Braver Than We Are

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jcmoorehead
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Braver Than We Are

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Postby jcmoorehead » Fri Nov 10, 2017 6:18 pm

Hi everyone,

Just thought I'd let you know about my latest Evangelion fic titled Braver Than We Are. For this one I've returned to writing for the original universe. It's set five years after End Of Evangelion in a world that has returned to some normalcy. I don't really want to give away too many details about this one but expect WAFF/Romance and some drama in there.

The idea for this one has actually been in my head for some time, it was there before I finished YM(N)RA but I wanted to wait until that was done before posting anything. I kinda started this one shortly after I finished YM(N)RA but work on it stalled as I wasn't 100% happy with it, I decided to make a few changes to how it was written last week and now I'm a lot happier with it. So hopefully you all enjoy it. ^_^

Table Of Contents:
Chapter 01 - Subterrenea
Chapter 02 - Both Sides Of The Story
Chapter 03 - Lost Boy
Last edited by jcmoorehead on Fri Nov 24, 2017 9:07 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Braver Than We Are

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Postby silvermoonlight » Sat Nov 11, 2017 5:40 am

Awesome! I'm so looking forward to reading this ^_^

SPOILER: Show
Image
Anywhere can be paradise as long as you have the will to live. After all, you are alive, so you will always have the chance to be happy.

My Eva fanfiction ff.net Fading In To The Stolen Light For download version please go to AO3

jcmoorehead
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Re: Braver Than We Are

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Postby jcmoorehead » Thu Nov 16, 2017 4:22 am

Second chapter is finished I'm just holding off for a few days to post it so i can make progress on the third chapter. I always like to have at least half of the next chapter complete before I release on. I do however have two previews of this to post.

First we have an introduction to Asuka:
SPOILER: Show
August 15th
Cafe – Berlin – Early Morning

As I step out of the hot morning sun that shines overhead in Berlin and into the cool air-conditioned space that the café offers I reach up and take off my sunglasses. I look around and see a few people are here already. University students mostly come to study or recover from a night out drinking. Finally, I spot my target, a small and empty seat by the window, a perfect spot for me. I walk over and set my laptop down on the table, plug it into the wall socket and prepare to start my work.

I'm barely able to load up the document before I hear a loud voice from behind me call out my name, "Asuka! It's so nice to see you, your usual?"

I turn to look and call back with a grin, "Of course!"

I see the source of the voice get to work behind the counter. He's the owner of this café, a short, jolly rotund man with a bushy blonde moustache. I always thought he looked a bit out of place running a café like this. He looks more like he'd be at home as one of the Gauls from and Asterix and Obelix comic.

Yet here he is running a café like this, not only does he run it but he is very good at it. It's become quite a popular little place since it opened up about a year ago. I come here frequently to get on with my work.

In barely any time at all I find him stood behind me, setting my coffee down on the table.

I smile politely, "Thank you, is it only you wokring today?"

He shakes his head, "Sofia should be coming in shortly. So, what are you working on?"

I shrug, "Nothing overly important. I'm just trying to finish up a few edits for the book before I send it off to the publishers for review. It's still a bit of a rough draft but it seems they want to make the announcement early and get some previews made. They want to make sure they get the news out of the sequel whilst there is still some hype for the original."

"Oh! How exciting!" He booms, "Does that mean you'll be getting interviewed by the press?"

"No chance!" I exclaim and shake my head, "I'm not even bothered if the damn thing gets published. It was just because a friend opened their mouth to someone the first one got published, I just want to write them."

"You don't fancy even a small bit of the publicity from it?"

"Like I care about something like that!" I snort with laughter, "Why do you think I write under a pseudonym? I don't need to be noticed or popular, other people can do all that."

For a brief moment it seems as though his expression changes to one of disbelief or confusion but in a second he goes back to his smiling self. I suppose I can maybe forgive his confusion, after all it is perhaps strange that someone would go to the effort of working so hard on something like I did and when it's out there not wishing for any publicity but he doesn't know me. He doesn't know the real me anyway.

