Commentary: Episode 06

For discussion of and submissions for the EvaGeeks Wiki and Commentary. Open to all posters.

Moderators: UrsusArctos, Board Staff

thewayneiac
Committeeperson
Committeeperson
User avatar
Posts: 1628
Joined: Aug 26, 2004
Location: How Kaworu got to the Moon

  •      
  •      
  • Quote

Postby thewayneiac » Fri Apr 13, 2012 6:38 pm

View Original PostDeepak wrote:can anybody link me to the full scripts of the show so I can take a crack at translating?


Here's Ep. 07, including the work Ath's already done.

If I remember correctly, this was originally scanned, and then ran through an OCR program, and Ath suspected that the program didn't always select the correct character. The suspect ones have been color coded.

[url]http://wiki.evageeks.org/FGC:Episode_07_Translation[/url]
Rejoice, glory is ours. Our young men have not died in vain. Their graves need no flowers. The tapes have recorded their names.
I am all there is.
Negative! Primative! Limited! I let you live.
But I gave you life.
What else could you do?
To do what was right.
I'm perfect, are you?

Deepak
Lilith
User avatar
Age: 29
Posts: 114
Joined: Aug 20, 2011
Location: United States
Gender: Male

  •      
  •      
  • Quote

Postby Deepak » Fri Apr 13, 2012 7:15 pm

is there the Japanese script for 1-6 as well? In addition I don't have the editing power on the commentary so may someone grant that to me?

ath
Clockiel
Clockiel
User avatar
Age: 39
Posts: 423
Joined: Jun 13, 2009
Gender: Male
Contact:

  •      
  •      
  • Quote

Postby ath » Sat Apr 14, 2012 8:00 am

View Original Postthewayneiac wrote:Here's Ep. 07, including the work Ath's already done.

[url]http://wiki.evageeks.org/FGC:Episode_07_Translation[/url]

Actually, the first part of Scene 01 was translated by SSD.
I've been working on Scene 05-08 but I need to clean up the mess before uploading it. I think I'll complete the scene descriptions before starting to work on the dialog, though.
I'm still a beginner in Japanese, and the fact that I'm not a native English speaker sure doesn't help, so my translation is probably full of errors in both languages. Feel free to correct and reword everything I wrote if you feel the need.

View Original PostDeepak wrote:is there the Japanese script for 1-6 as well? In addition I don't have the editing power on the commentary so may someone grant that to me?

Reichu passed me a file with the Japanese script of ep 5 a long time ago. I believe she transcribed it by herself back when she was working on evacommentary.org. She might have done the same for ep 1-4, but I haven't asked her about that yet (sorry, I can't find that file right now as my web server is down at the moment).
If we can find them, I'd love to build a searchable index of the scripts and our translations to make our work easier and help maintain consistency.

As for ep 6, it was translated directly by Spiritrans so I don't think we have a transcription for it.


The scene descriptions contain a lot of film and animation idioms that can't be found easily in dictionaries, so don't worry too much if they don't seem to make much sense. We should prepare a list of those on a wiki page with a few examples, but I guess it's better to ask Reichu if she has a more comprehensive list before working on it.

Kendrix
Defender of Puppy Boy
Defender of Puppy Boy
User avatar
Age: 30
Posts: 6697
Joined: Jul 27, 2010
Location: Germany
Gender: Female
Contact:

  •      
  •      
  • Quote

Postby Kendrix » Wed Apr 18, 2012 11:18 am

Further annotations:

009: I like how, in defiance of so many shonen manga tropes, this battle is over before Shinji known what hit him, the narrative wasted no time with bringing about a humilating one-shot defeat. This shot also serves to illustrate that, while he's past the constantly-reciting-the-instructions-phase, Shinji is still not quite accostumed to battle. This mini-arc, particulary the experience at the Futagoyama is a mayor turning point in that respect. After this, he does most of his EVA fighting without complaint, (though he still hates it of course) to the point that he's the one mantaining a cool head in episode 8. This, of course, only lasts untill everything goes to hell.

