So my mate says to me "you should check out this anime&

[geishaboy]

"Oh yeah, whats it called?" I ask. "Neon Genesis Evangelion" he replies rather bluntly. "Ohh yeah, I have heard of that, it made some waves in Japan when it was released" I replied with much glee. "You can borrow it if you wan't" he offered. Being a Japanese studen't (Level 500) and having watched such anime as Ranma 1/2 and Naruto, I figured that another anime series couldn't hurt.

Giant robots fighting, not really my thing, you know. But its the holidays and I have nothing better to do with my time. I spend two days straight watching the series from begining to end. As the last episode finishes, my mid is shot, All I can do think about is how much love I have for Shinji. WTF, this is a cartoon series. How can I have real emotions for someone not real? All I want to do is give Shinji a great big man hug. It all fell into place. The love and the hate. This may sound strange, but after watching the last episode (of what I now understand is the TV series) I felt completely at peace. I had a wonderful warm feeling inside me. I wanted to hug someone. I wanted to call my mother and tell her how much I love her. I wanted to find everyone that I have ever hurt in my life and honestly say I am sorry.

I have The End of Evangelion sitting there as well, I didn't quite understand why there was another moive made, guess it was to finish of the robot fighting part that was left out.

So I spark that up and get watching, I was almost in a trance the whole time, just glued to the screen, the action played out, the story played out, this really was the end of evangelion. The most touching thing I have ever seen in my life.

One more finale, I need you.

Its the end, the end of the end. The last two are there. Asuka and Shinji. Shinji sees Rei far of in distance, just like in the first scene. This is the last scene.

This is the end, that was the beggining. Shinji is over Asuka, choking her, all the hate, the lonliness, the rejection, the confusion all coming out.

A touch to face, kindess, pity, love, acceptance all manifested in the most universal act of affection, touch.

Tears. Grief, guilt, joy and sorrow. The one act that leaves you open. An open heart full of emotion, the boundries that stop us from accepting what we truely feel are destroyed with tears.

気持ち悪い

きもちわるい

Kimochi warui.

End.

My mind snapped. I stared blankly at the black screen for god only knows how long. I'm not sure if it was a state of shock, or my own emotions playing havock with my brain. I finally got up, staggerd out side and went through about half a pack of smokes, crawled into bed, and stared at the roof. "Kimochi warui" going through my head, over and over and over again. I spend the next two days in a daze, I can't remeber much of those two days, my mind was completely blank.

After that, My mind tried to account for what I had just seen. Many things crossed my mind. Shinji cried over what has just happened, Asuka feels sick at the whole situation. Shinji took the chance at happiness only to be rejected. Asuka is disgusted in her self for loving such a man. Asuka is disgusted in her own actions, Asuka is disgusted in Shinjis actions. The have both resorted back to their original state of being and now have no choice but to find happiness in each other, they have the go back to the begining, they have to start again.

After I fianally regained enough sanity to function, I hook up the net and have a browse for anything NGE related (Naturally I found this site) hoping to find some clues. Nothing much really. Nothing solid. I feel kind of strange, a 20 year old man should not be effected by a cartoon of all things, but I am, NGE seriously effected me as a person, and slightly altered my take on reality.

I honestly can't believe you have read this far, but here is a language note on "Kimochi warui" that I would like to make. It litterally means "Bad feeling" the corret grammar is "Kimochi ga warui". "Kimochi" means "feeling" but in relation to "emotion" or "sensation". "warui" simply put means bad. This is often used in medical situations to the effect of "I'm Ill". The "ga" is a particle that indicates a subject normally, but in this instance is indicating an atribute if something.

It is known that in todays Japanese youth, Kimochi warui has been shorted to "kimo warui" to the slang effect of "Gross" or "Eww yuck, check that out". Now the subtitles translated "Kinochi Warui" as "I feel sick" wich is and honest translation of the language. I have heard another translation as "Disgusting". I disagree with both of these, although they are not worng as such, they don't display what I felt was really being said. From all the emotions running through my veins, all the story coming to an end, all the Japanese I have learnt and the way it was said, the translation that went straight through my head was "I think I'm gonna be sick".

