So, I got back on here recently. And I’m looking to make a new start, and to hopefully make amends from back then. I’m not sure this is the best place to do it, But I like to make things up for some people on here.

Anyway, thought I’d look for some advice.

1. Don't start the same discussions which you are saying you are trying to avoid.
2. Show that you have changed your perspective and actually taken in what other people said to you.
3. If you still disagree with other perspectives, say why and how - if those things are the same arguments you made years ago, refer to point 1.

It's entirely okay to have your own perspective - you do not have to agree with anybody else. But repeating the steps which brought you to the situation you are trying to avoid now will only lead you into that exact situation again. Blockio already said to you as much - instead of telling him to just ignore you, it might be more productive to actually take responsibility for your own behaviour and ask yourself why he still reacts to you the same way he reacted years ago. You say you want to make amends - then show that you are willing to change and listen to advice. Don't expect people to adjust their behaviour towards you if you do not adjust your own.

What Derantor said. I'm not the best person to offer advice since I wasn't around when you got banned, but from Blockio's reaction it appears that he has lingering bad feelings from the past and your behavior gave him the impression you hadn't changed.

Although this may be hard for you to accept, users who were familiar with your past self might be less tolerant of you in the absence of clear evidence that you've changed. Trust once lost is hard to rebuild, and sadly, memories of bad deeds or words stick. I have malingering bad feelings for users who were banned from here more than a decade ago because of hurtful things they said and did, even though they're quite likely to be far better and more mature people now.

You've taken the first step of saying that you wish a fresh start and seek our advice to do better, and consistently showing that you're willing to listen and adjust your own behavior will be a solid start to rebuilding that trust.

[quote="Derantor#895623"][/quote]
So basically, be more quiet?

I think I’ll do that.

That's one option, yes, but not the only one and not the deeper point. Read my post again: I never said you have to be quiet - but if you share your opinion, do not tell people to ignore your opinion. You said you do not want to talk about those topics - so don't. Be consistent in your behaviour - act the way you say you want to act. Disagreement is fine - but you have to engage with other perspectives if a discussion is to have any chance of being productive. When a discussion has run its course, and neither party has anything new to say, any further discussion is pointless, and only then shutting up and agreeing to disagree becomes the only viable option.

Point three on my list has two parts for that exact reason. In the one interaction we had in the thread about Asuka, you said that there is nothing to her but being a narcissistic bitch, and her circumstances don't count, more or less. I pointed out that that is evidently not true, which you dismissed by saying "Well, those instances of her being anything other are far and few between" - which means they are not enough to change your view, and, by implication, don't even count as evidence. You are defending the same perspective you were defending two years ago, with the same tactics: Dismissing evidence if it doesn't fit your perspective, and you already were provided plenty of evidence in the past in addition to the two examples I gave. In the other thread, you said Misato doesn't take accountability. When I asked why you think that, you just restated your point of view without actually pointing towards any evidence in favor of it, implying that it is self-evident: "We are talking about Misato, right?" Both of those things are bad form and evidence that you did not change your behaviour or your views, comparing it to your previous posts.

You said you want to change. Then do it. That was my point, and what Ursus told you as well. Change your views, or change the way you act in a discussion, or don't repeat the same discussions you already had. Those are all your choices and your responsibility. Act the way you say you want to act, and do it consistently. Then people will happily talk with you about any topic you want to talk about.

[quote="Derantor#895651"][/quote]
Okay, so I was wrong about the whole thing. I think that much is clear now. I’ve been wrong the whole time.

So I’ll avoid some Asuka related topics, not react negatively, and be sure to listen to other perspectives. And just not post so much. I learned that lesson now.

So, I’ll steer from those and focus on some more positive stuff. I’ve been to the Utterly Off Topic section and talked a bit about tv and movie related stuff. The last thing I need is more negativity that will cause more people to hate me.

I’ve decided to focus on something a little more productive and to lighten the mood for both mine and others’ sake.

I'm sorry if I was overly blunt and direct, but I don't hate you. I just criticized you, and tried to offer some more direct advice by giving you examples of behaviour you could avoid in the future, trying to be as clear as possible by underscoring the important parts. Again, I am not saying you should post less. Just don't repeat the same stuff and expect a different reaction than last time. I understand your reaction, though. Nobody likes having their mistakes pointed out to them.

Focusing on positive stuff is actually a good idea, and staying away from loaded topics is as well. When you are calm and happy, it's much easier to enact positive change in yourself. Just do that for a while and see how people react. It will offer you a different perspective on things.

Derantor wrote:I'm sorry if I was overly blunt and direct, but I don't hate you. I just criticized you, and tried to offer some more direct advice by giving you examples of behaviour you could avoid in the future, trying to be as clear as possible by underscoring the important parts.

That’s alright. I understand that there are people here who were annoyed with me and now wants nothing to do with me. I guess that’s the consequence I just have to live with and try to move on. I do appreciate the advice you’ve given me though. I’ll just give the others time to cool down. I’d like to be able to forget the troubles that happened on my part. I’d hate to make those kind of troubles again.

That's a good mindset. Good luck in your efforts!

C.T.1290 wrote: I understand that there are people here who were annoyed with me and now wants nothing to do with me.

I've noticed you making statements to that effect. It also appears you have a tendency to jump to conclusions about what people mean, like summarizing Derantor's advice as "So basically, be more quiet?" which like he said, was never one of his suggestions. So I get the impression that you think people are predisposed to feel the worst towards you and that you're posting based on the assumption that others are out to get you. If this is how you feel, I think it's taking an unnecessarily negative view of the situation.

Just because others don't trust you right away doesn't mean that they're actively hostile to you, and you don't need to actively assume that they mean the worst because of your past actions. Do better, and they'll respond in kind. Pay attention to what people say rather than coming to conclusions about what they think. I mean this constructively, not as a judgment about you.

You don't need to keep saying you're afraid that others will think badly of you, you've already said so and we understand. No need to keep bringing it up.

You've also stated your intentions to put the past behind you and don't intend to make those troubles again. That's a very positive thing. If you keep focusing on making good for the past, people will accept you for being a far better person in the present rather than being angry with your past self.

all these rules applies for a completely new member like me? https://hgh.to/dbol-steroid/
i don't want a "new" start. i am new here so hi everyone else

This thread is about a specific user returning from a ban who was interested in advice on making up for the past. You can introduce yourself here.

Reichu wrote:This thread is about a specific user returning from a ban who was interested in advice on making up for the past. You can introduce yourself here.

Yes, I’m aware that my presence and my interaction with the other users here haven’t been...pleasant. Now I’m wanting to change that to make up for the past times. I know that some users here aren’t too fond of me, and my reputation wasn’t the best, can’t say that I blamed them.

Now that I got back, I’m willing to start over, to put that whole mess behind me.