Neon Genesis Evangelemon

Everything Evangelion Fanfiction related.

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Postby El Squibbonator » Fri May 02, 2014 7:50 pm

I've created one more character biography: Gendo Ikari's.
[url]http://elsqiubbonator.deviantart.com/art/Neon-Genesis-Evangelemon-Gendo-Ikari-353184922[/url]
Life can seem a challenge. Life can seem impossible. It's never easy when so much is on the line.


Do you like Eva? Do you like Pokemon? Then check out Neon Genesis Evangelemon-- You Can (Not) Catch 'Em All thread/16052/Neon-Genesis-Evangelemon/

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Postby El Squibbonator » Sat May 10, 2014 10:57 am

Sorry about the lack of updates. I'm putting this fic on hold until I can write it again when I finish with exams.
Life can seem a challenge. Life can seem impossible. It's never easy when so much is on the line.


Do you like Eva? Do you like Pokemon? Then check out Neon Genesis Evangelemon-- You Can (Not) Catch 'Em All thread/16052/Neon-Genesis-Evangelemon/

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Postby El Squibbonator » Mon Jun 30, 2014 10:56 am

Well! After a LONG hiatus, I'm finally back. Didn't want you to think this topic was dead or anything. I'll be going away tomorrow to somewhere that doesn't have wifi, though, so I won't be able to work on it again for about 3 weeks.

Neon Genesis Evangelémon You Can (Not) Catch ‘Em All
Episode 5: A Glasses Case

“Is Mewtwo. . .I mean, Unit Zero. . . ready for its trial run?” The question came from a bespectacled, long-haired man who overlooked a panel full of dials and switches. His name was Makoto Hyuga, and he was one of the base technicians at NERV.
“It will be, soon,” Gendo Ikari replied. “Right now, your job is to help Ritsuko prepare the training arena. We will be introducing Rei shortly.”
Even in its frozen, restrained state, Mewtwo was a sight to behold. The cloned Pokémon, genetically re-created from the cells of Mew itself and mutated to enormous size and power, had been the first great creation of NERV. Its psychic powers could obliterate the even the strongest Pokémon, and it in turn was practically invulnerable to any attack its opponents could throw at it. Like Genesect, it wore a suit of mechanical armor with a slot for an entry plug. Unlike Genesect, however, it did not have any bionic weapon emplacements, relying purely on its own attacks.
As Rei’s entry plug was lowered into the slot on Mewtwo’s back, Dr. Akagi turned to speak to Gendo.
“There is. . . something I have wanted to ask you about all this,” she said.
“What?” asked Gendo, not entirely sure that he wanted to know.
“Are you sure this whole ‘make-wimpy-son-fight-Legendary-Pokémon-and-stop-Third-Impact’ thing isn’t just some sort of midlife crisis? You know, that you’re trying to compensate for something?”
Gendo glared at Dr. Akagii, as if furious at her for suggesting something so ridiculous. “Look,” he said, “It seemed like a good idea at the time.”
As the two of them watched, Mewtwo stepped out of its restraints and assumed its full, majestic height. For a second, it stood motionless, staring somewhat stupidly around the giant empty room in which it was being kept. This detracted somewhat from the whole “majestic” thing, but then again beggars couldn’t be choosers. You either had a mutant clone super-Pokémon or you didn’t, no questions asked.
Unfortunately, someone was asking questions. Once again, it was Hyuga. “Um, commander? Is Mewtwo supposed to be doing that?” he asked over the intercom.
Before Gendo could answer, Mewtwo had fired a Hyper Beam directly at the ceiling, causing the floor to rattle beneath Gendo and Dr. Akagis feet. Without even taking time to recharge, it fired off another one at the opposite wall, leaving a smoking crater in the concrete.
Evidently not satisfied with physically laying waste to the testing facility where it was being held, Mewtwo next prepared to launch a psychic attack on its surroundings.
The two NERV officials, knowing at once what had happened and what they would have to do, pointed at each other and said simultaneously, “Your turn.”
Shinji, meanwhile, was feeling nervous and depressed. Not that this was at all unusual; indeed it had become much more the norm ever since he had come to live at NERV. Today was unusual, however, in that Shinji was not feeling this way because he was thinking about himself. He was thinking about Rei. This, too, was not unusual, especially considering that Rei was the only other person his own age living at the NERV headquarters. But what made this different was the way he was thinking about her. He was wondering, for the first time, how exactly she lived apparently being pushed around constantly by his father. What was her motivation to go through life like this? He supposed, perhaps, that her motivation was the same as his own—that is, that she simply wanted to be recognized for accomplishing something in her life—but something told him this was not the case.
The fact that Rei seemed to show no emotion at all—unless you considered a dull lack of surprise to be an emotion—signified to Shinji that there was something about her that he had not been told about. He chided himself for entertaining that notion, though. He figured that if there were any more secrets regarding Genesect and its creators, he would probably have found them out by now, what with the fact he was its Trainer.
The testing arena shook as Mewtwo rattled the walls with its psychic powers. The Psychic Pokémon fired another Hyper Beam, this time directly at the window behind which Gendo and Dr. Akagi sat. Both of them ducked under a desk as the shattered glass fell around them, the cautiously peered up to assess the damage.
All sides of the arena were crumbled and blasted, and the floor was strewn with debris from the walls and ceiling. Aoba was crouched in a corner, shouting to Gendo and Akagi over his walkie-talkie in a panicked voice.
“We’ve lost sync with Rei!” he said, “Get down here!”
Gendo hurried down the stairs and ran onto the arena, brandishing a Poké Ball. “Hydreigon!” he shouted, “I need your assistance!”
The Pokémon that emerged from the Poké Ball was in many ways just as imposing a beast as Mewtwo itself. A terrifying, three-headed dragon with six wings, Hydreigon was Gendo’s personal signature Pokémon—other than Mewtwo and Genesect , of course. Only the central one of its three heads had eyes, and these were glaring at Mewtwo intently, glowing red with rage and determination.
“Hydriegon, Hyper Beam!” Gendo shouted.
On cue, a blast of white light issued forth from each of Hydreigon’s mouths, aiming straight at Mewtwo. They never reached their target, instead bouncing harmlessly off a psychic barrier the legendary Pokémon had created.
Gendo was unfazed. “Dark Pulse!”, he demanded. Once again, Hydreigon obeyed him without question.
Before Mewtwo had time to react again, a ball of black shadowy energy struck it in the chest. Mewtwo doubled over, and began clutching its head in agony. Inside its entry plug, Rei was clearly doing the same thing, because while her communications were coming back online they were panicked and consisted almost entirely of unintelligible screaming.
Mewtwo stood still for a few moments, then collapsed onto its hands and knees. As it did, its entry plug slid out of the receptacle mounted on its back, and its eyes shut.
Gendo walked nervously closer to Mewtwo. This was not the first time it had done something like this. OK, it was the first time this particular Mewtwo had done something like this, but it seemed as if destroying secret laboratories was practically part of the job description for these Pokémon.
Gendo pried open the busted entry plug, and was relieved to see that Rei was still alive inside. As he leaned down to help her to her feet, his glasses fell off his face and onto the floor. Yet he could still see that her injuries had not been severe. That pleased him; it would go down in the day’s records as a minor incident.
That had been several weeks ago. Now, Rei was recovering in the NERV medical ward, and Shinji was watching Misato and Dr. Akagi oversee the dissection of the giant Kabutops.
“This wasn’t an ordinary Pokémon,” Dr. Akagi said, as if that was somehow not obvious. “I’m looking at samples of its tissue, and they don’t match any Pokémon we know of—today or in the past. Whatever it is, it only looks like a Kabutops.”
“Well, what is it?” asked Misato, clearly both impatient and somewhat inebriated.
“I . . .DON’T. . .KNOW!” Shinji had never heard Dr. Akagi raise her voice, but when she did it caused him and Cubone both to take a step back. “All we know is that its inherent wave pattern is nearly identical to that of humans.” Of course, no one except her actually knew what an inherent wave pattern was, or why it was being brought up when in all probability it would not be mentioned again in this story.
Shinji certainly did not know, and merely feigned disbelief as he watched his father enter the room. When he did, he noticed that he had burn marks on his hands and inquired about how he had gotten them
“It was the entry plug,” Dr. Akagi said, before Gendo could answer. “Superheated. Burned when I touched it.”
The next day at school, Shinji began to pay closer attention to Rei. Of course, with Rei there was very little to pay attention to, seeing as she spent the majority of her time staring nonchalantly into space with a glazed look in her eyes. Occasionally she would drum her fingers on her desk or blink visibly, but even that was not common.
Just as Shinji was watching Rei, two other people were watching Shinji. Toji and Kensuke were snickering behind his back, clearly amused at why he was so interested in the objectively least interesting person in his class, and possibly all of Pallet Town 3. That said, had any of them known more about Rei than they did, they would have had much reason to find her interesting.
That afternoon was fairly normal as well. Shinji finished his homework at Misato’s house, gave all of his Pokémon except Genesect some strength training, and headed down to the NERV HQ. Everything was as he had left it. Dr. Akagi’s Espeon was asleep on the windowsill, the computer technicians were hunched over their monitors, and Rei was happily chatting with his father.
Hold on a second—Rei was happily chatting with his father? The way Shinji saw it there were only two explanations for this. Either Rei’s whole “cold and distant” personality had been a façade, or he was in a terrible fanfic whose author couldn’t be assed to get his characters’ personalities right. Swiftly disregarding the latter option, Shinji turned to speak to them, but they had already gotten up and left.
Dinner that night, unfortunately, was served at Misato’s house. And “unfortunately” in this case meant “consisting entirely of Misato’s trademark Shuckle juice and other questionable foodstuffs.”
Gendo, Shinji, and Dr. Akagi all refused to touch the culinary abomination, but Misato, Pen-pen, and Kangaskhan all seemed to enjoy it. Taking advantage of this distraction, Gendo pulled Shinji over to a corner and spoke to him.
“Shinji, I have a job for you. It’s a simple one. All I need you to do is go down to Rei’s apartment and give her this new NERV I.D. card. Do you think you can handle that?”
Shinji blushed, but nodded, then walked over to Rei’s apartment.
Shinji had been mildly shocked at the messy state of Misato’s house, but that had been nothing compared to the tiny, dingy apartment where Rei lived. “Lived” was actually a charitable use of the word, since Rei seemingly spent more time in NERV HQ than in here, which at least explained why everything in it seemed dusty and broken. The floor was littered with bandages and trash, and it stank. He wondered why Rei even tolerated this place.
He was soon distracted, however, when he noticed a pair of glasses sitting on the dresser. A pair of cracked, partially melted glasses. His father’s glasses. He delicately picked them up and tried them on, even doing the same hand-steepling pose that he had seen his father do on so many occasions.
Before he could put them back down, he heard someone walking behind him, and turned around to see who it was.
It was Rei. She was wearing nothing but a towel, and staring directly at Shinji. More specifically, she was staring at the glasses on his face. She reached out to snatch them away from them, and as she did this Shinji stumbled back, tripping over a pile of dirty clothes on the floor and crashing directly into Rei.
The two of them stared at each other for several seconds; it took approximately that length of time for Shinji to realize that he had inadvertently placed his hand on a part of Rei’s anatomy that a 14-year-old boy had no business seeing, much less touching. Rei, however, seemed to not be bothered by this, and simply said to Shinji in her normal monotone voice, “Please move.”
Shinji was shocked. He knew Rei was the antisocial type, but he’d never imagined her as literally having no social skills whatsoever. It was just one of those things that he sort of took for granted. In fact, she seemed a lot more bothered by the fact he had been wearing Gendo’s glasses than that he had touched her naked body.
“I. . .I can explain!” said Shinji. “It was an accident. I’m her to give you. . .” He held out the I.D. card, but Rei was already ignoring him. She had moved to the other side of the room and begun to get dressed.
Shinji, card still in hand, walked out the still-open door, Rei now following him. He couldn’t believe himself. He couldn’t even accomplish the simple task of delivering an I.D. card to Rei. If his father found out about this—and that was most likely a when, not an if—he was going to be furious.
Neither of them said anything until they arrived back at NERV HQ. When they were on the escalator, Shinji decided to ask Rei something that, realistically, he could have asked her at any time but had chosen the moment arbitrarily to ask.
“So, you have another calibration test with Mewtwo today. Aren’t you afraid, after what happened last time?”
“No,” said Rei. “Are you implying that you don’t trust your own father?” Then she did something that surprised him even more (though how he was still capable of being surprised after encountering multiple Legendary Pokémon was a mystery itself). She slapped him.
“Ouch, that hurt!” said Shinji, demonstrating a keen sense of the obvious. “What did you do that for?”
“You insulted Gendo Ikari.”
At the training arena, which rather miraculously had been repaired since its last use, Rei climbed inside the entry plug and prepared to be inserted into the capsule on Mewtwo’s back. As she did, Shinji noticed that she carried with her Gendo’s old, broken glasses.
The metal clamps holding Mewtwo in place retracted, and the giant Pokémon slowly stepped forward. It looked to the left, then to the right, then to the left again, and stood still again.
Now fully reactivated, Mewtwo turned to face the designated target on the opposite side of the arena. However, as it prepared to open fire with a Hyper Beam in what was intended to be the first of several battle tests, an alarm began to sound.
“Wh-what’s that?” asked Shinji. “Is something wrong with Mewtwo?”
“No,” said Dr. Akagi. “There’s been another Legendary Pokémon incursion. Pull up the viewing screen, Maya.”
The image of Mewtwo in the training arena was replaced by a panoramic view of Pallet Town 3, which had somehow been rebuilt after two consecutive Legendary Pokémon attacks. It was now in the midst of a third. The Pokémon in question resembled nothing so much as a floating mass of prisms and ice crystals. Instead of a face, it had a series of dots on one side of its body, and these would occasionally shoot out blasts of light at anything in its way.
Gendo turned to face the other people in the room with a serious look on his face. “Abort Rei’s training session,” he said. “Regice is approaching NERV HQ and we need all resources devoted to Genesect in order to stop it.”


Who’s That Pokemon?
It can swim as fast as a speedboat, and the edges of its wings are sharp enough to cut through icebergs.

Last answer:
It’s Regice!
Last edited by El Squibbonator on Sat Aug 30, 2014 11:23 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Life can seem a challenge. Life can seem impossible. It's never easy when so much is on the line.


Do you like Eva? Do you like Pokemon? Then check out Neon Genesis Evangelemon-- You Can (Not) Catch 'Em All thread/16052/Neon-Genesis-Evangelemon/

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Postby Literary Eagle » Tue Jul 01, 2014 10:58 pm

Once again, the little humorous comments were my favorite part. This story knows that it's working with a bizarre premise, and isn't afraid to admit it. Fun!

I was confused about a few things, though. Why was Shigeru Aoba described as "bespectacled"? Did he and Makoto Hyuga get combined into one character, or was giving Aoba glasses supposed to be a Pokemon reference of some sort? (Sorry, my knowledge of Pokemon is extremely limited.) Also, the story seemed to say that Ritsuko made a "midlife crisis" comment, but then Gendo glared at Fuyutsuki for saying it... so who made that comment, Ritsuko or Fuyutsuki?

Anyway, keep writing, and have a good time with it! I look forward to finding out what jokes you'll come up with next. ^_^
Last edited by Literary Eagle on Thu Jul 03, 2014 9:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.
The Happy Red Planet (my Evangelion fan fic)

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Postby El Squibbonator » Thu Jul 03, 2014 2:53 am

You are correct, those were mistakes. I will correct them as soon as I can. Unfortunately I'm on vacation somewhere with poor wifi, so it'll be a while.
Life can seem a challenge. Life can seem impossible. It's never easy when so much is on the line.


Do you like Eva? Do you like Pokemon? Then check out Neon Genesis Evangelemon-- You Can (Not) Catch 'Em All thread/16052/Neon-Genesis-Evangelemon/

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Postby Literary Eagle » Thu Jul 03, 2014 9:24 pm

No problem, take your time. Enjoy your vacation! :D
The Happy Red Planet (my Evangelion fan fic)

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Postby El Squibbonator » Sat Jul 05, 2014 9:24 am

I finally got somewhere where I could make my edits. However I won't be able to start writing the next chapter until I get home. Enjoy!
Life can seem a challenge. Life can seem impossible. It's never easy when so much is on the line.


Do you like Eva? Do you like Pokemon? Then check out Neon Genesis Evangelemon-- You Can (Not) Catch 'Em All thread/16052/Neon-Genesis-Evangelemon/

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Postby El Squibbonator » Tue Jul 29, 2014 11:29 pm

I'm dreadfully sorry that I haven't been able to get the next chapter up as quickly as I thought. I leave on another vacation tomorrow, so that will give me another week with no means of writing.
Life can seem a challenge. Life can seem impossible. It's never easy when so much is on the line.


Do you like Eva? Do you like Pokemon? Then check out Neon Genesis Evangelemon-- You Can (Not) Catch 'Em All thread/16052/Neon-Genesis-Evangelemon/

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Postby El Squibbonator » Thu Aug 28, 2014 7:26 pm

At long last, I have returned! Witness my sixth installment in the epic tale of Shinji Ikari, Pokémon Trainer!

Neon Genesis Evangelémon
Episode 6: Regice, Ice, Baby

The angular, crystalline form of Regice loomed above Pallet Town 3 as Shinji crawled into Genesect’s entry plug and braced himself to be deployed. As Genesect emerged above the Geofront, Shinji instinctively focused the cannon on its back on Regice, hoping to end this battle quickly and efficiently with a Techno Blast attack.
He didn’t have time. A point-blank Hyper Beam from Regice sent Genesect sprawling back, knocking Shinji out almost immediately and ending this episode before the narrator could get around to the interesting parts.
Ok, what actually happened was that Shinji awoke inside the NERV medical ward (being attended to, of course, by Dr. Akagi’s Chansey). Conveniently, during the time he was recovering there, Regice had made no appreciable progress toward the Geofront, although its Hyper Beam attacks were rapidly laying waste to areas of Pallet Town 3 that had already been laid waste to multiple times before.
Despite having produced no result in any of their previous attempts at fighting Legendary Pokémon, the KSSDF was attempting to battle Regice. In any case the Pokémon—mostly Magneton and Golbat-- they were using were never going to have much effect on it anyway, and surely only served to highlight their ineptitude compared to NERV.
Inside NERV headquarters, Misato, Dr. Akagi, Espeon, and Pen-Pen were watching Regice’s progress toward the Geofront with interest. Every time something tried to attack the Legendary Pokémon, it would be destroyed at exactly the same distance. The exact same distance, as a matter of fact, that Genesect had been at when it had been knocked out. This gave Misato an idea.
“Ritsuko,” she said, “I was . . . hoping it wouldn’t have to come to this.”
“Come to what?” asked Dr. Akagi, wary now that Misato had used her first name.
Misato thought for a moment. “Umm. . . come to my house for dinner! There’s gonna be Shuckle juice!”
Dr. Akagi rolled her eyes. “Tell me what you were really thinking of.”
“OK. So you’ve noticed how Regice only seems to be able to shoot its attacks a certain distance? Well, if we can get Genesect to take it out from far away, then we should be good.”
“You don’t mean. . . the Nuzlocke Protocol?” asked Dr. Akagi incredulously. Misato simply nodded.
Shinji had not been paying very good attention to their conversation, so he was quite surprised when he found Rei staring at him, looking just as blank and stoic as she always did.
“Shinji,” she said, “You are needed again. The plan is for you and Genesect to penetrate Regice’s AP field with an upgraded Techno Blast attack, while I use Mewtwo’s AP field to create a shield for you. You must come immediately. You will not die. I will protect you. Also, that would be stupid because we still have 20 episodes left.”
Shinji blinked, as if to make sure that he wasn’t hallucinating the vision of Rei giving him instructions, then tossed aside his bedsheets and followed her into the Evangelémon bunker, where Misato, Dr. Akagi, and his father were waiting.
Shinji didn’t need a thermometer to notice that it had become extremely cold inside the bunker; something made much more unusual by the fact that the weather was supposed to be still in its perpetually summer-like state. Pen-pen, of course, did not seem to mind at all.
All of a sudden, an alarm went off, and everyone in the room stared around in confusion. “Regice has pierced the first outer wall of the GeoFront,” Maya Ibuki said over the intercom. This at least explained why it was so cold, but also raised other questions, most importantly the question of how Regice had “pierced” the Geofront in the first place.
As Shinji climbed into Genesect’s entry plug, and Rei likewise climbed into Mewtwo’s, he overheard Misato and Dr. Akagi talking again. This time, they were talking about the “Nuzlocke protocol” that Misato had mentioned earlier.
“. . .all of Kanto. We’re going to need all the electricity from all of Kanto, just to power that Techno blast?” asked Misato.
“What did you think we were going to use to power it?” Dr. Akagi replied. “A bunch of Pikachu on treadmills?”
“I don’t see why not?”
“Even if you were to get that power, you’d only have enough energy for a single shot. If that misses, and Regice gets through, we’ll be doomed and you’ll be the one to blame for it.”
As both Genesect and Mewtwo emerged from beneath the Geofront, those civilians in Pallet Town 3 who had not already been evacuated underground stared in awe at the sight of the two Legendary Pokémon. Regice had not moved at all from its spot above the Geofront, and was boring its way in at what Shinji was have considered a glacial pace had he been in the mood for puns at the moment. But he and Rei weren’t going to engage Regice where it stood. They were headed for Mt. Moon, which would give Genesect the clearest shot at Regice.
It was during this time that Shinji finally spoke to Rei again, over the radio in his entry plug.
“You know, “ he said, “there’s just one question I’ve always wanted to ask you. Why are you an Evangelémon Trainer? I’m one basically because my father would disown me if I wasn’t; what’s your reason?”
Shinji slapped his forehead after saying this. He had forgotten that Rei held his father in quite high esteem and making light about him was not something to be done around her. He braced himself for the inevitable scathing reply (well, as scathing as Rei’s monotonous voice could be at any rate), but it never came.
Instead, Rei simply answered, “ I do this. . .because I have nothing else to do in my life. It is my function.”
“That’s all?” asked Shinji “You’ve bonded with Mewtwo because it’s your function? “
Rei, however, was no longer listening. She and Mewtwo were already moving toward the top of Mt. Moon, where the new attachment for Genesect’s cannon had been put in place.
They arrived on Mt. Moon at midnight—whether this was a happy coincidence or whether they had been deliberately planned to meet at such a classically dramatic time, neither of them knew. Whatever the case was, it gave them only a few minutes to attach the new positron cannon to Genesect and get it to full power for its shot at Regice.
The positron cannon had been designed to slip over the front of the turret on top of Genesect’s head, but with its claw-like arms Genesect could not do this to itself. Unfortunately, Shinji did not figure this out on his first attempt. Instead, he decided to see if Genesect could pick the positron cannon up itself. This did the exact opposite of “work,” and instead Genesect simply droppoed to positron cannon onto its foot. Unfortunately, Shinji—being mentally melded with Genesect inside the entry plug—felt everything it felt, and he too felt as though an extremely heavy object had been dropped onto his foot.
Had anyone else been watching him, they would likely have laughed, but then again Rei was too emotionally restrained to do that. She simply looked on (or rather, Mewtwo looked on, with Rei in its entry plug), before finally reaching down to pick up the positron cannon and fasten it to Genesect’s turret. Neither of them spoke about this exceedingly awkward incident for a long time afterwards.
As the cannon clicked into place, Genesect crouched down and lined up Regice in its sights. Shinji felt the temptation to fire immediately, but he knew that if he did it would do nothing—the cannon was not finished charging, and Regice was not in its vulnerable state yet. So for now he simply sat, watched, and waited.
Meanwhile, just outside the Geofront, Regice had broken through the last layer of armor covering NERV HQ and was now boring its way in towards its target. The temperature inside the Geofront had dropped from simply slightly chilly to downright freezing, and even Pen-pen was feeling cold. “Wark, wark, wark, (I could use pants)”, he muttered to himself, then walked out of the control room toward the kitchen. Misato, Maya, and Dr. Akagi, though, all agreed on one thing. They all wanted hot chocolate.
Unfortunately, the Geofront’s entire supply of cocoa powder had also
mysteriously vanished during this time, leaving the three of them to return to their actual work and ignoring this seemingly-unimportant-but-rather-suspicious plot detail altogether. “Major Katsuragi, you didn’t do anything with all the cocoa powder?” demanded Dr. Akagi.
“Me?” she said, rather shocked at the accusation. “No. What about you, Ritsuko?”
Dr. Akagi was equally shocked at this, and glared at Misato. “Well, it wasn’t either of us. What about you, Lt.. Ibuki?” Maya said nothing, and simply shook her head. The three of them stared at each other for a few seconds, then returned to their stations, each still quite firm in their belief that one of the other two had hidden all the cocoa powder. Quite why they would do this, and what they would hope to gain out of it, was not something any of them ever pondered.
As the positron cannon finished powering up, Regice pivoted around and stared at Genesect. One by one, the lights on its “face”—arranged similarly to the ones on Regigigas’s face—began to light up, and a point-blank Hyper Beam shot straight toward Genesect’s head before Shinji could react.
He didn’t need to, though. Before the attack met its target, it collided with an invisible barrier in front of Genesect. Shinji turned around (with difficulty, of course, given that he was currently inside an entry plug) and soon discovered the source of the barrier. Obviously this was the AP shield that Misato had mentioned Rei making for him before they left.
All right, Shinji thought to himself. Regice doesn’t seem to be doing anything right now. This is my chance to--. His dramatic internal monologue was somewhat rudely interrupted by a voice in his intercom, a voice he recognized as Misato’s. “JUST DO IT!” she shouted!
“Uhh, OK.” Shinji replied. “Here goes nothing. . .” He squeezed his hand on the trigger inside the entry plug, and Genesect crouched down into its firing position again.
Regice fired another Hyper Beam, which collided with Genesect’s Techno Blast head-on. The two colliding attacks produced quite a spectacular explosion (as is wont to happen in Pokémon battles), and caused considerable damage to what little of Pallet Town 3 had not been considerably damaged already, but when the obligatory cloud of smoke cleared away, it was clear that neither Pokémon had been affected in any way.
Shinji was now at a disadvantage—he had only enough power to make one more Techno Blast, whereas Regice seemed to be able to blast Hyper Beams left and right without even having to recharge. If he missed his next shot—though, of course, he wouldn’t or else this story would end very, very early—then Regice would complete its entry into NERV and everything would go terribly pear-shaped.
Gritting his teeth in a rare moment of anger and frustration, Shinji decided to use his second enhanced Techno Blast. He knew if he used this one up, there would be no time to get enough electricity for another one. He also knew that worrying about electricity in a world where there were electricity-generating creatures could be caught in tiny balls was more than a bit dumb, but for the sake of the narrative decided to let it slide.
Before Genesect could fire its second Techno Blast, though, Regice let loose another Hyper Beam. And this time, Mewtwo had no time to erect an AP barrier to protect Genesect. Instead, it simply stepped directly in front of Genesect and took the full brunt of the attack, the explosion sending it tumbling backwards and sprawling at Genesect’s feet. Mewtwo attempted to push itself into a standing position, but Regice’s attack had done too much damage, and it slumped back onto the ground again.
Shinji, now feeling far more aggressive than usual, commanded another Techno Blast from Genesect—and this one went off without a hitch. The blinding bolt of electricity struck Regice in the face (or, the weird pattern of dots, or the Braille writing. . .look, we’ll just call it a face, OK?), and the massive Legendary Pokémon came crashing down onto the empty streets of Pallet Town 3. Like Regigigas and Kabutops, this was accompanied by a glowing symbol of a circle within a circle in the sky—the Sign of Arceus.
Exhausted, Shinji climbed out of the entry plug and made his way over to Rei’s to see if she had survived the battle. It seemed, after all, as if Regice’s attacks had done some major damage to Mewtwo. Peering inside Rei’s entry plug, he was relieved to see that she was unhurt, but puzzled by the fact that she was just as expressionless as she always was.
“Please, Rei,” he said, “never tell me ‘I have nothing else’ ever again. Because you don’t. You don’t have to say goodbye every time you leave on a mission either.” Rei looked shocked, as if the idea of hearing these words was as bizarre as a Slowpoke leaning to skateboard.
Finally, she answered, “Well, what do you want me to do at time like this. I haven’t really ever thought about it.”
Shinji thought for a second, then replied “Why not smile?”
Unfortunately, because Rei had little experience with facial expressions and there was mirror available, it took quite some time before she could form a reasonable approximation of a smile, thereby making what might otherwise have been a heartwarming and dramatic moment between the two significantly more awkward.
That night, as Shinji climbed into bed, he noticed something piled underneath his covers that had not been there the night before. Sitting atop it, looking as smug and shameless as could be, was Pen-pen. After shooing the Pokémon aside, Shinji pulled the covers aside and was shocked at what he saw. It was NERV’s entire supply of cocoa powder.

