clones to the left of me, tsunderes to the right...and here I am, stuck in the middle with Shinji. - how I view my experience with Evangelion
-When it comes to Asuka/Shinji, pre-EoE is like moving Mount Everest and post-EoE is like moving the Olympus Mons. Either way, it's moving a mountain. It's just the size of said mountain.-

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Postby Gob Hobblin » Wed Jun 11, 2014 9:57 pm

This seemed like the best place to complain.

I freaking hate it when people will review a fic but not read it. Like, I've gotten bad reviews and that's bene: two I can think of come from NemZ and Bagheera, and I appreciate them! They've let me know where I'm weak as a writer and I can improve with that feedback.

Someone who just comes by to troll is aggravating.

...okay, I'm done.
Though, Gob still might look good in a cocktail dress.
-Sorrow

Rei wanted to know what waffles tasted like.
-Literary Eagle

We have to remember what's important in life: friends, waffles, and work. Or waffles, friends, and work. But work has to come in third.
-Leslie Knope

Come read EVA Sessions! This place has it, too! There'll be pizza! Not really! There are other things, too! Not EVA Sessions! Did I mention the pizza!?

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Postby ElMariachi » Thu Jun 12, 2014 2:51 am

Which fic are you talking about?

But anyway, trolls are unfortunately an integral part of the Internet, and people complaining about things they didn't even read/saw are as old as handwritting, if the person is just out to pester just ignore him, he'll get tired eventually.
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Postby Rommel » Thu Jun 12, 2014 7:40 am

View Original PostGob Hobblin wrote:This seemed like the best place to complain.

I freaking hate it when people will review a fic but not read it. Like, I've gotten bad reviews and that's bene: two I can think of come from NemZ and Bagheera, and I appreciate them! They've let me know where I'm weak as a writer and I can improve with that feedback.

Someone who just comes by to troll is aggravating.

...okay, I'm done.


I have the opposite problem.


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