091: Ritsuko adressing her with her rank creates a feeling of distance, emphasizes her disaproval and serves to remind Misato of her duty...
There's always that little subplot with her, about just how far she'll go to defeat these things as her rather creative plans become more and more of a gamble. There was always a certain Ahab-ish undertone there, mostly in the action arc, but there's also her strong suspicions about Kaworu, which are often overlooked since it turned out that there really was something fishy about him, but did go quite far, to the point that she stalks some 15 year old kid with binoculars and shows little empathy about Shinji's grief for him.
Usually, Ritsuko is the one to call her out, following the rationality vs emotion/"gut feeling" contrast that's was built up between them in the beginning. This cumulates in Misato slapping Ritsuko across the face in one of the later episodes.
But even if she does it for selfish, personal reasons, Misato is still really good at what she does/her creative plans are a mayor asset, especially since our dear protagonist isn't good at thinking under stress, and Misato's genuine concern for the Children prevents her from comming off as too captain Ahab-ish, so it's not all black and white.
Still, it might have been interesting to have an episode where one of her plans fails and gets someone seriously hurt, leaving her to question her usual excuses of "It's the only way and no one has a better plan."
Of the mayor failures they have, none were really her fault. The thing in episode 16 when they almost lose Shinji get somewhat played this way, with Ritsuko telling her that she was responsible for the operation and all it's consequences, but since it wasn't the result of her plans going awry, it didn't really feel like she was being called out, but more like Ritsuko was being a heartless jerk.

122: The picture looks almost like a fingerprint.

134: (first part) "a little monotone", hm? Helps to highlight that he's still pretty overwhelmed from the previous battle/hasn't even had the time to "process it", but this is real life and the situation demands that he let himself be stuffed in there right away, trauma or no trauma. Just the blunt cruelty of reality.

135: Swimsuits are worn au-naturel as well and people just wash them. I mean, just how many suits would they use up in all the synch tests etc. if they got a new one each time? I agree that he must've been cut out of the last one, tough.
Also, note the "Nerv" written with lower-case letters.

137: Yeah, so many hot males, so little naked time...

139: There goes the self-depreciation again.

144: (first part) Rei's lack of concer for her own person tends to inspire lots of it in both Shinji and the audience, like they wanna take care of her because she can't. I think most of her fanboys are in it for the fragility appeal. The "fun" in "cold" characters is not the coldness itself, but the defrosting process. We all want to feel needed. We all want to hope that we can earn someone's love and dedication if we "find" them and are nice to them, and we all hope that people will find us... "The hope that people can understand each other", as EoE puts it.

167: Love the lightshow and the unusual camera angels Anno keeps using. Somehow, they're good for conveying tension.

185: As in episode 5, Rei's movements involving clothing look realistic and detailed. The hotness probably commes from the fact that she's diong it naturally withiout puttin on a show/ doing it in a raunchy way.

260: Also, never noticed that the mountain blowing up was already in the original - this is another of those things Rebuild put more of an emphasis on.

321: I always find myself shocked at hoe Rei's skin looks completely white, if not almost gray for the entirity of this scene. Not sure if it's just the shadows or related to how she was almost grilled a few seconds ago. It sure reinforces the fragility factor. Nonetheless, she looks quite beautiful and confused/melancholy in this shot, a bit as if she were still in pain.

322: This is a parallel to the shot in ep 5 where Rei shows up naked and, at first appears blurred because Shinji is looking through Gendo's glasses.
Just like the former indicates that Shinji is now going to form his own opinion of Rei/have his own encounter after the sight of her room and all the hearsay he got, this marks the point where Rei really forms her oponion of Shinji.



(Done. I will immediately tackle ep 5 and then, finally, ep 1)
I wanted to try harvesting the rice

I wanted to hold Tsubame more

I wanted to stay together forever with the boy I like

LeoXiao
Bridge Bunny
Bridge Bunny
User avatar
Posts: 1535
Joined: Aug 25, 2008

  •      
  •      
  • Quote

Postby LeoXiao » Wed Apr 18, 2012 12:45 pm

Well done. It's people pointing out these kinds of things that makes thinking about NGE consistently interesting.

