[CYOA] Shinji's Silly Misadventures!

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Postby Squigsquasher » Tue Apr 30, 2013 4:04 pm

View Original PostEVAfacepalm wrote:1.)

However, have all of the Harem members contribute their powers to make a giant ship mecha the size of several galaxies put together. Then, use it to punch a hole in reality and send them back to their home universes. Finally, perform the ultimate Giga-Evangelion Breaker and smash directly in the aftermath of Rei's party. Complete with everyone in full-leather outfits from Corset and naked Kaworu comatose in Asuka's bed.


My reaction to this utterly glorious suggestion.

Unfortunately, I am pretty tired right now, and I have college early in the morning, so I can't update tonight, but first chance I get I will make this happen.

Sorry for any delays, and thank you for continuing to support this!
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Postby Nuclear Lunchbox » Tue Apr 30, 2013 6:05 pm

View Original PostSquigsquasher wrote:My reaction to this utterly glorious suggestion.

Unfortunately, I am pretty tired right now, and I have college early in the morning, so I can't update tonight, but first chance I get I will make this happen.

You are sixteen, and too young for all of this College nonsense. And nice reaction, by the way.

As to supporting this, it is awesome. Keep it coming.

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Postby Squigsquasher » Wed May 01, 2013 4:13 pm

Right. Enough dicking about. To business!

*
*
*

You think for a second. You could just take the Dai-Kaizoku-Sen-Gan, but that would be too sensible. Taking the bus would be both boring and dangerous, and walking back isn't an option.

Then something occurs to you...

"Friends, harem, follow me, I require your assistance..." you call to your companions.

You get up and go to walk out the door, with your comrades following you.

"Wait!" says the bouncer "I have a delivery for you!"

He passes you a small cardboard box. Inside, cushioned with polystyrene packing foam, is a pair of orange, angular glasses. Attached is a note.

Dear Shinji,

I figured you need these more than me. Enjoy them!

Oh, and look after Yoko for me.

Finally, remember, Shinji: Believe not in you that believes in me, believe not in me who believes in you, believe in you, who believes in yourself!

Yours awesomely,

Kamina.


You grin. You pick up the glasses and put them on.

"Suits you!" says Kensuke.

You nod, and slip the note into your pocket.

You and your friends all board the Dai-Kaizoku-Sen-Gan. Once everyone is aboard, the gangplank retracts.

With a whoosh of steam, a plinth rises. Upon the plinth are several Core Drills, each with a name inscribed upon it.

"Everybody, take one" you tell your comrades "And get ready for the trip of a lifetime..."

Your friends all pick up the Core Drill with their name on it, and an epic background track begins playing for some reason.

"We are the Dai-Shinji Brigade!" declares Sailor Moon.

"When someone gets in our way, we punch them in the face!" shouts Touji.

"When something blocks our path, we cut through it!" yells Kensuke.

"When something knocks us over, we get back up!" sings Miku.

"When people tell us we can't do something, we do it anyway!" Haruhi states triumphantly.

"When someone knocks down our walls, we rebuild them!" cheers Misty.

"We are the Dai-Shinji Brigade!" bellows Black Rock Shooter.

"We are unstoppable!" cries Chi.

"We kick good taste to the curb and go beyond the unsavoury!" thunders Excel.

"I...umm...Squigsquasher forgot to write me in to most of the scenes..." mumbles Kyoko Sakura "But anyway, we're awesome!"

"OUR KNIFE IS THE KNIFE THAT WILL PIERCE THE HEAVENS!" you declare.

"WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK WE ARE!?!?!?!?" you all simultaneously roar, and thrust your Core Drills into the sockets on the plinth.

The entire boat-mecha-thing is surrounded in an aura of fire, and jets into the stratosphere. Then, in a burst of pure awesome, it grows into the galaxy-sized Dai-Ōkina-Bakabakashī-Kyodai-Otokorashī-Serori-Ginga-Tanken-Fujōri-Oroka-Nagattarashī-Chōshinsei-Murasaki-Kaizoku-Sen-Gan (translate that, I dare you!).