Who’s That Pokémon?
This Pokémon was cloned from Mew, the ancient ancestor of all other Pokémon.

Last Answer: It’s Empoleon!
Last edited by El Squibbonator on Mon Sep 22, 2014 1:12 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Postby Literary Eagle » Thu Aug 28, 2014 8:10 pm

Heh, was Pen Pen saying "I could use pants" a reference to Pokemon: The Movie 2000? (Wow, I actually got a Pokemon reference... enjoy the moment, because I don't know if it will happen again.) :lol:

Since I don't know much about Pokemon, I had to look up a picture of Regice... wow, now I can see why you chose it to play the role of Ramiel in this story! They look like they could be cousins or something. Now that would be one heck of a family reunion...
The Happy Red Planet (my Evangelion fan fic)

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Postby El Squibbonator » Thu Aug 28, 2014 9:09 pm

Yes! Most of the resemblances won't be quite so obvious, especially since I mostly restricted myself to using only Legendary Pokémon for the Angels and Evas.
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Postby El Squibbonator » Mon Sep 22, 2014 1:11 pm

Chapter 7 should be up soon. Im sorry these aren't coming out as fast as I thought they'd be; my goal is to finish the whole thing by the time FINAL comes out in 2015.
Life can seem a challenge. Life can seem impossible. It's never easy when so much is on the line.


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Postby El Squibbonator » Fri Jan 30, 2015 2:17 pm

It's been a long hiatus. Sorry. Life gets in the way for all of us, even those of us who write fan fiction. I have college, I have vacations, yadda yadda yadda . . .
Anyway, have the latest episode. You might find this one familiar in more ways than one. :wink:

Neon Genesis Evangelémon
Episode 7: Aim for The Horn!

Gendo Ikari dismounted from the back of his Hydreigon and entered the elevator to the secret bunker. This was going to be an important conference; his position in NERV depended on it. Though he would never have admitted it in public, much less in front of his own son, it actually made him feel somewhat nervous.
The elevator stopped in front of a tiny room containing only a desk and a hanging microphone. Gendo walked up to the desk, and folded his hands beneath his chin. The moment he did, a voice spoke to him out of the microphone. “Hello,” it said, “Which shall it be, mocha or cappuccino?”
Gendo slapped his forehead. “Neither,” he said. “I came here for a discussion of the direction the Evangelémon program should take from this point on. For your information, I don’t even drink coffee!”
“Access denied”, said the voice. “Now, which shall it be, mocha or cappuccino?”
Clearly exasperated, Gendo shouted, “Fine! Mocha! Why are you asking me this crap anyway?!”
“Identification confirmed”, said the voice. “Begin interview.”
The voice was then replaced by a new voice, one with a deep Sinnohese accent. “Well met, Mr. Ikari. I assume you are aware of why you were summoned here?”
“To go over the future prospects of the Evangelémon program, or so I was told.”
“That was part of it,” the man on the other side of the intercom went on. “The other half has to do with you specifically. We suspect that you provided counterfeit information to us regarding the nature of said program and what your true intentions for it were.”
“I did nothing of the sort! I have always been giving you the truth!” retorted Gendo. “Now, if you please, may we get on to the more pressing concerns?”
The man behind the intercom sighed. “All right. Do tell me, what is your opinion about that other matter. You know, the one that—“
“I have it all taken care of.” Gendo answered.
Shinji, meanwhile, was having a bad day. Not only was he late for school, but it was that peculiar time of year known to public schools as “parent’s day.” Because, of course, there was no way Shinji was going to be bringing his actual parent to school, he had decided that Misato would be the next best thing, never mind that she was only twice his age and had habits that would be morally questionable in a school setting.
He began to have second thoughts, however, when he remembered that Misato’s poor housekeeping and tendency to smell like Shuckle juice. Naturally, then, Shinji was prepared for the worst when he walked into the classroom with Misato. He especially wondered what Toji and Kensuke—the closest things he had to friends there at this point—would think of him if they saw his legal guardian.
His question was answered as soon as he entered the classroom. Every single boy—and a fair few of the girls as well—immediately turned around and stared at the new woman who had just walked into the room. Shinji was quite sure he saw Kensuke faint from blood loss after an absurdly heavy nosebleed, as male anime characters are wont to do in such a scenario.
One of the students who was also staring at this bizarre event was a girl whom Shinji had never seen in his class before. She had short reddish-brown hair, cut in a fashion resembling Rei’s. Unlike Rei, however, she seemed quite cheerful and happy. Once the awkwardness surrounding Misato’s appearance had subsided, the new girl got up and walked to the front of the class, where she proceded to introduce herself.
“Hello,” she said. “My name is Mana Kirishima. I just moved here from Vermillion City, and I certainly hope I will have an enjoyable time here.”
It all sounded very prompt and not genuine, and indeed when Shinji looked behind Mana he could see that Hikari was there, silently cuing here through her introduction. Other than that, though, Mana didn’t seem that bad—she was certainly more outgoing than Rei, and she was definitely a lot more appropriate to be seen in public with than Misato.
When he got home from school that day, Shinji tried to tell his father and Dr. Akagi about his new classmate. They seemed extremely shocked. Gendo turned to Dr. Akagi with a grave look on his face and whispered to her, “I thought you said you had it taken care of. Now look what you’ve done!”
Naturally confused, Shinji tried to ask, “Wait! What is ‘it’? What did you think you have figured out?”
“It does not concern you,” Gendo replied tersely. Shinji, who by this point realized that getting Gendo to divulge secret information was a hopeless task, went back to his Misato’s apartment to finish his homework.
The following day after school, Shinji decided to talk to Mana, in hopes of finding out what about her was of such interest to Gendo. Before he could even say hello, though, he became distinctly aware of someone—or something—watching him over his shoulder.
Spinning around in his seat to see what it was, he found himself face-to-face with Kensuke and Magnemite. “Say, Shinji,” Kensuke said, “I didn’t know you had a girlfriend.”
This elicited a swift response. “Mana. . .is. . .not. . .my. . .GIRLFRIEND!” Shinji shouted to Kensuke in a rare display of assertiveness. He turned back around to resume speaking to Mana, only to find that she had left the table and was now sitting with Hikari. Shinji dejectedly finished his lunch by himself.
All was not lost, though. He ran into Mana again later that day while walking back to Misato’s apartment. This time she had a Pokémon with her—a Butterfree. It didn’t look like a normal Butterfree, though; its wings were pink instead of white, its eyes and legs were green, and it sparkled. Must be a Shiny Pokémon, Shinji thought, Just like Misato’s Empoleon.
Hoping to make a better impression this time, he began by saying, “Listen, I’m sorry about what happened at lunch today. I didn’t mean to be so harsh. It’s just that I didn’t want people to think that we’re, you know, friends in that sort of way, when we really aren’t. . .”
Mana thought for a moment, then replied, “It’s OK. My job involves me moving a lot, so I get awkward introductions all the time.”
“Wait,” asked Shinji. “Your job?”
“Of course!” she said “You work at NERV, I work at. . .oops! Can’t tell you—it’s classified!”
With that Mana skipped off down the opposite street to the one Shinji lived on. Shinji silently followed behind her, ducking out of sight until they reached a large clearing in the Pallet Town 3 city park. They were not the only ones there—two boys about his age were also present.
Meanwhile, Misato had an assignment of her own from Gendo to do. She had been ordered to sit in on a presentation by the Silph Corporation, who were going to be showing off their latest product later that day. He had not told her what that product was, but his choice of words made it sound as if it was something that had the potential to threaten NERV’s very existence. That, thought Misato, was simply impossible, because there was no way for any outside party to know what was actually going on in NERV. Still, she had brought her two strongest Pokémon to the presentation just in case there was any trouble.
The presentation was held in a huge temporary arena, which had been erected over what was once the site of the original Pallet Town. In the center of the arena stood a tall boxy container, almost like an airplane hangar, and Misato guessed that this contained whatever was going to be shown off.
Next to it, standing in front of a microphone, stood a short little man in an official-looking uniform. Once the hundreds of guests were seated, he began to speak, his voice carrying out over the loudspeakers.
“It has come to the attention of the good people at Silph Co.—proud producer of Poké Balls, Potions, and Repels—that the Legendary Pokémon attacks on Pallet Town 3 are no longer isolated occurrences. With thousands of people losing their lives in these attacks, we have taken it upon ourselves to devise a solution to this threat. People of Pallet Town 3, I present to you . . . Jet Rhydon!”
The container behind the man opened and slid back to reveal a massive metallic object inside. For a moment, Misato thought it was a Pokémon, and it was soon evident why she made this mistake. The object being shown was a gigantic mechanical Rhydon, the Silph Co. logo emblazoned on its body.
The man went on, “The Jet Rhydon is the ultimate weapon against Legendary Pokémon attacks. It is capable of being controlled from afar by remote, or by a pilot in the specially designed cockpit. Its onboard nuclear reactor can power it for missions lasting up to a year. Any questions?”
Misato raised her hand, “Yes. What, exactly, can this do that an Evangelémon can’t? And why should we trust it, since it’s essentially a walking nuclear reactor?”
This earned a round of laughter from the rest of the audience. “Do you hear the woman?! ‘Why should we trust it?’ We should trust it because it’s a controllable, safe machine, not prone to running amok like a crazy woman the way the Pokémon in your Evangelémon program do.”
“You take that back!” snapped Misato.
The presenter didn’t listen. He had already moved on to answer the questions of the other guests.
At the same time, Shinji was crouched behind a bush, watching Mana and the two boys. She turned to speak to them, addressing them both by name.
“Musashi, Keita? Are you ready for our practice?” The two boys nodded, then each pulled out a Poké Ball.
“Come on out, Venomoth!” shouted the boy whose name was apparently Musashi.
“You too, Beedrill!” said Keita.
Mana reached down to her belt, and unclipped two Poké Balls of her own. “Butterfree! Ledian! Your turn to battle!”
The Shiny Butterfree materialized in front of her, and alongside it appeared a Ledian, a Pokémon that looked like a humanoid ladybug.