Kendrix
Defender of Puppy Boy
Defender of Puppy Boy
User avatar
Age: 30
Posts: 6697
Joined: Jul 27, 2010
Location: Germany
Gender: Female
Contact:

  •      
  •      
  • Quote

Postby Kendrix » Wed Apr 18, 2012 4:05 pm

Thanks. Oh, and one thing I've forgotten:

Title 2: "Rei II" - Initially, the nummeration appears to be just a way to tie both episodes of the mini-arc focussing on the titular girl together, but as we later learn when a "Rei III" pops up, there is a bit more meaning to it...

One could theorize that those first title cards are that way because ep 5 shows us the things a bit of the things all Rei clones have in common/ what her initial state was like, and the next one shows us the beginning of the developement that would make version II so unique, but that might be overanalizing it.
I wanted to try harvesting the rice

I wanted to hold Tsubame more

I wanted to stay together forever with the boy I like

EvangelionFan
Test Subject
Test Subject
User avatar
Age: 32
Posts: 2771
Joined: Jun 16, 2010
Location: Canberra
Gender: Male

  •      
  •      
  • Quote

Postby EvangelionFan » Tue Oct 30, 2012 1:13 am

I re-read the Episode 06 Commentary today, and I'd like to offer some corrections to the contributions I made.

Lines I have corrected are coloured in Green
Lines in Red I would like removed from the commentary.
Comments are in Italics

SPOILER: Show
View Original PostEvangelionFan wrote:Scene 01
001:
Please remove the word 'Eerily'


004: Ritsuko's general surprise face...

I feel this is a redundant line as the cuts are evidently re-used from Episode 05.



Scene 03

119:
The commentary included here is great, but I feel like nitpicking about it because of the length. It should probably remain as it is.



Scene 08

284: This is one of my favourite cuts from this episode, aesthetically speaking.

I removed the segment about the animation as I don't know all that much about hand-drawn animation


299: It's a cool-looking targetting system. I wonder if something similar appeared in one of the earlier Evangelion video games.

It's been a year and a half since I submitted the original comment, and in that time we haven't heard from The Eva Monkey if there is anything like it in the games. Best remove the call-out to him for now. I also cleaned up the wording a little.




Note that none of these are new submissions, just corrections to existing ones on the site.
Voluntary Illusion.
Avatar: Wakaba Shinohara

Sailor Star Dust
Kept you waiting, huh?
Kept you waiting, huh?
User avatar
Age: 38
Posts: 23063
Joined: Aug 13, 2006
Location: 私の中いる自分の心
Gender: Female

  •      
  •      
  • Quote

Postby Sailor Star Dust » Wed Jan 22, 2014 1:40 am

Dunno where else to put this, but broken link here: https://wiki.evageeks.org/FGC:Episode_06_Cut_059
~Take care of yourself, I need you~

ath
Clockiel
Clockiel
User avatar
Age: 39
Posts: 423
Joined: Jun 13, 2009
Gender: Male
Contact:

  •      
  •      
  • Quote

Postby ath » Wed Jan 22, 2014 7:04 am

View Original PostSailor Star Dust wrote:Dunno where else to put this, but broken link here: https://wiki.evageeks.org/FGC:Episode_06_Cut_059

Our friends at Empty Movement revamped their gallery a while ago. Fixed.

UrsusArctos
The Beginning and The End
The Beginning and The End
User avatar
Posts: 10501
Joined: Jun 28, 2007

  •      
  •      
  • Quote

Postby UrsusArctos » Sat Aug 09, 2014 11:51 pm

018: The Eva is still bolted to the launch rails, which makes Misato's yelled "Dodge it!" from the previous episode meaningless. They should've either retracted the Eva immediately or put the brakes on the launch rail before it reached the surface. Looking at how consistently Ramiel fires at the heavily-armored chest (instead of shifting fire to the head and blowing it off), it was intent on destroying Eva-01's core.

032: The background dialogue shows that Nerv is pretty snappy - they've barely recovered Eva-01 and they're preparing to replace her chest armor.