Maybe once upon a time I'd have welcomed the publicity and opportunity to be noticed. I'd have demanded the publicity and been on hand to sign copies and have my name be known. I'm no longer that person though. Now I just want peace and quiet and for people to leave me alone. I'm not that bratty kid who demanded to be seen and be the centre of attention. I no longer desire for people to praise me constantly and worship the ground I walk on.

I am no longer Asuka Langley Soryu, the brash Evangelion pilot. I'm Asuka Langley Soryu, I live in Berlin and I write teen fiction as a hobby. Somehow, I managed to be quite good at it, a part of me isn't surprised though. It's not as if I don't normally become good at things I turn my hand to.

Of course, to the owner of this café I'm just known as Asuka, a half Japanese, half German 19-year-old who has lived in the city all my life. He knows nothing of who I was, of who I used to be and nowadays no one knows that anymore. I made sure that no one would know if it when I left Japan. I asked for all my records to be replaced with fresh ones, nothing would tie me to what had happened anymore. I asked for all contact to be cut off and to be left alone by the UN or whatever it was NERV would become.

I'm not stupid though, I know that they're still out there watching me. I can sense their presence much in the same way that I could when I was younger. It's not Section 2 anymore but someone else but I know they're there. I was tempted at one point to contact them to tell them to stop and that they didn't need to watch over me but it'd just be more unnecessary hassle that I didn't need. Besides contacting them was a risk, if I contacted them the wrong person might say something and that would lead to people know where I was. So, I'll allow it for now, as long as they keep their distance and no promises get broken.

I'm about to go back to the document when I hear the owners voice again, "Will you be having lunch? Eggs are nice and fresh this morning."

My stomach rumbles at his offer, I skipped breakfast this mornign and it is coming up to lunch time. Maybe I should eat before I start work. I shoot him a smile, "Sound good, eggs it is then, scrambled and with bacon, sausage and toast I think."


Secondly an introduction to Shinji:
SPOILER: Show
Tokyo 2 – Afternoon
I'm sat nervously in the reception area of the building the UN has here in Tokyo-2. Laid carefully at my feet is my cello case and my eyes keep up a pattern of moving from the case to the clock on the wall and then at the receptionist as she does her work. It's been half an hour since I came in here and this pattern was started. All I want is for Misato to be finished with her meeting so that we can go home.

I don't like being outside any longer than is necessary, if I can help It I barely go outside at all. I'm I'm told to then I will but most of the time I always have to be accompanied by someone. Being outside on my own terrifies me. I'm scared that someone might recognize me, know about me and what I've done.

There is a part of me that is trying hard to reject that. It's there using Misato's words, or the words of my friends to tell me that no one is going to recognize me and even if they did I haven't done anything wrong. They tell me that no one knows any of the pilot's identities and the pilots are the ones who saved the world, especially me.

Yet those voices are so easily surprised by a louder one. It sounds like myself and it tells me that everyone I pass in the street secretly knows who I am and one day one of them is going to hurt me. It tells me that if they did hurt me that I deserve it. It tells me that when it does happen I'll have no one to blame but myself because I was really the one who nearly caused this world to end, I was the one responsible for the Third Impact and for ruining so many people's lives.

I shake my head slightly, no. I mustn't think that. It wasn't like that, I wasn't to blame. I know it. I know I wasn't to blame.

"Mr Ikari?"

I nearly jump out of my seat at the sudden sound of the receptionist's voice. I look up to see her looking at me with an amused look on her face. I start to blush thinking about what an idiot I must have looked like.

"Can I get you something whilst you wait?"

I shake my head, "N-No... No, thank you."