At any rate, I am unsure I will ever completely understand not only the meaning of the last scene, but the emotions that I get when I watch it.

Liten to your friends when the reccomend an anime to watch. That is all.

EDIT: I feel so incredibly good having posted that. I fully understand if you can't be bothered reading it. It just felt great to get it of my chest.

[Shin-seiki]

This used to be my sig:
Kimochi warui:
"I feel sick." Short, and to the point.
"You make me sick." Even more to the point.
"Get OFF me, you blubbering idiot!" What I think she's really getting at...

[sachiel]

We're used to reading long posts here, I think. -points to OMF and Reichu-


I'd seen the TV series several times before watching EoE. I'd also seen Death and Rebirth.. but EoE made a big impact on me. I watched it at Shnooks' house, thinking I'd seen it before (not sure why), and we just both sat there amazed.

Of course there were the parts where we were screaming, "OHMYGOD! T_T", but for the most part we were just amazed.

[Sventevith]

I agree with you to 100% - geishaboy! You hit almost all the sore spots...

[Mr. Tines]

Hi, there! With that kind of friend, who needs enemies, eh?

I feel kind of strange, a 20 year old man should not be effected by a cartoon of all things

It's powerful and raw - I am substantially older than you, and it brought me up short, too. This sort of forum attracts those people who have been affected by it - but not all people have the right predisposition.

The final line I've seen colloquially rendered as "This sucks!"; and a French language Eva site I encountered one time discussed a concluding line "Tu es minable." - roughly "You're pathetic."

If you're willing not to be a strict deconstructionist, and examine extra-textual sources, you find that the ending was just "winged" :-

http://animaniajapan.livedoor.biz/archives/17687653.html

and that what we saw coalesced from endings in which Shinji woke on the beach holding a severed arm, or where Asuka was much more active and defiant (including kicking down her grave marker).

[The Eva Monkey]

EDIT: I feel so incredibly good having posted that. I fully understand if you can't be bothered reading it. It just felt great to get it of my chest.

By far one of the most powerful and impressive introductory posts I've seen on an Eva board. I'm glad you came here. Stick around, I have high hopes for you as a quality member of these parts.

From your first post, I imagine a spread from a coffee table book. On the left side, a peaceful image of you facing to the right, on a white background, with the text reading:

after watching the last episode (of what I now understand is the TV series) I felt completely at peace. I had a wonderful warm feeling inside me. I wanted to hug someone. I wanted to call my mother and tell her how much I love her. I wanted to find everyone that I have ever hurt in my life and honestly say I am sorry.

On the right, a dejected image of you facing to the left, on a black background, with text reading:

My mind snapped. I stared blankly at the black screen for god only knows how long. I'm not sure if it was a state of shock, or my own emotions playing havock with my brain. I finally got up, staggerd out side and went through about half a pack of smokes, crawled into bed, and stared at the roof. "Kimochi warui" going through my head, over and over and over again. I spend the next two days in a daze, I can't remeber much of those two days, my mind was completely blank.

The contrast of light and dark, TV and Movies, has never before been so eloquently stated.

If you haven't already, I suggest you give these pages a whirl:

http://www.evamonkey.com/em_writings.php
http://www.evamonkey.com/em_guide.htm

Welcome, and good luck finding your answers.

[ObsessiveMathsFreak]

It all fell into place. The love and the hate. This may sound strange, but after watching the last episode (of what I now understand is the TV series) I felt completely at peace.

This was more or less my reaction on finally seeing the TV ending. It's so full of hope and inspiration. It really has a happiness inducing quality about it, in stark contrast to the mind shattering barrage that is End Of Evangelion.