060: What kind of real-life applications would such a thing have? It's mounted on rails, which means it can only go limited places. It's a laser, so it can't arc its shots. The only logical explanation is that this was a rejected Evangelion weapon of some sort, rebuilt into an automated laser for situations like this.

062: Hold on, the mortar screams? What the hell is that thing?!?

071: At the rate at which that thing was turning, you'd have expected Ramiel to break through in minutes rather than hours. Zeruel and even Sachiel breached the armor layer in a couple of shots, and Ramiel's death ray is no slouch. The unusually slow entry is thanks to plot armor more than anything else.

155: This shot is pure old-school super-robot show material. Of course, things don't stay that way.

156: I can understand the other kids being excited about the Evangelions, but Toji and Kensuke? Hell, they've seen what Shinji goes through inside that thing. For them to be this recklessly enthusiastic - well, for Toji at least - seems awfully out of character to me.

170: Shinji's synch rate was unusually high to begin with, so it's no surprise.

199: Did they really need to keep Ramiel floodlit all the time? It seems a little ridiculous.

235: In addition to resembling a straight-pull bolt-action rifle, there's a touch of the Wave Motion Gun firing sequence in here.

239: At least some of the parts had probably been optimized for an Evangelion, hence the finished weapon was used as a giant sniper rifle. But you're bang on the money...a handful of those things with automated firing mechanisms and nuclear power plants would have helped defend Tokyo-3 against quite a few of the later Angels.

249: The enormous amount of current flowing to the gun would have created a large magnetic field. Ramiel could have calculated the energy flow needed to cause the disturbance and interpreted it as a threat.

255: The converging beams entering the back of the weapon sure don't make any sense - where in the world are they coming from? The only thing I can think of is another Star Wars reference to the Death Star, which formed its planet-killer beam from eight converging beams.

262: Those twin pillars of light look eerily like a miniature version of Second Impact.

302: That's actually a muzzle brake - which reduces the recoil - and not a compensator, which eliminates upward creep on an automatic firearm. Frankly, it shouldn't be there - it's siphoning off precious positrons to reduce the recoil, and positrons bring a real radiation hazard. They should've just used a rocket-powered system like that on the entry plug as a substitute if they wanted to reduce the recoil of the thing.

306: Adding to the translator's note : Hideaki Anno was apparently quite fond of the guts pose himself!
(Was Board Staff from Dec 31, 2007 - Oct 17, 2015 and Oct 20, 2020 - Aug 1, 2021)
Not knowing that Monk is bi is like not knowing the Pope is Catholic - ZapX
You're either really bad at interpreting jokes or really good at pretending you are and I have no idea which.-Monk Ed
WAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!(<-link to lunacy)...Taste me, if you can bear it. (Warning: Language NSFW)
The main point of idiocy is for the smart to have their lulz. Without human idiocy, trolling would not exist, and that's uncool, since a large part of my entertainment consists of mocking the absurdity and dumbassery of the world, especially the Internet.-MaggotMaster

imprimatur13
Gaghiel
Gaghiel
Posts: 390
Joined: Jul 18, 2017

Re: Commentary: Episode 06

  •      
  •      
  • Quote

Postby imprimatur13 » Fri Jul 21, 2017 12:33 am

*Necromancy!*
Cut 104: I think we can assume that Toji and Kensuke live together. Unless, he just has a designated bedroom there?
My first fanfic: Neon Genesis Craig-Insertion
Kyoko's Melons: Currently being completely rewritten, so... if anyone liked it so far, great. I did too. But... not enough. ;)

EvaGeeks Discord server: https://discord.gg/MgA8Ev7

The Flying Fortress
Adam
User avatar
Age: 27
Posts: 52
Joined: May 14, 2017
Gender: Male

Re: Commentary: Episode 06

  •      
  •      
  • Quote

Postby The Flying Fortress » Tue Nov 20, 2018 10:09 am

Shot 060-Scene 02: These little details that show how the Nerv works to try to defeat the angels are the reason for being among my favorite episodes of Eva, more of this you can see in the sequence of episodes: 10,11,12 and 13. The episodes where I most observe the human effort and technology does non-eva in this show.


Return to “Wiki Editing and Discussion”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests