The Shinji Ikari Rebuild Project

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Re: The Shinji Ikari Rebuild Project

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Postby Overly Smug Mari » Mon Oct 03, 2016 1:45 pm

Cant wait for more of this.

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Re: The Shinji Ikari Rebuild Project

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Postby Ray » Mon Oct 03, 2016 3:30 pm

Something is coming. . . Don't worry.

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Re: The Shinji Ikari Rebuild Project

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Postby Ray » Thu Oct 27, 2016 5:10 pm

Full disclosure. I posted this before on another thread. I'm working on an original chapter that I haven't written before, this just content to bridge the gap between updates.

SPOILER: Show
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Last edited by Ray on Sun Jun 27, 2021 10:25 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: The Shinji Ikari Rebuild Project

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Postby xfs » Fri Oct 28, 2016 3:40 am

I've read this as a sample before but the new thing this time is the decision to put it immediately after the previous section. This puts things in quite a different perspective.

The change of pace is refreshing and fitting to the story. It was quite intense in the last section and now it's slowed down a lot. Shinji wakes up to an unfamiliar ceiling. It is like ep. 2 again when the fight against the third Angel wasn't shown immediately but only recollected through flashbacks. Here the previous struggle finished but a lot of issues remain unsolved and ambiguous, which is an advantageous position to start for more development in case you have planned some flashbacks. Or it can also serve other purposes to not explain the time skip at all, because what could have happened is not hard to extrapolate. The hard to guess and uncertain part is the attitude of other characters. That would put us in a similar emotional setting like 3.0 again. In both cases it calls for more stories.

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Re: The Shinji Ikari Rebuild Project

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Postby Ray » Sun Dec 25, 2016 12:21 am

Sorry guys, Looks ;ike I'm not gonna be able to make my Christmas deadline. I'll try to have it out b4 new years.

Merry Christmas, and God help us all.

Edit: Looks like It's not gonna come out till later. Sorry.

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Postby Ray » Mon Oct 16, 2017 1:25 am

I'm wondering if I should scrap this and start over. I'm not nearly as angry as I was when I first started it.

Though I can see my writing is decent enough, it definitely could use some improvements, and I need to figure out where exactly I was planning on taking the story once I got Shinji off the Wunder. . .

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Re: The Shinji Ikari Rebuild Project

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Postby C.T.1290 » Tue Oct 17, 2017 1:51 am

You should continue this, I'd like to see where this is all going.

Now for my review, I've been reading the whole thing in about a single night. I didn't really think Maya would be intent on killing Shinji, and even helping with the same goal to accomplish that. I'm surprised with her. And Misato and Asuka actually caring about Shinji after his near death experience? After everything he had done them? Even when Misato was thinking about "putting him out of his misery"? And what reason did Asuka have in defending Shinji from the first man willing to shoot him when he was. Brought back?

I'm looking forward to how rest will played out.
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Re: The Shinji Ikari Rebuild Project

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Postby Ray » Tue Oct 17, 2017 11:37 pm

View Original PostC.T.1290 wrote:Now for my review, I've been reading the whole thing in about a single night. I didn't really think Maya would be intent on killing Shinji, and even helping with the same goal to accomplish that. I'm surprised with her.


SPOILER: Show
Yeah. . . I actually had some plans for that. Rits played a part in it. There's a reason you-know-who was even able to get a hold of her gun in the first place. and who besides Misato is closer to Ritz than anyone else?


And Misato and Asuka actually caring about Shinji after his near death experience? After everything he had done them? Even when Misato was thinking about "putting him out of his misery"? And what reason did Asuka have in defending Shinji from the first man willing to shoot him when he was. Brought back?

I'm looking forward to how rest will played out.


The way I see it. It's like when you hate someone for wronging you in a very intimate way. You say "I wish they were dead" or "I hope something awful happens to you for what you did to me" and in the moment you mean it. But then something bad actualy DOES happen to the person you wish Ill will on, and you wish you hadn't thought that thought when something ACTUALLY awful does happen to them.

There's this guy I met on an ASOIF forum where we talked about Theon Greyjoy. I basically said "Did Theon deserve SOME comeuppance for what he did to the Starks? Yes. Did he deserve what Ramsey did to him? NO! a thousand times NO!"

He made the comparison to a 'shitty-ex girlfriend' whom you hate and wish something awful would happen to, and then they get raped, or blinded, or lose a hand by someone who thinks the way you do and you feel guilt for even thinking it after seeing the person you hated for hurting you actually dying. Or in a pain you can't EVER hope to empathize with.

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Re: The Shinji Ikari Rebuild Project

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Postby Lennik » Sun Oct 22, 2017 7:35 pm

View Original PostRay wrote:The way I see it. It's like when you hate someone for wronging you in a very intimate way. You say "I wish they were dead" or "I hope something awful happens to you for what you did to me" and in the moment you mean it. But then something bad actualy DOES happen to the person you wish Ill will on, and you wish you hadn't thought that thought when something ACTUALLY awful does happen to them.

There's this guy I met on an ASOIF forum where we talked about Theon Greyjoy. I basically said "Did Theon deserve SOME comeuppance for what he did to the Starks? Yes. Did he deserve what Ramsey did to him? NO! a thousand times NO!"

He made the comparison to a 'shitty-ex girlfriend' whom you hate and wish something awful would happen to, and then they get raped, or blinded, or lose a hand by someone who thinks the way you do and you feel guilt for even thinking it after seeing the person you hated for hurting you actually dying. Or in a pain you can't EVER hope to empathize with.


YES. I can't remember where I read something similar (TV Tropes, maybe?) but the main argument was that Theon Greyjoy is meant to be an examination of what happens when you wish a character you hate would get exactly the kind of torture you think they deserve, and then they get it, and you realize that wishing that on someone is still all kinds of horrible and rabid and twisted, and then you realize you really don't like it.

I don't think Misato and Asuka want Shinji hurt, but they are extremely mad at him, and of course him getting shot would be a splash of cold water to them. It's one thing to think, "Damn it, I could kill you for that." It's another to see someone else actually kill him for that. (He gets better, but still.)

I really like this story, and whatever you decide to do with it, I hope you at least do something. Shinji confiding in Kaji like he's the only person the kid trusts gave me a lot of hope for his character, even if Shinji was a grumpy bear about it.

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Re: The Shinji Ikari Rebuild Project

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Postby C.T.1290 » Mon Oct 23, 2017 1:17 am

View Original PostLennik wrote:YES. I can't remember where I read something similar (TV Tropes, maybe?) but the main argument was that Theon Greyjoy is meant to be an examination of what happens when you wish a character you hate would get exactly the kind of torture you think they deserve, and then they get it, and you realize that wishing that on someone is still all kinds of horrible and rabid and twisted, and then you realize you really don't like it.

There is one character from rooster teeth's web series called RWBY that I despised most of all; Cinder Fall. I wished for the most horrible demise to happened to her after what she did to Pyrrha Nikos, such as torture and crucifixion. Another character called Adam Tarus is next on the list. I wanted him to pay dearly for what he did to Yang Xiao Long, like having him smashed into bits 'till nothing's left of him, like what EVA 01 did to Bardiel when the Dummy system was activated.
I don't think Misato and Asuka want Shinji hurt, but they are extremely mad at him, and of course him getting shot would be a splash of cold water to them. It's one thing to think, "Damn it, I could kill you for that." It's another to see someone else actually kill him for that. (He gets better, but still.)

