[SPOILERS AS FUCK] 2ch Q synopsis prep. for anal devastation

Discussion of the new series of Evangelion movies ( "Evangelion Shin Gekijōban", meaning "Evangelion: New Theatrical Edition").
The third installment debuted in Japan on November 17, 2012.

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[SPOILERS AS FUCK] 2ch Q synopsis prep. for anal devastation

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Postby Xard » Fri Nov 16, 2012 12:22 pm

Original awesome title [SPOILERS AS FUCK] 2ch Q synopsis prep. for anal devastation changed to help divert conversation into other threads. Hate to have to do that. -staff

Original awesome title [SPOILERS AS FUCK] 2ch Q synopsis prep. for anal devastation restored from 3.0 Spoilers Thread [FILM INFO / QUESTIONS ONLY] -staff


First non-troll seeming synopsis to jump out from 2ch on Q I've seen so posting here


速報:時系列順に
冒頭戦闘シーン、なんかアスカとマリが宇宙でなんかと戦ってるがよく解らん
多分使徒?
初号機の目からビーム出て戦闘終了
地球?から流れ星を見上げてシンジと呼ぶカオル
ここでオープニング終了
ここから本編
シンジとレイの分離どうこうって話がなぜか月で行われてたらしいけど描写無し
旧を彷彿とさせる心理描写でレイまたもやぽかぽか、このままがいいとかふざけた事言い出す
アスカとマリが二人してシンジにブチギレてる、家族がどうこう
この時点でアスカは過去の記憶の大部分が無い、大体の所で初登場ちょっと前までの記憶しか無いっぽい
中盤からサードインパクトが起きそうになった事であっちこっちで大騒ぎ
カオルが仲立ちして事を納める
やたらと聞き分けがいいゼーレのオッサン達
カオルに向かって役目を果たせとゼーレのオッサン達
シンジとレイの分離はその引き替えとしてゼーレのオッサン達がやる事に
終盤
シンジとレイが復活
マリは立ち会うがアスカいない
マリ「おかえり、お父さん」(カオルの「初めまして、お父さん」にすごく似た言い方)
シンジ困惑、レイ無関心
マリ「次はママだね」
司令部シーンでアラート。使徒の侵入。その使徒はアスカ
アスカが最期の使徒として使徒化してセントラルドグマへ(なぜ使徒になったかリツコが説明してたけどなんか意味わからんかったけどとにかくカオルがやった)
gdgd人間ドラマやったあとシンジとカオル二人がかりでアスカを殺して解決(トドメはカオル)
シンジが電源切れてプッツンでエンドロール
エンドロール後、リリスの前でレイとゲンドウがアレによくにたやり取り
それを隠れて聞いてるマリらしき人物の足

brb translating

EDIT


"Day after": Important information for new readers of topic


- These early spoilers posted in this topic are a mix of genuine spoilers, misunderstandings/imprecise reporting on 2ch's end and clever trolling by eva antis to use 2ch terminology.

The fact rundown of most important "spoilers" mentioned in these first posts:

- 14 year long timeskip: True
- Brunette is Touji's little sister: True
- Asuka's 28 year old but remains physically 14 due to "curse of eva": True
- Asuka is final Angel: FALSE
- Asuka gets killed: FALSE
- Kaworu dies/sacrifices himself: True

I guess gdgd人間ドラマ should've hinted at me the first poster was after all a troll but I treated that bit as sign of genuine disappointment with film. Looks like I was off.

There are many other spoilers that crop up in great detail later in thread but I'm not writing all that down (at least now). Main point now is to make sure misinformation contained in these first "spoilers" don't discourage fans.

READ THE BEST SPOILER SUMMARY SO FAR FROM HERE (though some mistranslations are present, quite few from tired tired me. Sorry!)


oato ga mata yoroshiku ne!
Last edited by Xard on Sat Nov 17, 2012 11:37 am, edited 4 times in total.
ran1: Oh gosh this sentence gave me an internet boner. You're so tsundere.
Mugwump: Goddamn it, Xard! Take me in your arms, you magnificent sex god bastard!
And don't forget to wear the Ran mask.
Eva Yojimbo: You really are the Otaku equivalent of a Catholic and Jew rolled up into one giant dakimakura of guilt.
Gob Hobblin: Sanctimonious, subtly racist, vaguely misogynist, somehow says something while at the same time saying...nothing, really, at all....

Nice, Xard. That's nice.