“Butterfree, Stun Spore! Ledian, Silver Wind!” Mana shouted.
As Shinji watched, Butterfree and Ledian unleashed their attacks, but Venomoth and Beedrill effortlessly flew out of their way. Then Keita commanded, “Beedrill, Poison sting!”
A barrage of needles slammed into Butterfree, nearly knocking it to the ground, but the Butterfly Pokémon quickly got back up.
“All right, Ledian, Silver Wind again!”
Ledian began beating its wings extremely fast, sent a wave of shimmering silvery powder blowing towards Venomoth. As the particles collided with the Poison Moth Pokémon, it thrashed about, seemingly in pain.
“Great job!” said Mana. “Now, Butterfree, use. . .”She never finished her sentence. She turned around to look in the direction of the bush Shinji was hiding behind, and waved her hand once to signal that the battle was being paused.
Shinji sweated nervously. Even though he had literally just met Mana, the fact that he had been assigned to monitor her implied that being discovered by her was a Bad Thing. And Shinji, having already had more than his share of Bad Things in his life, was not keen on adding another one to his list.
Mana, for her part, seemed more surprised than angry. “Shinji? What are you doing here? Now please leave, so I can get back to my training.”
“Training for what?” asked Shinji.
“For tomorrow,” Mana replied, and returned to her battle with her two companions.
After returning to Misato’s apartment, Shinji reflected on what he’d seen. This Mana girl didn’t seem to be anything more than an ordinary Pokémon trainer. The only thing even slightly out of the ordinary was her Shiny Butterfree, and in the big scheme of things that probably didn’t matter much. They’re probably just some Bug Pokémon fan club or something like that, he thought.
The next morning saw Misato and Dr. Akagi packing their bags and leaving for Viridian City. There, they’d been told, they would get to watch the first ever demonstration of the Jet Rhydon and witness its awesome abilities.
“I told Dr. Ikari about everything we saw when we got back from the presentation,” said Dr. Akagi. “He didn’t seem too happy about it, but he seemed like he was expecting it all the same.”
“It doesn’t matter to me,” said Misato. “I’m bringing my two strongest Pokémon just in case any . . . any trouble arises.” As she said this, she clipped two Poké Balls—an ordinary red one, and a cameo-colored KSSDF one—to her belt.
The test run of the Jet Rhydon was being held inside what had once been the old Viridian City Gym. Unlike the previous presentation, which had been attended by hundreds of spectators, this one was much more closely guarded, with the only guests being news reporters and scientists who wanted to find out more about the mechanical Pokémon.
When Misato and Dr. Akagi arrived, they were directed to the front row of seats, though not without an unpleasant glance from the presenter. Once everybody was seated, he cleared his throat, and addressed the group of delegates.
“Ladies and gentlemen, Silph Corporation is proud to present the weapon that will finally make Pallet Town 3 safe—the Jet Rhydon! More powerful, more durable, than any living Pokémon, the Jet Rhydon is a revolution in technology and engineering, and will surely be seen in the future as the savior of the human race! And now, allow me to introduce the pilot of the Jet Rhydon prototype . . . Miss Mana Kirishima!” A teenage girl with short reddish-brown hair and wearing a leotard emblazoned with the Silph logo ran onto the stage. Circling around her, and spreading sparkling dust in its path, was a Butterfree. She turned and cheerfully waved at the audience.
“ Very well,” said the announcer. “Now, before I launch the Jet Rhydon on its first operational trial, do I have any questions?”
While he began answering questions from the panel of newscasters, Misato grabbed Dr. Akagi by the shirt. “What the Hell, Ritsuko!? You never told me that thing had a human pilot, and a child at that! That . . . that changes everything!”
Dr. Akagi coldly narrowed her eyes and glared at Misato. “No,” she said. “We are here to carry out our orders. That changes nothing.”
As Mana climbed up the ladder leading into the cockpit of the Jet Rhydon, Misato and Dr. Akagi watched nervously. The huge mechanical Pokémon began to rumble and roar, and took a step off the stage. “Is it supposed to do that?” Dr. Akagi asked.
“I’m not sure,” replied Misato. “But I’m definitely sure it’s not supposed to be doing that.”
As she said this, the Jet Rhydon had smashed a huge hole in the wall, and continued lumbering right out of the building, with Mana still inside it. “I don’t have time for this,” said Misato. She reached into her pocket and pulled out two Poké Balls. “Gyarados! Nidoqueen! Come on out!”
The two Pokémon materialized in front of Misato, and seemed not to even wait for their trainer’s order before attacking. They both fired Hyper Beams, but the attacks bounced harmlessly off the Jet Rhydon’s metal skin. The only effect this had was to make the Jet Rhydon pause, then turn around and blast both Pokémon with the lasers in its eyes. Gyarados and Nidoqueen had no time to dodge, and were knocked out cold.
“It’s heading straight for Pallet Town 3. What do you want us to do?” Dr. Akagi asked Misato.
“’Us?’ ‘US?’” Misato replied furiously. “Listen—it’s your fault we’re here in the first place. Going here to investigate this job was your idea. I’m going to request that Genesect be sent here to clean this mess up. You go see if you can find out how to deactivate the Jet Rhydon.”
Shinji, for his part, was not expecting a call to action that day, mainly because he had not been informed of any Legendary Pokémon activity. He was certainly not expecting to find himself not only inside Genesect’s entry plug, but suspended beneath a giant airplane bound for the outskirts of Saffron City.
He could see the Jet Rhydon far below, but he certainly hoped that the pilot of the airplane would fly lower before releasing Genesect. No such luck. Genesect fell from the airplane, plummeted for hundreds of feet, and barely managed to avoid collapsing into a heap when it landed by digging its feet into the ground.
When Genesect landed, Misato spoke into Shinji’s intercom. “All right,” she said, “Here’s the plan. You’re going to knock out the Jet Rhydon and get Mana out safely, and then I’m going to go in and deactivate the nuclear reactor before it melts down.”
“How do I knock out the Jet Rhydon?” Shinji asked.
“Just treat this like a normal battle. Use the attacks you normally would.”
Just like a normal battle, thought Shinji. You know the drill, Genesect—Hyper Beam!
The Jet Rhydon did not even budge as the Hyper Beam struck it. For a moment, it seemed to have been immobilized, but then it began to move again. Genesect’s attack had barely even scratched it.
OK, maybe that one doesn’t work. Then let’s try . . . Techno Blast!
The turret on Genesect’s head began to glow, and fired a blazing bolt of electricity directly at the Jet Rhydon. The attack seemed to work—the Jet Rhydon stood still, crackling with the electric charge—but then shook it off as if it were nothing. Then, the Jet Rhydon’s eyes began to glow bright red. It fired another laser blast, just like the one that had knocked out Nidoqueen and Gyarados, and Genesect barely managed to jump aside in time.
Meanwhile, Dr. Akagi was trying to find out how to break into the Jet Rhydon’s nuclear reactor and deactivate it. Unfortunately, the man who had given the presentation was not being especially cooperative.
“You have two choices,” Dr. Akagi said. “You can tell me the password, or you can . . . OK, so really you only have one choice, because if you decide to do anything else, you’re pretty much dead.”
The presenter wasn’t moved. “How many times do I have to tell you? The password is classified. I’d be fired from Silph if I told you!”
“There’s a lot more at stake here than your job,” said Dr. Akagi. “Now, are you going to tell me that password or not?”
“All right!” said the man, “I’ll tell you what it is. It’s hope.”
“Hope?!” said Misato, after hearing the password over her two-way radio. “What kind of password is that for a hundred-foot-tall death machine?”
“A creative one,” said Dr. Akagi.
While Dr. Akagi had successfully accomplished her side of the mission, the same could not be said for Shinji, who was still engaged in battle with the Jet Rhydon. The battle had stagnated into a stalemate—Genesect was agile enough to avoid the Jet Rhydon’s attacks, but its own attacks could not penetrate the mechanical Pokémon’s thick armor. Except, perhaps . . .
Genesect! thought Shinji, having just had a very rare “eureka” moment. Aim for the horn!
Genesect lowered its turret, and fired a Techno Blast at the Jet Rhydon’s horn. Like a lightning rod, the horn sent the electric current coursing through the robotic Pokémon’s interior. Smoke began to issue from its joints, and finally it collapsed to the ground, defeated.
Misato’s voice crackled in Shinji’s ear. “Good. Now open it up so I can get in.”
Bending Genesect over, Shinji pried open the paneling on the Jet Rhydon’s back so that Misato could climb inside. It was hot and full of smoke inside the Jet Rhydon, and aside from the cockpit, it did not look as though it had been designed with human occupation in mind. Even though Misato was wearing a radiation-proof suit, she knew she was probably not as well protected from the leaking reactor as she could have been.
When Misato finally reached the reactor, punched in the password, and turned it off, she was anxious to exit the Jet Rhydon. However, Shinji—of all people--would have none of it. “Stop!” he shouted into her two-way radio, “Mana’s still inside that thing!”
If reaching the reactor had been difficult enough, reaching the cockpit was next to impossible. The cockpit was locked from the outside, and while Shinji had tried to open it with Genesect he had found it to be too strongly reinforced. So, as with the reactor, Misato found herself simply crawling through the Jet Rhydon’s utility ducts until she found the gateway to the cockpit.
“All right, Nidoqueen,” she said, pulling out her now-revived Pokémon’s Poké Ball, “Horn Drill!” The attack broke down the heavy metal door covering the entrance to the cockpit, and inside Misato was able to see Mana slumped in the pilot’s seat. Noticing that she was still breathing, she lifted her up over her shoulder and ordered Nidoqueen to break open the cockpit canopy with another Horn Drill. None of them—not Shinji, not Dr. Akagi, not Misato, not even Mana—ever paused to consider the broader implications of what had just happened as they went back to Pallet Town 3.
The next day, Mana did not show up in Shinji’s class at school. She did not show up the next day either. Shinji attempted to inquire as to where she had gone, but it seemed as if her name had been erased from the school archives. It was as if she’d never even existed.
Gendo, meanwhile, had called a meeting with Dr. Akagi and Misato to discuss the Jet Rhydon incident. “It came to my attention that the Jet Rhydon—the mechanical Pokémon developed by the Silph corporation—went berserk and had to be destroyed,” he said, steepling his hands below his hace as usual. “You were present, I believe.”
“Well,” said Dr. Akagi, “Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”
“Everything went according to plan,” answered Gendo