You then proceed to punch a hole in reality itself, and drop off every member of your harem in their respective universes; BRS in the distorted, checkered Otherworld, Kyoko in some bit of Tokyo, Chi in Hideki's house, Haruhi in the SOS Brigade clubhouse, Miku on her PC, Excel in ACROSS headquarters, and so on.

Finally, after delivering Touji and Kensuke back home, it is time to go back to your apartment.

"GIGA..." You begin, holding the Dai-Ōkina-Bakabakashī-Kyodai-Otokorashī-Serori-Ginga-Tanken-Fujōri-Oroka-Nagattarashī-Chōshinsei-Murasaki-Kaizoku-Sen-Gan's fist in the air.

"KNIFE..." you continue, manifesting an enormous flaming Progressive Knife

"BREEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAKEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRR!!!!!" you thunder.

With an explosion of pure GAR, the Dai-Ōkina-Bakabakashī-Kyodai-Otokorashī-Serori-Ginga-Tanken-Fujōri-Oroka-Nagattarashī-Chōshinsei-Murasaki-Kaizoku-Sen-Gan is hurled through the fabric of time and space, compresses back into Pirate Ship form, lands perfectly in its garage, and you are teleported right into the lounge of your apartment.

You materialize, and immediately find your head buried in something soft.

What do you do?

1: Leap out of it and apologize,
2: Fall asleep in it,
3: Try and cuddle it,
Or 4: Try and work out where you are before you do anything?
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Postby EVAfacepalm » Wed May 01, 2013 4:25 pm

4.) Knowing the kind of humor in this CYOA, it's probably Kaworu's bum.

Also, what's a good translation site for romanji Japanese to english? I want to know what the name means.
According to Seele, Tang is the ultimate form of life. I guess that means the astronauts are committing genocide all the time then.

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Postby Squigsquasher » Wed May 01, 2013 4:28 pm

View Original PostEVAfacepalm wrote:4.) Knowing the kind of humor in this CYOA, it's probably Kaworu's bum.

Also, what's a good translation site for romanji Japanese to english? I want to know what the name means.


I dunno. I used Google Translate to convert the words into Japanese, so I don't know if it would work backwards.
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Postby Justacrazyguy » Wed May 01, 2013 4:44 pm

33
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Postby Nuclear Lunchbox » Wed May 01, 2013 4:53 pm

Four, but it must be followed directly by three.

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Postby notalive » Wed May 01, 2013 5:18 pm

You grin. You pick up the glasses and put them on.

SPOILER: Show
Image

4 seems to be the best option here. This is one of the moments when we have to play it safe.
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Postby Agentomega » Wed May 01, 2013 8:49 pm

View Original PostEVAfacepalm wrote:Also, what's a good translation site for romanji Japanese to english? I want to know what the name means.


[url]http://www.dicts.info/dictionary.php?l1=english&l2=japanese_romaji[/url] 'ere you go!

Also, 4!
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Postby MAGI_01 » Wed May 01, 2013 8:54 pm

4!
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Postby sephiros » Thu May 02, 2013 11:18 am

4 first, and there's no real difference between 2&3, so either works.

Also, glad someone posted this
View Original Postnotalive wrote:
SPOILER: Show
Image


Glad no one wasaround when I read this.
Godzilla never had an AT Field!!
You dumbass, what the hell else do you think I'm talking about? We're gonna combine!!
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Postby Squigsquasher » Fri May 03, 2013 11:55 am

You try and work out what your face is buried in. It is soft, squishy, and warm. It smells of strawberry and cream perfume, oestrogen, and oddly enough, gasoline. It appears to have a heartbeat, and it is extremely comfortable.

You feel absolutely bushed, so you decide to take a nap in it. You yawn, and put your arms around it, before attempting to get to sleep.

However, you hear the sound of a sabre-tooth tiger growling, and a steam whistle. You then realize that the soft object in question is, in fact, Asuka's bosom, which you appear to have been wedged into when you materialized in the apartment.

You quickly retract your head from the ginger pilot's cleavage. You quickly attempt to get yourself out of the hot water you have been landed in.

"Now listen, I can expla-"

Unfortunately, before you can explain, the Second Child headbutts you in the stomach with a roar, sending you flying through the wall and into the kitchen.