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Postby Azathoth » Fri Nov 16, 2012 12:24 pm

and:

ヱヴァンゲリヲン新劇場版:Q 最速上映ネタバレ

破から14年後

ネルフは解体され、葛城チームはネルフ打倒の為の組織を設立する。
トウジの妹もこちら所属。
新キャラ盛りだくさん。
パイロットは、マリ、アスカがこちら。

シンジはミサトに救出されるが、レイを求めて0号機へ向かい、レイとともにネルフへ。
ネルフ側のパイロットは、カヲル、レイ、シンジとなる。
ネルフの指令はゲンドウ、冬月。

シンジはサードインパクトの後に世界がどうなっているか知り、絶望するが、カヲルに依存し、13号機に搭乗する。13号機はダブルエントリーシステムで2人乗りの為、カヲルとシンジで、サードインパクトの槍を抜きに行くが、
第1使徒のカヲルが13番目に配置されている。ゼーレのシナリオ通りに沿う形で進めて延長にネルフゲンドウのシナリオを描く形で事は進む。
最後はフォースインパクトを回避するべくカヲルが自害して開いたガフの扉を閉じる。

エンディングは宇多田ヒカルの新曲です。

予告は
シン・エヴァンゲリオン劇場版
だったかな。
ちなみにナディアの音楽も鳴ります。
たぶん当時反対されて出来なかった事をエヴァでやっている?感じがした。
3時まで待機します。


THESE SPOILERS ARE LARGE AND YOU SHOULD NOT READ THEM IF YOU CARE ABOUT THAT SORT OF THING wrote:-Mari keeps making sequel jokes
-Kaworu kills himself to prevent Fourth Impact
-Asuka is the last angel


THE STORY SO FAR LOL wrote:>14 year timeskip, girl with brown hair CONFIRMED Touji's sister. seen fighting an angel right before credits
>Asuka is an angel, due to Unit 03 infection incident
>Mari is Trunks
>Kaworu dies
>Shinj/Rei sealed in space by Seele/Karowu
>14 years pass
>Nerv/Mari/Asuka attack and try to get him back
>Artifical defense Angel attacks Asuka
>Shinji breaks the seal, destroys the angel and crash lands back to earth
>Karowu says 'welcome back'

>Asuka turns out to be angel, hence why the artificial angel attacked her(defence)
>Kaworu/Shinji enter a Unit together to fight her
>Kaworu sacrifices himself to stop Asuka


motherfucking tag holocaust up in here
Last edited by Azathoth on Fri Nov 16, 2012 12:40 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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Postby hui43210 » Fri Nov 16, 2012 12:24 pm

Not nearly as crazy as the the troll stuff i saw

Edit, wait some of the stuff I saw was true
Is the 3.0 spoiler policy gone?.... Cool, then I'm nominating myself as EvaGeeks 1# Sakura Suzuhara fan/nerd.

I mean, predictability is the central attraction and the narrative hook that we've all come to expect from the Evangelion franchise. How come Anno can't realize this? Twice? - FreakyFilmFan4ever

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Postby Monk Ed » Fri Nov 16, 2012 12:27 pm

Holy shit why did I click that spoiler tag?

Well, I just couldn't resist. I hope I won't make that same mistake again. And I have to remind myself, it could still just be trollin'...

...But it's so damn credible, dammit!

Oh man, waiting to see this when it finally gets released X months from now is gonna be killer.
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Postby Bagheera » Fri Nov 16, 2012 12:40 pm

Wat.
For my post-3I fic, go here.
The law doesn't protect people. People protect the law. -- Akane Tsunemori, Psycho-Pass
People's deaths are to be mourned. The ability to save people should be celebrated. Life itself should be exalted. -- Volken Macmani, Tatakau Shisho: The Book of Bantorra
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Yes, I know. You thought it would be something about Asuka. You're such idiots.

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Postby chee » Fri Nov 16, 2012 12:46 pm

Calling bullshit. Doesn't match up with how old Asuka and Mari are in the 6 minute preview.

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Postby Jayfive » Fri Nov 16, 2012 12:46 pm

Is there going to be a lot of this?

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Postby Monk Ed » Fri Nov 16, 2012 12:49 pm

View Original Postchee wrote:Calling bullshit. Doesn't match up with how old Asuka and Mari are in the 6 minute preview.

:lol: I wondered what you were talking about then noticed that the post with the spoilers was updated and when I saw the "story so far" I LAUGHED and felt so much better. I have renewed confidence that I have merely been trolled.

Boy I hope I've merely been trolled.

Yyyeah I should really stay away from topics like this... But god damn, so hard to resist!
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"That sounds like the kind of science that makes absolutely 0 sense when you stop and think about it... I LOVE IT." -- Rosenakahara

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Postby Jayfive » Fri Nov 16, 2012 12:51 pm

View Original Postchee wrote:Calling bullshit. Doesn't match up with how old Asuka and Mari are in the 6 minute preview.