Who’s that Pokémon?
It is prone to violent mood swings. If it becomes angry, it will attack anything that it sees.

Last answer: It’s Mewtwo!
Life can seem a challenge. Life can seem impossible. It's never easy when so much is on the line.


Do you like Eva? Do you like Pokemon? Then check out Neon Genesis Evangelemon-- You Can (Not) Catch 'Em All thread/16052/Neon-Genesis-Evangelemon/

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Postby El Squibbonator » Thu Apr 23, 2015 3:55 pm

I'm sorry it's been so long. I should have the next chapter up very soon. Do feel free to R&R in the meantime, though.
Life can seem a challenge. Life can seem impossible. It's never easy when so much is on the line.


Do you like Eva? Do you like Pokemon? Then check out Neon Genesis Evangelemon-- You Can (Not) Catch 'Em All thread/16052/Neon-Genesis-Evangelemon/

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Postby El Squibbonator » Sat May 30, 2015 9:46 pm

I guess this is what I mean by "soon." I hope i haven't lost my readers--I hope to get through retelling/poking fun at the whole series. I will say, though, that this episode was one of the toughest to write so far.

Neon Genesis Evangelémon Episode 8:
Water you waiting for?

Shinji, Misato, Toji, and Kensuke were in a helicopter, flying out over the ocean. The plan, as far as Shinji had been told, was that they would be meeting up with a ship carrying the Evangelémon trainer from Hoenn, along with her Legendary Pokémon. The three boys each had different reaction to this news.
“I heard that she graduated from Smogon University when she was only 12 years old,” said Toji. “I bet she knows a lot about the Pokémon in Hoenn.”
“Well, I heard that she’s a Captain in the Hoennian Air Force,” said Kensuke, not to be outdone. “They’re supposed to be really good; I’m sure I could learn something from her.”
And I bet she’s a stuck-up, bossy bitch who thinks she’s perfect at everything, Shinji thought to himself gloomily.
As the helicopter approached the fleet and descended to land, Kensuke practically salivated. He pointed out the window at the largest ship. “That’s the Unovan aircraft carrier USS Castelia! It was launched five years before Second Impact, it can carry a full wing of sixty F-19 Braviary fighters, and—“
“SHUT YOUR BIG YAP!” shouted everybody else on the helicopter. As they disembarked from the helicopter, they found themselves greeted by none other than the Hoennian pilot herself. She was a girl about Shinji’s age, with bright orange hair and wearing a yellow sun dress. By her side stood a Pokémon that Shinji was not sure he had seen before. He pulled out his Pokédex to scan it. “Primeape,” it said “The Pig Monkey Pokémon. If you make eye contact with this Pokémon, it will become outrageously angry and chase you forever.” Well, that certainly helps a lot, thought Shinji, especially seeing as I have no idea what a pig or a monkey is.
Cubone, meanwhile, had extended a paw to Primeape in greeting, only for the Fighting-type Pokémon to smack it away. “Aaaape. . . (Let me tell ya something, brother. No one shakes hands with the Primeapester. . . without getting permission first!)” it grunted.
“Shinji, Toji, Kensuke,” Misato began, “This is Asuka Langley Soryu. She is from Hoenn, and will be joining you as a trainer at NERV back at Pallet TOWN 3.” At that moment, a sudden gust of wind knocked Toji’s hat off his head and sent it tumbling across the deck of the Castelia. As he turned to chase after it, he caught an unwitting glimpse of Asuka’s undergarments, and for this found himself on the receiving end of a punch on the nose from Primeape.
Misato, meanwhile, was on the bridge of the Castelia, expecting a visitor of her own. Looking up at the sky, she saw something that told her his arrival would be very soon. A winged, dinosaur-like Pokémon—a Tropius—was gliding down towards the Castelia, and as it drew closer Misato could see that someone was riding on it. “Ryoji Kaji,” she said to herself, “I should have known you’d be here.”
The Tropius landed and Kaji dismounted from its back. “Well, Misato,” he said, “I must say ‘ve been wondering what you’ve been getting up to these past few years. I’m here because of the new Trainer from Hoenn, in case you don’t mind. Also got an important parcel to pick up for Dr. Ikari. Come on, I’ll tell you more when we have lunch.”
At lunch, Shinji ate in silence, though he privately found Misato and Kaji’s bickering amusing. He also found amusing the fact that, while there was clearly meat and seafood to be seen on the table, neither he nor any of the other diners had the slightest clue where it came from. It made about as much sense as having a PokéDex that didn’t realize he didn’t know what a pig or a monkey was.
Asuka, on the other hand, found Shinji to be completely boring. He tried to engage her in conversation by mentioning his 40% synchronization rate with Genesect, but this did not have the expected outcome. “You think you’re such hot stuff, do you? Well, let me show you something!” With that she grabbed Shinji sharply by the arm and dragged him to the ship’s transport deck. Misato, Kensuke, and Toji followed.
Shinji had no idea what the name of the massive red dinosaur-like creature chained to the deck of the ship was, but he could infer that it was probably Evangelémon Unit 02. “You see this?” said Asuka. “This is Groudon! The first Legendary Pokémon captured for the Evangelémon program. Your Mewtwo and Genesect are just laboratory creations—Groudon has the full power of a wild Legendary Pokémon! And I control it!”
I was right, thought Shinji, Turns out she is a stuck-up bossy bitch.
At that very moment, the entire ship shook. People, Pokémon, and loose objects slid across the deck, and sirens began to shriek.
“Wh-what is it?” asked Shinji, very confused. Luckily he was not confused for long, because an intercom began blaring the message, “Kyogre has begun attacking the Unova Oceanic Fleet. Began Evangelémon deployment.”
“What’s Kyogre?” Shinji asked, even though he was fairly sure he knew.
“Are you stupid?! It’s a Legendary Pokémon—a Water-type,” said Asuka. “Now follow me; we have to get into Groudon’s entry plug.”
“What do you mean, ‘we?’” asked Shinji, as confused as ever. “I thought Groudon was yours.”
“Well, it is, but right now I’m supposed to have backup fighting Kyogre. Not like I need help from you, idiot Shinji. Oh, and there’s a plugsuit for you here in case you forgot yours. Just make sure you remember which one is which—I am NOT wearing your plugsuit for the rest of my time at NERV.”
“All right,” said Shinji. “Cubone, I hate to do this to you, but you’re going to have to go into a Poké Ball for right now. It’s too dangerous out here.” He tapped the Poké Ball to Cubone’s forehead and recalled it inside, then placed it in one of the ship’s lockers.
Sheepishly, Shinji followed Asuka into the entry plug. Given that it had been drilled so hard into him that he and he alone was allowed to use Genesect, he felt strange going into Groudon’s entry plug. As he sat down, he asked Asuka, “Um. . . how, exactly do I control this thing?”
“Well,” said Asuka, “for starters you’re using the wrong language. You’re thinking in Kantoese. If you must thing, do it in Hoennian!”
“Uhhh. . .I erd you liek Mudkips?” Shinji tried his best imitation of a Hoennian accent, which was poor even by his standards. Asuka slapped him.
“OK, Stupid Shinji,” she said at last. “I assume it’s no different from controlling Genesect. Just tell it with your mind where you want it to go and what you want it to do. Of course, I’m going to be the one in charge on this mission, so you’ll just have to watch an expert show you how it’s done.”
With that, Groudon raised itself to its hind legs, reared to its full gigantic height, flexed its arms, and roared. It flung aside the massive tarp that had covered it, momentarily looking for all the world like a professional wrestler with a cape.
As if in recognition of a challenge, Kyogre thrust its head out of the water and let out a disconcertingly high-pitched shriek.
All right, Groudon, let’s show that overgrown Magikarp who’s boss. Lava Plume! A jet of molten rock shot out of Groudon’s mouth, but Kyogre managed to evade it simply by diving underwater.
Kyogre rose to the surface again, and sent a jet of water aiming straight at Groudon. Groudon didn’t have time or room to dodge; it took the attack full force, and was sent stumbling back across the deck of the aircraft carrier. “Oh, shit, it’s using Hydro Pump!” said Asuka. “Shinji, let me handle this.” She pushed Shinji to the back of the entry plug, and prepared Groudon for another attack.
All right, back to basics. Hyper Beam! Groudon fired a blast of white light at Kyogre, but once again the Water-type Pokémon simply disappeared underwater before surfacing at a safe distance.
The KSSDF and the Unovan Navy, to be fair, were having even worse luck. Their Pokémon, most of which seemed to be Tentacruel or Basculin respectively, were essentially getting knocked out within seconds of being sent into battle against Kyogre.
Inside the entry plug, the stress of controlling Groudon together with Asuka was beginning to take its toll on Shinji. Not in the usual way that it did when he was in Genesect’s entry plug, of course, but in the very specific way that it did when one was trapped in a tiny closed area with no company except for a volatile, hot-tempered teenage girl. Shinji was beginning to get the idea—an idea that anyone other than him would have gotten a long time ago—that Asuka only acted like this to people she thought were undeserving of her respect. Having gone essentially his whole life without feeling respected, he felt like he ought to have understood this more than he did.
The battle with Kyogre itself had progressed very little, with no end in sight (although there was a ten-minute intermission for guests to go to the lobby for refreshments). The two Legendary Pokémon were at a stalemate, neither having thus far come anywhere near doing major damage to the other.
Suddenly the entire ship shook, and Groudon—with unexpected grace considering its size—was sent leaping straight into the air, only to come crashing down feet-first on a neighboring ship. Peering out of the entry plug’s view ports, both Shinji and Asuka could see what had happened. Kyogre was ramming itself into the hull of the Castelia, as if it was trying to get at something inside.
With the Blue Danube Waltz by Strauss inexplicably playing in the background, Groudon gracefully skipped from ship to ship, no doubt killing or injuring hundreds of people we don’t give a crap about as it did so. More to the point, it finally succeeded in distracting Kyogre, which now fired a Hydro Pump at it that, this time, it managed to dodge. When it came to a stop, it stood on the far end of the Castelia’s main deck, looming powerful and silent above the rest of the fleet.
Time to take this up a notch or two. Groudon, use Precipice Blades! At that moment, Groudon struck back. Its entire body began to pulse with an orange glow, and a series of massive, jagged rocks erupted out of the water (where they came from in the first place was not exactly clear) and hurled themselves at tremendous speed towards Kyogre. The Water-type Pokémon vanished as the rocks came crashing down onto the water.
“ Now THAT deserves a compliment!” Asuka grinned, clearly quite pleased with herself.
“Um, I wouldn’t say that if I were you,” said Shinji.
“Why? I just defeated Kyogre! I beat a Legendary Pokémon!”
“No, you didn’t.” He pointed out of the entry plug’s view port, so they could both see that Kyogre had returned to the surface, and was returning fire with a Hyper Beam. Groudon had no time to dodge. It took the attack square in the chest, stumbled backwards, and barley manage to avoid falling into the ocean before pushing itself back up onto all four legs.
“Now look what you’ve done!” shouted Shinji, quite exasperated that the plan that the plan to use Groudon’s strongest attack to knock out Kyogre had failed.
“Me?!” replied Asuka. “Look at what you’ve done! You’re the one screwed it up for me!”
Up on the bridge of the Castelia, Misato watched the battle between Groudon and Kyogre nervously. Her nervousness, however, was not because of any fear for Shinji and Asuka’s safety, but because she was wondering what on Earth the “important parcel” Kaji had said he had come to pick up could have been. Kaji, for his part, had not told her anything about it, even during their conversation at lunch, and flown off on the back of his Tropius the moment Kyogre appeared. It seemed to her as though he was hiding something from her.
Pushing her way through the officers on the bridge, Misato grabbed the intercom and shouted to Shinji and Asuka.
“What you’re doing now isn’t going to work anymore. I’m going to ask for permission to bring two of your Pokémon out of storage so you can have support.”