"PERVERT! LECH! DEVIANT! CRIMINAL! MOLESTER! FELON! VAGABOND! How DARE you touch the-"

"Oh please" you interrupt, picking yourself off the floor "The tsundere thing was unfunny in 1995"

Asuka goes from enraged to sulky. "Oh come on, it's practically my defining character trait! Besides, I'm still pissed that the author didn't pair me with you! Life's so unfair!" she whinges.

She then starts crying, sitting on the floor and bawling her eyes out. "WAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! WHY DOES Rei GET TO BE THE LUCKY ONE!?!?"

You feel a little guilty. You don't like seeing Asuka upset, even if she did headbutt you through a wall.

"There, there" you coo, patting her head "There's always Kaworu, or CYOA: Asuka's Absurd And Abominable Antics"

Asuka reduces her sobbing to a gentle cry. "Sigh...*sniff* I suppose you're right..."

Then something occurs to you.

"Speaking of Kaworu...where is he?"

Asuka stops crying long enough to answer your question. "Oh, I think he's comatose on my bed at the moment. In fact I'd just finished pleasuring myself next to him when you landed in my breasts"

You frown. "Asuka, that was the most tasteless joke this CYOA has had so far. You should be ashamed..."

"Well don't blame me!" whines Asuka, getting defensive "I didn't write it!"

"Whatever...Anyway, I'll go and check on him" you tell her.

You carefully step over the various sleeping, totally smashed partygoers, who all seem to be wearing various leather garments. You narrowly avoid tripping up over Misato's drunken form.

You enter Asuka's room to find Kaworu completely comatose, and wearing a pair of exceptionally tight lederhosen, talking in his sleep.

"Urgh...No Misato...I...I..I've had enough to drink..." he murmurs "Sorry...I don't roll that...way...urgh..."

"Kaworu? Are you alright?" you ask, before realizing that he is totally incapable of answering.

You want to make sure he's alright, but you also feel completely shattered.

What do you do?

1: Gently prod him to wake him up,
2: Use something loud to get him out of bed,
3: Just let him sleep and go check on Rei,
Or 4: Curl up next to him and go to sleep?
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Postby Lavinius » Fri May 03, 2013 12:20 pm

2. Like an N2 mine. Anything short of that would be like a cuddle by a feather.
Also "CYOA: Asuka's Absurd And Abominable Antics" yay!

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Postby Nuclear Lunchbox » Fri May 03, 2013 12:45 pm

Three. In this case, your waifu takes priority.

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Postby Agentomega » Fri May 03, 2013 12:51 pm

3 plois.

Also - CYOA: Asuka's Absurd And Abominable Antics yas pls
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Postby MAGI_01 » Fri May 03, 2013 1:33 pm

3!

Also... CYOA: Asuka's Absurd And Abominable Antics... has to happen!
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Postby EVAfacepalm » Fri May 03, 2013 1:54 pm

2.) But don't wake the others. I say we stuff the SDAT player headphones into his ears, crank it up to 11 and play Ode to Joy.

Edit: Also, I very much would like to see an Asuka CYOA. Maybe you could do it in seasons? Start in February and end in May each year.
Last edited by EVAfacepalm on Fri May 03, 2013 1:59 pm, edited 2 times in total.
According to Seele, Tang is the ultimate form of life. I guess that means the astronauts are committing genocide all the time then.

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Postby Stillborn » Fri May 03, 2013 1:57 pm

View Original PostEVAfacepalm wrote:2.) But don't wake the others. I say we stuff the SDAT player headphones into his ears, crank it up to 11 and play Ode to Joy.


Or the sound of Kaworu strangling a kitten XD
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Postby Justacrazyguy » Fri May 03, 2013 2:36 pm

44

Oh god, why am I the only one that choose 4?
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Postby sephiros » Fri May 03, 2013 2:51 pm

3 He'll be fine. It'd take more than a little alcohol poisoning to kill an angel.
Also, wr need an acronym: CYO6A
Godzilla never had an AT Field!!
You dumbass, what the hell else do you think I'm talking about? We're gonna combine!!
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