Overanalyzing weapon designs

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Overanalyzing weapon designs

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Postby Blockio » Tue Mar 13, 2018 2:52 pm

With all the talk about the practically every other aspect of the franchise, I feel like the weapons used by the Evangelions are somewhat underrepresented. So, in the spirit of overanalyzing every pixel, lets see if the weapons are actually any good if a replica of them was used in by humans in the respective era of warfare.

Knifes/Daggers:
-Unit 01 NGE/NTE: there is literally nothing to complain about either design: Its straightforward, doesnt have any ridiculous angles or spikes, and seems to be rather tough.
-Unit 02 NGE: The idea of having the blade replacable isnt bad, but given that it is used for combat and is put under great stress, I highly doubt that it will hold. If anything, the replacable parts are probably only necessary for the very reason that they exist in the first place, not even taking into consideration that the blade is vibrating.
-Prog. Dagger: While the slot in the middle might pose a bit of an issue regarding stability, I dont see a problem with the overall design of it being a two-bladed dagger, although it might be a bit more useful as a throwing knife compared to the way it is used on-screen

Long weapons:
-Sonic Glaive: from all I can tell it is based off a naginata, which (from personal experience) I can confirm is a very capable weapon. The blade however, is a bit oddly shaped and I fear that this section will get stuck al lot, hindering its overall effectivity
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-Smash Hawk: probably the most well-designed battle axe I have seen in a long time. Nothing more needs to be said.
-Ooken/Great Sword/lump of metal: Where do I start with this... no. Just... no. Way too heavy, at least 50% os the weapon - and by that the weight - is completely useless all the time, the handle is a mess and the blade itself is way too massive... I highly doubt you could even lift it, let alone fight with it.
-Magorox (Original version): Now THIS is what I call a beautiful weapon. The only things that I have mixed feelings about are the spiky things, as they might get stuck on something during cuts or the fact that the handle is seperated, but thats probably just personal preference, seeing how the style I am practising works a lot with changing the position of the hands on the handle. The wristguard however is very good
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-Magorox (alternative version): While I am not entirely sure if the yellow guard would hol up to much abuse, if I had to pick any melee weapon from Eva to fight with, it would most definitely be this one, given that it takes everything that is good about the first version of the Magorox and eliminates the few bad things.
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-Magorox (FINAL preview): Basically the same as the other Magorox, but the wristguard is WAY too huge.
-Bizenosafune: A severe case of "looks both cool and useful, but is actually crap". While the range is vertainly impressive, it is in fact so impressive that "unwieldy" is a nice way to put it, to the point where you would probably better off completely unarmed , because the weight would literally drag you off your feet. Combine that with the fact that even if you were to somehow wield it, when striking, all force comes down to those two parts, it is bound to break sooner rather than later
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-Counter Sword (Original): Something seriously went wrong when designing this. The handle is obviously meant for two-handed use, but we only ever see it wielded in one hand. On top of that, if you were to actually used it with both hands, given that you obviously cut in this direction, your hand would need to be put something like this, greatly limiting your options of movement. The blade however is very nice.
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-Counter Sword (alternative version): Blade and handle as individual pieces are very well designed, however I fear that this part would plain snap the first time it hits anything.
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-Dual Saw: What even is this abomination. Apart from the obviously ridiculous weights and general unwieldyness, the mere concept of having two chainsaws strapped together to create a striking tool is just plain ridiculous.
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-Double-Bladed Spear: Probably very, very difficult to effectively wield, but I have seen people do it, and if you can pull it off, this thing will be a powerful weapon.
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-EURO II's sword and spear: Both are nice and nimble, great weapons even if you cant wield both at a time.
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-Thunder Spear: A knife attached to a nonexistent gun. Completely misses the point of a bayonet, might as well take a regular knife. Next.
-Angel Spine (at least I think its called that): To bulky for a ranged weapon, and definitely too bulky for a melee weapon. Next.
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-A.W. Mastema: It keeps getting worse... how does one even swing this thing? Next.
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-Whatever this thing is: Probably thge worst offender so far. Way too heavy (even without the rocket propulsion!) and will probably shatter the first time it hits anything or is fired (remember people, no weird spiral structures on weapons. There is a reason they arent on any historical weapons). Next.
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-Jet Alone Kai's Hammer: To end things on a bright note, this is everything you would expect out of a hammer: Top-heavy, no fancy spikes or anything, and absolutely devastating when it hits.

