[Fic] Hi this is Johnny SPACEBOOTS again

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[Fic] Hi this is Johnny SPACEBOOTS again

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Postby chee » Tue May 10, 2011 3:13 pm

DNEON REVELATIONS EVANGELRION

A STORY BY JOHNNY SPACEBOOGTHS


1. THE DEATH OF THE AGNELS

Shinj was in the simulator that simulated hand-to hand combat with te anges with guns and knives instead of angels so that they would get a better feeling for fighting the angels because piloting evas was like moving around by yourself. He gripped the barrel of his assault rifle and used his cyber glasses to try and use radar to fnd the angel and he couldn’t find it because angels knew how to dodge radar.

Shinji saw the angel go around the corner and start eating from a trash can that was full of garbage and food and shot at it. It dodged and did a little laugh and Asuka said over the intercom “Shinji YOU ARE A STUPID FIGTHER I WILL CORNER IT AND YOU CHASE IT AND DISTRACT IT WHILE I LEAD IT TO YOU AND YOU KILL IT.” And Shinji nodded but was scared because he was only good at simple figthing. Then Asuka saw the agnel in fron of it and she shot a grenade from her machine gun and blew up the alleyway in front of the angel and she laughed as it ran away while she had to climb the rubbel and she said “I DON’T KNOW WHERE YOU WENT ANGEL BUT YOU ARE TRAPPED HA” and laughed. But then Shinji used his cyber-teleporteerg to teleleport to Asuka who was startled and then screamed “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS” and turned her machine gun around from pointing at the angel to around where in the direction that Shinji’s face was and then started shooting him 45 times because it was a fast machine gun instead of a pistol. Then the area got green and computer words like The Matrix and a big hologram of Misato’s head appeared and was really angry and said “NO STOP THE STIMBLULATION.” And it looked at Asuka and Shinji and Shinji wasn’t dead without a face anymore because the simulation endeded. And the Misato head was followed by a Ritsuko head that was smoking and it was angry and it blew holographic smoke at Asuka but Asuka wasn’t scared baecuse it was not real smoke anyway so she just laughed and said “You can’t scare me with your cancer, ha!” and Misato’s head got stuper deformed and started shouting “THE POINT OF THIS EXERCIUSE IS TO PRACTICE HUNTING ANGLES IN THE MOST ESSENCE LIKE IF YOU WERE THE EVAS” and Ritusko said “She is right because being in the eva is like being the brain of it when you pilot it you experience its feelings and pains that it feels on its body on the outside so you need to get used to being as if you were the eva meaning that you need to learn to combat on yourself.” And Shinji said “I know what the pain of piloting eva is and this hurts too, I thought I was dead!” and he started crying a bit but stopped because he was afraid of feelings. And then Asuka kicked Shinji in the face and said “NOW THIS kick NOT a simulacrum!” and then they exited.

2. MEANWHILE ELSEWHERE ON THE BASE

Kaji was on his secret spy recroder phone talking to solid snake who was his secret contact outside of nerv.


TOO be continued?

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Postby Stryker » Tue May 10, 2011 3:41 pm

Should we make this a dramatic reading?
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Postby Legendary » Tue May 10, 2011 6:29 pm

It should only have a dramatic reading if it's unintentionally bad.

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Re: Hi this is Johnny SPACEBOOTS again

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Postby Seele00TextOnly » Tue May 10, 2011 6:48 pm

View Original Postchee wrote:“You can’t scare me with your cancer, ha!”

he started crying a bit but stopped because he was afraid of feelings.

Two quotes for the ages. Another triumph! :clap:
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Postby child of Lilith » Tue May 10, 2011 8:21 pm

Excellent work Johnny. This is the best fanfic I’ve read in ages.
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Postby Stryker » Tue May 10, 2011 8:38 pm

View Original PostLegendary wrote:It should only have a dramatic reading if it's unintentionally bad.


Who said that? I say ask Spaceboots if we can make it a dramatic reading, then bribe TEM or LordPhillock to read it.
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Postby soul.assassin » Tue May 10, 2011 10:30 pm

:D Nice one, man.

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Postby BeamKatana » Thu May 26, 2011 8:30 pm

But Chee, is Snake helping Kaji because he thinks Nerv has Metal GEAR?! I need to know these thingd!
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Postby gatotsu911 » Thu May 26, 2011 8:59 pm

View Original PostLegendary wrote:It should only have a dramatic reading if it's unintentionally bad.

You must not be a fan of "Doom: Repercussions of Evil" or "Half-Life: Full-Life Consequences", then. Or, y'know, pretty much any troll fic ever.
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Postby C.A.P. » Thu May 26, 2011 9:04 pm

So I see Chester A. Bum reviewed a lost episode of Neon Genesis Evangelion: The Lost Episodes.
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Re: [Fic] Hi this is Johnny SPACEBOOTS again

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Postby imprimatur13 » Wed Nov 08, 2017 9:53 pm

Oh my this is funny. I wish I had discovered this earlier.
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Re: [Fic] Hi this is Johnny SPACEBOOTS again

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Postby Guy Nacks » Thu Nov 09, 2017 12:30 am

Legendary auteur author Johnny SPACEBOOTS has been resurrected.

10/10 necrobump.
Among the people who use the Internet, many are obtuse. Because they are locked in their rooms, they hang on to that vision which is spreading across the world. But this does not go beyond mere ‘data’. Data without analysis [thinking], which makes you think that you know everything. This complacency is nothing but a trap. Moreover, the sense of values that counters this notion is paralyzed by it.

And so we arrive at demagogy. - Hideaki Anno, 1996


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