Reconciliation

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C.T.1290
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Reconciliation

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Postby C.T.1290 » Sun Feb 04, 2018 6:02 pm

Hey everyone! C.T.1290 here!

So, I decided to write my very first EVA fanfic. I'm going to have this one be a post EoE fic. I know there's been several to a dozen, each of them being a little from one another based the viewer's interpretation of the show of what happens next, so I decided to give a shot of my take of what happens right after EoE.

Now, my understanding of the characters may not be %100 accurate, so I apologize if they get a little ooc. I also want to make the outcome as realistic as I possibly can, or something close that's within their characterization.

So, without further ado, I present to you the first chapter.

SPOILER: Show
Two children laid together at the beach.
One being a boy fourteen years of age, dressed in a school uniform consisting of a white button up shirt with black slacks. The other is the girl same age as him, clad in a red skin tight rubber suit. Though unlike the boy, she was covered in bandages over her right arm and a gauze pad over her left eye. Their names are Shinji Ikari and Asuka Langley Soryu.

The two children had recently returned from the cataclysmic event known as the Human Instrumentality Project, also known as the Third Impact. The event had ended all human life on the planet and merged their souls into a single being known as Lilith, the second angel.

But Shinji had rejected the aspect of Instrumentality and chose to instead to give everyone the second chance to return to life and live his even with the hardships in it, since he now decided that his existence was worth living. Upon returning, he noticed that his former partner was right next to him. The first thing he did was to strangle her, to confirm her existence. Though it could also be due to the pent up anger he had towards her for rejecting his desperate plea for help for not abandoning him, as many others did. And Asuka had responded to his actions with...

A soft caress.

This simple and kind touch had stopped Shinji. Realising what he was doing, he soon broke down in tears. Asuka then turned her gaze down to him with a cold expression.

"How disgusting."

Time has passed, and Shinji soon got off of her and laid down next to her, staring up at the sky, which was now stained by a single red streak stretching across it. So much thought have been running though his head. After all his experience, after spending his entire lifetime in self-pity and loathing, he chose to come back to this life rather than spending it in his dream land where there no suffering, because even then, that was nothing but an illusion. And thus, he chose reality.

He turned his head to face Asuka, who is now looking up at the sky. He quickly averted his gaze, and turned to lay on his side with his back facing her. The guilt was still fresh on his mind from what he had done. It was because of him that she was killed during the Battle against the MPEs, and during that time, he did absolutely nothing. There was also the incident at the hospital which he could never take back.

'She must really hate me,' he thought, 'can't say I blame her though. I did deserve it, after all.'

Asuka continues to stare at the sky before turning her gaze at the boy laying down next to her.
The resentment she had towards him was still there. She held him responsible for the things that had happened to her. It was because of him that she died, and he did nothing but wallow in his self pity. Not to mention that he purposely jerked himself over her while she was lying comatose in her hospital bed. There was no way in hell that she would ever forgive him for those two things. The thought of them sickens her, just as much as the current sight of him does.

'Stupid idiot,' she thought venomously, 'after coming back, he's just as pathetic as ever.'

Asuka then moved to get up, struggling at first before maintaining her balance. She was about to leave before taking one last look at Shinji, who still facing away from her. Her face contorted with disgust before turning to leave, looking to get away from this forsaken place and the pathetic boy behind her.

Shinji continues to lie in his current position, not knowing that Asuka had left him.


Well, I think that's it for now. Sorry if this chapter seems a little short, but you can expect more on the way. I'm not sure how often I might update this, depending on what I got going on life. I'll stick to it as much as I can.

Feel free to leave a review. Some constructive criticism is welcome, though I'd rather it weren't so harsh.

See you around!

Edit: I decided to edit the title a bit and just have be Reconcilation. And I noticed that no one had reviewed my fanfic yet. That makes so sad. :sniffle:
But I you can take your time though. No hurry here.
"Who dares to summon the master of masters, the deliverer of darkness, the Shogun of sorrow, Aku!?"-Aku

"KONO DIO DA!"-Dio

Asuka'sBigBrother
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Re: Reconciliation

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Postby Asuka'sBigBrother » Thu Feb 22, 2018 3:53 am

Some nice scenery but you're telling the reader too much. Don't tell us what Asuka thinks of Shinji, show us by describing her face, thoughts, ect. You spend too much time expositing on what these characters are feeling or thinking rather than showing us what they think or feel with their actions. This reads as a sparks notes summary, not a story.
Just a big bro looking out for sistah

Mess with this crew, and I'll give you a blister

C.T.1290
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Re: Reconciliation

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Postby C.T.1290 » Thu Feb 22, 2018 10:38 am

Finally! Someone who reviews my story! I've been waiting for someone to give their input. I thought I might start the next chapter without a review first. Thank you! Thank you! This means sooo much to me!

And about my writing, I guess that you may be right about maybe being a bit too detailed. I don't have much experience in writing a fanfic. As you can guess, this is my first time. Plus, it's been a while since I've been writing my original story( not a fanfic, but my own original work that I'm planning for my manga and/or light novel series.).

But anyway, thanks for the input. I'll see when I could put up the next chapter. I think that writing a fanfic might be a good way to understand the characters a little more( I know I've been having a hard time with Asuka. Lol). And also, as I stated earlier, I though I give my input on what happens next after EoE, and it'd be interesting on what some people might think of my theory.

Stick around! :D
"Who dares to summon the master of masters, the deliverer of darkness, the Shogun of sorrow, Aku!?"-Aku

"KONO DIO DA!"-Dio

Asuka'sBigBrother
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Re: Reconciliation

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Postby Asuka'sBigBrother » Thu Feb 22, 2018 12:04 pm

View Original PostC.T.1290 wrote:
And about my writing, I guess that you may be right about maybe being a bit too detailed.

Nope, that's not the issue. The issue is what that detail is spent on. Don't tell us what the characters are thinking. Use sufficient detail that we can infer what the characters think.
Just a big bro looking out for sistah

Mess with this crew, and I'll give you a blister


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