“How is that supposed to help us?” Asuka asked back over the Entry Plug’s intercom.
“I’ll try to explain it quickly,” Misato replied. “Normally, these battles seem to happen close to NERV headquarters and on land, so you always know where your opponent is and where to attack it. That’s not the case here. Basically, what I need you to do is use one of your Pokémon each to keep an eye on Kyogre when it’s outside your own visual range.”
“But I don’t have any Water-types! I can’t—“ said Shinji.
“I don’t care. We’re going to be doing this.”
With that, Misato ran down the stairs to the locker where the Poké Balls were stored, and rummaged through it. Picking up two at random, she ran back up to the deck and threw them at Groudon’s feet. “Shinji, you take this one! Asuka, you take this one! You won’t be able to verbally command them—just use hand gestures.”
Shinji pondered for a moment the absurdity of using Groudon’s hand movements to give commands to another Pokémon, but that thought was quickly replaced with a more pressing one when the two Poké Balls that Misato had given them burst open to reveal . . . his Sandslash and a Magmar.
“Really?” asked Asuka. “You couldn’t have picked better ones?”
“Hey! Sandslash is plenty strong!”
“We haven’t got time. Heck, the more time we spend talking the less time we’ll have to—DUCK!”
Shinji barely had time to wonder why Misato had uttered an idiom stemming from the name of a creature that did not exist in his world, when Groudon crouched down on all fours to avoid one of Kyogre’s Hydro Pumps (which, conveniently, there had been none of during the time that Sandslash and Magmar were being released).
Let’s hope this one works. Lava Plume! At Asuka’s mental command, Groudon struck back, opening its mouth and belching out a stream of boiling magma directly at Kyogre. Unfortunately, Asuka failed to take into account the “Water-type” aspect of Kyogre, and the plume of lava sizzled out upon contact with the surface of the water while Kyogre dove safely below.
Meanwhile, Sandslash and Magmar had fled to the other side of the Castelia’s flight deck. Just as Shinji was having a hard time working together with Asuka, Sandslash and Magmar did not seem to be getting along well either. “Sssandssslasssh, (Listen. Neither of us are going to stand a chance against Kyogre.)”, Sandslash grumbled.
“Mar. Mag-MAR! (Hmph. You keep telling yourself that.)” replied Magmar. Sandlash was not at all taken aback by this remark. He simply grabbed Magmar by the shoulders, nearly burning his hands in the process, of course, and jerked him swiftly around to remind him that he was still supposed to be watching for Kyogre. Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately from the perspective of the various people who were by this point tired of Kyorge’s constant attacks) the Legendary Pokémon was nowhere to be seen.
Shinji and Asuka were not having much better luck. In fact, from their perspective things seemed even worse. If Kyogre had disappeared and found whatever it was it was looking for, that meant it would have succeeded in increasing its power to a level that might threaten all humans and all Pokémon, Legendary and non-Legendary alike. As the two of them stared out over the sea and waited for Kyogre tome back, as they knew it inevitably would, Misato’s voice crackled in Shinji’s intercom.
“Do you read me?” she asked. “We’ve been able to locate Kyogre. It’s underneath the fleet, about 1000 feet down. I’m telling you this because—“
She never got to finish her sentence. Before she could, the entire front half of the Castelia pitched upward violently, and sent everything on it tumbling down into the sea below. Kyogre burst out of the water, and managed to clench Groudon’s leg in its jaws. As the huge Water Pokémon slid back beneath the waves, it dragged Groudon under with it.
Misato turned to face the Captain of the Castelia. “Oh dear,” she said. “Groudon’s weak against Water-types. And it doesn’t look very suited for aquatic combat.”
“Your point is?” said the Captain.
“It can’t swim.”
Back on the deck of the ship, Sandslash and Magmar were simply staring at the patch of sea where Kyogre had just vanished, simply wondering what they were supposed to be doing now. “Mag-mar. Mar mag mag mar magmar. (I guarantee, Kyogre’s going to be back up here soon. It’s only a matter of time—and then BOOM! Grilled seafood!),” chuckled Magmar, evidently quite eager to brag about how strong he thought he was.
Sandslash, as usual, was unimpressed. “Slassh. Sand. . .slash, sand, (You want a guarantee? Get a Master Ball.),” it scoffed, chewing on the twig it held in its mouth.
Hundreds of feet below, Shinji and Asuka were still struggling to get Groudon out of Kyogre’s mouth, though given that they were both quite aware that Groudon was unable to swim they seemed to have little idea what to do once this was done. To make matters worse, Asuka still refused to let Shinji do any of the decision-making. “This is all your fault! I would have defeated Kyogre by now if I’d been allowed to do it myself!”
Shinji tried to come up with a rebuttal, but unfortunately he was inexperienced with the concept of forming arguments, so all he managed to produce was a stream of incoherent gibberish before being smacked by Asuka. “This is an outrage!” she yelled. “You are a pathetic excuse for a Pokémon Trainer, and I am ashamed to even belong in the same category as you. Why, for the trouble you’ve caused I ought to—“
A light began to flash inside the entry plug, and Shinji and Asuka both momentarily put aside their differences to look at it. Umbilical cable at maximum length, it said. Kyogre seemed unwilling to let go of Groudon, however, and continued pulling on it until the cord completely unwound.
At that moment, Misato’s voice crackled in the intercom. “Shinji, Asuka, can you hear me? I have an idea that might be able to defeat Kyogre. But you’ll have to listen very carefully. OK, so those Pokemon of yours on the deck? They’ve been put back in their Poké Balls, and I’m going to use the PC system to transfer them into the entry plug. You job will be to open up Kyogre’s mouth, insert the Poké Balls, and have the Pokémon attack Kyogre from the inside.”
“The entry plug has a PC? Why didn’t you tell me that earlier?” asked Shinji.
“It’s a prototype, Genesect doesn’t have one,” said Misato “It's meant to allow the Trainer to bring a second Pokémon with them in the entry plug to augment Groudon’s power. I’m going to keep the line open in case there’s a problem.”
As the two Poké Balls materialized in the sockets of the entry plug PC, Shinji and Asuka each picked one up and pressed the button to release the Pokémon inside—thereby making the already cramped entry plug much more cramped.
More specifically, Sandslash had emerged from the Poké Ball that had been given to Asuka, and Magmar had come out of his. It seemed as though Asuka had caught onto this as well, as she seemed quite disappointed with what she had been given.
“Well . . . how about we switch?” suggested Shinji.
“No can do, ” said Asuka.
Suddenly Magmar began to glow. Its body grew taller and more musclebound, a series of spikes erupted out of its back, and each of its hands twisted into a cylindrical rotary cannon turret. The newly transformed Pokémon—a Magmortar-- let out a roar of triumph before returning to its place besides Sandslash.
Shinji scanned the new Pokémon on his Pokédex. “Magmortar, the Blast Pokémon and the evolved form of Magmar. It can shoot fireballs at temperatures of up to 1,500 degrees from the turrets on its hands.”
“Well, what now, genius?” asked Asuka. “The Pokémon are still inside the entry plug, so how are they supposed to get out to attack Groudon?”
“I don’t know!” said Shinji. “The entry plug is supposed to be locked from the inside, to keep the LCL from leaking—and by the way, I didn’t know Pokémon could breathe that stuff.” Shinji was fairly sure this particular piece of trivia would in no way, shape, or form become important later on.
Back on the Castelia, the Captain turned toward Misato with a stern look. “You said this was going to work. What’s the holdup?”
“The PC system. It jammed.”
“Well, un-jam it before I have you thrown overboard!” the Captain shouted.
“It’s not that simple. The PC is supposed to transfer the Poké Balls into the Entry plug, and then they can be deployed outside it through an airlock. But it’s the airlock that’s stuck.”
The Captain rubbed his chin. “Well, it was your idea, you go fix it. Surely you have some Water-type that can go down there? Something that knows Dive, preferably?”
“Well, I have my Gyarados, but he’s pretty old—he hasn’t really done something like this in a long time.”
“I don’t care. Go down there and fix that airlock.”
With that, Misato raced down the stairs to the deck of the Castelia, pulled out Gyarados’s cameo-colored KSSDF Poké Ball, and leaped into the water.
Hundreds of feet below, Shinji, Asuka, Sandslash, and Magmortar had been listening to all of this over their intercom. They expected Misato to have some sort of solution for them. What they did not expect was for her to show up, diving on her Gyarados, right outside the window of the entry plug smack in the middle of two battling Legendary Pokémon. Clearly, some things just did not faze her.
The airlock was attached to a catapult of sorts, so that the Poké Balls could be “thrown” into battle by the Trainer commanding them. However, this catapult was not going to be catapulting anything anytime soon—reaching inside it, Misato found what was clogging it.
“All this way . . . for a fucking Magikarp?!” She tossed the flopping Fish Pokémon, now free of its erstwhile prison, aside, then pointed up at the surface and ordered Gyarados to ascend before Kyogre could decide to chase it. Recalling her Pokémon and climbing back onto the Castelia, she quietly chided herself for thinking this was a good idea. This was definitely going in the file labeled “stupid things someone talked me into doing.”
With the Magikarp out of the way, Shinji and Asuka recalled Sandslash and Magmortar back into their Poké Balls and placed them in the airlock. As they clicked in place and slid out of sight, Shinji gulped nervously. If this doesn’t work, I’m probably going to be having some major anxieties about it . . . though, then again, I do seem to have those about everything, don’t I?
Sandslash and Magmortar had already barely recovered from being inside the entry plug, but being inside Kyogre’s mouth was something else again. They were also, though neither of them was in any position to mention it, having a hard time holding their breath.
“Mrrglmrrglmrrgl (When I get back up there, first thing I’m gonna do is ask for some scuba gear)” agreed Magmortar.
“Mmmffgmghff! (I sure hope this doesn’t go on any longer)” Sandslash grumbled through its tight-clenched lips
Fortunately for Sandslash, and probably everybody else, it did not. The two Pokémon, almost immediately after finding themselves inside Kyogre’s mouth, launched their most powerful attacks—Flamethrower for Magmortar and Focus Blast for Sandslash—directly down Kyogre’s throat.
The result was immediate. Kyogre shuddered violently, then surged to the surface of the water, roaring in what one could only assume was pain. As it did so, Groudon broke free of its jaws and managed to climb back up onto the deck of the Castelia, where Shinji and Asuka were lifted out of the entry plug amid excited cheers. Kyogre, meanwhile, sank beneath the surface of the sea a final time, and a glowing image of two concentric circles appeared over the location where it had fallen—the Sign of Arceus.
“Kyogre is unable to battle!” the Captain declared. “I guess, uh, Groudon, Sandslash, and Magmortar win! Though, speaking of which, where are Sandslash and Magmortar?”
Everyone suddenly turned their attention to a large school of Wailmer, Dewgong, and Lapras floating in the water next to the ship. Sitting on their backs were none other than Sandslash and Magmortar, both looking quite wet and quite displeased. “Ssslassh. (OK, thanks for the ride, guys. But seriously, don’t expect me to give you guys a tip.”
“Dew-gooong, Dew-gooong (Fine, be that way, cheapskate)” honked the Dewgong, before swiftly bucking Sandslash and Magmortar up onto the deck. Shinji, Asuka, Misato, and everyone else looked at each other silently for a moment. Then Toji spoke up. “I think we should never speak of this again.” The others nodded in agreement without a word.
The next day, at school, Shinji was startled by the announcement that there would be a new student. He was still recovering from what had happened with Mana, but nothing, not even that, could have prepared him for the sight that greeted him at the chalkboard. “I’m Asuka Langley Soryu. Charmed, huh?”
“NOOOOO!”


