Need some opinions for a x-over fic I'm working on...

[JDami]

This is going to sound a little odd to some, but I'm working on a x-over fic with Gargoyles. I've already posted a couple of chapters to the story and a few drawings. I could really use some costructive critisism(sp?) and/or help.
fanfics
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6365435/1/Chaos_Element_Book_One

Artwork
http://ranwolf1976.deviantart.com/gallery/27585350#/d33sv5b
http://ranwolf1976.deviantart.com/gallery/27585350#/d36f3ur
http://ranwolf1976.deviantart.com/art/Rei-And-Shiro-187778933
http://ranwolf1976.deviantart.com/gallery/27585382#/d35po2t