Search found 8 matches

by Gryphon117
Sun Feb 11, 2018 1:59 pm
Forum: Fanfiction
Topic: An Insider's Look
Replies: 13
Views: 302

Re: An Insider's Look

Update time, in which we delve further into whatever place Shinji has landed in. Some of you might notice a fairly big change in the narration style of this scene, which is something that I intend to continue doing during the Shinji bits of the story, as a way to further differentiate it from the mo...
by Gryphon117
Fri Feb 09, 2018 2:02 pm
Forum: Fanfiction
Topic: Evangelion 2: A Legacy of Angels
Replies: 21
Views: 1054

Re: Evangelion 2: A Legacy of Angels

Okay, just finished reading the four chapters and the first thing I'll do is echo the issues some other posters had with the story: the beginning interactions between Shinji and Asuka ramp up way too fast, and the jumping between the scenes is mighty confusing sometimes, which isn't at all helped by...
by Gryphon117
Fri Feb 09, 2018 1:16 pm
Forum: Fanfiction
Topic: An Insider's Look
Replies: 13
Views: 302

Re: An Insider's Look

I'll repeat though, the passage I quoted in my previous post, was very very well written. If you can write more passages like that, you'll have a very good story. Good to know, although coming up with those is not something I can pull off with great ease, I'm afraid, even if my grasp on English is ...
by Gryphon117
Fri Feb 09, 2018 9:21 am
Forum: Fanfiction
Topic: An Insider's Look
Replies: 13
Views: 302

Re: An Insider's Look

It sounds better, but there's still instances where you're explaining rather than showing. You don't have to tell the ready why a character does something. If you show what the character does, the reader can infer why he/she does it. Yeah, I expected as much. May I ask you to note down one or two i...
by Gryphon117
Wed Feb 07, 2018 11:56 am
Forum: Fanfiction
Topic: An Insider's Look
Replies: 13
Views: 302

Re: An Insider's Look

Update time, in which we keep finding out about the aftermath of Arael's attack. A bit of a short scene again, I'm afraid, but we're hitting a streak of slightly longer scenes in the future, so hopefully they will make up for that. By the way, do let me know if you feel that enough information/feeli...
by Gryphon117
Sun Feb 04, 2018 9:05 am
Forum: Fanfiction
Topic: An Insider's Look
Replies: 13
Views: 302

Re: An Insider's Look

Thanks for the feedback, I'll try to keep your counsel in mind. ^_^ That's a problem that I've been having for a long time, now, especially on anything that's not first person PoV. And while I've been trying to cut down on the wordiness the more stories that I write (even succeeding, at times), walk...
by Gryphon117
Thu Feb 01, 2018 10:50 am
Forum: Fanfiction
Topic: An Insider's Look
Replies: 13
Views: 302

Re: An Insider's Look

Those will have to do, then, I'll see how the next update goes. Thanks for the help. ^_^
by Gryphon117
Thu Feb 01, 2018 10:30 am
Forum: Fanfiction
Topic: An Insider's Look
Replies: 13
Views: 302

An Insider's Look

Hello, Evageeks. New user here. One that has lurked around here from time to time for years now, mostly to check on any relevant news or topics about the series, but that's never really felt the need to register and participate due to not being much of a forumite. Until now. I come bearing a story t...

Go to advanced search