Who’s That Pokémon?
It can leap over 30 stories with its incredible lower body strength, and its fiery punches leave enemies burned to a crisp!

Last answer: It’s Primeape
Life can seem a challenge. Life can seem impossible. It's never easy when so much is on the line.


Do you like Eva? Do you like Pokemon? Then check out Neon Genesis Evangelemon-- You Can (Not) Catch 'Em All thread/16052/Neon-Genesis-Evangelemon/

El Squibbonator
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Postby El Squibbonator » Thu Sep 10, 2015 6:31 pm

Once again I apologize for this fix moving along at a snail's pace. But then again, at least it's moving, unlike the fourth Rebuild movie! ^_^
But seriously, folks, here's the ninth episode of Neon Genesis Evangelémon:

Neon Genesis Evangélemon Episode 9:
Prepare for Trouble, Make it Double!

It was hard for Shinji to get used to having Asuka at his school. He tried to avoid her as much as possible, but the worst part was, she had no intention of avoiding him. She had even come up with a nickname for himself, Kenske, and Toji—she called them “the three Legendary Nerds.” Shinji imagined that this was somehow supposed to be funny, but it really wasn’t.
Hikari was pretty much the only person who seemed to tolerate her, because the two of them were frequently seen eating lunch together, away from the other students. It was during lunch, a few days after Asuka first arrived at Shinji’s school, that she got up from where she was sitting and sat down to talk to Shinji. Is she for real? he thought, Is she actually making an attempt at friendship?
Unfortunately, she wasn’t. “Listen, idiot Shinji,” she said. “You seem to think you’re such hot stuff, with your Genesect and your father’s personal favor and whatnot. Well, I want to see you prove it. Three-on-three Pokémon battle this afternoon, on the school exercise yard! And if you don’t show up, then I think that means you’re a coward!”
Asuka’s words stung Shinji, but he knew she probably wasn’t bluffing. He also wondered what Pokémon she would be using. So far, other than Groudon, he’d only seen Primeape and Magmortar, but they both seemed to be extremely strong. It would be fair to assume, then, that the rest of her team wasn’t composed of pushovers. And she’s from Hoenn, he thought. I bet she has Pokémon I’ve never even seen before.
After class got out, Shinji met Asuka on the exercise yard, with Kensuke having volunteered as the referee. Asuka pulled out a Poké Ball from her pocket, and threw it high in the air. “All right, let’s get this show on the road! Scizor, stand by for battle!”
Hmmm, thought Shinji. A Bug-type. The only one I have that’s good against those is. . .
“Pidgeooot! (Y’all ‘bout ta get yer asses kicked, son!)”
“Pidgeotto! Use Peck!” Pidgeotto dived at Scizor, but before its attack could make contact it was knocked out of the air by a sudden Metal Claw attack from Scizor. It lay crumpled on the ground, somehow only “fainted” despite having been dealt an injury that logically should have been fatal. Shinji recalled it, and gave a heavy sigh.
Asuka likewise recalled Scizor, and pulled out a new Poké Ball. “Zangoose, stand by for battle!” The Pokemon that emerged looked like a bipedal white cat, with long sharp claws and red markings. Shinji scanned it on his Pokédex.
“Zangoose. The Cat Ferret Pokémon. It bears numerous physical and mental scars from its bitter rivalry with Seviper.” Well, that certainly helps, thought Shinji. Again with the words I don’t know—what’s a cat? What’s a ferret?
“All right,” sad Shinji, half-resigned by now, “I choose . . . Furret.” He pulled out Furret’s Poké Ball, and pressed the button.
“Furr-rret! Furr-furr-furret! (Finally! About time I got a role in this story).” Furret chattered to himself, rearing up onto two legs so he was level with Zangoose.
“All right, Furret,” said Shinji, “Use Agility!” Furret zigzagged across the exercise yard, so fast that both Shinji and Asuka were momentarily confused about where he had gone. Before either of them could ask, though, Furret streaked past Zangoose and nailed it in the head with an overhand claw swipe. Furret returned to Shinji’s side, Zangoose stumbled back, and for a moment Shinji thought he might have won.
That was short-lived, of course, as he soon remembered that he was, after all, Shinji Ikari—there seemed to be a fundamental law of the universe stating that he could never feel proud of himself for very long. Sure enough, Zangoose got to its feet, and Furret was preparing to attack again, Asuka shouted, “Zangoose, use Crush Claw!” Furret paused nervously, having never heard the name of this attack before. Unfortunately for him, that bought Zangoose just enough time to bring one glowing-blue claw crashing down onto Furret’s neck and knocking it out instantly.
“Furret is unable to battle. Zangoose wins!” Kensuke declared.
“So,” said Asuka. “I was thinking maybe you and I should call it quits! There’s no way you could beat me!”
Although his expression certainly didn’t show it, Shinji was outraged by this idea. “No,” he said at last. “You said we were going to have a 3 on 3 battle, and I want to finish it.”
“Well, fair’s fair.” Asuka replied, tossing her red-orange hair with one hand. “But I won’t make this easy for you. Blaziken, stand by for battle!”
A sensible Pokémon trainer with Shinji’s level of experience would have been shocked and intimidated by Asuka’s choice for her third Pokémon. But Shinji, of course, was not a sensible trainer. So his first step was, as usual, to find out what the seven-foot-tall flaming bird creature in front of him was, despite the fact that Asuka had just said its name. “Blaziken,” his PokéDex said, “The Blaze Pokémon. In battle it blows out flames from its wrists and attacks foes courageously.”
Once more, a sensible Pokémon trainer would have evaluated his opponent’s weaknesses and used the strongest Pokémon he could against them. But since Shinji was (again) not a sensible trainer, his choice of Pokémon was rather questionable. “Are you ready, Cubone?” he asked, patting his starter Pokémon on its skull helmet.
“Bone. (I guess.),” it nodded, then stepped out in front of him brandishing its bone.
“All right, Blaziken, time to heat this game up! Flamethrower!” Cubone leaped aside as Blaziken’s jet of fire shot towards him, then glanced up at Shinji, wondering what exactly it was supposed to do next.
“Quick! Bonemerang!” shouted Shinji.
Cubone threw its bone at Blaziken, who nimbly leapt aside. Fortunately for Cubone, the bone circled around like a boomerang and landed back at Cubone’s feet. As Cubone bent down to pick it up, though, he was struck by another Flamethrower attack from Blaziken, sending him tumbling backwards head over heels.
“Booonnne. . . (That’s cheating! Why, I’ll show you. . .)” Cubone grunted as he raised himself to his feet. As he did, though, Shinji, Asuka, and Kensuke all noticed that Cubone was glowing. His body seemed to be changing as well—He grew taller and more muscular, spikes erupted out of his back, the skull helmet on his head began fusing to his neck, and his tail stretched out and became longer. “Wait. . .” said Shinji, “isn’t that . . .?”
“What are you, stupid,” said Asuka. “Cubone just evolved! Don’t tell me you don’t know what that is!”
“Uh . . . I . . . just . . .uh . . . forgot?” stammered Shinji. “OK, Marowak, use Bone Rush!”
Marowak gripped his bone in his hand and leaped up at Blaziken, who nimbly sprang out of the way.
“Marowak! Wak! Maro! (Hey! No, fair!)” Marowak growled as Blaziken landed safely on the other side of the exercise yard.
“Now’s your chance!” said Asuka. “Blaziken, time to finish this with Flare Bltiz!” At that moment, a rain of red-hot embers erupted out of Blaziken’s body and pelted the battlefield all around Marowak, leaving it nowhere to hide.
Kensuke raised his hand. “Marowak is unable to . . . huh?” He, Shinji, Asuka, and Blaziken all turned to look at the spot where Marowak had been. All that they could see was a hole in the ground, accompanied by the sort of trail of raised soil that is typical of burrowing mammals in cartoons.
Before any of them could fully comprehend what this meant, Marowak burst out of the ground directly underneath Blaziken and smacked directly in the crotch with its bone. Disregarding the obvious innuendo present here, Blaziken fired up a Blaze Kick attack and punted Marowak all the way back across the battlefield, before collapsing on the ground in pain.
“Marowak and Blaziken are both unable to battle! And since Shinji has no Pokémon remaining, Asuka is the winner.”
After his loss to Asuka, Shinji returned to his normal state of morose depression. As a matter of fact, he was even more dejected than usual now that he was forced to spend so much time with Asuka. She seemed to be everything he wished he could be—accomplished, popular, sexy . . . OK, maybe I don’t wish I could be that last one.
After school that day, Shinji returned to NERV HQ, where he went through all the motions of homework and training he had gone through every day without so much as a word. All the while, he continued to ask himself questions like, if I save the world on a regular basis, why does no one appreciate what I do? and if this new trainer is such hot stuff, why do they still need me anyway? , and of course, the ever-nagging am I going to get in trouble for even thinking about these?
Shinji’s self-loathing was somewhat rudely interrupted when he was called to the briefing room. This, he knew, could only mean one thing—another Legendary Pokémon had entered Pallet Town 3. When he got to the briefing, however, he wasn’t the only one in it.
Misato was already standing behind the presentation desk, and, as his terrible luck would have it, Asuka had already taken one of the other seats. She was already dressed in her red plugsuit, and by her side sat Primeape. Neither of them looked pleased to see him.
“So,” said Misato, ”as you have probably guessed, there has been another incursion. A double incursion. Two Legendary Pokémon, Latios and Latias, are making their way toward Pallet Town 3. To defeat them you are going to have to engage them in a double battle. I imagine that you, being from Hoenn, are familiar with that concept, Asuka?”
Asuka nodded.
“All right then,” said Misato. “Let’s have some practice. Pen-pen! Gyarados! Come on out!”
“Primeape, stand by for battle!” said Asuka.
“Sandslash, I choose you!” shouted Shinji.
“Why’d you choose Sandslash?” asked Asuka, in a mixture of shock and amusement. “Gyarados and Empoleon are both Water-types; Sandslash is double-weak against them.”
“You may have your own opinion,” said Shinji, “but Sanslash happens to be my strongest non-Legendary Pokémon. Focus Blast!”
Sandslash fired the attack at Pen-pen, who managed to block it with his wings, deflecting it back towards Shinji and Asuka.
“All right,” said Asuka, “let me show you how a real Trainer does it. Primeape, use Thunderpunch!”
“Prime-aaape! Ape! Ape aaape! (Let me tell ya something, brother? What ya gonna do when Primeape-mania runs wild on ya?)” Primeape charged directly toward Gyarados, then, as Misato, Shinji, and Asuka all looked on in amazement, hooked it under the chin with an electrically charged underhand punch. Gyarados was sent sprawling backwards and collapsed on the floor. Misato recalled it to its Poké Ball.
“Very impressive,” said Misato. “Instead of a Fighting-type attack, you used an Electric-type. How were you able to teach Primeape that?”
“Move tutor,” said Asuka, nodding politely.
“Very well then,” replied Misato. “Pen-pen—use Surf!” The Shiny Empoleon stood motionless for a moment. Then he slowly raised his wings, and a massive barrage of water, which did not seem to be coming from any visible source, came crashing into the room, completely drenching Primeape and Sandslash and disappearing as quickly as it had arrived. For no apparent reason, the room was in the exact same condition as it had always been in mere minutes later, even though it logically ought to have been quite damaged by the sheer amount of water.
The only real consequence of Pen-pen’s Surf attack was that Primeape was now knocked out and Sandslash was panting and gasping heavily.
“All right, Sandslash, back to basics. Focus Blast!”
Sandslash pushed itself back up onto two legs and, gripping its signature twig in its mouth, aimed another Focus Blast at Pen-pen.
“Pen-pen, dodge it, then use Hydro Pump!” said Misato.
Pen-pen leaped aside and the Focus Blast flew past it, hitting the wall instead (and destroying a very expensive vase in the process). But as he then prepared to fire his Hydro Pump, he looked around. Sandslash was nowhere to be seen.
“He’s underground!” shouted Misato. “He’s just using Dig! Just wait for him to come up and then do it!”
But Pen-pen was still confused. And he remained confused for a moment too long, because Sandslash, in his customary manner, erupted out of the ground and raked him across the face with his claws. Pen-pen stumbled backwards, then fell to the ground, knocked out.
“Well, congratulations on beating me in battle,” said Misato once she and Shinji had recalled their Pokémon. “But I must say that this was not the sort of double battle I was hoping for. You and Asuka did not co-operate very well at all, and I imagine that was what led to Primeape’s defeat.”
This remark infuriated Asuka. “Are you saying that I’m a bad Trainer because I wouldn’t work with Idiot Shinji?”
“No, I’m saying that you both didn’t work together in a double battle very well. Which is why, until your mission, you’ll be doing EVERYTHING together.” Shinji and Asuka looked at each other and gulped.
So Shinji and Asuka spent the next three days doing every imaginable task together, from brushing their teeth to taking out the garbage to—and this was Shinji’s least favorite part—harvesting Misato’s “prizewinning” Shuckle juice. If there’s one good thing about all this, he thought, it can’t possibly be worse than having to do a double battle with Legendary Pokémon.
Shinji was, as a matter of fact, quite right about this point. Almost as soon as he and Asuka had been sealed into their entry plugs, and Genesect and Groudon had been transported to central Pallet Town 3, Asuka’s voice crackled in Shinji’s intercom.
“Listen, Shinji.” she said. “I don’t want to work with you, and you don’t want to work with me. How about we each pick one of the targets and focus on it.”
“We can’t. You remember what Misato said—we have to work together for this one. You should know, you’re the one who’s from Hoenn.”
“And since when does being from Hoenn make me a world expert on double battles?” asked Asuka. “I’ll have you know that-- heilige Scheiße! What was that?”
Shinji craned his neck to look out of the entry plug’s viewport and saw it for himself—two nearly identical Dragon Pokémon, one red, the other blue, and both as sleek as jet fighters. The two dragons, Latios and Latias, stopped in midair, paused, and turned to face Genesect and Groudon, as if daring for them to challenge them.
Asuka didn’t wait for further instruction from Misato, then ordered Groudon to fire a Hyper Beam at Latios. The Dragon-type Pokémon effortlessly avoided the attack, and rose so high up into the sky it seemed to be no more than a speck. For a moment, Shinji and Asuka stared up at the spot where it had been, trying unsuccessfully to scope it out for a second attack.
Latias didn’t give them time. It gathered together a ball of blue . . . mist? Water? Energy? OK, let’s call go with that last one—blue energy, and launched it at Groudon.
“That’s Latias’s Mist Ball attack!” said Misato. “If it hits either of you, you’ll be in trouble!”
“Gee, ya think?” said Shinji, exhibiting an oddly out-of-character amount of sarcasm. “You could have told me about this before. . . “
He never got to finish his sentence—or at least, Misato never got to hear him finish it. The Mist Ball struck Genesect square in the chest, and through the mind-link Shinji felt as though he had been punched in the gut. Genesect dropped onto all fours alongside Groudon, while Latios and Latias descended to look the other two Legendary Pokémon in the eyes.
Shinji looked up nervously at the two Dragon Pokémon, then over his shoulder at Groudon. It had only occurred to him just now, of all times, that Groudon and Genesect were not in any way equipped to fight flying opponents because they were, to put it lightly, lacking in the wings department. “Asuka?” he asked over his intercom, “Does Groudon know any moves that can affect all of the Pokémon on the battlefield? Genesect doesn’t.”
“Well,” she said “Groudon knows Earthquake, but that wont help any because Latios and Latias both have Leviatate as their ability.”
“What’s an ability?” asked Shinji.
“What are you, stupid?” Asuka replied. “An ability is something a Pokémon can do that affects how it battles. It’s not the same as an attack—it’s more like a feature specific to that Pokémon. If a Pokémon has Levitate as its ability, it can’t be hit by Ground-type attacks.”
Shinji was about to respond, but was cut off when he noticed that both Latias and Latios were preparing to launch their attacks. “Asuka! Get down!” he shouted.
Genesect leaped aside, and Groudon crouched as low to the ground as it could (which was, admittedly, difficult in the middle of a cluttered city street). The two Legendary Pokémon’s attacks shot past them, destroying an inconveniently placed fruit cart in the process.
Finally, Shinji said something that surprised absolutely everyone: “I have an idea.”
Asuka did a double take, the computer technicians at NERV HQ listening in on the battle nearly spit out their coffee, and even Misato wondered if she’s been having a bit too much Shuckle juice.
Genesect, without further warning, leaped onto Groudon’s back, and raised its turret into firing position. “All right”, thought Shinji, “now all I need is for those two Legendaries to . . .”
“Attack us at the same time? Are you insane?” Asuka shouted from inside Groudon’s entry plug. Overhead, Latios and Latias came to a stop in the air immediately above one another, perfectly mirroring what Genesect and Groudon were doing.
“This is a terrible idea,” said Asuka. “Let me finish this. Lava—“
Shinji cut her off. “No! We have to take them both out at the same time to end the battle as quickly as possible. Don’t launch your attack until after they do, and exactly when I do.”
Though Shinji could not see it, Asuka rolled her eyes. And resumed focus on the two Dragon Pokémon overhead. As Latios and Latias released their Luster Purge and Mist Ball attacks, Shinji shouted one final word to Asuka: “NOW!”
Genesect and Groudon both fired Hyper Beams, and the four Pokémon’s attacks collided in midair with a deafening explosion and a blinding flash of light. When this had cleared, Latios and Latias had vanished. In there place was a shimmering golden image of a wheel set within a wheel, which Shinji now recognized as the Sign of Arceus.
The control room in NERV HQ erupted in triumphant applause. Unfortunately, Shinji was in no mood to celebrate. When he got out of Genesect’s entry plug, he found himself face to face with Asuka—and on the receiving end of another lecture about Double Battles.
Shinji sighed. This could only mean one thing: more harvesting Shuckle juice.

Who’s That Pokemon: This Pokémon makes its home inside active volcanoes. It uses its cross-shaped feet to climb up walls.

Last Answer:
It’s Blaziken!
Life can seem a challenge. Life can seem impossible. It's never easy when so much is on the line.


Do you like Eva? Do you like Pokemon? Then check out Neon Genesis Evangelemon-- You Can (Not) Catch 'Em All thread/16052/Neon-Genesis-Evangelemon/

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Postby Charizard » Sun Oct 23, 2016 3:26 am

Well, you got some good ideas here, but sadly your art style really throws the whole thing off (especially since you're 23). Maybe learn to draw better? Or you can even hire/commission someone to draw for you. I have zero artistic talent though, so I'm not the guy (yes, guy) to ask.
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Postby El Squibbonator » Sun Oct 23, 2016 10:40 am

I freely admit that my digital art isn't the best, and I'm always open for constructive criticism. A lot of those pictures took a long time to color in as they were (Pokemon are detailed!), so I can't go back and replace them on short order, but I'm definitely going to work on improving the rest from here on out.
I'm not going to resort to asking for commissions, because 1. I intend to illustrate this fanfic myself, no matter how long it takes me to write it, and 2. I don't have the money to pay for them in the first place.
Life can seem a challenge. Life can seem impossible. It's never easy when so much is on the line.


Do you like Eva? Do you like Pokemon? Then check out Neon Genesis Evangelemon-- You Can (Not) Catch 'Em All thread/16052/Neon-Genesis-Evangelemon/

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Postby El Squibbonator » Wed Jan 11, 2017 8:31 pm

Just wanted to say this formally, but this fic should be considered on hiatus now.
Last edited by El Squibbonator on Thu Aug 10, 2017 11:53 am, edited 2 times in total.
Life can seem a challenge. Life can seem impossible. It's never easy when so much is on the line.


Do you like Eva? Do you like Pokemon? Then check out Neon Genesis Evangelemon-- You Can (Not) Catch 'Em All thread/16052/Neon-Genesis-Evangelemon/

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Postby El Squibbonator » Thu Aug 10, 2017 11:52 am

Yes, I know this fic has been on a long hiatus. Yes, I know that it updates slower than molasses in January. But you know what? Just bear with me. It's all going to be worth it in the end.