I still don't really believe that they actually care for him. Remember Misato wanted to blow his head off and Asuka wanted to take Shinji down while in Terminal Dogma. I mean, how can people be so positive about personal development for these two characters? Asuka in NGE wasn't exactly the best character, she made many mistakes and made no efforts to make up for them to redeem herself and become a better person. Misato was also a poor excuse of a guardian and had not made things better for Shinji when he was down in the dumps. And Q made them into the worse versions of themselves, being cold and heartless towards Shinji. Misato has stooped down to Gendo's level when she took on his role and Asuka is second in that; much like her NGE self, but even more so. So what hope is there that they'll make things right with Shinji, so that he doesn't commit suicide because of how the world and everyone in it sees him?
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Re: The Shinji Ikari Rebuild Project

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Postby Lennik » Tue Oct 24, 2017 9:38 pm

View Original PostC.T.1290 wrote:I still don't really believe that they actually care for him. Remember Misato wanted to blow his head off and Asuka wanted to take Shinji down while in Terminal Dogma.


No, because neither of them actually wanted either of those things, which is why:

1.) Misato did NOT blow his head off
2.) Asuka went back to pull him out of that plug after cooling off.

Stop ignoring things that are inconvenient to your reading of the film. I'm not having this conversation again.

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Re: The Shinji Ikari Rebuild Project

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Postby Microsoft_Sam » Wed Jan 17, 2018 3:21 pm

@Ray

OK. Let's get something straight here, you just e'ffed up WILLE, did you actually killed them because of your vendetta against them? Did you kill Misato?
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Postby Ray » Wed Jan 17, 2018 3:36 pm

No. I did not kill them. I just wanted to put the fear of god in them.

On top of that I was in a pretty dark place when I wrote this. I was in a bad mood and felt I needed to write something to get it out of my system.

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Postby Microsoft_Sam » Wed Jan 17, 2018 3:49 pm

View Original PostRay wrote:No. I did not kill them. I just wanted to put the fear of god in them.

On top of that I was in a pretty dark place when I wrote this. I was in a bad mood and felt I needed to write something to get it out of my system.


Good, glad you feel somewhat relieved after that.
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Postby Ray » Wed Jan 17, 2018 4:18 pm

I'm not sure if I even want to finish this, because I feel to continue it when I'm not in the emotional state I was when I wrote it would be dishonest. And I don't want to have to put myself back in that spot to make the writing as good as I want it to be.

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Re: The Shinji Ikari Rebuild Project

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Postby C.T.1290 » Tue Jan 23, 2018 5:52 pm

View Original PostRay wrote:I'm not sure if I even want to finish this, because I feel to continue it when I'm not in the emotional state I was when I wrote it would be dishonest. And I don't want to have to put myself back in that spot to make the writing as good as I want it to be.

I guess you could rewatch the film to see if you could get that old feeling back.

Up to you though.
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Postby Ray » Tue Jan 23, 2018 9:17 pm

Honest opinion. What do you think about what i wrote so far?

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Re: The Shinji Ikari Rebuild Project

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Postby C.T.1290 » Tue Jan 23, 2018 11:14 pm

View Original PostRay wrote:Honest opinion. What do you think about what i wrote so far?

I think it's pretty good. It seems like a believable concept on what could happen in 3.0+1.0. And from his harsh treatments to placing him in a more calm environment, I'm interested to see where it goes next. And you make it seem like that Misato and Asuka does care about him (judging from the last few chapters), even though I had a hard time believing it at first.

I know I said it before, but I think you should continue this. But maybe watch the film again and see if could reignite that spark you had before.
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Re: The Shinji Ikari Rebuild Project

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Postby MisterHalt » Wed Jan 24, 2018 8:38 am

I'm in two minds about this story. On the one hand, I really want to see the rest of it. I want to know how Asuka and Misato feel about Shinji coming within a hair's breadth of dying. I want to see what happens to Hideki when things get found out.

On the other, I feel that you shouldn't try and force yourself to write it if you don't feel like you can do it justice.

In the end, it's entirely up to you, Ray.
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Re: The Shinji Ikari Rebuild Project

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Postby Lennik » Wed Jan 24, 2018 7:54 pm

View Original PostRay wrote:Honest opinion. What do you think about what i wrote so far?


I like it, but I know what it's like to just not feel motivated to write anything. If I had an answer for how to get over writer's block, I wouldn't be here talking to folks right now. :lol:


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