Ranged Weapons:
-Pallet Rifle: Generally a good design, the only issue I see are the ways of reloading and maintenance. Or rather I dont see tham, which would pose quite a problem in any real combat situation.
-Handgun: Anything modeled after a Deagle is generally a good design. If I had to pick any weapon in a modern-day encounter, it would be this one.
-Gatling Gun: Not sure why this thing is there, and the muzzle brakes seem to be not that well thought-through (seeing how they barely stop any air, thereby not really doing their job to reduce the recoil), but other than that a good weapon, even if the ammo drum appears to be a bit small relative to the rate of fire.
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-Bazooka: The only issue I see here is the size of the magazines and following that the size of the ammunition, which would probably be pretty underwhelming in both its range and its effect on target
For comparison, the Eva bazooka with its tiny magazine vs a real piece of bazooka ammo  SPOILER: Show
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-Sniper Rifle: Again, basic and overall good design. They really did their homework when it comes to ranged weapons.
-Positron Rifle: I shouldnt have said anything. The muzzle looks like a flamethrower, but it lacks fuel tanks, the barrel looks like a sniper rifle, but it lacks a proper scope and and what the hell is that buttstock even supposed to be. Next.
-Positron Sniper Rifle (TV version): Now THIS is a good weapon. Nothing else to say, thats how a non-kinetic sniper rifle should look like.
-Positron Sniper Rifle (Rebuild): Why does a sniper rifle need an ammo drum? Let alone a sniper rifle that doesnt even fire proper ammunition?
-Electromagnetic Crossbow: The design is not bad, but of what use would it be when you can have sniper rifles? Not even talking about the ridiculous weight this thing would probably have.
-Q Sniper Rifle: Apart from the ridiculous size, the double optics and (if the massive muzzle brake and buttstock with an extra grip are anything to go by) the enormous knockback a great design, although it probably is a bit awkward to reload.
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So yeah, overall most weapon designs are pretty good, even if there are some that are very much impactical I'm looking at you, ANIMA
Last edited by Blockio on Tue Aug 28, 2018 1:00 pm, edited 2 times in total.
I can see why Gendo hired Misato to do the actual commanding. He tried it once and did an appalling job. ~ AWinters
Your point of view is horny, and biased. ~ glitz2hard
What about titty-ten? ~ Reichu
The movies function on their own terms. If people can't accept them on those terms, and keep expecting them to be NGE, then they probably should have realized a while ago that they weren't going to have a good time. ~ Words of wisdom courtesy of Reichu

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Re: Overanalyzing weapon designs

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Postby ZQFMGB » Mon Aug 27, 2018 4:31 pm

Wow, that's amazing. If I may ask, would the Spears of Longinus and Cassius be practical in real life ?
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Chief scientist : looking amazed and puzzled when something goes wrong with an Eva.
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Re: Overanalyzing weapon designs

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Postby Reichu » Mon Aug 27, 2018 10:40 pm

Interesting stuff, but I might ask you to remove the reference to Jet Alone "Prime"... if you would be so generous... :emogendo:

Also, this part looks like it was left unfinished:
-Counter Sword (alternative version): Blade and handle as individual pieces are very well designed, however I fear that this part


Pretty sure, as well, that NGE features two distinct bazooka types: the huge one from episode 18 (who you commented upon), and the smaller ones that get double-wielded in 19.
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Re: Overanalyzing weapon designs

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Postby Blockio » Tue Aug 28, 2018 1:08 pm

View Original PostZQFMGB wrote:Wow, that's amazing. If I may ask, would the Spears of Longinus and Cassius be practical in real life ?