With those words the silence fills the room once more and I go back to my routine of looking from the clock to my cello case. I decide to leave the receptionist out of this now, still feeling like an idiot for jumping like that. In a way I'm thankful for that moment, it stopped the negative thoughts for a moment and now I can work on that.

I need to remember what I've been told. Just slow my breathing and go through it all calmly. I knew something like this might happen today but I just need to remember what I tell myself when I go to school or out to get groceries. This is just slightly different to those times, I'm out longer and in a different part of the city.

I glance back down at my cello case as I keep making an effort to calm myself down. It's been a long time since I've played the thing. The last time was that night so many years ago, a night that is still fresh in my memory for all the wrong reasons. It feels like that night was the beginning or end of something, nothing that followed it was good and it was all my fault. If only I had acted differently then maybe... No... I can't... not again.

I feel my hands clench into a fist, my nails dig into the flesh in frustration as I once again try to get rid of those negative thoughts. It's just so difficult to do that today, I thought it would be but I just didn't know how hard. Why am I remembering that night, it happened years ago and I did nothing wrong. She did nothing wrong we were all... different then. You're not that Shinji anymore and Asuka... well she's gone now so that doesn't matter.

I look up just in time to see the door under the clock open suddenly. I see two people enter the lobby in suits and for just a brief moment I see one of them look over at me with what seems to be a confused look on his face.

He recognizes me, doesn't he? That's why he's looking at me like that! Any moment now he's going to come over here and I'll be...

My fingers dig more into my hands and the pain briefly snaps me out of it. Of course, he doesn't recognize me. He's probably confused as to what a 19-year-old kid is doing in a UN building with a cello at his feet.

I know this, I know all of this. It makes sense and it's so logical but even with that I can't help but be terrified of them as they pass by me. I can't help but be sure I feel their eyes on me, piercing through me as if they know exactly who and what I am. I can feel time slow down as they go past me and I focus solely on the cello case. I feel sick and my leg starts to tremble slightly.

I hate this, I hate this so much. They're just ordinary people walking past. They aren't going to hurt me or recognize me. Yet it isn't until they finally pass through the entrance to the building and out onto the street that I can let go of the breath I've been holding, unclench my fist and start to try to calm down.

This is too much, I should have just gone straight home rather than come here. I thought I was being brave but I'm just hurting myself by doing this. Thankfully I don't have to wait too much longer before the door opens and Misato walks through.

"Shinji!"

She doesn't hide her surprise at seeing me sat there waiting for her. I know she'd have expected me to go straight home after the lesson, she of all people knows how hard on me it is to be out like this. I half smile at her and nod, "H-Hey Misato."

She rushes over to me looking apologetic, "I'm so sorry I'm late! The meeting ran longer than I expected, have you been here long?"

I stand up, "N-No... not too long anyway. Is everything alright?"

She smiles at me and nods her head, "Everything is fine! I'll tell you about it in the car, I imagine you'll want to just get home now. We'll order food tonight, is that okay?"

I give her a nod and we make our way out of the building towards the car park. A few moments later I'm loading my cello into the boot of her car, a white Mazda Cosmo which she got shortly after we returned from the Third Impact. It was something she got to replace her Alpine and if I'm being honest I much prefer this car.

As I get into the front passenger seat and put my seatbelt on I already begin to feel a lot calmer. Even more so now that Misato is here.

Misato gets into the driver's seat and gives me a sympathetic look. My nervous state clearly not going unnoticed by her, she places a calming hand on my leg and speaks, "I'm really proud of you Shinji, I know today won't have been easy for you."

I hate it when Misato says she's proud of me. I always feel that little sting of tears behind my eyes when she does so. They're just words I was so unused to hearing and that I never thought I'd hear from anyone and I know she means it. I don't know if I can really express how much hearing that means to me from her, even if it is for something as simple as leaving our apartment.

"It... was really hard Misato." I admit to her with a weak smile, "I kept on thinking that at any one moment he was going to realize who I was. I... I don't know if I can do this."