After I fianally regained enough sanity to function, I hook up the net and have a browse for anything NGE related (Naturally I found this site) hoping to find some clues. Nothing much really. Nothing solid. I feel kind of strange, a 20 year old man should not be effected by a cartoon of all things, but I am, NGE seriously effected me as a person, and slightly altered my take on reality.

More or less the story of most who have found their way here. Half drowned by the torrent of End of Evangelion and having swum through the treacherous tides of internet Eva material we find ourselves, rather like Asuka and Shinji, washed up on a lonesome little beach called Eva Monkey, with only our likewise broken and shattered companions for company.

Kimochi warui.

[The Eva Monkey]

Half drowned by the torrent of End of Evangelion and having swum through the treacherous tides of internet Eva material we find ourselves, rather like Asuka and Shinji, washed up on a lonesome little beach called Eva Monkey, with only our likewise broken and shattered companions for company.

:cry: I AM SO MOVED!!! :cry:

[Hiromakuta]

Aren´t these poetic posts so cute? :twisted:

[sachiel]

More or less the story of most who have found their way here. Half drowned by the torrent of End of Evangelion and having swum through the treacherous tides of internet Eva material we find ourselves, rather like Asuka and Shinji, washed up on a lonesome little beach called Eva Monkey, with only our likewise broken and shattered companions for company.

Kimochi warui.

:cry: -cries-

[ObsessiveMathsFreak]

Danm. I should have spiced it up with words like "flotsam" and "tattered on the seas of Eva misinformation" or something. Too late now. I'm busy feeling sick, or is that feeling disgusted?

[geishaboy]

Wow, I didn't expect so many people to actually read the whole thing, thanks, you are a real bunch of troopers. Go out and buy yourself a chocolate bar or something, you deserve it.

Hi, there! With that kind of friend, who needs enemies, eh?

Nice. When I asked him what he thought it ment he just said "Meh, it's just some fucked up shit". Buit then he is the kind of guy that wants understand everything, I think he simply rejected NGE.

By far one of the most powerful and impressive introductory posts I've seen on an Eva board. I'm glad you came here. Stick around, I have high hopes for you as a quality member of these parts. Wink

Oh c'mon, you're embarrassing me :oops: Oh and your Coffee Table Book analogy was rather touching. Thanks.

More or less the story of most who have found their way here. Half drowned by the torrent of End of Evangelion and having swum through the treacherous tides of internet Eva material we find ourselves, rather like Asuka and Shinji, washed up on a lonesome little beach called Eva Monkey, with only our likewise broken and shattered companions for company.

Kimochi warui.

Very nice. I think I'm going to really enjoy my time here.

[The Eva Monkey]

your Coffee Table Book analogy was rather touching.

I went through a rather attractive photo book featuring people with dreadlocks. Since then, I've been thinking a lot about a photo book featuring Eva fans and their testimony. Hence the analogy.

[Digitalex]

Welcome aboard. That was a really great post. I like the reasoning and emotion combined within your writeup on the last scene. I still wrestle with the different possibilities. If I had one question to Anno, the true meaning of Asuka's last line is what I would ask.

As for age, I'm older than you and was affected by the series as much as you if not more. This series offers a little of everything for everyone. You can enjoy it as superficially or deeply as you want.

[Zuggy]

Interesting...

Yellow geishaboy

I missed all this when it happened, but it was cool reading it from the accepting viewpoint

[S.O.M]

Bravo gaishaboy, your post is exactly how I felt the first time when I watch the series(minus the cigs lol)...actually I'm still effected the same when watch the series again and again for a better understanding, Cheers

[JinKazama]

gaishaboy you can say that agian, that is exactly how a lot of us felt finished watching Eva for the first time. the then feeling I had was.. I felt like i was born agian. 8) (sorry Do i talk like one of them doing customer testimonials for those TV Informercials?)

[Hexon.Arq]

I'm still fairly convinced that I actually was born again that morning; I won't lmit it by calling it a "feeling". The transformations past are too apparent even now to discredit.