Did... did I really forget those two? :facepalm:
Longinus: Probably somewhat uncomfortable to grip with the twisted handle/shaft and the nonconsistent thickness, but overall a good weapon for both striking and stabbing, with excellent balance for a spear (tip being hollow.ish removes a great deal of weight, on top of some wrist protection). If EoE is anything to go by, the rear end is also pointy enough for stabs. Despite it's questionable would looks probably my go-to in a real fight.
Adding to it's overall believability, the fact that it has been forged into a physical weapon by profesional blacksmiths before (except that the thing was nearly 30 kilos, far too heavy for a weapon as nimble as Longinus looks
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Cassius: The tip is FAR too huge compared to the rest of the thing, making it not only ridiculously top-heavy, but also fragile and would probably snap sooner or later, especially with the broad tip and nice edges inviting to use it for striking over stabbing. This also goes for the heat spear seen in Q.
Now... on to the special shortcomings of Cassius in particular: The handle.
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Just... look at it. Even trying to wield this thing bare-handed would tear your hands to shreds, on top of the metal being far too thin, making the overall construction way too flimsy, and the weird DNA-rear end prevents any sort of stabbing or strikes from this side of the spear. Also, exactly why did the ONLY OTHER POINT OF CONTACT between the helixes need to be split?
TL;DR: Cassius would fall apart upon picking it up.

Reichu wrote:Interesting stuff, but I might ask you to remove the reference to Jet Alone "Prime"... if you would be so generous... :emogendo:

Fixed, thanks!
Also, this part looks like it was left unfinished:
"-Counter Sword (alternative version): Blade and handle as individual pieces are very well designed, however I fear that this part"

For some reason, the thinbg supposed to come after it came before it... fixed it now

Pretty sure, as well, that NGE features two distinct bazooka types: the huge one from episode 18 (who you commented upon), and the smaller ones that get double-wielded in 19.

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Yeah, those seem to be a bit differently sized, but their functionality/my view on their effectiveness is pretty much the same, overall not bad with possibly a limit in range and explosive force.


Also, why are those two in the top results for "Evangelion Bazooka  SPOILER: Show
Literally the fourth result
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further down, still on page 1. WTF?
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Last edited by Blockio on Thu Aug 30, 2018 12:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.
I can see why Gendo hired Misato to do the actual commanding. He tried it once and did an appalling job. ~ AWinters
Your point of view is horny, and biased. ~ glitz2hard
What about titty-ten? ~ Reichu
The movies function on their own terms. If people can't accept them on those terms, and keep expecting them to be NGE, then they probably should have realized a while ago that they weren't going to have a good time. ~ Words of wisdom courtesy of Reichu

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Re: Overanalyzing weapon designs

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Postby Reichu » Tue Aug 28, 2018 6:24 pm

Your Cassius link is broken. You seem to be hot-linking to a blog, which could explain why. We try to discourage hot-linking, but if you're going to do it at least preview your post first.
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Re: Overanalyzing weapon designs

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Postby Blockio » Thu Aug 30, 2018 12:54 pm

I did preview, and it does show for me... but I'll fix it in a second
I can see why Gendo hired Misato to do the actual commanding. He tried it once and did an appalling job. ~ AWinters
Your point of view is horny, and biased. ~ glitz2hard
What about titty-ten? ~ Reichu
The movies function on their own terms. If people can't accept them on those terms, and keep expecting them to be NGE, then they probably should have realized a while ago that they weren't going to have a good time. ~ Words of wisdom courtesy of Reichu

ZQFMGB
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Posts: 67
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Re: Overanalyzing weapon designs

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Postby ZQFMGB » Wed Sep 05, 2018 4:08 am

Wow, the Spear of Cassius sure looks impractical... where is Mark 06 supposed to hold it ?!
Nerv is recruiting new employees ! Check the list below to see what are the required competences for each job !

Commander : being as unexpressive as possible and doing a perfect "Gendo pose".
Vice Commander : looking constipated.
Operations director : shouting orders which have 95% chances of failing.
Chief scientist : looking amazed and puzzled when something goes wrong with an Eva.
Bridge operator : saying what's going wrong with an Eva and which emergency procedure isn't working.
Therapist : thera what ?


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