Shopping in Pallet Town 3 was not something Asuka normally looked especially forward to, but on this particular day she made an exception. Not because there was anything interesting or unusual on sale, mind you, but because she would be going with Ryoji Kaji. Even though Kaji had been her legal guardian since she was a toddler, she had developed a major crush on him, something she was not at all subtle about. Kaji, on the other hand, had learned to ignore these approaches. Doing otherwise meant drawing the ire of his Mawile, which would burst out of its Poké Ball and bite him very hard on the head—something that never failed to amuse everyone watching.
On this particular occasion “everyone watching” happened to include Shinji, who was enjoying a rare break with Marowak in front of a café. Asuka noticed him there, and stopped to greet him. This was, of course, unusual. Normally, she would pay no more attention to Shinji in the street than she would to a Ratatta rooting through the garbage. Could it be true? He thought. Could Asuka actually be engaging me in friendly conversation?
Unfortunately, Shinji’s hopes were soon dashed the moment Asuka opened her mouth. “So, Shinji, I just wanted to tell you about what my class reunion at Smogon University is doing this weekend. We’re going scuba diving in the Seafoam Islands! Too bad you can’t come!”
I should have known, thought Shinji. Once a jerk, always a jerk. If only she’d. . . wait a minute. “Actually,” Shinji said, “you won’t be. You’ve gotta be on constant alert in case another Legendary Pokémon shows up.” Asuka fumed to herself, but reluctantly followed Shinji back to NERV HQ.
Inside the HQ, Gendo and Dr. Akagi were both staring at a computer screen showing a cross section of a volcano. Inside of the volcano—deep inside the lava-filled crater, as a matter of fact-- was the flashing silhouette of what was presumably a Legendary Pokémon.
“Who’s that Pokémon?” Dr. Akagi asked, rather confused.
“Heatran. We’re lucky. It hasn’t come out yet. That means we have time. We’re going to need Groudon for this one.”
“Why?” asked Dr. Akagi.
“Honestly, sometimes I wonder why you have your credentials,” sighed Gendo. “The reason we need Groudon for this mission is because Groudon is also capable of surviving extremely high temperatures. Our engineering division has designed a special plugsuit that will enable its Trainer to do the same.”
“I see,” said Dr. Akagi. “And where is said Trainer?”
“Right now, she should be in the exercise room, doing her aquatic workout routine.”
Shinji sat down grumpily and stared at his homework. Today’s homework subject was science, and none of the questions made any sense whatsoever. That being said, any attempt at applying science to the Pokémon world was pretty much guaranteed to not make sense, what with the multiple violations of the laws of physics that many Pokémon committed simply by existing.
“Umm, excuse me!” he called out, to no one in particular. “A little help?”
Unfortunately, the only other person in the room was Asuka, who was doing her swim practice. She climbed out of the pool, walked over to the table where Shinji was sitting, and took a short look at his homework. Then she turned her head away.
“Well, of course you’re having trouble with it—you aren’t even getting the basic background information right! Arbok doesn’t evolve into Seviper, and there’s no such thing as a Pikablu. Now, if you will excuse me I have to—“
“Wait!” said Shinji. “Can you tell me what this means?” He pointed at a phrase he had highlighted: Thermal Expansion.
“Thermal expansion? That’s easy!” said Asuka. She climber back into the pool. “OK. So, the idea is that the warmer an object gets, the less dense its molecules are and the larger it becomes. So, if I were to heat up just my breasts, do you think they’d grow bigger?” Asuka then proceeded to do exactly that, resulting in no small amount of embarrassment for Shinji.
“I. . . think I get it,” said Shinji. “So if I were to do this, this thermal expansion thing, I would have an enormous schwanzstucker.”
“That goes without saying,” said Asuka.
Shinji and Asuka’s intimate experiments were cut short by the now-familiar sound of an announcement over the intercom requesting them to report to Gendo’s office.
“Shinji, Asuka,” said Gendo, “there has been another Legendary Pokémon incursion, this one in the volcano on Cinnabar Island. I assume you already know what your duty is.”
The children both nodded.
Gendo continued. “The procedure for the operation is as follows. Asuka, you and Groudon will enter the caldera and battle Heatran. . .” He paused, as if for dramatic effect. “. . . IN THE VERY HEART OF THE VOLCANO ITSELF! And you, Shinji, you and Genesect will stand by in case something bad happens to Asuka and Groudon. Don’t be too hard on yourself.”
With that, Gendo momentarily left his office, and returned holding something red and rubbery-looking—the plugsuit Asuka was to be wearing inside the volcano. While Shinji averted his eyes, Asuka changed into the new plugsuit. Shinji cursed to himself in private. Damn it, Asuka. You stole my job, you stole my father’s approval, you got the new plugsuit. . .quit stealing my life! But the sight that greeted Shinji when he turned back around, though, was one that made him laugh out loud.
Asuka was wearing the plugsuit, all right—if by “wearing” one meant “struggling to stand up while the plugsuit inflated around her like a balloon.” Shinji snapped out of his confused self-loathing to chuckle at the absurdity of it, which inevitable made Asuka even angrier. “Shinji . . . you . . . IDIOT! Don’t just stand their laughing, do something!”
“Uuh, all right. Sandlash, I need you!”
Asuka barely had time to gasp in astonishment before Sandslash tore a hole in the inflated plugsuit, letting the air out.
“Wow,” said Shinji. “What was that.”
Gendo looked sternly at both of them. “I was going to tell you not to put it on yet. It’s not designed to be worn in these temperatures. Now, if you’d rather Rei do it. . .”
At this, Asuka snapped. “No. There is no way I am letting that commander’s pet do my job. I don’t care if the suit doesn’t fit me, I’m in. By the way, is there a reason the suit inflates like that?”
“It seemed like a good idea at the time,” said Gendo, then beckoned for Shinji and Asuka to follow him downstairs.
As Groudon and Genesect were being prepared to be transported to Cinnabar Island (no easy task, since it required putting the huge Pokémon in a specially constructed container, then in a truck, and then on a ship) Shinji noticed that the sky had begun to fill with KSSDF airplanes. He was about to point this out, when Misato explained, “The KSSDF is going to be monitoring us on this one. They say that if we fail to knock out Heatran, they have the authority to drop an N2 bomb down the volcano—while you’re still in it. Good luck!” The cheerful expression Misato kept on her face while she said this gave Shinji very little confidence.
The volcano itself took up almost all of Cinnabar Island. The last time it had erupted was during Second Impact, at which point it had destroyed the city that once existed on the island, including the Cinnabar Island Gym. Now it was a barren wasteland of lava, rock, and smoking craters. It looks, Shinji thought to himself, like the moon. All lifeless and desolate.
Shinji hadn’t expected to be going on this mission as well, but Dr. Akagi insisted that he do so as a backup in case Asuka became stuck inside the volcano and needed to be extracted. Shinji knew in the back of his mind that if it ever came to that, Asuka would resent him even more than she already did. Still, perhaps if everything went smoothly he would be able to sit this one out and not have to risk his life for once.
Once they reached the summit, Groudon began to slowly descend into the volcano’s crater. A billowing cloud of white steam emerged from the crater as the huge Pokémon stepped into the lava, followed by a crackling, sizzling sound that reminded Shinji of coals over a dying fire. Shinji knew that Groudon’s heavy armor plating protected it from the heat of the lava, but he wondered how Asuka was able to withstand it inside the entry plug.
Asuka, for her part, was beginning to feel distinctly uncomfortable. The heat-resistant material of the entry plug kept her from being fried to a crisp, but that did not change the fact that she was now, quite literally, hot and bothered.
“I can’t see a thing in here,” Asuka grumbled. “Damn it, Shinji—why can’t you come down here for once. I need a second set of eyes just to see through this Arceus-damned place.” She then cursed in Hoennian, startling Shinji as he listened over his intercom.
“Are. . . are you OK?” Shinji asked.
“I was, until you had the nerve to ask. Now go back to whatever you were doing before!”
Shinji slapped his forehead (involuntarily causing Genesect to do the same thing), and resumed crouching at the edge of the crater.
As Groudon descended lower and lower into the volcano’s crater, Asuka struggled to see through the entry plug on its back. She could hear, though—she could hear the grinding and scraping far below that she was sure was being caused by Heatran preparing to emerge. Unfortunately, because she couldn’t tell exactly where it was, she had no way of aiming an attack at it. It was just like the battle against Kyogre; she had to wait for her opponent to make the opening move. And so far, it didn’t seem to be moving.
Back up on the ledge of the crater, Shinji was getting bored. He had been instructed to keep an eye on Asuka and Groudon in case anything went wrong during their descent into the volcano, but so far everything was going exactly right, which made his job a rather boring one.

Meanwhile, back at NERV HQ, Shinji’s other Pokémon weren’t having a much more enjoyable time. Raticate, Furret, Marowak, and Pidgeotto were resting against a wall in the storage room, all of them “Raaaticate. Rat rat raticaaate. . . (I don’t believe it. It’s been ages since we were in this lousy show, and something good had better happen soon, or I’m out of here!)”, Raticate complained.
“Marowak wak maro! (Aren’t there any good games we could play, or something?)” asked Marowak.
“Furret, furret, furr (Well, there’s always. . .),” said Furret, “Furr, furr, furret! (Name that smell!)” The other Pokémon looked at Furret incredulously, then watched as he darted into a closet and came out pushing a large cardboard box. A cardboard box that just so happened to have a rather distinctive odor emanating from it.
“Furret! Furret furr! (Each contestant gets one guess and the winner receives. . .)” Furret paused, “Furr-furr-furr! (a lifetime supply of Poké Puffs!)” Furret chuckled to himself after he said this; he didn’t really have a lifetime supply of Poké Puffs to give away, but in any case he didn’t expect anyone to guess what was in the box.
The guesses were, as Furret imagined, rather wide of the mark.
“Marow! (Old socks!),” said Marowak.
“Raaaticate! (Toe jam!),” said Raticate.
“Pidgeoo! (I don’t know. Birds can’t smell)” said Pidgeotto.
Finally, Furret said, “Furr-furr, furret. (I’m sorry, none of those are right.)” With that he hopped on top of the box and flipped it open, revealing. . .
“PRIME-AAAPE! (Let me tell you something, brother! I thought you knew me better than that!)” Marowak, Raticate, Pidgeotto, and Furret scattered, and Primeape tore around the storage room in frustration.
Eventually, Primeape stomped upstairs to the NERV control room, where Maya and the other computer technicians were monitoring Asuka’s descent anxiously.
“I know it gets lonely down there,” said Maya, getting up from her seat, “but you have to stay down with the other Pokémon.” With that Maya picked up Primeape—though not without getting repeatedly punched on the nose—and began to carry him back downstairs. As she did, Shigeru called after her.
“Maya, you might want to have a look at this,”
“Not now!” she said. “I need to take Primeape back down to the storage room. Can’t this wait?”
“No. Take a look.” Maya set Primeape back down on the floor—the Pig-Monkey Pokémon took the opportunity to sneak up behind Shigeru and steal his hat—and stared at the screen.
“Mother of Arceus. Heatran—it’s moving.”
Through a statistically unlikely but narratively convenient coincidence, this was exactly the statement that Asuka was making at the same time. Heatran was beginning to slowly stir within its lava chamber. Asuka, much as she would have liked to deny it, was now scared. Waiting for her opponent to attack first wasn’t an option anymore.
“All right, Groudon—Hyper Beam now!” Groudon unleashed a blinding flash of white light into the crater of the volcano, but this seemed not to affect Heatran.
“Are you having any trouble down there?” Shinji called to Asuka.
“No,” Asuka lied. Needless to say, she was, but to say otherwise would have meant admitting defeat, and even worse admitting she needed help from Idiot Shinji, so there was no need for that.
“All right then.” Now that Shinji was satisfied that he wasn’t needed for the time being, Genesect sat down on the edge of the volcano and rested its head against its arm. Unfortunately, at that very moment, a passing flock of Pidgey decided that the gigantic cyborg Pokémon would make a good place to relieve themselves. From inside the entry plug, Shinji could only watch as splatters of white goop started covering the view ports. He tried wiping the windows off, but this had the opposite of the desired effect. Not only did Shinji—in a moment of unnatural stupidity even for him—forget that the Pidgey droppings were on the outside of Genesect and he was on the inside, he also caused Genesect to start waving its own arms around, losing its balance.
Before Shinji had time to slap his forehead, Genesect had fallen into the volcano. . . and landed directly on top of Groudon.
“What’s the big deal?!” Asuka asked. “I told you I could handle this myself!”
“Well, maybe I thought it would help if I, you, know, dropped by?” Shinji said, trying to alleviate the mood. Asuka was not amused.
“Listen here, idiot,” Asuka’s voice crackled in Shinji’s intercom. “Whether or not I want you down here, you are now. So Heatran’s about to break out of the volcano, and I need your help to take it out.”
“Well, what do you want me to do?” Shinji asked.
“No more questions right now!” snapped Asuka. “Just make sure Genesect stays on top of Groudon’s back. Genesect isn’t meant to withstand lava, so we need to keep it out of it for as long as possible.” Shinji crouched down as best as he could inside the cramped entry plug, causing Genesect to squat down as well and grip onto Groudon’s back.
All right, Genesect. Hyper Beam! Shinji thought. A blazing bolt of light surged forwards from Genesect’s cannon, but Heatran barely even flinched when it hit it. For a moment, Shinji wondered if the Legendary Pokémon was going to retaliate, but it never did. It was moving more and more often, though, and that made him nervous. So far, it hadn’t attacked, which both Shinji and Asuka thought was odd.
Both Genesect and Groudon continued firing attacks at Heatran, but none of them succeeded in eliciting any sort of response from the Fire/Steel-type Pokémon. I guess it makes sense, Shinji thought to himself. If it’s living in a volcano, it’s got to be pretty tough, so whatever we’re going to be able to throw at it probably isn’t going to hurt it. Now, if one of us had a Water-type, that would be another. . .
“Wait a minute.” Shinji called back up to Misato on the entry plug’s intercom. “You know the different drives that change the type of Genesect’s Techno Blast attack that you told me about? Which one is it using right now?”
“It doesn’t have one now,” she said. “Are you requesting one?”
“Yes. The Douse Drive.”
“I’ll see what I can do. If I can get it, you should have it in a couple minutes.”
A couple minutes, Shinji thought. Down here that feels like thirty freaking hours.
As it turned out, they were both wrong. The Douse Drive arrived exactly one minute later, not, as Misato had so informally put it “a couple”, and most definitely not “thirty freaking hours.” Once the drive had automatically slid into Genesect’s cannon, Shinji lined up Heatran in his sight and prepared to fire. . . only for Asuka to interrupt him. And she sounded furious.
“Listen here, idiot!” she said. “Everything that’s gone badly for me today, all of it, has been your ficken fault. It’s because of you that I’m not able to go to the Seafoam Islands. It’s because of you that I’m down here. Now the least you could do is let me finish this job myself and at least get some recognition for it instead of upstaging me like you always do.”
Shinji thought for a moment. Was Asuka right? Had he really been unintentionally inconveniencing her this whole time?
“Asuka,” he said, “I have. . . something important to tell you.”
“What is it? It had better be really important if you’re telling me down here.”
“It is,” said Shinji. “I just wanted to say that I’m. . .”
Unfortunately, at that very moment, Misato’s voice shouted in his intercom, “GET ON WITH IT!”
With that, Shinji fired Genesect’s Techno Blast attack, striking Heatran squarely in the face. The Legendary Pokémon vanished, leaving the Sign of Arceus in its place, just as every Legendary Pokémon before it had.
Back at NERV HQ, Misato, Maya, and Dr. Akagi were cheering, but Shinji felt as glum as ever. Even when he was trying to be nice to people, the world still found a way to kick him in the gonads.


Who’s That Pokémon?

This Pokémon was modified by scientists for travel into outer space. However, it can’t actually fly.

Last answer:
It’s Heatran!
Life can seem a challenge. Life can seem impossible. It's never easy when so much is on the line.


Do you like Eva? Do you like Pokemon? Then check out Neon Genesis Evangelemon-- You Can (Not) Catch 'Em All thread/16052/Neon-Genesis-Evangelemon/


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