Really? You think this kind of crap even needs calling? Until I here something from a person reliable and regular to this site Im not giving any credence to anything plot-related I havent seen myself.

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Postby Kuronekodou » Fri Nov 16, 2012 1:00 pm

Is this real? D:

SPOILER: Show
Image

Image

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Postby Xard » Fri Nov 16, 2012 1:05 pm

速報:時系列順に
"Breaking" in chronological order
冒頭戦闘シーン、なんかアスカとマリが宇宙でなんかと戦ってるがよく解らん
多分使徒?
It looks like Mari and Asuka are fighting against something in space in opening fight scene but don't really understand well.
Probably Angel?
初号機の目からビーム出て戦闘終了
地球?から流れ星を見上げてシンジと呼ぶカオル
Fight ends with beams blasting out from the "Crucifix thing" [lit. first craft/ship]
Kaworu looks up at shooting star from Earth(?) and calls Shinji
ここでオープニング終了
Here's the end of opening
ここから本編
From now on main story [lit. original story]
シンジとレイの分離どうこうって話がなぜか月で行われてたらしいけど描写無し
It looks like separation of Shinji and Rei took place on Moon [ha!] but there's no depiction of it
旧を彷彿とさせる心理描写でレイまたもやぽかぽか、このままがいいとかふざけた事言い出す
Following the psychological depiction style of old Rei's once again poka pokain', it's fine this way etc. starts to screw around [ice breaking, basically]
アスカとマリが二人してシンジにブチギレてる、家族がどうこう
Asuka and Mari slash angrily at Shinji about family questions
この時点でアスカは過去の記憶の大部分が無い、大体の所で初登場ちょっと前までの記憶しか無いっぽい
At this point Asuka don't have many memories of past, roughly speaking she seems to have no memories from moment a bit before her first appereance onwards
中盤からサードインパクトが起きそうになった事であっちこっちで大騒ぎ
カオルが仲立ちして事を納める
Third Impact from 2.0 has caused huge fuss all over the place
Kaworu acts as a middle man/negotiator to close the case.
やたらと聞き分けがいいゼーレのオッサン達
Excessively reasonable SEELE [I guess point is they're taking things too matter of factly...or then it's exactly opposite, they're desperate to make sense of things. Not sure how to interprept kikiwage GA ii)
カオルに向かって役目を果たせとゼーレのオッサン達
Kaworu is against SEELE that is set on fulfilling their duty
シンジとレイの分離はその引き替えとしてゼーレのオッサン達がやる事に
終盤
As result of this debate/conversion SEELE ends up taking care of separating Rei and Shinji
シンジとレイが復活
Rei and Shinji are separated
マリは立ち会うがアスカいない
Mari is present/witness but Asuka isn't seen
マリ「おかえり、お父さん」(カオルの「初めまして、お父さん」にすごく似た言い方)
Mari: Welcome home dad (resembles really much Kaworu's "nice to meet you, father")
シンジ困惑、レイ無関心
Shinji's embarrassed, Rei indifferent
マリ「次はママだね」
Mari: "Next is mama, right" (wat? Is she pulling a "you made a baby during third impact" joke or what?)
司令部シーンでアラート。使徒の侵入。その使徒はアスカ
Alert during HQ scene. Angel invasion. That Angel is Asuka.
アスカが最期の使徒として使徒化してセントラルドグマへ(なぜ使徒になったかリツコが説明してたけどなんか意味わからんかったけどとにかくカオルがやった)
As a final Angel Asuka heads for Central Dogma (Ritsuko explained why she became Angel but I didn't really get it, in any case Kaworu did [something? Avoided being final angel? Is that the point])
gdgd人間ドラマやったあとシンジとカオル二人がかりでアスカを殺して解決(トドメはカオル)
After tedious human drama Kaworu and Shinji decide to kill Asuka together (Kaworu is finisher)
シンジが電源切れてプッツンでエンドロール
After cutting power bawwling Shinji is followed by end credits
エンドロール後、リリスの前でレイとゲンドウがアレによくにたやり取り
After ending credits Rei and Gendo are arguing in front of Lilith [about something resembling "that"? Or the argument resembles one Kaworu and Shinji presumably had in previous scene? Dunno]
それを隠れて聞いてるマリらしき人物の足
Leg of human who is secretly listening resemble's Mari's.



YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO


Image
Last edited by Xard on Fri Nov 16, 2012 1:11 pm, edited 2 times in total.
ran1: Oh gosh this sentence gave me an internet boner. You're so tsundere.
Mugwump: Goddamn it, Xard! Take me in your arms, you magnificent sex god bastard!
And don't forget to wear the Ran mask.
Eva Yojimbo: You really are the Otaku equivalent of a Catholic and Jew rolled up into one giant dakimakura of guilt.
Gob Hobblin: Sanctimonious, subtly racist, vaguely misogynist, somehow says something while at the same time saying...nothing, really, at all....

Nice, Xard. That's nice.

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Postby Jayfive » Fri Nov 16, 2012 1:06 pm

If its not, someone spent nuff time preparing to troll.

Pic: What is?
Text: What say?

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Postby Xard » Fri Nov 16, 2012 1:14 pm

The timeskip bullshit aside those two posts fit together without contradictions.



MOST LIKELY IT'S MOSTLY REAL GUYS


edit: derp whoops, it was mentioned in Japanese too.

EDIT: Okay, I read more on 2ch. 14 year timeskip comes up so many times in so many different posts I'm leaning towards accepting that. Shit's real guys.

I guess this means I'm doing Azathoth's post too brb
Last edited by Xard on Fri Nov 16, 2012 1:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.
ran1: Oh gosh this sentence gave me an internet boner. You're so tsundere.
Mugwump: Goddamn it, Xard! Take me in your arms, you magnificent sex god bastard!
And don't forget to wear the Ran mask.
Eva Yojimbo: You really are the Otaku equivalent of a Catholic and Jew rolled up into one giant dakimakura of guilt.
Gob Hobblin: Sanctimonious, subtly racist, vaguely misogynist, somehow says something while at the same time saying...nothing, really, at all....

Nice, Xard. That's nice.

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Postby JoeD80 » Fri Nov 16, 2012 1:16 pm

Doesn't really match up with the trailer or preview

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Postby Hyper Shinchan » Fri Nov 16, 2012 1:16 pm

View Original PostXard wrote:MOST LIKELY IT'S ALL REAL GUYS

Which would be really pretty much fine, Shinji and Rei play Romeo and Juliet, Kaworu and Shinji take care of eliminating the evil from this world, it's really good stuff.
BTW, thanks for the translation.
So let’s make a wish.
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Postby arkiel » Fri Nov 16, 2012 1:19 pm

So the quiet piano moments were just to persuade Shinji to let Kaworu double-team Asuka?
#everythingissex

6 minute preview could be future time; Mari's original timeline and Asuka non-aged from cryostasis.
Last edited by arkiel on Fri Nov 16, 2012 1:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Postby esselfortium » Fri Nov 16, 2012 1:20 pm

If this isn't a troll post (which it probably is), I would like to be the first to formally congratulate Anno and his colleagues on taking upwards of three years to write a completely unsurprising movie based on dumb ideas that fans had already predicted almost immediately after 2.0's screening.

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Postby pinkkaworu » Fri Nov 16, 2012 1:22 pm

Does anyone know the name of the fluffy haired pink woman?
Last edited by pinkkaworu on Fri Nov 16, 2012 1:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.
ufuufu

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Postby Xard » Fri Nov 16, 2012 1:22 pm

YOUR FACE WHEN BRUNETTE WAS TOUJI'S IMOUTO ALL ALONG

Image

If this isn't a troll post (which it probably is), I would like to be the first to formally congratulate Anno and his colleagues on taking upwards of three years to write a completely unsurprising movie based on dumb ideas that fans had already predicted almost immediately after 2.0's screening.



So who was the Poirot predicting 14 year long timeskip? (if this all is true)


Note: doing quick searches with couple of keywords like touji's imouto, 14 year timeskip etc. hits quite few results. Either this is real or then 2ch was trolled in the first place and we're just spreading the troll.

Can't say for sure just yet.
Last edited by Xard on Fri Nov 16, 2012 1:46 pm, edited 2 times in total.
ran1: Oh gosh this sentence gave me an internet boner. You're so tsundere.
Mugwump: Goddamn it, Xard! Take me in your arms, you magnificent sex god bastard!
And don't forget to wear the Ran mask.
Eva Yojimbo: You really are the Otaku equivalent of a Catholic and Jew rolled up into one giant dakimakura of guilt.
Gob Hobblin: Sanctimonious, subtly racist, vaguely misogynist, somehow says something while at the same time saying...nothing, really, at all....

Nice, Xard. That's nice.

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Postby JoeD80 » Fri Nov 16, 2012 1:23 pm

Also we know that the scene shown on TV is the *first part* of the movie (冒頭)
Last edited by JoeD80 on Fri Nov 16, 2012 1:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.


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