The car starts to move onto the street, she keeps her eyes focused on the road as she talks to me, "Well you've done it once Shinji and that is something. It's really up to you whether or not you want to do it again."

"Do you think I should?" I ask.

"That's not my decision Shinji, that's yours to make. Do you want to continue?" Her tone shifts to sound a bit more serious, I already know what she is going to say next, "I don't want you to be doing this for me or for anyone else. I don't want you to do it because I said it might be good for you. You have to do this for yourself, you know I'll be proud of you no matter what, you're like a... no you are my son Shinji and I love you and want you to be happy."

There is that phrase again and also the reminder that I am her son now. It's hard to blind away the emotion this time but I manage it. I take a moment to think about what she has said though. This is another thing I need to learn on top of not being afraid of everyone I encounter. I need to do things for myself.

"I think I'll continue." I finally say after about a minute of thought, "I did.... I really enjoyed the lesson despite being afraid."

"So, it went alright?"

I nod, "The teacher said I was a lot more advanced than he was expecting. He said that I didn't seem to have lost much of my ability over the years I haven't been playing. He could see where I was rusty and said it'll be a matter or practicing and going back over some of the things I've forgotten."

I look around to see an eager look in Misato’s eye, “Do you need anything? Books? New string? A new bow? Cleaning products? A stand?”

I laugh at her enthusiasm, “No I don’t need anything yet, I made sure it was all in good condition before I went to the lesson. My teacher let me know a website where I can buy sheet music too.”
“Well that’s good then!”

“Yeah it is! I just…” I trail off as I remember what happened towards the end of the lesson.

Misato of course notices what, “What?”

I try to shrug it off, “No… It’s nothing…”

“Oh no you don’t!” I cringe in my seat and look towards the window, “What is it Shinji?”

I let out a sigh, “Well it’s just… my teacher said that he would like to eventually get me on to playing with other people… Maybe even put on a performance one day.”

I turn to see her nod, “I see… and what did you say to him?”

“I kinda…” I shrink further down in my seat, “I said yes.”

“Even though you knew it might have been a problem for you?”

“I just…” I start but trail off and let out a sigh, “He seemed happy when he suggested it so I… I didn’t mention it might have been a problem for me.”

I shake my head as I return to looking out of the window. I know what she is thinking and it’s the same thing I’m thinking. For all the progress I might have made over the years I’m still that same old Shinji. I’m still just saying and going along with things just because it’ll make others happy with me.

“Is that something you would like to do?”

I hear her ask but I continue looking out of the window pretending I didn’t hear her. For doing that she prods me in the leg and asks again, “Shinji! Is that something you would like to do?”

All I can do this time is muster up a simple shrug, “I don’t know… I mean I do like playing and I want to continue but the idea of playing with others I just… I don’t think I’m ready for it yet. I don’t know… If I’ll ever be ready but I also… I don’t want him to be mad with me or disappointed.”

“Well you have to explain that to him Shinji. I’m sure he isn’t going to be mad or disappointed. I’m sure he’ll understand, it’s not an easy thing for anyone to do.” She replied, “I’m sure he’s just enthusiastic about his new student. Just… do what is right for you Shinji.”

I nod and look back out of the window, “I… I’ll try.”

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Re: Braver Than We Are

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Postby silvermoonlight » Sat Nov 18, 2017 1:25 pm

Really awesome chapters ^_^

Nice to see these two getting along post impact.  SPOILER: Show
Image

Image
Oh and seeing him freak out was kind of funny :D
Anywhere can be paradise as long as you have the will to live. After all, you are alive, so you will always have the chance to be happy.

My Eva fanfiction ff.net Fading In To The Stolen Light For download version please go to AO3

jcmoorehead
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Re: Braver Than We Are

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Postby jcmoorehead » Fri Nov 24, 2017 9:08 am

Just bumping this as chapter 3 has just been uploaded :)


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